| Latest articles: For all women
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I was molested by my stepdad, now with kids of my own how do I tell my mom I don't want them in their house!?
Q. Since I was about 6 years old till I was about 16 years old my step father molested and raped me, it was an every day thing. It finally got to the point were I wouldn't even fight him anymore, I would just let it happen. I finaly got the courage to ...
A. 20 March 2008: Poster, I'm afraid that pressing charges wouldn't do much good. I don't know the legal system in the United States, but I know that proving abuse is difficult everywhere. And then he would have the support of your mother. Maybe your sister would ... (read in full...)
She has lost confidence in our relationship, is numb and wants to split "for now".
Q. My g/f of 18 months now says she has lost confidence in or relationship and says she is numb and doesn't know what she wants and feels. We have gone through a bad patch arguing. We are mid 30's I backed off a bit and didn't hassle for a mon...
A. 19 March 2008: I'm sorry, but I think she isn't coming back.
She says she has lost confidence in the relationship (that is, in you), is numb and doesn't know what she wants (that is, she doesn't know whether she wants you = she doesn't want you).
And the... (read in full...)
What did she mean by what she said???
Q. I met this woman over a month ago and we have been out twice. The past 2-3 weeks she has been busy with work to apply for a uni course so I haven't seen her (we have stayed in touch via texts, and spoke 2 times). I really like her and I'm sure she ...
A. 19 March 2008: That sort of changes things. She has agreed to see you. However, be careful.... (read in full...)
I was molested by my stepdad, now with kids of my own how do I tell my mom I don't want them in their house!?
Q. Since I was about 6 years old till I was about 16 years old my step father molested and raped me, it was an every day thing. It finally got to the point were I wouldn't even fight him anymore, I would just let it happen. I finaly got the courage to ...
A. 19 March 2008: I agree with Baby Duck: you need to see a professional to help you with your flashbacks and memories. Some people are able to cope with abuses as severe and prolonged as the abuse you were submitted to, but it seems like you just thought you had ... (read in full...)
What did she mean by what she said???
Q. I met this woman over a month ago and we have been out twice. The past 2-3 weeks she has been busy with work to apply for a uni course so I haven't seen her (we have stayed in touch via texts, and spoke 2 times). I really like her and I'm sure she ...
A. 19 March 2008: I'm sorry, but this sounds bad. I suppose she could have texted you back something like "Yep, I want to get to know you too. Can we meet, say, next (day of the week)?" She didn't do that; instead, she dismissed what you said, and said you would ... (read in full...)
Want to have sex, but worried about how I'll look with no clothes on!
Q. hiya, well i'm 14 and i have this most amazing boyfriend, i love him to bits. The thing is we muck about talking about sex and stuff and i no he actually does want to have sex with me as he has told me and he keeps hinting it. I also think i want t...
A. 19 March 2008: Dear poster, I think I will be the elephant in the glassware store. I hope this will help you. It's only my point of view.
First, I would like to support all the other aunts, uncles, cousins and whatevers, at least (without limiting myself) ... (read in full...)
The silent type...
Q. I'm a very quiet person. I love knowledge and music but I have a terrible time meeting others and leading a conversation with women. It seems to only be this way until I get to know someone but it is incredibly difficult for me to get to that point! ...
A. 19 March 2008: Mm, let's see. I think it's safe to assume that you do want to get into a female's pants. At least I did when I was your age (and I still do). Wanting to get into a female's pants comes with those three little birds you got when you were born. I ... (read in full...)
Parental Rights
Q. Hello All. Thanks for reading and resonding to my question! :) Here it goes! My girlfriend and I have broken up, and she's 4 months pregnant... with my baby. We were talking about names the other day, and I want to have both last names and she ...
A. 19 March 2008: Of course you're not being selfish in wanting to give the baby your last name. Again, that rings a bell with me. Do you have an idea how many Hispanic women would like to find a man like you, who is NOT married to them and wants to give the baby ... (read in full...)
Parental Rights
Q. Hello All. Thanks for reading and resonding to my question! :) Here it goes! My girlfriend and I have broken up, and she's 4 months pregnant... with my baby. We were talking about names the other day, and I want to have both last names and she ...
