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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Am I the only one that has breasts like this? It makes me insecure!
Q. I have a question. I am insecure about my breasts. I have large breasts which men love, but the colored part around my nipple seems realy big to me compared to other breasts i've seen. Does it matter. Do men prefer one or the other? Am I the only ...
A. 5 May 2008: Boobs are boobs, yes, but that is a hell of a lot :-).... (read in full...)
Do you think he wants a relationship with me or not?
Q. I've been in a relationship with this man for 10 months. We have similar marital histories so there was a lot of understanding between us. He has never said he loved me though I believe he has strong feelings for me. He would mention our old age. we ...
A. 4 May 2008: Either he isn't sure of having a relationship with you, or he knows what he wants but is aware it's not what you want. Like adinl said, don't call him again. Not because we love the chase (if the prey is too difficult, we settle for another) but ... (read in full...)
What are the signs your husband is cheating with a coworker?
Q. what signs should I be looking for, I think that my husband is cheating on me with his co-worker while being away on business. I have no solid evidence but something in my stomach says it. how do i go about knowing if i am right or wrong?...
A. 4 May 2008: If you give us a list of things you've noticed, then perhaps we could give you a better opinion.... (read in full...)
Am I the only one that has breasts like this? It makes me insecure!
Q. I have a question. I am insecure about my breasts. I have large breasts which men love, but the colored part around my nipple seems realy big to me compared to other breasts i've seen. Does it matter. Do men prefer one or the other? Am I the only ...
A. 4 May 2008: You're not the only one with areolas like that.
Some of us like big areolas (I had a friend who had a thing for them), some of us like them smaller, and some of us like them all the time, whatever their size.
Don't worry.... (read in full...)
Are his porn mags more important to him than me? Is this normal? What can I do?
Q. I wanted to know if it is normal for your bf to masterbate to porn mag.'s rather than have sex with me? I always want sex, and he knows it, he looks at porn mag.'s while and after work.He always makes sexual advances when i’m sleeping. I feel li...
A. 4 May 2008: It's true: it's not you. It's him wanting to live in The Unreal World.
When he has the "urge" to have sex, he checks the magazine. Yeah, right. In your description of your problems, you said that sometimes, after sex, he goes to his magazine... (read in full...)
Is her love just a lie?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 4 years I have never loved anyone more. When we first saw each other it was an instant attraction, something you would read about in a fantasy. She was already in a relationship with someone and had a child wi...
A. 4 May 2008: I am pretty sure you should let her go her own way.
I had never heard an excuse such as "I slept with your friend because I thought I was losing you and wanted to hold onto a "part" of you". Yeah, right. To remember ME, she would grab THAT PAR... (read in full...)
What should I do about this girl in church? I think she may have a boyfriend.
Q. okay, iv'e met this really pretty cuban girl about 2 months ago while we were preaching. Her cousin and her kept whispering and looking at me and well im not sure but i think she likes me, but im stressing out cause i can't figure her out. In ...
A. 4 May 2008: If you're sure she has a boyfriend, I would say no, don't ask her. If you don't know whether she has one, GO FOR HER!... (read in full...)
Are his porn mags more important to him than me? Is this normal? What can I do?
Q. I wanted to know if it is normal for your bf to masterbate to porn mag.'s rather than have sex with me? I always want sex, and he knows it, he looks at porn mag.'s while and after work.He always makes sexual advances when i’m sleeping. I feel li...
A. 4 May 2008: First, one clarification: When I spoke about a certain behavior not being "unusual" anymore, I didn't mean looking at porn. Come on, most everyone has watched porn. What I meant was that only too often we find a post by a woman whose heart is ... (read in full...)
Are his porn mags more important to him than me? Is this normal? What can I do?
Q. I wanted to know if it is normal for your bf to masterbate to porn mag.'s rather than have sex with me? I always want sex, and he knows it, he looks at porn mag.'s while and after work.He always makes sexual advances when i’m sleeping. I feel li...
A. 4 May 2008: "Normal" is difficult to define. He does have an uncaring behavior. I was going to write "unusual", too, but apparently it's not unusual anymore.
I can't understand it, either. You have the flesh and blood woman by your side and you go to a mag... (read in full...)
Is eating cheating? As in having a sexual encounter with a another female.
Q. Okay one quick question. If you are a married woman, and you have sexual relations with another woman is it cheating?...
A. 4 May 2008: Amen, Irish.... (read in full...)
We had cybersex, but now I don't understand what he is really trying to tell me
Q. This guy and I started chatting a few months ago.... and had cybersex. We met a month later and got on really well. That was 2 months ago and I haven't seen him for a month. When I last saw him we got intimate, and then I went on holiday for two ...
