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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Would I be a bad person if I left my gf due to her past...it makes me cringe to think about it...
Q. What should I do about my gf's past? I think about it every single day, multiple times a day, the closer and more I feel for her the more intense this problem becomes. She has been very promiscuous, sleeping with around 20 people of which most all ...
A. 17 June 2008: Baby Duck, that was a wise t-shirt!... (read in full...)
What's the main reason men cheat?
Q. Y do MOST men CHEAT? What gives them a reason to have more than 1 women? I no theres alot of reason but whats the MAIN reason? Does SEX plays a BIG role in a relationship?...
A. 17 June 2008: Sorry, "the damned bastard wasn't giving HER what SHE needs".... (read in full...)
What's the main reason men cheat?
Q. Y do MOST men CHEAT? What gives them a reason to have more than 1 women? I no theres alot of reason but whats the MAIN reason? Does SEX plays a BIG role in a relationship?...
A. 17 June 2008: The way you asked your questions is biased. It suggests that men cheat and women don't. That all women have enough with one man, only. That there is only one reason for an action: if I eat chocolate ice cream, for example, there can be one ... (read in full...)
Should females tell their male partners the truth about their sexual past?
Q. I read loads of questions about this and seen it myself with a freind, Should females not tell their male partners the truth about their sexual past? if they're going to freak out what's the point? My workmate once boasted to me about how many b/f ...
A. 17 June 2008: I'm with Eyeswideopen ("Don't ask, don't tell") and the Wizard. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks I'm only with him for sex...
Q. Is there a way to decrease a persons sex drive? I'm horny all the time and it's causing tension with my boyfriend because he thinks I'm only with him for sex, I want to prove him wrong....
A. 17 June 2008: I believe most men would be glad to have a girl who is always willing. That would boost anybody's ego all the way up to the most distant galaxies, as it would mean the girl is very truly enjoying it.
I think not sleeping with him for a while wo... (read in full...)
Can someone help me to read between the lines here??
Q. hey there is this guy who i recently started talkin too...and we have become quite close..recently he said that he stayed away from girls who he wanted to have flings with..and he flirts with girls who he is fond of..m really confused..what does ...
A. 17 June 2008: I agree with Twist of Fate: maybe he doesn't know what he means.
Sometimes, dear poster, you need to read between the lines. Some times you don't. The trick is know when not to do it. I'm not sure if this is one of those cases when you shou... (read in full...)
I feel a little weird after my guy friend allowed me to put a finger up his anus...why is this?
Q. ok ummh my guy friend allow me to put my finger in his anus. After it happen i felt funny that he allow me to do such thing. He's willing and able to plese me in any way. Do you think thats a little over board or is he a FREAK. Do you think maybe he ...
A. 17 June 2008: Many of us (myself included) wouldn't like this at all. We grew up with the idea that NOTHING has to go into that part of our body. However, some men do like that, and it seems your man is one of them. End of story.... (read in full...)
Am I spending too much time 'down there' on my guy or not?? What do you all think?
Q. I don't know if this a problem or what! I LOVE to go down on my man(he loves it to). I think i can do it for HOURS(no joke). I love to make him feel good(that not the only way i can make him feel good). I really enjoys it also. Do you think i spend ...
A. 17 June 2008: If you are doing it because you want to, and you enjoy it as well... who can tell you to do otherwise?... (read in full...)
Would I be a bad person if I left my gf due to her past...it makes me cringe to think about it...
Q. What should I do about my gf's past? I think about it every single day, multiple times a day, the closer and more I feel for her the more intense this problem becomes. She has been very promiscuous, sleeping with around 20 people of which most all ...
A. 17 June 2008: We find this question every so often. I believe that the advice I can give is very simple, and is simply a description of what your options are. Either you accept her as she is, with her past, yes, and all the good things she brings to the ... (read in full...)
He's breaking up with me so...is it okay to still have sex with him?
Q. My boyfriend and I are going to break up on a mutual decision even though I dont want to but he doesn't want the pressure of having a girlfriend. We still love each other more than anything in the world though. Is is alright if we still have sex? ...
A. 17 June 2008: Dear poster, I had never heard about anyone saying that he loves his girl "more than anything in the world" but still sees her as "pressure" he can´t take. I believe this is simply a sugar-coated break-up. Much like Snow White's apple, this is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend snogged another guy and she doesn't know that I know!
Q. My girlfriend of almost 16 months is just back from holiday and she snogged another guy while very drunk and she doesn't know i know. I found out thru reading one of her emails she sent to a friend where she stated she wouldnt tell me because she ...
A. 17 June 2008: I insist: it's your call.... (read in full...)
I split with my partner of 4 years as we fell out of love, now his brother and I are in love, will this cause problems for my daughter?