A. 19 March 2008: I find this post interesting because Hispanics, like me, have two surnames all the time :-). Like you, we go by the father's surname, and the usual problem is that the father doesn't want his surname to be the baby's, as that brings legal ... (read in full...)
Keep the baby for me or abortion to make him happy?
Q. I'm a 23 year old female and I am pregnant. Doesn't seem like a big deal but the guy that I'm pregnant by doesn't want me to have to baby because he says we should wait and because he's not ready. He has tried EVERYTHING to make me have a abortion: ...
A. 18 March 2008: It is absolutely clear that you want to keep the baby. You're not asking whether you should have an abortion; your question is how to convince him not to want one. Well, if you want to have the baby, there's nothing he can do, other than run away ... (read in full...)
Case of the "X"
Q. I have been seeing this guy I work with for about 6 months. I have never been invited over to the new house he stays at but have been to his old spot. He says that I can't come over because we work together and for work purposes, I shouldn't know ...
A. 18 March 2008: Of course he's lying. And he sucks at it.... (read in full...)
I doubt anyone has ever been in such a situation with his girlfriend
Q. Before everyone begins with the "nah bro, dump her dump her" stuff, read it completely, and put yourself in my situation, and atleast TRY to understand how I feel. I'm with a girl right now, and quite frankly, she is amazing. Whether we're talking ...
A. 18 March 2008: I admire Jmo for telling it like it is. But I'm more with Miss C's great post, for a simple reason: it does seem like you're trying to convince us that she won't cheat again. We know, but Jmo has reminded us that, though it is possible, it isn't ... (read in full...)
The meaning of a Woman's Silence
Q. There is this girl who often flirted with me which I have recently grown to like. We corresponded on several occasions, but have never dated. Our conversations were always light and funny. We always complimented one another. Naturally, she is ...
A. 18 March 2008: Yes, there is. Most probably she doesn't like you the way you like her. Maybe she was flirting, but didn't want to make it serious. I guess that, if she had wanted anything serious, she would have gone beyond the flirting. Or she would have told ... (read in full...)
He doesn't 'return the favour' in oral... what could I do about that, without telling him specifically?
Q. Ive just started sleeping with my bf he's amazing and we're so close it's amazing and the sex is great, any way i went down on him the other night and he omg he loved it....last night he hinted that he wanted me to do it again which i did happil...
A. 18 March 2008: I agree with Collaroy and Mandy 7. Just tell him that you want oral, too. I believe frank and open communication is always best, even if it seems blunt at first.... (read in full...)
I think she is worth driving 12 hours to see, but she doesn't believe me.
Q. I'm 17 and my girlfriend (16) has moved interstate. I've just gotten my provisional license. The only time I can see her at the moment is during her school holidays when she returns to my town. That means that there is about a 3 month gap between ...
A. 18 March 2008: Uncle Phil, I understand what you mean. And I think you and I would let the hormones rage again...... (read in full...)
Do we even need the boyfriend/girlfriend label?
Q. So I have been talking with this guy for almost 2 months now. We started by being friends for a couple of years (we were both in other relationships). When those relationships ended, it came out that we had feelings for each other. We decided to ...
A. 18 March 2008: Great answer, Yos. I just would add that he might also be unsure about what the poster wants from the relationship. He is the one doing the chasing, and he was the one who actually made the question "or maybe we are more than friends?"... (read in full...)
How to attract males when overweight and unattractive?
Q. I am a 21 year old female who is very overweight and unattractive. I am attempting to tackle my weight issue, but it is going slowly. No men ever show any interest in me, while my other friends are constantly getting male attention or are in...
A. 18 March 2008: I like everyone's advice, but particularly that by good Uncle Phil. He's so, so right. I may add that, advertising nothwithstanding, we love curves. And I also wonder what your definition of "very overweight" is, and whether your definition of ... (read in full...)
I think she is worth driving 12 hours to see, but she doesn't believe me.
Q. I'm 17 and my girlfriend (16) has moved interstate. I've just gotten my provisional license. The only time I can see her at the moment is during her school holidays when she returns to my town. That means that there is about a 3 month gap between ...
