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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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We were in the middle of sex and he ran out to watch a match! Tired of his obsession for footbal!
Q. Well me and my boyfriend have been together a year and half now, and everything is great. We have a great time, we're both completely loyal, we both love each other to pieces. I know you're probably thinking "What's the problem here?" The probl...
A. 26 April 2008: I find it only too reasonable that you were upset by his going away. It's certainly awful, and I'm sure that he would have felt terrible if you had stopped the lovemaking to do something else. You're not overreacting at all.
Most men will tel... (read in full...)
I have no shortage of men willing to take me out. But the ONE guy that I really want won't give me the time of day!
Q. So there's a guy that I CANNOT stop thinking about. I'm an attractive, popular girl, and I have no shortage of men willing to take me out. But the ONE guy that I really want won't give me the time of day, and it's driving me MAD! We've worked t...
A. 26 April 2008: I very much agree with Lazy Guy. He was expecting a signal from you, never got it, and stopped trying. Why would he do otherwise?... (read in full...)
I like him even though he's a different race but my friends/family tell me not to!
Q. Hi, I'm 23 and like a guy who works in my office! We don't actually work togther, but it's not a big office so I see him all the time. He likes me, too, we've been talking all week while he's been out of town (on business, of all things). What's ...
A. 26 April 2008: I will divide my answer in parts.
His being of a different race shouldn't matter. I'm not naïve and I know it matters to many people. But it shouldn't.
Your dating him is not your family's business at all. I don't think anyone would dis... (read in full...)
How do I move on with my life?
Q. How do you forget about someone and get on with your life?? I was having an affair with a married man for 4 months and it has now ended as we've both decided to make it work with our current partners (he has 3 children). We have both told our ...
A. 24 April 2008: We all feel like we will never be able to move on, but we all do move on. When we don't, that's because something is the matter with us. We don't want to give ourselves another chance.
Give yourself some time and you will move on.
Also, I... (read in full...)
I'm dating a guy who loves his ex girlfriend. I'm so hurt by this!
Q. I have been dating a great, amazing guy for just over half a year now. I am really falling in love with him...there's only one major problem: He doesn't love me...he loves his ex-girlfriend, who he broke up with over a year ago. They dated for six ...
A. 24 April 2008: Collaroy said it all. You seem to be his rebound relationship. He won't give you what you need any time soon. He might, just might, give you the love you need after he is over his ex; but you don't know when that will be.
If I were you, I w... (read in full...)
Mixed signals from this guy, should I ask?
Q. Hi, I'm always wondering whether he likes me or not. I'm not exactly infatuated with him, but he is not a bad catch and sometimes when I think about him my heart beats a little faster. He's funny, smart, decent-looking. We talk and he asks ...
A. 24 April 2008: I believe you shouldn't go for this man. He said he can't handle long-distance, and You're leaving very soon anyways, aren't you?... (read in full...)
I gave her space. she's still ignoring me. Advice on how to talk to her one last time?
Q. I really like my friend. She found out, I gave her space because she didnt like me. Its been 2 months, yet were still not talking. She's rejected my calls. Can anyone advice me on how to talk to her one last time-attempt before I give up? Thanks...
A. 24 April 2008: There's a song in Spanish that goes like this: "What do I want your kisses for, if your lips don't want to kiss me anymore?" You will not like this, but it's very clear that you have no future with this girl. The sooner you recognize it so, and ... (read in full...)
17 reasons why I shouldnt be with my boyfriend, so why am I still with him?
Q. I have been together with my Mister Trouble for four years now. During this time I came to realize that 1) we are not really compatible with each other emotionally, and that our intimacy demands are to different to actually have a ...
A. 24 April 2008: You have seventeen reasons to leave him, and one big reason to stay with him. When you find out why you stay with him, and you analyze and decide how to act on that one reason, you will be able to leave him.... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by my married partner for the third time, help me!
Q. im 24 years old have been seein a married man since 2005, i became pregnant by him around april 2006, he convinced me to have an abortion and i did, i went through this emotional rollercoaster but instead of moving on with my life i was dumb and ...