Q. i have recently split with my partner of 4 years within that time we had a baby girl who is now 2. for the past 2 years we have been having problems and we fell out of love. since then i have been texting and seeing his brother and have fallen in ...
A. 16 June 2008: Irish said it better than I possibly could.... (read in full...)
I'm fed up with waiting for someone to find me - what do I do?!??
Q. Lately, i've completley given up on guys and everything to do with them. I haven't been in a relationship since october, and i've had a few crushes which have turned out to hurt me. I've been hurt by guys so many times, I don't know what to do ...
A. 16 June 2008: Everyone has that problem at one point in life. The initial reason why people date is because they attract each other. The attraction is most often physical, which is no guarantee of compatibility at all, so perhaps most people you will find in ... (read in full...)
I split with my partner of 4 years as we fell out of love, now his brother and I are in love, will this cause problems for my daughter?
Q. i have recently split with my partner of 4 years within that time we had a baby girl who is now 2. for the past 2 years we have been having problems and we fell out of love. since then i have been texting and seeing his brother and have fallen in ...
A. 16 June 2008: As Peter Pan said, it's good that you're concerned about your little girl. She is the one who has no defenses here, and the one who would be most affected. Though it's not only her who matters, she matters most.
That said, I think it's wrong of... (read in full...)
The affair with a married man emotionally messed me up, should I end it with him?
Q. I was recently dating a married man....even though i developed strong feelings for this man...i always knew that it was going nowhere....and I never expected much from him..i do feel like i gave more than what i should...but the point is that we got ...
A. 16 June 2008: I'm with the Sister. In short: if it's going nowhere, and you know it, why insist?... (read in full...)
Hey Guys! How come you disappear after a few dates?!
Q. This is a question for all the men. Why do you guys disappear? Like, after a few dates, few phone calls, emails..then, just vanish into thin air? for all the baffled women out there, whats up guys? ...
A. 16 June 2008: Though I can understand the poster's disappointment at the man's vanishing, I agree with the Wizard. Some times people dump us by vanishing. We should learn to accept this and move on.
Sometimes, people disappear for reasons other than dislikin... (read in full...)
Hairy arms making me self-conscious! What do I do?
Q. I have really hairy arms. A boy in my Spanish class even commented on it. I have light blonde hair so my arms hairs arent dark or anything, thers just a lot of them. this makes me really self conscious and i find myself hiding my arms under the ...
A. 15 June 2008: I wonder what your age is, or what "really hairy" means in this context. I assume you're young. When we're young, we tend to magnify what others perceive as a physical defect (when we're older, we do that, too).
So, first, I would suggest ... (read in full...)
Hurt because he wanted me to get STI checked and use condoms!
Q. My boyfriend have had sex before but he always wants to wear a condom when I give him head. I like doing it but even the flavored condoms taste sooo weird to me. I wish he would just take it off and relax! We've both been tested for STDs and ...
A. 15 June 2008: Your girl friends are taking their chances. What your guy is doing is all right.... (read in full...)
What are men from 45 upwards looking for in a relationship with a woman?
Q. To all the males out there! In your opinion,what are men from 45 upwards looking for in a relationship with a woman? What is important, what less important? Your comments and insight will be appreciated....
A. 14 June 2008: Dear poster, In addition to what the others have said, I believe you should also think about what you offer to the man in question. He might want this and that, but he would still need to take in consideration what your wishes are.... (read in full...)
How do I stop my friend smoking?
Q. About 2 months ago, a close friend of mine started smoking after having a cigar at another friends sleepover. At first I thought it was just a phase, we're 15 and I thought she'd just got caught up with what the "cooler" kids were doing. I didn't ...
A. 14 June 2008: I don't like smoking. However, I don't think I would like any friend of mine to tell me that I can't do it. I would consider it my own business.... (read in full...)
Guys, would you date her and kiss her? She was forced to perform oral sex by a previous boyfriend.
Q. If you see a beautiful girl that you really like and she also attends college. But she tell you that she was force once in the past to perform oral sex by a guy she was dating. she said she end it with the guy immediately after that. These are my ...
A. 12 June 2008: He forced her. What does it tell you about her? That she was physically weaker than he is? That he's an abuser? Why does that make her bad?
This girl is up for grabs, and you're still thinking what to do?... (read in full...)
My girlfriend snogged another guy and she doesn't know that I know!
Q. My girlfriend of almost 16 months is just back from holiday and she snogged another guy while very drunk and she doesn't know i know. I found out thru reading one of her emails she sent to a friend where she stated she wouldnt tell me because she ...
A. 12 June 2008: It's your call, man.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to have a crush on someone when I have a boyfriend?
Q. I have a boyfriend and we've been together for 3 years; I love him more than I've ever loved anyone. But there's a guy who I've been friends with for just over 3 years who I had a crush on before I met my current boyfriend. We hung out for a couple ...