A. 18 March 2008: I think the best way to prove her that she is well worth the 12 hour drive is to do it. Show up in the place where she is living now, after driving 12 hours. I guess that should boost her self-esteem quite a lot. You know what? It also shows a ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 18 March 2008: All right, poster. Just change your number, be polite to her, and don't think more about the subject. If you make it easy for her to see that you're not interested, she will stop.... (read in full...)
Should I break it off or break it up?
Q. Here is the background. I married the wrong man for the wrong reasons... I found someone else who was the person I had wanted to be with. Him and I started a relationship in June of 07 and ended in Oct 07 with him going back to his wife. He would...
A. 18 March 2008: It seems your divorce will be for the better, for everyone. Once you get this sorted out, you can sort out the rest of the issues.
I think you need to do a lot of soul-searching. Think about yourself and what you want. If you want to find hap... (read in full...)
Is it her choice to be able to keep the baby or her mom's?
Q. I'm 18 and my girlfriend is 16 her mother let me live in their household and she knew we were having sex... some issues happened and I moved out. Also her mother will not let us see each other anymore.... and we love each other.... but the real ...
A. 18 March 2008: Morally, the choice is undeniably your girl's, as it is her own child she is expecting. Legally, I don't know, as I don't live in the US. In practice, however, the mother will have a lot of influence on what happens. I don't know if the mother's ... (read in full...)
What does a break really mean?
Q. I have been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years. The relationship was going down hill due to us arguing all the time about stupid things. Two weeks ago she said she wanted a break. She told me she wants to do her own thing and concertrate on ...
A. 18 March 2008: I'm with Paladin, and I quote him: "sorry, but it's over. The longer you dwell on it the harder it will be for you to face. Clearly you still care about her but she doesn't feel the same. All that stuff about friends was her just being cordial and ... (read in full...)
How bad of an age gap is this? We met on Hot or Not.
Q. Hi, Not too long ago i met a guy on 'hotornot' he was gorgeous so left a message telling him so. i was quite shocked to find out he was living in england, and this is a world wide website. Even more scarier was that he lived in the same county....
A. 17 March 2008: I understand that there is a law on age differences. I don't know where you live, so I can't say anything but mentioning this fact.
See beyond the illegal, however. Think whether you are in the same stage of life. Eight years is not a huge age... (read in full...)
I had an abortion because I thought we'd get back together but I haven't heard from him since then!
Q. hey pls pls help i had an abortion 4weeks ago and im starting to reget it so much, i had just split up from my ex when i found out and didnt know what to do. part of me wanted the baby but then part of me didnt when i told my ex he said he didnt ...
A. 17 March 2008: Well, if he's 27, I think an even worse opinion of him.
And I still think you have a lot to live for, like yourself. Don't let him destroy you. You're young and pretty and you'll have someone who will love you for who you are.... (read in full...)
Does anyone else have a weird looking vagina???
Q. I am sure that this has been asked time and time again, but I really worry if my boyfriend is telling the truth about my.... vagina. You see it "sticks out" well the lips do. I tell my boyfriend that I need to get it fixed, but he says it is normal ...
A. 17 March 2008: Oh, I'll partially disagree with good, great, wise Uncle Phil this time.
Yes, it wouldn't be nice if everyone looked the same. Yes, what upsets you is just normal. You are a little insecure that he won't want you, but he's being honest in sayin... (read in full...)
My husband has told me he wants an "open marriage" but I can't do this, please help!
Q. My husband has been cheating with my sister the whole time we have been together and married, it's been awful and one trys to stop but my husband won't let it. He wants both! Now she had a child to him so when I try to get him to want only me he ...
A. 17 March 2008: In my eyes, he's been getting away with unacceptable behavior all these years. He won't stop unless you stop him. I agree with eyeswideopen and Skeez: make him leave.
By the way, your sister is something, and I suppose you should do somethin... (read in full...)
Should I stop this relationship based on sex?
Q. Hi i'm in a new relationship yeah for me! I'ts been a while! but all we have in common is great sex. I know he is only calling me because of this but I don't care cause I like having sex with him . Should I stop this I know it's bad? right?...
