A
female
age
41-50,
*moreax
writes:I need some help I Have been with my hubby for 8 years and just got married last year. He has a myspace account and there was this girl leaving him message about how fine he was and she had him as her number on there and i asked him who this was he was like a friend i new for h.s. i left it alone there and then one day a guy was talking to my sister and he was telling her i know this girl name sarah that is sleeping with your sister hubby and started telling her that he tells this girl he married me for our son and his leaving me soon and she has nothing to worry about cause he doesn't live with me and on and on so my sister told me and i conforted him he said that it's not true that is he said she said and i shouldn't be listing to that. He stated they are just friends well i left it alone again then when the cell bill came in i thought i would take a look at the numbers which i never do and there was this one number on there over and over so i called it and said is this sarah she said yes and i said thank you and hung up.i than called him and asked him why he was calling this girl so much and I never heard anything about this friend until now. He was like I should of told ypu i didn't think it was a big deal. The number was on there 98 times in one billing period more than he calls me. He is three hours away from me working at a new job and i am moving up there soon well maybe not now. After the bill i asked him to not call her as much i dont agree with this relationship he said ok that was that and then one day she changes all her stuff on her myspace to things that were like im spoiled by your man and tell your man i said thanks so then i was like that is kinda strange she would change her layout to say all this kinda stuff during all of this to something that makes u think. So i message her and asked if there was something going on with her nad my husband and she never wrote back. Then during this period i talked to this guy who is goodfriends with this girl telling me they have been dating for a year and she goes to upper va and visit him and how she said she was never leaving him because she loves the sex and i was like this is enough with all this drama so i asked my hubby again about all this and still denied i asked him to remove her off of his friends page and he was like that wouldn't change all this so why? I told him he is chosing her over this family i am not asking for much but you to stop talking to her and take her off your myspace page because i don't want to see her comments or her face on his page and he can't even do that. I don't know what to think or what to do please help.... I do know i am sad and my kids are seeing that and i never wanted them to go through this in there lives.
View related questions:
affair, myspace, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): For an absolute START, your husband should obey your wishes of wanting her removed from myspace. To him it may not 'change anything,' but your whole security and belief in him relies on him deleting her. I'm sorry to be brutal, but quite literally he is not thinking of your feelings here at all.
That alone is a huge cause for concern without anything else. If he cannot be willing to do anything to make you feel comfortable. Then is this the man you really want??
I personally would give him an ultimateum about deleting her. The reason for not, appears, so that Sarah won't be upset. But what about the feelings of his own wife! It's infuriating. I have a social networking site, and there are things in place to delete friends AND block them, so that no communication can be made by either party. He needs to do this so you will be rest-assured that she was just a friend, but you are the one he loves.
Unfortunatley, i think, if he can't do something as petty and insignigficant than to delete this friend for you, then you have some real issues.
This girl seems out to get you, the way she posted her site in dedication to her relationship with your husband. It's very very sad, and you need to be stronger than her, no matter what happens.
Do not consider any hear say or rumour as evidence of your husband's infidelety. Maybe Sarah has got a side-kick to throw the Ores in. None of this is evidence. So don't concern yourself with it.
Play with what you've got, and in this case, if he feels a stupid Myspace account and his friends there, is more important than his wife and children. The you need to seriously reconsider staying with this man.
Harsh as it is.
Good luck!!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 May 2008):
 Poster, I can only speak on the basis of what you're telling here. I will try to do my best.
I believe your husband has had both you and that other girl for some time. He married you, but he hasn't given her up. Maybe there is a legitimate reason to call someone 98 times in a month, but the one that comes more quickly to my mind is a relationship. I assume all 98 times happened when you were not there, or you would know.
If I had a close friend, I would want my girl to know all about her, so I could keep the friend without my girl getting worried about her. Your husband didn't do this. His saying "I should have told you" smells of a very bad excuse that he quickly made up when you discovered the thing.
The guy who talked to your sister about Sarah must have heard this story somewhere. I tend not to believe gossip, but this one is hard to miss.
I don't know about Myspace (I don't find that interesting), but I have seen other people's pages. It's not true that "nothing" would change if he removed her things from there; she put them up for a reason, and he wouldn't want to upset her.
The worst about problems of this sort is that you rarely have an unquestionable evidence. You have what I would call "hints", and you always feel you're going too far in your assumptions. But I think this time we can suppose your husband was indeed seeing that woman, and perhaps he still is.
I guess you have to think carefully what you will do.
...............................
|
