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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Am I alone in feeling jealous and insecure because my man is handsome and charming?
Q. I apologize for the long rant. I'm overwhelmed right now with feelings of insecurity and jealousy. My boyfriend of 1 year is a very charming man with good looks and great sense of humor. He is flirtatious, he is very out going and meets new girls ...
A. 28 March 2008: I would like to add a little opinion here, which, I hope, you will find useful in this particular problem and in all problems related to men. No matter what, never drop hints. We never get them. Communication is essential for any relationship, ... (read in full...)
Why am I attracted to men who are sooo different to me, and not attracted to men who share my values?
Q. I dont get myself. I always go out with and are attracted to guys who end up treating me badly or who are sooo different to me that we just dont work together. But when a guy come along who is very similar I just dont like him more then a friend. ...
A. 28 March 2008: It is well known that young women don't fall for "nice guys". The right source for this is... nice guys, because they are the ones who get dumped or rejected all the time.
In an illuminating post by a bloodily awesome aunt in this site, I ... (read in full...)
Currently in a long distance relationship, but I find myself asking other women out, is there cause for concern?
Q. Hello, I've been in a relationship for 4 years now. We're currently apart (since last August) because of work reasons. Since being apart I have been looking at other women having the urge to ask them out on dates. In some cases I have asked. I...
A. 28 March 2008: I do see a reason for concern here, but not for you. Your girlfriend should be very concerned, because you're being unfaithful.
Why do you feel inclined to ask someone else out? Will your girlfriend stay away for long? How is your relation... (read in full...)
My girlfriend created a "secret profile" on myspace! Can I trust her?
Q. hi everybody, i have a long distance relationship since 2 years. i discover recently that my girlfriend (23 years old) have created secretly a profile in my space, where she claims to be single. i asked her if she was hidding something from m...
A. 28 March 2008: Well, one year and a half is not the end of the world, I guess, particularly because it is she who is studying. But I would try the technology thing. The friends I mentioned stayed in what I would call "perpetual" contact. I guess that most ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend created a "secret profile" on myspace! Can I trust her?
Q. hi everybody, i have a long distance relationship since 2 years. i discover recently that my girlfriend (23 years old) have created secretly a profile in my space, where she claims to be single. i asked her if she was hidding something from m...
A. 28 March 2008: Tisha-1, you did just great. Your advice was sensible and you tried to convey it in the language the poster would understand better. That is commendable. And I like your interest in our language (I mean, the poster's and mine). You may not speak ... (read in full...)
Am I alone in feeling jealous and insecure because my man is handsome and charming?
Q. I apologize for the long rant. I'm overwhelmed right now with feelings of insecurity and jealousy. My boyfriend of 1 year is a very charming man with good looks and great sense of humor. He is flirtatious, he is very out going and meets new girls ...
A. 28 March 2008: If he's "charming, with great looks and a great sense of humor", you can bet that he will stay that way for long. You can count on other women feeling attracted to him, just as you were. Even if he were an angry man, he would still be interesting ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend created a "secret profile" on myspace! Can I trust her?
Q. hi everybody, i have a long distance relationship since 2 years. i discover recently that my girlfriend (23 years old) have created secretly a profile in my space, where she claims to be single. i asked her if she was hidding something from m...
A. 28 March 2008: Well, it seems like you already know much better than I do.
Long-distance relationships are very demanding, and very rewarding, too. They're demanding because the other person isn't there all the time. No kisses, no hugs, and a huge uncertai... (read in full...)
My girlfriend created a "secret profile" on myspace! Can I trust her?
Q. hi everybody, i have a long distance relationship since 2 years. i discover recently that my girlfriend (23 years old) have created secretly a profile in my space, where she claims to be single. i asked her if she was hidding something from m...
A. 28 March 2008: First I need to say that I'm not familiar with Myspace either. I gave up on that sort of things long ago, because they are very time consuming. However, I checked the site, to see whether it could help me understand your post, and to check a ... (read in full...)
I'm dying and having religous/spiritual questions, any insight?