A. 11 June 2008: Feeling attracted to somebody is not wrong. It's just being human, in action. A similar attraction brought you close to your current boyfriend.
Since you recognize you love your boyfriend, acting on that attraction would be wrong. If the othe... (read in full...)
I my love only worth 11 thousand euros?
Q. hi cupid, me and my husband just got married and he said he love me, he wanted to buy a house and lot for me, cost 11thousand euro" is that all he can give to me? is that all how much he love me? shall i not complain and accept what he can give, ev...
A. 10 June 2008: We Latin Americans also have Western values, but in an excentric manner. We got our Western values from countries that were peculiarly European. Where I live, I have seen many marriages like the one the poster is describing: that is, between ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend snogged another guy and she doesn't know that I know!
Q. My girlfriend of almost 16 months is just back from holiday and she snogged another guy while very drunk and she doesn't know i know. I found out thru reading one of her emails she sent to a friend where she stated she wouldnt tell me because she ...
A. 10 June 2008: Just a comment on what an anonymous poster said. I am absolutely, fully, overwhelmingly... (write any adverb here) convinced that the girlfriend is certainly not the person to ask for help here. It's like asking the wolf what to do with the sheep. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend snogged another guy and she doesn't know that I know!
Q. My girlfriend of almost 16 months is just back from holiday and she snogged another guy while very drunk and she doesn't know i know. I found out thru reading one of her emails she sent to a friend where she stated she wouldnt tell me because she ...
A. 10 June 2008: This situation has difficult circumstances.
Her being drunk isn't an excuse; it never is, with anyone. So, let´s see the options.
A) Say nothing. It won't work. You want to know why she kissed that other guy. And I would want to know, to... (read in full...)
I've tried everything to get rid of the acne! Any useful advice?
Q. I am so fed up of suffering with acne since my early teenage life....over the years I have tried so much-just about everything to get rid of it but nothing ever works! Firstly I am NOT stressed, I am a happy person and enjoy life. I do alot ...
A. 10 June 2008: I didn't have acne until I was sixteen, and then I had the same problem you described. Nothing works in cases like yours and mine :-). Time does, however. I got rid of most of my acne (I still get it once in a while) by washing my face very ... (read in full...)
Separated, but my husband is flipping with jealousy. I'm worried about my new love and the effect it might have on my boys.
Q. I have been separated from my husband for over 2 years now though its years more that our marriage was over because of his infidelity (he gave me an std) I was severely depressed and tried to make it work but couldn't and it took a long time, years, ...
A. 9 June 2008: My first suggestion is that you change the lock to your home. That's certainly within your means, and he can't do nothing about it.
My second suggestion is to think about yourself, too. Your grown-up boys are away, living their own lives, a... (read in full...)
Is masturbation good to help you last longer?
Q. Is masturbation good to help you last longer? If so what kinda technique while masturbating would help me last longer which my girlfriend?...
A. 7 June 2008: I don't think so. Masturbation is not like real sex. If you want to learn about self-control when you're with a woman, be with a woman.... (read in full...)
Should I let my wife sleep with other men because I sleep with other women?
Q. Actually i like sex and i am having sex with many girls. one day my wife has seen me during sex with another girl. that time she did not say anything but right now she has also staret to have sex with her male guys. she do the sex in front of me and ...
A. 5 June 2008: I have a different opinion.
I didn't think cheating is something she would do only if you let her. I thought she could do that herself, and that is the case. I'm afraid it's a little late to ponder whether you should "let" her do that. Seems li... (read in full...)
Is he still being dishonest with me? Could he be interested in a serious relationship with me?
Q. So I've been having so many doubts since I started dating this guy two months ago. Finally I got what I've wanted to hear from him since I really like him. We had such a great time last saturday. I met more friends of him and we went hiking, afte...
A. 4 June 2008: It seems to me that this man is being very honest with you. He didn't expect you to come into his life, so he had some things going and maybe female friends, too. Now that you're there, he wants you and you only.
It's a good sign that he was t... (read in full...)
Can I not call her ever again? Advice please
Q. I have posted here previously about my relationship with my girlfriend and her inconsistent behavior. We have been off and on the last few weeks, talking about things and trying to make it work. I went to a costume party on Saturday night, while she ...
A. 4 June 2008: The hell I do. Dump her forever.... (read in full...)
Is he trying to get over me by not calling?
Q. My ex broke up with me 4 months ago. It hurt me so bad. I did little pty things to him like: lashing out at him alot because I got his attention that way and I pushed him away. This has been the longest 4 months of my life. I know that I messed ...
A. 4 June 2008: We could speculate a lot about his motives or his opinions. Let's stick to the facts, instead: he isn't calling you. He's moving on. I guess you should do the same.
Take your time to think what you did wrong, why, and don't repeat that in ... (read in full...)