A. 17 March 2008: I beg to differ about calling it a relationship. In my humble opinion, you don't have a relationship, but sex together. Whether you will go on with it, or not, that's for you to decide.... (read in full...)
He lies about porn, can I trust him?
Q. I am currently with my bf of 6 months, we're living together already and although 6 months may not seem that long, it's like we've known each other for years. He was my first everything really and have given up allot to be with him properly. I am ...
A. 17 March 2008: Dear peksy, you didn't mention there were problems in bed. That changes things, but I'm not sure how. I would need more information.
However, I can tell you that he wouldn't love you more if you were working in porn. I'm sure he loves you for ... (read in full...)
He lies about porn, can I trust him?
Q. I am currently with my bf of 6 months, we're living together already and although 6 months may not seem that long, it's like we've known each other for years. He was my first everything really and have given up allot to be with him properly. I am ...
A. 17 March 2008: I think red1982 has given you a very good opinion. I would like to talk about your insecurity.
Whether your boyfriend watches porn or not should not make you doubt your own value. It is clear you have a problem giving value to yourself. You wan... (read in full...)
I had an abortion because I thought we'd get back together but I haven't heard from him since then!
Q. hey pls pls help i had an abortion 4weeks ago and im starting to reget it so much, i had just split up from my ex when i found out and didnt know what to do. part of me wanted the baby but then part of me didnt when i told my ex he said he didnt ...
A. 17 March 2008: My dear, I guess that the first part of advice you need has to do with how to make sense of this situation.
Your ex sounds like an awful guy. He had sex with you, and was your boyfriend, but he was only interested in the pleasant part of being wi... (read in full...)
He forced me to give him oral, I froze and acted as demanded... what now?
Q. Is this wrong? I was hanging out with a college hallmate and asking about homework. He kissed and touched me before one night when I was tipsy, but this night he started touching and I said "I don't think this is a good idea." I kept saying that...
A. 17 March 2008: Yes, this is sexual asssault. I'm with Yos, Tisha-1 and all the others. I don't think there should be a need to say it, but this was not your fault: he forced you. I believe that someone should do something for you. It won't be easy to press ... (read in full...)
How bad of an age gap is this? We met on Hot or Not.
Q. Hi, Not too long ago i met a guy on 'hotornot' he was gorgeous so left a message telling him so. i was quite shocked to find out he was living in england, and this is a world wide website. Even more scarier was that he lived in the same county....
A. 17 March 2008: I have a different opinion. A friend of mine was involved with a woman nine years older, but they were both adults, legally and otherwise. Here, you have an adult who is dating a teen-ager. That is illegal, for starters. But let's leave ... (read in full...)
My husband has sex with me when I'm asleep....is it rape or "silent sex"?
Q. my husband had sex with me when I was drunk and asleep - I woke up as he pulled out and was climbing off me, cleaning himself up with tissues, I have confronted him and he says he thought I was awake - there is no way he thought I was awake as we ...
A. 17 March 2008: Maybe I can add that some people will consider it rape, some others don't, but it is still wrong, punishable by law or not. It doesn't seem right to me to have sex with a person who can't consent to it.
I find it hard to suggest a course of actio... (read in full...)
Why do I tend to let my guard down in relationships after 6 months or so?
Q. Hey everyone not sure where to start but I'll do my best. I have had 2 relationships in my time now both lasting 2 years. In both relationships the first 6 months were perfect, getting to know the person, flirting, making an effort to look good but ...
A. 16 March 2008: Something is the matter with you. I would recommend you do a lot of soul searching.... (read in full...)
What does the word soulmate connotate to a man?
Q. Recently my new boss called me his soulmate. We have never been intimate, but we spend a lot of time together outside of work. What does the word soulmate connotate to a man? Further, he has never crossed any physical barriers with me. What...
A. 16 March 2008: Thank you for the equation, Ask_oldersister. How does it help the poster?
It seems I upset you. I apologize. If you want to discuss this with me, we can mail each other. By the way, I still feel happy you're on my friend's list.... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't know what to do and I surely don't.... Should I wait and give him time or should I just move on?