Q. Hello everyone, I am dying. At times I feel have made my peace and am ready to face it whenever it does eventually come, other times I feel sort of scared. You see I was brought up Catholic as a child but as an adult I lived my life being an at...
A. 28 March 2008: Poster, I wonder if any of us who is not facing death as certainly as you are can really relate to what you are feeling. I was raised as a Catholic myself, and I used to be a fervent one. Then I had the same doubts which you had. And sometimes I ... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in being a mother. Do all men wish to have kids nowadays?
Q. I'm in my early thirties and never been married and happy about that. Anyways, I might get married someday but I'm still not very interested in having kids. I'm afraid of pregnancy and I think kids are annoying. I've had health issues in the pa...
A. 26 March 2008: Yes, poster: I understood your question. You wanted to know where you stood with respect to men. And I think that we gave you a possible answer. There will be some men out there who will find it just right that you don't want any children. Most ... (read in full...)
I'm a sexy single but I can't find that special someone so should I move to greener pasteurs?
Q. Ive come to the conclusion I am never going to meet anyone special. Im 35 and without being big headed v attractive, fit, with my own home car etc. I was badly hurt 4 years ago and took the time it needed to get over it but Ive been single for ...
A. 26 March 2008: I think Country Woman has it right. You should be sure of what the problem can be before you try moving to another country. If you don't do that, you might end up having the same problem wherever you go.
I also think I perceive some kind of ... (read in full...)
Whenever I criticise his porn viewing he brings up my past and calls me a slut!
Q. I've been with this guy for about 4 years... at least that's how HE puts it. We hung out together for one year, have lived together for the past 3, but in my mind, have been officially a couple for maybe 1. I have always tried to make it perfectly ...
A. 25 March 2008: I think you don't deserve to be called a slut. I also think that it's childish of him to watch porn when you go out. It's his way of "getting even" with you. I also believe that he could manage to hide his internet activity if he wanted to; ... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in being a mother. Do all men wish to have kids nowadays?
Q. I'm in my early thirties and never been married and happy about that. Anyways, I might get married someday but I'm still not very interested in having kids. I'm afraid of pregnancy and I think kids are annoying. I've had health issues in the pa...
A. 25 March 2008: Oh, and by the way, the poster has not complained about my post. What she said was, and I quote,
"I just want to know how interested in having kids are men in general. My question is: Do all men wish to have kids nowadays?"... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in being a mother. Do all men wish to have kids nowadays?
Q. I'm in my early thirties and never been married and happy about that. Anyways, I might get married someday but I'm still not very interested in having kids. I'm afraid of pregnancy and I think kids are annoying. I've had health issues in the pa...
A. 25 March 2008: Well, I respect other people's points of view. Yes, there are people out there who live happily without children. However, I thought the poster would appreciate other points of view, as well, not only those that go in line with hers.
I understa... (read in full...)
My ex told he he hated me and that his new partner is miles better. Why does he behave so and how should I react?
Q. Hey everyone i just would like your opinions on a situation. I'll give a bit of background info.. Me and my ex split up in june last year it was a real bad break up and i thought it was all my fault as id slept with someone whist we had split up...
A. 25 March 2008: I agree with all three aunts. I have to add that his comment about his new girlfriend being "miles" better than you means nothing. One person finds you bad and another will find you unbearably good. It's just a matter of personal likes and ... (read in full...)
I feel like I give him sex to swap help from him... please advise.
Q. I've just divorced my husband of 20 years and met this Englishman 18 years my senior and Im not from England. Im 45. He is trying to help to get my life on track. He has sex with me whenever he sees me. I never say no because I would be totally ...
A. 25 March 2008: I agree with you, poster: you're giving him sex in exchange for help, and that just shouldn't be.
First, I think that your divorce, in a foreign country, has left you vulnerable. You don't tell where you're from, but it seems clear to me that ... (read in full...)
When you get your "cherry popped" is there a lot of blood?
Q. i am 13 and i didnt get my first period yet, but i want to have sex so when my cherry pops will alot of blood come out because i didnt have my first period yet?...
