A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:What would you do if you gave your mate an STD? Would you stay with them even if your relationship had many problems - but you do love this person?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 Don't worry; no one needs to know what disease it is. I do think it's a chronic disease, and then one that affects you little by little, or you would have known before.
Most likely you got this disease from someone else but didn't know when, and then didn't think something serious was the matter.
I understand his being upset, because the disease has no cure. However, and this is important, you didn't give him the disease on purpose. You can't be considered responsible for something you didn't know you had.
You seem to have a difficult relationship, and I'm sure the disease will add to the problems. But, if you have feelings for each other, you can find a way to solve one problem at a time. The most difficult part can be starting it.
I would start by making him see that you didn't know you had the disease, and that it hurts you when he tells all about it to everyone. Then you can move to other problems.
I wish to help you with the rest of your problems. If you want, you can post another update, or you can e-mail me. For that I would need more information.
Perhaps you can post a different question, tomorrow morning or Monday morning, and that way you would get more points of view, not only mine.
Wish you the best.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe'll for a while I knew something was wrong with me but wasn't true what was going on in my body. So I found out in the middle of our relationship. However, I want to talk more about my relationship. So many other things happened, for instance, we always argue, he's always so angry and don't care to tell people that I gave him the disease (don't want to say what it is but it is not HIV but it has no cure). Many things haven't worked out because we are always arguing. He doesn't respect me,but he tries sometimes, but it seems that it is hard for him to do. I stay in the relationship now only because I have feelings for him, but because the STD. I don't want to contract any other diseases by sleeping with others and also affected someone else. He wants us to get married but we are always depressed and agruing. It bothers him, I could tell but he is a very angry person not only about alot that's happened in this relationship, but I don't know what to do. I am very depressed and it's hard to talk to him, but we do have a great sex life and feelings for each other.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 May 2008):
Ooops! I didn't notice you say "you gave your mate an STD".
It doesn't seem like this is the real question.
What happened? There's a hell of a lot of history behind this information. If you don't want to talk about this in public, can you send me a private message?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 May 2008):
I think it would help if I knew what sort of an STD this is, and how long you've been together.
If it were HPV, then perhaps I would give the girl the benefit of the doubt. HPV can remain like dormant for many years. I could think that maybe she got it from someone a long time ago, and now it resurfaced.
If it were the primary stage of, say, syphilis, and that girl and I had been together for four months, then I would have the unquestionable proof that she slept with someone else. In that case, I would leave her.
Can you give us more information?
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