Are open relationships better?
Q. Are open relationships better? When do you know you're ready for one? Do you think you could handle it? For me personally, i don't think I could do it; I can't stand the thought of my partner being with someone else. At the same time, it goes bo...
A. 4 June 2008: It is impossible to "agree" on whether open relationships are better or not. They will be better for some, very bad for others. There's no middle ground.
In the end, you can do only one of two things: monogamy or "open relationships". Don't th... (read in full...)
What does he mean he needs space when I'm leaving in 3 weeks?!
Q. I've been with my bf for 15 months now. I'm not so sure about how he feels now. He was very loving and always took care of me. I love him as well but I have severe mood swings and a very short temper. I would say the cruelest things...but I never ...
A. 4 June 2008: Or, he's ending it. My rule of thumb is this: if anyone asks for "space", in any way, give it to him/her and just go on with your life. Never return.
Wish you the best.... (read in full...)
Is he cheating? I'm blonde but I'm not stupid!
Q. My partner and I have been together for six months. We're both late forties and although we don't yet live together, consider ourselves a committed couple. Whilst using his computer I discovered he's been indulging in sexual activities on-line with ...
A. 4 June 2008: See it in a positive light: Now you know very well what to do. You gave him every possible opportunity and he just didn't take them. Now you know how to move ahead, without thinking that "a little more love" would have done the trick.
Now y... (read in full...)
Sexual Harrassment at work - how can I make it stop?
Q. i recently started a new job which i love the man who was head of my department was selected to train me, after only a month he started to put his arm around me, and make sexuall remarks, this has now delveloped into him groping my bottom, and also ...
A. 4 June 2008: I agree with other posters. Complain very loudly and publicly about him and he will stop.... (read in full...)
I want to leave my partner, and this country, but our children complicate things!
Q. I want to leave my partner , but what makes it so difficult is that I’m from a different country and we also have two young children with a third on the way. When I leave my partner I don’t wish to stay in Australia. I have no social network here ...
A. 3 June 2008: Maybe this will sound like unnecessary, but I would recommend that you think carefully about leaving your partner. By this, I don't mean that you can't or shouldn't. I just mean that it would be a decision that would affect your entire family and ... (read in full...)
This girl wants me to come over, is that slutty?
Q. I just recently started talking to this girl, we havnt hung out yet but she has already asked me to come over to her house, is that somewhat of a slutty thing to do? I really would like her to be my GF but it seems shes looking just for sex. Btw im ...
A. 3 June 2008: So?... (read in full...)
This girl wants me to come over, is that slutty?
Q. I just recently started talking to this girl, we havnt hung out yet but she has already asked me to come over to her house, is that somewhat of a slutty thing to do? I really would like her to be my GF but it seems shes looking just for sex. Btw im ...
A. 3 June 2008: Ehem... Her inviting you to her house is no indication that she wants to sleep with you. Now, if that's what she wants, why should it be awful? A girl wanting to sleep with me? WOW! Maybe we can trade places, and you stay here and I go to her ... (read in full...)
Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?
Q. I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...
A. 3 June 2008: I'll be the elephant in the crystal shop. Ehem. Have you heard about "coitus interruptus"? That is when the man pulls his penis out, so he "won't get the girl pregnant". We all know this is no good, because some semen does get into the girl ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is having trouble letting go of the fact I wasn't a virgin!
Q. My boyfriend of six months is having troubles letting go the fact that I wasn't a virgin before we started dating. I was totally honest with him when we first started dating that i wasn't a virgin coming out of a year relationship with someone else. ...
A. 3 June 2008: I would go for the jugular, dear poster:
A) Sorry. You're a virgin only once. That can't be changed.
B) He knew you were not a virgin.
C) Having slept with someone else doesn't make you a bad person, just like not having slept with anybody doe... (read in full...)
Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?
Q. I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...
A. 3 June 2008: Ask_Oldersister pointed to a good alternative. However, if they wanted to be really sure, wouldn't they use a condom?... (read in full...)
Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?
Q. I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...
A. 2 June 2008: "Normal" is a word that I frown on defining. Is it "normal" to eat pork? For a hell of a lot of people, it isn't. "Usual" seems a better word here.
I suppose that many younger guys do ejaculate on their girl's bellies. It's not necessar... (read in full...)
Is he cheating? I'm blonde but I'm not stupid!
Q. My partner and I have been together for six months. We're both late forties and although we don't yet live together, consider ourselves a committed couple. Whilst using his computer I discovered he's been indulging in sexual activities on-line with ...
A. 16 October 2007: I'm with Happytochat. This is cheating. He told you a stupid lie about his computer. His running the antivirus proves he's the kind of man who would make up and elaborate lie, and act on it. OF COURSE he has done all that himself!
I don't th... (read in full...)
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