Q. I met this guy at a work function about 6 months ago. We got along great from the 1st day. At the end of the week I went back to my home and he went to his (a few hrs away from me). We talked just about every day since online and on the phone ab...
A. 16 March 2008: Amen, Ask Eve. What Eve said is the right advice for everyone: sort your situation out first, and only then think about getting involved with someone. You need to give everyone a clean start. And you need to demand it from the people who get ... (read in full...)
Should I break it off or break it up?
Q. Here is the background. I married the wrong man for the wrong reasons... I found someone else who was the person I had wanted to be with. Him and I started a relationship in June of 07 and ended in Oct 07 with him going back to his wife. He would...
A. 16 March 2008: Tattoed Stacy, if there's more to the story, please let us know. You can click on my nickname if you want to mail me.... (read in full...)
What does the word soulmate connotate to a man?
Q. Recently my new boss called me his soulmate. We have never been intimate, but we spend a lot of time together outside of work. What does the word soulmate connotate to a man? Further, he has never crossed any physical barriers with me. What...
A. 16 March 2008: English is not my mother tongue. So I looked the word up just to make sure I understood what it means. I found that a soulmate is "someone with whom one has a special, almost spiritual connection".
Maybe he does want to have a relation... (read in full...)
Is it possible he doesn't masturbate to the porn on his computer??
Q. I recently found some porn pictures of nude female models in pictures by themselves and a couple of videos of girls undressing on my boyfriend's computer. We have been dating almost 2 years, and from the time I met him he has always told me that ...
A. 16 March 2008: Anonymous poster: You're great. Yeah, we can believe that someone actually reads Playboy. "Playboy worms", should we call 'em?... (read in full...)
I'm sooooooo confused, can anyone tell me why did he do so???
Q. I knew a man he was preparing his divorce papers we were friends at first then after divorce we became more close i loved him soo much he was sooo decent he was trying his best to make me happy then after 4 months he asked to marry me his mother v...
A. 15 March 2008: It is bad that he didn't give an explanation. I suppose he doesn't really have a good one to give. I don't think he decided to break up just because of the incidents with the family; I'm not sure that would be reason enough for that. But I do ... (read in full...)
If I don't get back with him he's threatening to move 263 miles away...
Q. I am 2 months pregnant, I have just left him as he is extremely possesive and paranoid, he now has decided if I don't get back with him he is moving 263 miles away from me and my child, leaving him would mean my baby has no father I am 18 and ...
A. 15 March 2008: I find it awful that a man who made you pregnant and knows you don't have where to go will blackmail you in this manner. It is his child you're expecting, and he's making use of that as a weapon. Blackmail is always hateful, but blackmail with ... (read in full...)
Is it possible he doesn't masturbate to the porn on his computer??
Q. I recently found some porn pictures of nude female models in pictures by themselves and a couple of videos of girls undressing on my boyfriend's computer. We have been dating almost 2 years, and from the time I met him he has always told me that ...
A. 15 March 2008: Good question. I will try to do my best to answer.
It is possible for a man not to masturbate to porn. However, I don't think that is likely. If you will allow me some license in my example, it's like seeing pictures of food but never having t... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 15 March 2008: No matter the differences we may have in opinion, Ask_oldersister always comes up with something interesting. Yep, poster, you're bound to have this kind of problems everywhere, and you need to know how to manage them. My way to manage this is ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: Sorry. I suppose the poster does not mean messages that would be easy to take for only friendly. Everyone receives this sort of e-mail from friends and I'm sure we all know when they are definitely nothing but "friendly talk". My aunt sends me ... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: Oops! I forgot. You don't know what her game is. You don't even know if she's playing a game or if she's seriously interested. But you do know she means trouble.
If she were hinting something, given that she's married and your coworker... (read in full...)
Sexual orientated texts from a married woman
Q. Would you consider it appropriate for a married woman to send text messages that have a sexual theme to a single man? There's a woman at my workplace who I foolishly gave my number to so she could send me, at the time, an innocent media message. Now ...
A. 14 March 2008: There can be something odd about it. Let's build the "decision tree" here.
She might be just being friendly, or she might be flirting. If she's just being friendly, any love interest in her is down to 50%.
She might be flirting with yo... (read in full...)
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