A. 4 May 2008: Dear poster, what he is saying is exactly what he said: he can give you friendship with no commitment, not a long term relationship. That means that he would be willing for sex, cyber or not, but nothing else. It's up to you to decide whether ... (read in full...)
I have feelings for an older guy, but my family might be a problem
Q. Hello, I really need your help. Right, here goes. . . I'm a 19 year old girl and I live in a small, close-knit village in South Wales (basically everyone knows everyone and everyones business.) For a while now I've been having feelings for a gu...
A. 4 May 2008: I don't know how much is "a lot older". For some people, three years mean "a lot". For others, twenty years mean nothing.
But let's not worry about this. The fact is that there's a difference between you two. In my opinion, the big differen... (read in full...)
How can I stop "Mr Perfect" from trying to force me to have sex?
Q. Everyone thinks my bf is perfect! He portrays this Mr Nice Guy act but Im not too sure how REAL that image is. His family think hes a perfect catholic boy who treats women with respect. My family think the same. And my friends, they think hes the ...
A. 4 May 2008: Well, for starters, he's not the perfect Catholic guy. If he were, he wouldn't want to force a girl for sex, wouldn't put up a facade, and, last time I checked, the Church frowned on pre-marital sex. And it also frowns in hypocrisy. I do believe ... (read in full...)
It was special for her, but are there other methods to ensure she has an orgasm?
Q. some educated answers would be great here!! I'm with a women with whom I make love with, literally for hours!!! Its great. The other day she had an orgasm through penetration, and I was shocked to learn that that was only the second time that had...
A. 4 May 2008: There have been many articles on this topic here in Dear Cupid. I think you can search for them. I guess that the general lines are as follows
1) your willingness to try to please her
2) openness to discuss what each person likes or dislikes ... (read in full...)
Have decided I would like to have a child-but partner may decide the opposite! Any advice?
Q. I am 35, on the fast slide to 36 and I have decided I would like to have a child. Unfortunately, I am experiencing that common problem of a partner (39) who has decided the opposite. We have a strong, loving relationship. We both share strong e...
A. 4 May 2008: Global warming and overpopulation do exist in the world, but, unless I'm wrong, overpopulation is not a problem in Australia. I guess that if he lived in my region he would use poverty as another excuse, just as people used to blame the Catholic ... (read in full...)
5 years, a 4-year-old daughter, and still he hasn't proposed!
Q. Dear Cupid, My bf and I have been together for just over 5 years. We've lived together since day 1 and have a 4 yr old daughter together. We have a really good relationship and things are going fine. We love each other very much and are bot...
A. 4 May 2008: Dear hopelesslydevoted, with your clarification, the aspect of why you're pregnant without being married is clear. However, I still think that what you need to do is stay in your relationship, even if he won't propose.
I gave you my response... (read in full...)
She has a 6 month old baby from him and he has gone back to England.
Q. Hi all, i really need some help and fast, my sister has fallen for a guy and i know he's a liar and a cheat. She has a 6 month old baby from him and he has gone back to England. He said he wants to get a passport, as he never had one! AND he said...
A. 4 May 2008: Dear poster, I found this link that can help you:
http://www.ips.gov.uk/passport/apply-first.asp
It seems like he indeed needs to be called for an interview.
All the best.... (read in full...)
We are married and neglected by our spouses so we fell in love! What do we do?
Q. Hi Everyone, Please help. I have been married for over 10 yrs. My best friend has been married for 19 yrs. We have just discovered that we are in love with each other. We both have children and spouses who neglect us. We have not slept together...
A. 4 May 2008: This is very difficult. Have you heard that expression, "you can't make an omelette without breaking eggs"?
You would need to have two divorces, and then live together. You would need to think of how the children would be affected. And then... (read in full...)
I'm afraid of trying new sexual positions!
Q. I am afraid to try new sex postions what do i do?...
A. 4 May 2008: Don't give in to fear.... (read in full...)
Is eating cheating? As in having a sexual encounter with a another female.
Q. Okay one quick question. If you are a married woman, and you have sexual relations with another woman is it cheating?...
A. 4 May 2008: I think it is.... (read in full...)
5 years, a 4-year-old daughter, and still he hasn't proposed!
Q. Dear Cupid, My bf and I have been together for just over 5 years. We've lived together since day 1 and have a 4 yr old daughter together. We have a really good relationship and things are going fine. We love each other very much and are bot...
A. 3 May 2008: I can't tell for sure what he has in his mind. But I will tell it as I see it. He doesn't seem to have any problem commiting, as he has had a commited relationship for five years already. There are no problems with you, at least not serious ones, ... (read in full...)
How do I talk with my husband about our terrible sexlife without breaking his proud?
Q. I have a question, I am 24 and my husband is 34, I know that he has passed the age where sex is a must, but I am just barely reaching that age, and my sex life is terrible. It never lasts longer than 10 minutes, what can he do, I refuse to cheat on ...
