A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend has been cheating on me with a coworker. the coworker emailed me about it and told me so. i asked her and she denied it saying that she and the coworker didnt get along so the email was the coworkers way of fucking with her life. i emailed the coworker back and he said that he had naked pictures of her so i asked him to email them to me for proof. he hasnt replied yet. i told my girlfriend about the photos and she laughed it off. i dont know who to believe. weve been going out for 5 years now and weve never had this problem before. the only problem we have had is her porn problem (she watches a lot of porn). and now i dont know whether to stay or go or what. what would you do???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2008): I think your girlfriend is telling the truth for what that is worth. I have worked with people who would do that sort of thing.
A
male
reader, Paladin  +, writes (15 March 2008):
 You have been with her 5 years and all of sudden you don't trust her, thats a big issue right there. Just because you got an email from a jerk shouldn't mean he is telling the truth. Think about it, what kind of disgusting moron would send you an email like that even if it was true. To me a person who would send an email like that is a devious and troubled individual and I certainly wouldn't place his words over someone I have been with for 5 years.
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A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (14 March 2008):
 I could be wrong, (cos she could be putting on a facade and really be cheating), but it seems to me like she is not. Talk to her more, and just wait for his proof. If it never shows up, he's just an ass.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (14 March 2008):
 Is this something new or what? Obviously she has some issues with porn that you don't approve of. If you accepted it in the beginning, you can't very well ask her to stop now, can you?The issue of having a relationship that is over the top with her coworker tends to make me think HE knows about her liking porn...i.e. mentioning pictures and all. I think you two have a lot of talking out to do before I'd go on with this relationship. Answers you NEED.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2008): Is there anything else that makes you think she might be messing around?
The most obvious clue is if she cheated on her past boyfriend to be with you. Does she have a history of cheating?
So far all you got is someone's else email, there might be plenty of reasons for this guy to be lying.
That said, her behaviour is a bit odd, if I was accused of having an affair and the existence of nude pictures I wouldn't laugh it off, I would be upset about my partner not trusting me and demand justice from the person accusing me.
You seem pretty convinced that she has done it, so were there other signs? You ask, but in your first sentence you find her guilty, but with no proof.
Remember that if the co-worker is lying you are screwing up your relationship for nothing. Proceed very carefully, people don't like to be called liars, especially a loved one.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (14 March 2008):
 She could be sleeping with someone, or not. It's also possible that she used to sleep with that coworker, dumped him, and now the coworker is taking revenge. I find it curious that he suddenly thought about you and decided to "disclose" the thing. On the other hand, it can happen, yes, but I'm not sure how likely it is that people will make up an affair just to hurt a coworker. But, you don't have anything solid here.
Which is the worst that can happen. Now you have reasons to suspect her. Don't get paranoid, but keep an eye open.
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A
female
reader, nessaboo +, writes (14 March 2008):
Well if he is trying to f*** with her life it's working cuz he's gots you going crazy. I would say just to believe it but if the guy says he has proof and he sends it to you then you obviously know it's true right?? So then the choice of staying with her or leaving her would be made or rather or not, you can still be with her which you shouldn't but that's your choice. Now in the beginning you shouldn't have told her that he was emailing you because now that you told her she could have went back to him and stopped him from ever really sending you any real proof. If she really is so for you to catch her up like that it would have been better to keep it to yourself till you got real evidence. If he doesn't send you anything else then really you have nothing to go on but your trust with her because someone emailing you isn't really nothing, you don't want to ruin something special for something that could be nothing but keep your eyes open, if anything do you know anyone else that works with her that you know wouldn't go back to her and tell her that you are asking about her and see if they will tell you anything. If you find out she is then she aint worth it, no one deserves to be cheated on.
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A
female
reader, sexcbex  +, writes (14 March 2008):
 well i would give her the chance to explain as this seems like a silly work joke. if you have been together for 5 years then doesnt that tell you she is happy with you ? try sitting down and talking to her about it and maybe you might get somewhere dont give yourself agro over it as it will make it worse. trust me i have a paranoid partner that i have been wih for nearly 2 years he always thinks i am cheating but in the end i tell him why do i need to cheat all i have to do is say it's over then i can do what i want i am with you for a reason......... beacuse i love you.i hope this helps !!
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