A. 24 April 2008: The biggest mistake you have made is stay with this married man, who won't give you what you expect from him. All the other mistakes sort of derive from the first one. There is a reason why you have stayed with him though you seem to know you... (read in full...)
Should he stay a virgin?
Q. Hi all, I find it really disturbing that one of our Aunts (WE ALL KNOW WHO) is ranting and raving over religion. He is clearly very disturbed, and should anyone that has such extreme views be giving advice? We are all entitled to believe in w...
A. 22 April 2008: Tellulah is not a dirtbag and is not running any campaign against anyone. She put a clever post on someone who was calling people names, because they don't happen to match his standards. This person wanted to feel superior by putting people down. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to watch me with another man - healthy and normal??
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 6 months. We have always been very sexually active and comfortable with speaking openly about what we want in the bedroom. About 2 months ago, during phone sex, he brought up how he wanted to watch me ...
A. 22 April 2008: I'm with Heidi Heart. I think you deserve better.
I agree with you, poster. Maybe I'm old school too, but I believe that you don't want to see a person you love making love to a third person. If most people liked that, cheating would not be t... (read in full...)
He enjoys fellatio whereas he doesn't even touch me in the private area... because he's religious! Any advice?
Q. Hi All I'm 45, in a relatively new relationship (six months). My guy (47) is very religious (Catholic) and believes that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I respect his views and though its not easy, I abide by them (mostly). We have had sex a f...
A. 22 April 2008: Sometimes religion is not the lamb, but the scapegoat. Some people blame religion for things they do themselves. Where I live, some people used to have many children, and the usual explanation was "We'll have as many as God sends". The real ... (read in full...)
Why don't guys seem phased at all about breaking up?
Q. why do guys when they break up with someone who they supposedly loved act like they arent even bothered. My bf broke up with me after 4 months together and i was truly hurt, we are both 14. Like he acted like nothing bothered him but yet I heard ...
A. 22 April 2008: That is a mistake. If a man is really in love, a break up can really get to him. Maybe this particular guy didn't feel that much for you.
Also, most of us men prefer not to show how broken we can get to be.... (read in full...)
One night stands! What's so great?
Q. One for the ladies - everywhere I read women saying that they need intimacy and trust for the best sex - that sex is better in a good relationship and yet so many have one night stands - so what are you getting out of all these one night stands ...
A. 21 April 2008: These questions show that you, poster, have other issues that you would like to have answered, but do not feel confident to post.... (read in full...)
Due to her mixed signals, I'm not sure where I stand..
Q. I have begun to grow very close to a female coworker of mine over these past several weeks. We talk a lot, spend time with each other outside of the office and genuinely seem to click. We have both been guilty of flirting with each other on a ...
A. 21 April 2008: I am with q1605. She is definitely not sending any mixed signals. I think everyone understands that she doesn't want any kids at the moment. She's too young.
I think we should abstain from giving this kind of opinions, but, if I were you, I w... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for not letting my daughter see her father?
Q. My daughter's dad and I have been in and out of a relationship. He is getting ready to leave in June with his other two kids elsewhere to where he can hold a decent job without getting let go because of his attitude. To make a long story short...
A. 20 April 2008: Well, I am sorry to say that I feel I am not helping you, poster. I understand your situation and wish there would be an easy way out of it. I know for a fact that there is none. And I know for a fact that, whatever you choose, something will go ... (read in full...)
Could it be that excessive masturbation has somewhat desensitized my penis?
Q. I can make love for very long periods. I seem to go through periods of arousal, to semi-arousal. The woman I'm with doesn't really complain, but, lately it seems I'm having a problem being completely aroused (fully erect) . One of the reasons may ...
A. 20 April 2008: Yes, excessive masturbation is indeed your problem.
A short period without masturbation will help. The medications you're taking are not the problem.... (read in full...)
Due to her mixed signals, I'm not sure where I stand..
Q. I have begun to grow very close to a female coworker of mine over these past several weeks. We talk a lot, spend time with each other outside of the office and genuinely seem to click. We have both been guilty of flirting with each other on a ...