A. 3 May 2008: Dear poster, I found these links. I think the opinions given here are great. You can do a more thorough search, I guess.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-to-young-men-about-young-women.html
http://www.de... (read in full...)
How do I talk with my husband about our terrible sexlife without breaking his proud?
Q. I have a question, I am 24 and my husband is 34, I know that he has passed the age where sex is a must, but I am just barely reaching that age, and my sex life is terrible. It never lasts longer than 10 minutes, what can he do, I refuse to cheat on ...
A. 3 May 2008: Dear poster, I don't know about ages when sex is "a must", but I am quite sure that most men 34 years old certainly want it, and very often. So, his age isn't the reason why you have this problem.
I saw your other post, and I'm glad I did, as ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to try oral with me? Or should I just live without it?
Q. I am 24 and I have had sexual relations with women in the past, and I love oral sex, but my husband refuses to do it. He is from a country where it isn't as widespread as it is here. How can I get him to try it, or do I live without it....
A. 3 May 2008: Dear, I happen to be a Mexican, too :-). I guessed your husband would be Mexican for the second part of your nickname, which I suppose stands for "Hernández".
It's true that wide areas of Mexico are more traditional. But I'm not sure whether ... (read in full...)
When did everyone stop masturbating? Or do you still do it?
Q. Hi, just for curiosity, when did everyone stop masturbating? Or do you still do it? I am 36 but stopped when i was about 20ish. Also, when did everyone start. Males and females should answer...
A. 3 May 2008: Susan, I loved your answer :-).
I think it´s obvious that people don't have the same "starting age" and then an "ending age" for a sexual practice.... (read in full...)
Are guys put off dating a woman who's a virgin?
Q. This is a question for the guys. I'm in my early twenties and I'm a virgin. I'm saving myself for the right person. Do men prefer experienced women? Are guys put off dating a woman who's a virgin. What are your views please? thanks alot...
A. 3 May 2008: To be honest, some guys wouldn't date you because you're saving yourself for the right person, which means they most likely wouldn't sleep with you. Many others would not mind, thinking that perhaps they are the right guy.
I wouldn't mind dat... (read in full...)
I'm a massage therapist and my married client wants to have sex with me. I don't want to lose my career!
Q. I am a female massage therapist working with a male professional sports team. Players are always flirting with me and recently a married player made sexual advances toward me on a road trip, and I am afraid he will want to have sex next time we are ...
A. 3 May 2008: What this player is doing is the same as extorsion. He knows that being the massage therapist for a team is a big advancement in your career, so he knows you wouldn't want to lose that. He tells you to sleep with him, and doesn't finish the phrase ... (read in full...)
Are these signs he's blatantly flirting?
Q. We met twice a year and a half ago, and since then we've keeping in touch by email. At first he was more like friendly (well we are friends, as nothing else has happened) but in his notes he's called me one of his favorite ladies down here (the guy ...
A. 3 May 2008: Maybe.... (read in full...)
We are in love, but she is a Catholic and I am a Protestant. Should I convert?
Q. Am in love with this lady who loves me back. Trouble is that I really dont know where our relationship is going because she has issues with me being a Protestant yet she is Catholic. Question one: Is it wise for me to convert for the sake of the ...
A. 3 May 2008: It depends on how you look at it. Let's see it as people with a strong commitment with their faith.
She believes in the teachings of the Catholic Church. That is non-negotiable, in a way. If I believe that the moon rotates around the Earth, t... (read in full...)
I feel guilty now for wanting children, when I once said I didn't. How do handle this?
Q. I've been married for 5 years, I'm 27 and our relationship has lasted over eight years. When I was younger I didn't think I'd ever want kids. All of a sudden I can't stop thinking about having a child. My husband doesn't, and I feel guilty for want...
A. 3 May 2008: This is very difficult.
I don't know how old your husband is, or whether he doesn't want children ever, or just for the time being.
I will assume your husband is somewhat older than you, and, also, that he doesn't want children ever. I will do... (read in full...)
What would you do if you gave your mate an STD?
Q. What would you do if you gave your mate an STD? Would you stay with them even if your relationship had many problems - but you do love this person?...
A. 3 May 2008: Don't worry; no one needs to know what disease it is. I do think it's a chronic disease, and then one that affects you little by little, or you would have known before.
Most likely you got this disease from someone else but didn't know when, an... (read in full...)
Is it so weird for a girl to date a guy if he's shorter than her?
Q. I want people's opinion on this. Is it weird to like someone who is shorter than me? I'm a girl, he's boy, we're both 15. Some people think it's weird for a girl to be taller then a guy in a relationship. What do you think? (I may date him soon too...