A. 25 March 2008: Some girls don't bleed, and some others bleed a little more. But it's nothing to worry about.
I think it would be best for you if you didn't have any sex for the time being. You're too young to really deal with it. It won't do you any good at ... (read in full...)
Can you help me understand why she had sex during our 'time out' period..?
Q. Hello Here's my story. 2 years ago, my best friends sister asks me out. She is a year and a half older than I am. We begin dating and things are perfect. She has many close friends which are guys. There is one certain guy who she would hardly han...
A. 25 March 2008: I understand that you dont' want a post that will simply tell you what do to but won't help you with your distress. However, I think you do need to be told that the past is in the past, and that you can either get over it or leave.
Perso... (read in full...)
Is a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy?
Q. My wife and I were having one of our weird philosophical discussions about sex and this question came up. Do men and/or women consider a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy? Let me try to explain this question. For the woman, is there ...
A. 25 March 2008: Your opinion counts, Jess.... (read in full...)
He begs me for blowjobs but never returns the pleasure...what should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months, our sex is always the same, it just consists of me giving him head then he fingers me then we have sex. The problem is im not ever having an orgasm and its getting me down, i know i orgasm when i a ...
A. 25 March 2008: Lazy Guy, you bad guy, now I JUST DON'T WANT THAT HERSHEY BAR!... (read in full...)
He wants a 1 month break and said he'd stay in touch but hasn't in 2 weeks... what's going on?
Q. My boyfriend of ten months recently told me he doesn't know if he wants to be in a relationship. He has a health condition that seriously impacts his life and will always. he is 10 years older than I am and also says he has baggage from past ...
A. 25 March 2008: Dear poster, I'll be damned if I can't relate to your update. Yes, you gave him many options to speak his mind, and he always said he would tell you if something were the matter. You would have behaved just right if you had been spoken with the ... (read in full...)
She always seems to be 'busy' but should I push harder for a date?
Q. I met this girl in College and fell head over heels. We've been trying to go for a date for almost 3 months now but she keeps saying I'm really busy but we will have to find a day. I didn't want to come off desperate so I haven't pushed it very ...
A. 25 March 2008: No, I think you should be much less persistent, as in "never asking her for a date again". Her interest level is very low. If it were high, SHE would ask you for a date, or at least she wouldn't give you good old "I'm busy". She might be stringing ... (read in full...)
She said she wanted to go on a date with me, but she keeps blowing me off
Q. My Question revolves around the meaning of the word date. I recently asked a girl on a date and she agreed very easily even sounding excited. The problem is she keeps blowing off the date saying that she is too busy but we should try for another ...
A. 25 March 2008: This happened to me once. I went through the exact same things you're going through, but there was no Dear Cupid (no internet, mind you) back then. I also thought she didn't get that I was after her. The truth is she was aware of that very long ... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in being a mother. Do all men wish to have kids nowadays?
Q. I'm in my early thirties and never been married and happy about that. Anyways, I might get married someday but I'm still not very interested in having kids. I'm afraid of pregnancy and I think kids are annoying. I've had health issues in the pa...
A. 25 March 2008: No, not all men want kids nowadays. But a substantial number do, and so I would recommend you to speak very clearly and firmly about this with any man you get involved with. Be very direct and let him know that you won't change your mind. You ... (read in full...)
If anyone could give me some insight to the inner workings of guys' minds, it'd be helpful!
Q. Ever since I was in highschool, I've always been in longterm, monogomous relationships. But after my last relationship ended a few months ago, I decided that I didn't want to deal with all of the drama and heartache that boyfriends come with for a ...
A. 24 March 2008: I agree again with Ask_Oldersister. If this isn't your first casual sex experience, what's the problem? You know what to expect.
Otherwise, I think that it's clear that "just sex" isn't for you. All the more reason, then, to ask the man wher... (read in full...)
He wants a 1 month break and said he'd stay in touch but hasn't in 2 weeks... what's going on?
Q. My boyfriend of ten months recently told me he doesn't know if he wants to be in a relationship. He has a health condition that seriously impacts his life and will always. he is 10 years older than I am and also says he has baggage from past ...
