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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I don't trust him Am I going paranoid?
Q. hey my boyfriend has had a very bad past. he has had a lot of girls that slept with him and co he was a bit of a player. he was really tempted to luk at girls n touch them and he was a real flirt. ive bin 4 him 4 3 years now and he says that he ...
A. 9 May 2008: I don't think you're going paranoid, dear poster. I think you're simply beginning to realize that your boyfriend's behavior offers little guarantees. You know that he could flirt and touch other girls any moment, which is a way to say that you're ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to break-up but wants to experience "Single Life"?
Q. My partner and I are both deeply in love with one another. We have known each other now for 5 years, and are very serious with one another. She has told me that she would like to marry me, and spend her life with me. I would like the same. However, ...
A. 8 May 2008: Well, man, I'm sorry, deeply sorry, for you. I will not make another post here. I did what I could.
When you end up heartbroken and miserably used, you'll remember me, and say "I was such a dunce for not paying attention to that bastard"... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to break-up but wants to experience "Single Life"?
Q. My partner and I are both deeply in love with one another. We have known each other now for 5 years, and are very serious with one another. She has told me that she would like to marry me, and spend her life with me. I would like the same. However, ...
A. 8 May 2008: I know how painful this situation can be for you, so I will give you the most honest and wholehearted advice I can give you.
Break up with her right away, and don't ever turn back.
I know I will look like a bastard without feelings, but I'... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what to do other than give her the space she needs right now?
Q. My girlfriend seems to have lost interest lately: not wanting to talk as often, not writing letters or wanting to webcam like we used to(long-distance relationship) and just seems generally distant overall. She says she just needs space for herself ...
A. 8 May 2008: Fear of losing someone you love might always be there, if you think about it. There's never true certainy that the person you love will never stop loving you. That's all the more difficult if your relationship is based in her wanting to be with ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is having a cyber affair!
Q. I think my husband is having a cyber affair from his work computer which I cannot access. He is on travel, and appears online claiming to be working very late at night. How can I go about seeing that he is telling the truth or not? ...
A. 7 May 2008: If this is all the information you have, I'm afraid I can't agree that he's having a cyber affair.... (read in full...)
I keep miscarrying, why can't I stay pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone, I feel like i'm about to just break down and just die it's tearing me apart that i can't ever stay pregnant, or get pregnant when i want! I was 5 weeks pregnant and i have no idea why i have miscarriages. Its tearing me apart, i dont...
A. 7 May 2008: I think your doctor should tell you whether there's something that makes you miscarry. I wonder if he hasn't.... (read in full...)
How will I know which is the right condom to use?
Q. I need to know what type of condom is good to wear while having sexual intercourse?...
A. 7 May 2008: I think sex at your age can bring many inconveniences to you, but I know there's no stopping a young guy who wants sex, so I will make a few comments. Better a young guy buying his condoms than a young guy and a young girl having a baby, or a ... (read in full...)
What's the definition of adultery?
Q. Technical question - Are you committing adultery if you aren't the married person in the affair? If you are the girlfriend of a married man, are you still considered to be an adulteress? And would you only be his mistress if he supported you in ...
A. 7 May 2008: I agree with Oldersister. The good think is that none of us is among those just slurping it up.
I think there's a reason for all this chit-chat. Being called "adulterous" or "mistress" feels derogatory. This woman wants to be just that, bu... (read in full...)
She says she is getting "tired down there". Is this because she is dry or her organ is fatigued?
Q. I have a question about fingering a girl. Theres this girl I've been fingering and sometimes she orgasms and others not. But the times when she doesn't she claims that after a while she is getting "tired downstairs" so I'm wondering if that means ...
A. 7 May 2008: Here's my suggestion, in honor of a sage lady:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-to-young-men-about-young-women.html
... (read in full...)
She said she's been "attached" too long and wants to be single and have some space...
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 years, everything was going well till year 3 when she wanted her space, at that time she never really got it and things went back to normal. Last weekend she just broke it off, she said that she ...
A. 6 May 2008: One more thing. Your female friends are telling you that she is giving you excuses. Men don't understand women, but women have the great ability to understand each other. So, if these female friends of yours are telling you that these are ... (read in full...)
She said she's been "attached" too long and wants to be single and have some space...
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 years, everything was going well till year 3 when she wanted her space, at that time she never really got it and things went back to normal. Last weekend she just broke it off, she said that she ...
A. 6 May 2008: I believe it is a lost cause. Or, rather, I don't think there's anything you can do to win her heart back. If you had that chance, she'd be telling you to change this or that. Since she's informing you she's leaving, I don't think that's ... (read in full...)
Is an 8 year age gap a major one?
Q. I am dating a boy 8 years older than me. Will this be called age difference? I mean relationship with major age difference or this is normal as normal as when one is just 4 years older??? Any comments??...
A. 6 May 2008: In your case, the gap may not be that significant. If you're 21, he's 29; if you're 18, then he's 26. If you're just starting college, however, and he has already ended it and is looking for further studies, that can be a problem. I think it's ... (read in full...)
What's the definition of adultery?
Q. Technical question - Are you committing adultery if you aren't the married person in the affair? If you are the girlfriend of a married man, are you still considered to be an adulteress? And would you only be his mistress if he supported you in ...
A. 6 May 2008: I don't know if you, dear poster, are just looking for the information, or want to define a situation. I think it's the latter.
Whatever way you look at it, and whatever name you give to it, sleeping with a married person is wrong. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
She says she is getting "tired down there". Is this because she is dry or her organ is fatigued?