A. 20 April 2008: Eleven years can mean little or a lot, depending on what stage of life you're in. An 11-year old with a 22 year old are only separated by eleven years, you know? So are an 18 year old and a 29 year old. And so are a 71 year old and a 60 year old. ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for not letting my daughter see her father?
Q. My daughter's dad and I have been in and out of a relationship. He is getting ready to leave in June with his other two kids elsewhere to where he can hold a decent job without getting let go because of his attitude. To make a long story short...
A. 20 April 2008: Sorry, poster, but you're in the wrong for not letting him see her. Which is another way to say "not letting her see him".
I will take the point of view of the little two year old. You can't, because you're her mother. Her father can't, b... (read in full...)
Due to her mixed signals, I'm not sure where I stand..
Q. I have begun to grow very close to a female coworker of mine over these past several weeks. We talk a lot, spend time with each other outside of the office and genuinely seem to click. We have both been guilty of flirting with each other on a ...
A. 20 April 2008: It would be good to know how many years are there in that age gap. Some people think that 20 years isn't that much. Other people think that three years is a hell of a lot.
I guess she has told you the truth. She likes you, but thinks that she... (read in full...)
She had a one night stand but claims it meant nothing. What shall I do?
Q. I am very unhappy. I have been going out with my GF for 2 and a half years. A while ago she got a new job - she did not think she had a chance of getting it - was not going to apply - but I encouraged her and helped her and she got the job. She's ...
A. 20 April 2008: Two things I forgot:
1) Ask her why she did it. Ask her if there are any issues in the relationship, and listen carefully. But don't assume you're bad if you choose to leave or stay. Those are just choices.
2) She will continue to see ... (read in full...)
She had a one night stand but claims it meant nothing. What shall I do?
Q. I am very unhappy. I have been going out with my GF for 2 and a half years. A while ago she got a new job - she did not think she had a chance of getting it - was not going to apply - but I encouraged her and helped her and she got the job. She's ...
A. 20 April 2008: No one can tell you what you shall do. We can give you opinions about what we would do, and perhaps a look at the situation. This is your life and you have to make the decision yourself.
From what she told you, this man has been making passes a... (read in full...)
Why are guys so obsessed with breasts?
Q. Why are guys so obsessed with breasts? It's unfair! I see so much naked boobs online, and the obsession with whose cleavage is hotter, this and that, and I feel inadequate! In a normal day I feel that my breasts look pretty, but then all this ...
A. 20 April 2008: I would like to add a little comment. Contrary to what you might believe, being the "ideal" woman in terms of physique can actually be bad for you.
Once, I met a gorgeous blonde, with NATURAL big boobs, tall, contoured legs, et cetera. She was ... (read in full...)
The way he replied to my joke makes me wonder if I'm just a "pal". What do you think?
Q. I send him a joke, and he just replied. "Funny Stuff. How are things down there?" I live in a state south from where he is. We haven't communicate that much lately, so he sending that note to me makes me wonder if it's a light way of him wanting to ...
A. 20 April 2008: We can't know. No podemos saber.
I still believe we would need a lot more information. Me parece que todavía necesitamos más información.
However, if he always treated you in a polite manner, maybe he isn't into you, or he is being very caref... (read in full...)
Do lads like a girl who can make them laugh?
Q. a lad told me he thinks im funny n i make him laugh - do lads generally like a girl who can make them laugh? x...
A. 20 April 2008: Definitely, yes.... (read in full...)
Best way to ask a girl if she was intimately involved with previous partners?
Q. I need advice on the best way to ask a gilr a question. I've met a girl, and really like her, I've not been in a proper relationship before, so she's kinda my first. We're chatting alot via msn and text, and getting to know eachother. Sh...
A. 20 April 2008: There is no best way to ask her that. That's her life, and whether she slept with anyone else or not is not relevant. She lived her life the way she thought she should, or could, or the way she wanted it, and that's her decision. To me, the fact ... (read in full...)
Is saying no to sex when you don't feel like it a bad or good thing?
Q. Is saying no to sex when you don't feel like it a good or a bad thing? Sure you don't feel like it so why shouldn't you say no? But is that the sort of way you'd like your partner to treat you when you're the one wanting it? Personally if ...