A. 24 March 2008: I agree with the Sis, for the most part. I believe that he just thinks you two don't make a good couple. Like he said, it's nothing you have said or done.
He used this vague language because he thought that would soften the blow of the break-up... (read in full...)
Do you think he could be gay?
Q. I have been seeing a great guy for a year now and absoloutely love him to death, however, sex has never gotten off the ground, we have obviously tried it a lot but either it is over and one with before its begun or it just doesnt happen. We get on ...
A. 24 March 2008: Sorry, poster, but we can't help you if you're vague. Maybe you can make use of private messages if you think that's better?... (read in full...)
If anyone could give me some insight to the inner workings of guys' minds, it'd be helpful!
Q. Ever since I was in highschool, I've always been in longterm, monogomous relationships. But after my last relationship ended a few months ago, I decided that I didn't want to deal with all of the drama and heartache that boyfriends come with for a ...
A. 24 March 2008: I agree with Lazy Guy and Ask_oldersister. He seems to be enjoying the "no strings attached" thing. If you want to know where you stand, you have to take a chance of losing him and asking. And I also agree that what you really want is a ... (read in full...)
Do you think he could be gay?
Q. I have been seeing a great guy for a year now and absoloutely love him to death, however, sex has never gotten off the ground, we have obviously tried it a lot but either it is over and one with before its begun or it just doesnt happen. We get on ...
A. 24 March 2008: I'm not sure I get this one right. It still might be that he just wants to be your friend, and that doesn't make anyone gay.
However, if what you mean here is that he sort of wants you to play the role of a girlfriend but without the sex, per... (read in full...)
What do I do If I love my girlfriend, but don't like to be seen with her?
Q. I have been going out with my girl friend for sometime but the problem is that I love her alot but when I'm around other people I don't like to hold her hand, hug her or anything. I just don't like to be seen with her, although she is beautifu...
A. 24 March 2008: Since I'm Mexican and I think in Spanish, I think I get what the poster, another Mexican, probably another thinker in Spanish :-) really meant. I guess that a right rendition of what he feels, though certainly not a literal one, is that he feels ... (read in full...)
I have been single for three years as I am very anti-men. Is anybody else going through the same??
Q. hi, Hope you can help because i havent got a clue. I've been sinlge for the last three years and its all down to me. I get asked out on dates a lot but im just not interested; it feels like i hate men when i was speaking to my mom about she sa...
A. 24 March 2008: Good post by eyeswideopen. I also think you're afraid of failing again. I think you're picky because you want to find the man without defects, and I'm afraid there isn't any.
In this site we hear a lot of awful stories. We never get to hear any... (read in full...)
How long am I to wait for him to make up his mind about living together? We're from different countries.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and we were moving in together (he lives in a different country). Last week he send me an email telling me that he was scared and not sure about the step that we were going to take, we decided to postpone the ...
A. 24 March 2008: Well, if YOU are the one moving, I have a very different opinion. I'm sorry, but I think you need to be ready for a break-up. I think this IS a breakup in disguise. First he tells you to go there, and now he says he needs to think about it? You ... (read in full...)
My pregnant girlfriend has cheated on me, and I am in love with her mate. Who do I choose...?
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for 3years now but have fallen in love with her best mate. My girlfriend has always had a bad reputation but i gave her a chance. I have been seeing her mate behind her back for about 9 months now and really like her. ...
A. 24 March 2008: I will be a little cynic here. I suspect you didn't give your girlfriend "a chance" despite her bad reputation. Maybe her "bad reputation" was what gave you a chance.
But I think other people have already mentioned the flaws that each one of y... (read in full...)
Do you think he could be gay?
Q. I have been seeing a great guy for a year now and absoloutely love him to death, however, sex has never gotten off the ground, we have obviously tried it a lot but either it is over and one with before its begun or it just doesnt happen. We get on ...
A. 24 March 2008: Dear poster, you have a point: it doesn't take a year to know whether you find someone hot (it usually takes a millisecond). However, Lazy Guy is giving you some options: perhaps he has some ED, or has someone else, or many other possibilities. ... (read in full...)