A. 3 May 2008: I don't think it should matter. I even find it a plus: if you're tall, there's more of you to love.
Though I don't recommend that you do crazy things, I DO recommend that you sometimes not pay attention to what people say.
I understand your ... (read in full...)
I premeturely ejaculate, is this normal for a 16 year old?
Q. Hi, i'm 16 and my penis is about four inches erect, my foreskin never completely covers the head of my penis, an i find i prematurely ejaculate. Is this normal?...
A. 3 May 2008: Here, "this" can have more than one meaning.
Your penis being about four inches erect: yes, normal.
Foreskin never completely covering your glans: yes, normal.
Premature ejaculation at 16: HELL, YEAH!... (read in full...)
What would you do if you gave your mate an STD?
Q. What would you do if you gave your mate an STD? Would you stay with them even if your relationship had many problems - but you do love this person?...
A. 3 May 2008: Ooops! I didn't notice you say "you gave your mate an STD".
It doesn't seem like this is the real question.
What happened? There's a hell of a lot of history behind this information. If you don't want to talk about this in public, can you ... (read in full...)
What would you do if you gave your mate an STD?
Q. What would you do if you gave your mate an STD? Would you stay with them even if your relationship had many problems - but you do love this person?...
A. 3 May 2008: I think it would help if I knew what sort of an STD this is, and how long you've been together.
If it were HPV, then perhaps I would give the girl the benefit of the doubt. HPV can remain like dormant for many years. I could think that maybe sh... (read in full...)
I don't want to make a mistake, and I'm sure this isn't a great way to start a ''new friendship ''
Q. I use to be pretty close with one of my guy friends, (I think it's now safe to call him that) I cared for him alot, but for reasons beyond my control I was never able to actually be with him. He was off doing his own thing (with other girls) and I ...
A. 3 May 2008: I'm afraid I don't understand your post. I will try to summarize it.
You had this male friend who always had girls by his side. You loved him, but thought you weren't important to him, and also you were afraid to compete with many other girls. ... (read in full...)
Is it better for a mother to lie to their child's face, than confess?
Q. My mom and I have been very close throughout the years. Up until she started looking at my emails and msn chats. I lost alot of repect for her, but kept her in my heart. Boy loves his mama. We started this online game a while ago, and we played toge...
A. 3 May 2008: Dear, I have some opinions to give you.
I was wondering where to start, but I think I will start with your parent's divorce.
I'm sure that the reasons your mother had for divorcing were many more and way deeper than just meeting Prick. ... (read in full...)
Is my hubby having an affair with this woman on his myspace page?
Q. I need some help I Have been with my hubby for 8 years and just got married last year. He has a myspace account and there was this girl leaving him message about how fine he was and she had him as her number on there and i asked him who this was he ...
A. 2 May 2008: Poster, I can only speak on the basis of what you're telling here. I will try to do my best.
I believe your husband has had both you and that other girl for some time. He married you, but he hasn't given her up. Maybe there is a legitima... (read in full...)
What should I do about this girl in church? I think she may have a boyfriend.
Q. okay, iv'e met this really pretty cuban girl about 2 months ago while we were preaching. Her cousin and her kept whispering and looking at me and well im not sure but i think she likes me, but im stressing out cause i can't figure her out. In ...
A. 2 May 2008: Yep, do as Emily says.... (read in full...)
Why would he take a condom with him if he didn't expect to have sex?
Q. My boyfriend went away to Seattle then to california to see his friend 2 weeks ago and he got back monday. When i went over last night i went to get the toothpaste out of his bag where he keeps all the toothpaste etc which he had taken with him, ...
A. 2 May 2008: I'm sorry to disagree a bit. There can be a perfectly innocent reason for that condom to be there, I recognize that.
And I can only speak for my own experience: I never carry a condom for the purpose of giving it to a friend. I buy mine for... (read in full...)
Do all men cheat?
Q. Do all men cheat? Every serious boyfriend I have ever had has cheated on me, and my friends boyfriends have too. My dad cheated on my mother, my grandfathers cheated on my grandmothers, etc. I've never met a man who doesn't cheat! I am beginnin...
A. 2 May 2008: Not all men cheat. Period.
There is no way you can tell who will cheat on you and who won't, so I'm afraid you can't love anyone without running the risk of being heartbroken again. By the way, men can't, either. We all have the same problem.... (read in full...)
I love my children, but should I divorce?
Q. My wife of 14 years asked for a divorce. She is still in love with her first love. We have 2 children ages 10 and 13. After a year and long fights she wants me back and says she made a mistake and still loves me. This has happened twice before ...
A. 2 May 2008: When I see a case of divorce, I always try to look at it from the point of view of children first. Children are the weakest in a family, and quite often they don't know how to cope with the events of their lives or how to describe them.
I wil... (read in full...)
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