A. 20 April 2008: Poster, you do need to get her to talk. With you updates, it is clear that there is a problem, and that is not a difference in desire, or lack of consideration on your part, or lack of ideas about what to do in bed, et cetera. The impression you ... (read in full...)
Why are guys so obsessed with breasts?
Q. Why are guys so obsessed with breasts? It's unfair! I see so much naked boobs online, and the obsession with whose cleavage is hotter, this and that, and I feel inadequate! In a normal day I feel that my breasts look pretty, but then all this ...
A. 20 April 2008: I need to clarify one point: I'm omnivorous.... (read in full...)
Why are guys so obsessed with breasts?
Q. Why are guys so obsessed with breasts? It's unfair! I see so much naked boobs online, and the obsession with whose cleavage is hotter, this and that, and I feel inadequate! In a normal day I feel that my breasts look pretty, but then all this ...
A. 20 April 2008: I don't think any man can answer for all men, but I will answer as if it were possible.
We are obsessed with breasts because they are just, just, just, just, just great!!!! I don't think any man can say otherwise!!!
That said, I agree with you... (read in full...)
We found each other again online but I'm still a virgin and she's not! Will she ever be totally mine?
Q. To start off, i am an 20yr old male living in canada. Currently in a serious relationship with a childhood friend, whom i have known when we were going to kindergarten. We got separated when my parents have gotten job offers in another country, thus ...
A. 19 April 2008: I believe that you're giving this too much thought. I would give a lot more importance to being with the girl than to the fact that she was with someone before. She just lived her life. It was correct for her to be in relationships. Why not?
... (read in full...)
Why do guys flirt and not follow it up?
Q. Okay here is my situation. There is a great guy at work that I have always liked, and he's always been really nice and friendly to me too. We occasionally work on projects together. We get along and have fun bantering back and forth. However, over ...
A. 19 April 2008: I know, poster. Believe me, I understand what you're going through. I just wrote my comment in that way because I wanted you to feel it would be simple and effortless. If you believe that the road ahead is going to be extremely difficult, you ... (read in full...)
Why do guys flirt and not follow it up?
Q. Okay here is my situation. There is a great guy at work that I have always liked, and he's always been really nice and friendly to me too. We occasionally work on projects together. We get along and have fun bantering back and forth. However, over ...
A. 19 April 2008: Well, at least you're free to date someone who will really put you in the first place, and you're a bit wiser about people who flirt and don't deliver.
Good luck and take care.... (read in full...)
How can I learn how to orgasm? Is there something wrong with me?
Q. I have read the other questions related to this on the website but I am still slightly confused. Does a woman have to learn how to orgasm? I am 17 and have never experienced an orgasm, and I'm worried there is something wrong. Other girls I sp...
A. 19 April 2008: One thing I have learned from very good women is that yes, women need to learn how to have an orgasm. This isn't exactly what a man expects, because, fo rus, it is a given. We believe that if you follow the steps, 1,2, 3, the woman will have it. ... (read in full...)
I'm married and recently had sex with another man. Will continuing this ruin my life?
Q. I am in an extremely happy and stable marriage. A few months ago, my husband out-of-the-blue suggested that since he had experienced many women before we started dating and that he was my one and only, that I should be able to now sleep with other ...
A. 19 April 2008: Well, I think I'm part of the moral brigade here. So, I will make my bias known.
I can't really understand how a loving husband will really believe that his wife sleeping with another man will make the relationship stronger. I believe that, wh... (read in full...)
I am needing some companionship and I am not getting it!
Q. HELP Feeling Un-wanted and rejected MY hubby and I have been married for 4 years. Let me give you a little history lesson first. We have had a few rough patches in our marriage. About two years ago I was going to school to became a medi...
A. 19 April 2008: I see a complete lack of communication here. You two don't discuss your problems; you avoid them. I understand that ostriches don't bury their head in sand, but that is a good image of what is going on between you two.
If you don't find a w... (read in full...)
Do you think I've hurt his feelings by backing off from the relationship?
