A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:what signs should I be looking for, I think that my husband is cheating on me with his co-worker while being away on business. I have no solid evidence but something in my stomach says it. how do i go about knowing if i am right or wrong?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): re to my post:
Im not that strong and I know that all of you are uggsting to keep my head up high. He said that he wul get back to me since I wanted to talk to him but I was dooped. I feel awful. It is affecting my nerves and im so stressed out. I tried everything to reduce my stress and anxiety, writing out the problem and finding a solution to it, also doing things that can my mind occupied but its all creeping in the back still!!Help
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Hi, I think that I would go at this a little different than, perhaps you are thinking, confronting him and all. Here is what I would do, I say this because if he does tell you, if you ask him, that yes he is sleeping with his co-worker, then, what is your plan,can you stay with him, trust him, suppose he says at that point , he wants a divorce because you forced the issue. Can you handle that? Think anout the various scenarios, be ready for what will happen should you confront him. Now then, I would suggrest a romantic dinner out, when he gets back from the business trip. Stop worrying, if you can about what is going on, if they are sleeping together you can't change that at this point, You only make yourself sicker. If they are not, then you are worrying about nothing. Back to the dinner, fix yourself up, with the best, most flattering outfit you have. You are goingto flirt with him as if you were not married and are still dating, make him look at you again and see who he fell in love with, refresh the relationship. Make him feel special, be adament about his sex appeal, make him feel younger, men need their egos stroked, if you understand what I mean. You give him something to come home for, stimulate your man, why should he go somewhere else, when he has all he needs at home. Suprise him, by wearing nothing under a trench coat with a candlelight dinner at home. He will be so thrown off kilter, he will not want you going anywhere else to satisfy yourself but to him. Trick him in a way by reversing everything, you don't worry about him, he worries about you. You will have him rushing hometo see what you have cooked up tonight. He will go out of town less, you obviously love this man, so, fight for him.Become a "femme fatale", it shoiuld be fun. If he can resistyour allure, then turn him loose, but I am banking on the relationship regaining its sparkle. Stop worrying and start coniving, be smart about it all. You may after all be wrong, and either way, your life will be more interesting. Good Luck, let us know the outcome.
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Women do seem to have these intuitions and the bit about her not having a room seems a bit far fetched. Give him chance to explain and dont stew on this while he is away - easier said than done i know. Confront him with your fears but you have to decide whether or not you are going to believe him when he returns home. I hope you can work this out and if you love him you may have to decide whether or not you can forgive him and move on x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): addition to my post.
So i called him and he acted funny on the phone while in his hotel room. I asked if he was alone and said yes and rudely hanged up on me in front of her, so much respect for his wife.
Hours later, I get through to him, he admits that she was there because she "didnt have a room so needed to leave her bag until she got one".
He claims he has done nothing wrong with her. I dont believe him at all. during the time we were talking on the phone he gets a hotel call so he picks up while he puts his mobile down but then he ends our call. Then he calls back saying he dd noting wrong. I dont believe it.
They just got there, will be away for few weeks. And im just balling into tears aqnd cant cope with it.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 If you give us a list of things you've noticed, then perhaps we could give you a better opinion.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Can I be honest? 15 years ago I had the same suspisions and I was right. However, looking back (after our divorce as a result of this) there were a lot of things that I did wrong. I was controlling with the finances, I did not want sex after our baby was born, I was a mouthy, bossy bitch - any wonder he strayed. God, how I regret this. I am not saying that you are the same, but sweetheart, look at yourself and if you think you have similar traits, stop now! A man wants sex, a woman who makes the most of herself and above all, someone who worships him. Trust me honey, you can still be a strong lady whilst still giving this. Try this for one month - if nothing has changeed then you are probably right and he is a .... Good luck
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A
female
reader, Rhian2020 +, writes (4 May 2008):
Hello,
If you have a 'gut feeling' then maybe your right. You've got to trust your own instinct. Has his attitude/ behaviour changed towards you? Has he gone off sex/wants more sex. Try bringing her up in a conversation and watch how he reacts. I wouldn't normally advise this but check his emails or his mobile. You could turn up at his work place and see for yourself if there's any chemistry between them. You could ask friends whether they know anything. Maybe it is a good idea if you check his/your bank statements to see if any money has been going missing on things like gifts for her for example. Or you could sit him down and ask him outright. You can't ignore this, it'll make you ill if you keep on worrying. Tell him he has to be honest with you because if he is sleeping with his co-worker then your sexual health could be in danger. If he has been cheating then only you can decide whether you want to stay with him. If he hasn't cheated with his co-worker then you must learn to trust him. What's a relationship without trust?
Good luck.xx.
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