He begs me for blowjobs but never returns the pleasure...what should I do?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 4 months, our sex is always the same, it just consists of me giving him head then he fingers me then we have sex. The problem is im not ever having an orgasm and its getting me down, i know i orgasm when i a ...
A. 24 March 2008: I see two problems here. One is that after only four months sex has become a routine. That is too short a time, I guess. I suppose he's as young and you, and that should make him more willing to "explore different avenues for sexual ... (read in full...)
He wants to use me until he gets tired of my body and get's mad if I don't let him!
Q. I have a friend with benefits for over four years. One day he told me that he will soon get tired of my body. i have been waiting for him to get tired of my body for the last three years but he just keeps coming back for more. I am tired of him but ...
A. 24 March 2008: Missing Ma Baby,
It is sad that a young woman like yourself thinks that no one can ever love her. That is simply not true. Your father was a bad man, but that doesn't mean every man will be like that. And I see you need a lot of affectio... (read in full...)
How long am I to wait for him to make up his mind about living together? We're from different countries.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and we were moving in together (he lives in a different country). Last week he send me an email telling me that he was scared and not sure about the step that we were going to take, we decided to postpone the ...
A. 24 March 2008: I think you should at least think what you would do in case of a break-up, and you should be emotionally prepared for it.
Five months could be too short a time to make a decision to move in with someone, particularly if that means moving to anoth... (read in full...)
We both cheated but he impregnated another woman and must take fatherly responsibility, where does this leave us, should I marry him??
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for the past four years now. We used to live together in Colorado but had some relationship issues and I moved home to be with my family in Maryland. We have actually managed a decent relationship and fly to see ...
A. 24 March 2008: In this kind of situation,
a) the man must father the child. I don't mean just be the biological father; I mean father in the sense of being involved in his life forever, paying for his expenses, caring after the baby when sick, and a long lis... (read in full...)
Do you think he could be gay?
Q. I have been seeing a great guy for a year now and absoloutely love him to death, however, sex has never gotten off the ground, we have obviously tried it a lot but either it is over and one with before its begun or it just doesnt happen. We get on ...
A. 24 March 2008: I think it's just that he is not into you.... (read in full...)
My husband wants a divorce and for us to go back to dating each other....
Q. This is long...I have been married to my second husband for 3 years. Together a total of 5 years. He has never been married before. I have two teenagers from my previous marriage, they were 7 and 9 when we got together. About 4 months ago, I mo...
A. 24 March 2008: Sueb69, it seems that your husband wants a divorce and nothing else.
Don't pay that much of attention to the words, but to the general direction he is moving in. You're not living together anymore, he doesn't want to be responsible for your exp... (read in full...)
He wants to use me until he gets tired of my body and get's mad if I don't let him!
Q. I have a friend with benefits for over four years. One day he told me that he will soon get tired of my body. i have been waiting for him to get tired of my body for the last three years but he just keeps coming back for more. I am tired of him but ...
A. 24 March 2008: Missin Ma Baby, I think I detect something wrong here.
1) He tells you that he will keep coming "until he gets tired of your body"
2) You say you've been waiting for that to happen, and you openly say you're tired of him.
3) Yet you also... (read in full...)
Is a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy?
Q. My wife and I were having one of our weird philosophical discussions about sex and this question came up. Do men and/or women consider a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy? Let me try to explain this question. For the woman, is there ...
A. 23 March 2008: No problem, Troubled. This site is a great help for everyone, including the aunts, uncles, grand daddies and whatevers. The good think is to keep your mind and your heart moving, and to always want to know more and better. I commend you on this ... (read in full...)
Is a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy?
Q. My wife and I were having one of our weird philosophical discussions about sex and this question came up. Do men and/or women consider a condom a psychological barrier to intimacy? Let me try to explain this question. For the woman, is there ...
A. 23 March 2008: I think this issue can be viewed from many different angles.
We have Emmy Lou's and Tisha-1's opinion, that, in the end, sex with a condom is no different for them. Both say, however, that they do see a difference in men, in the sense that we ... (read in full...)
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