Q. I recently told the guy I've been dating for 2 months that I wanted to stop seeing him for the time being. We got really intimate(but no intercourse) on the last date. Frankly he wanted more but I was not ready so we only masturbated each other. Do ...
A. 19 April 2008: Maybe he is hurt, or maybe he just felt frustrated because you didn't agree to sex. But the most important point here is that you said you wanted to stop seeing him. "For the time being" is an indeterminate time; it can mean a few days, or can be ... (read in full...)
Do men enjoy getting oral sex more than normal intercourse?
Q. Do men enjoy getting oral sex more than normal intercourse? Personally I'd rather skip intercourse to worry less about getting pregnant. Any opinions?...
A. 19 April 2008: I don't think a man can answer this question for other men. This man will prefer oral sex and that guy over there won't. Some men don't want their significant ones performing oral sex, as they consider it degrading. Some other men would want oral ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant by injecting sperm?
Q. I am just wondering the possibilities of getting pregnant by putting sperm in yourself around your ovulation... My girlfriend and I want a baby.. we are trying to take the cheap way my brother is donating the sperm.....
A. 18 April 2008: Yes, Spunky, I won't answer your questions anymore. Not because you asked, though. It's because it would be a waste of my time.
This is the message you sent to me a short time ago:
you need to leave me out of your misgivings I came looking f... (read in full...)
Should he stay a virgin?
Q. Hi all, I find it really disturbing that one of our Aunts (WE ALL KNOW WHO) is ranting and raving over religion. He is clearly very disturbed, and should anyone that has such extreme views be giving advice? We are all entitled to believe in w...
A. 18 April 2008: Tellulah, first I want to tell you this much: You won't burn in hell even if you fornicated. You're way smarter than the Devil. God Almighty will want you somewhere near him.
What you're doing here is giving this person a taste of his own medi... (read in full...)
Any inspirational words to help me move on guys?
Q. I had a relationship with a girl and I met her in a bad point in her life when she had no one else. Basically long story short is that I did everything for her to turn her life around - got her out of the wrong crowd, beat alcoholism, let her live ...
A. 18 April 2008: This post reminds me of another question that was asked only a few days ago, about why nice guys never finish. You're a woman, but I think the logic works.
I do commend you on your good heart. You helped a human being out of her misery and that... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant by injecting sperm?
Q. I am just wondering the possibilities of getting pregnant by putting sperm in yourself around your ovulation... My girlfriend and I want a baby.. we are trying to take the cheap way my brother is donating the sperm.....
A. 18 April 2008: I have to take this personally. And I believe in using the deadliest weapon in the arsenal if I can, so I will go for the jugular vein here. Many people wouldn't think that your post would come from a normal person. If we talk about "normal" and ... (read in full...)
Is saying no to sex when you don't feel like it a bad or good thing?
Q. Is saying no to sex when you don't feel like it a good or a bad thing? Sure you don't feel like it so why shouldn't you say no? But is that the sort of way you'd like your partner to treat you when you're the one wanting it? Personally if ...
A. 18 April 2008: Anonymous male,
One way to summarize your problem is "I wish my wife had sex with me even if she were not in the mood". I believe that this way of putting it makes it easier to give opinions.
Saying "no" to sex, every now and then, is not bei... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant by injecting sperm?
Q. I am just wondering the possibilities of getting pregnant by putting sperm in yourself around your ovulation... My girlfriend and I want a baby.. we are trying to take the cheap way my brother is donating the sperm.....
A. 18 April 2008: Of course, I assume your brother will donate the sperm to your girlfriend, not you. This is none of my business, but you know that relatives have a higher risk of transmitting congenital diseases to their children.
If a little semen in your vag... (read in full...)
Why do guys flirt and not follow it up?
Q. Okay here is my situation. There is a great guy at work that I have always liked, and he's always been really nice and friendly to me too. We occasionally work on projects together. We get along and have fun bantering back and forth. However, over ...
A. 8 October 2007: This is the million dollar question for me. I'm afraid I can't answer that. You're asking how to tell whether his flirting has feelings behind, or not; and that, I think, no one but him can actually tell. The one way to know whether his flirting ... (read in full...)
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