Q. I have a question about fingering a girl. Theres this girl I've been fingering and sometimes she orgasms and others not. But the times when she doesn't she claims that after a while she is getting "tired downstairs" so I'm wondering if that means ...
A. 6 May 2008: When she says that she's getting tired, she's telling you like it is: she's not enjoying it. You didn't please her those times.... (read in full...)
Should we get it on with each other while her fiancee is away?
Q. Hi, I have a kinda tricky situation here...Any advice would be really helpful.. I've got a female friend called Sam...she's 18..We've been great friends for 3 years now and we connect on everything so well. However shes engaged now...and bac...
A. 6 May 2008: The answer from the moral brigade: You don't sleep with engaged women.
A hard fact: you never sleep with anybody's woman without causing hurt. Maybe the guy never gets to know it, but you did him a terrible wrong anyways.
The answer fr... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't believe in marriage but will he eventually marry me?
Q. HELP! I have been seeing a guy for 2 years now. He used to talk about getting married sometime in the future (neither of us was ready in the early stages) but now he has told me that he doesn't believe in marriage and he won't marry me. At this ...
A. 6 May 2008: I have come across this question three times already, and I've been learning each time.
Just for the sake of clarity, and without the intention of defending anyone, I have to say that not marrying you doesn't necessarily mean that a man can't lo... (read in full...)
Is it possible for best friends to one day become more than friends?
Q. I have a friend and she told me recnetley that she i am her best friend. I like her in a way that is more than friends and she knows this but she has a boyfriend. Is being the best friend a bad thing if i ever want to date her in case she breaks ...
A. 6 May 2008: Being a friend is not a bad thing. Liking her isn't, either. But trying to approach anyone who is married, engaged, whatever, is not right. Of course I can understand your feelings for her: you don't get to love someone only if they are not in a ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says there are hotter girls than me. How can I feel better about myself now?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going through a rough patch lately... I asked him if he was still with me just because of the sex (because it seems it's the time he enjoys the most when he's with me), so he said: "Look, there are hotter girls tha...
A. 6 May 2008: "Hotter" is relative. What a man finds hot, another does not. And then, some women get hotter when you get to know them well. Stop comparing yourself to other girls; you're who you are, and that's a lot.
Maybe you can tell your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Why can't I find a woman who knows what she wants or what she deserves?
Q. I hear all the time from women (those I date and those I don't) things like "You're the perfect guy," and "you're a great guy," And "You're a good man," "a rare breed," and my personal favorite (NOT) "You're too good to be true," always the death ...
A. 5 May 2008: Well, poster, if you are this good a man, I'm afraid I can't help you. I will only continue to reflect why bad-mouthed heavy-drinkers, who cheat at the bat of an eye, always have them by the hundreds.
I very much understand you, because I have a... (read in full...)
After a long relationship I want to finish it, but how, without hurting his feelings?
Q. Hi All I am into a so-called "great relationship" for outsiders( friend who envy me) for the past 4 years. I am a bit manly in my thinking but a soft pity corner for him. I know at this point of life ,if i leave him i`ll be fine and maybe great....
A. 5 May 2008: There is no easy way to dump this guy. First, because dumping a person is never easy for the dumped, and, sometimes, for the dumpee, either. Second, because he seems to have become dependent on you.
All you can do is present him with the simp... (read in full...)
I normally know how to please a woman so what I'm I doing wrong here?
Q. well i have plenty of experience when it comes to pleasing a woman.. i don't wanna sound cocky bc i am young and i have things to learn but we are very much in love and as you know in a relationship you want to please your partner.. well i know what ...
A. 5 May 2008: You have the great fortune of a woman that tells you she isn't getting anything from your lovemaking. It would be way worse if she didn't say anything and her insatisfaction just stewed.
There is great advice in the site, but I think you should g... (read in full...)
What do you do if your best friend is dating your brother?
Q. What do you do if your best friend is dating your brother?...
A. 5 May 2008: You mind your own business.... (read in full...)
Why can't I find a woman who knows what she wants or what she deserves?
Q. I hear all the time from women (those I date and those I don't) things like "You're the perfect guy," and "you're a great guy," And "You're a good man," "a rare breed," and my personal favorite (NOT) "You're too good to be true," always the death ...
A. 5 May 2008: Where it reads "something these women have missed" it should read "something these women don't like". I apologize; English is not my native language.... (read in full...)
Why can't I find a woman who knows what she wants or what she deserves?
Q. I hear all the time from women (those I date and those I don't) things like "You're the perfect guy," and "you're a great guy," And "You're a good man," "a rare breed," and my personal favorite (NOT) "You're too good to be true," always the death ...
A. 5 May 2008: We all feel that way sometime.
Sometimes a woman doesn't really know what she wants. She finds a great guy, or a guy that's perfect for her, but, unaware as she is of this fact, she lets him go. That happens with men, too. But, if all the wome... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has intense feelings for another woman. Is this a big problem him having a picture of her?
Q. My boyfriend has had feelings for his old high school friend/my friend for the last 5 years. We've talked a lot about this situation, and the conclusion is always, I'm crazy and he doesn't know how to get rid of these feelings. I really don't think ...
A. 5 May 2008: You're not over-reacting. He has an attachment that should be gone by now.
I'm with Mrs. Bear. He should concentrate on you. Otherwise, you should have reasons to worry where you really stand with him.... (read in full...)
How do you know when a guy no longer wants to be in relationship but is too afraid to let you down?
Q. I'm feeling stuck and sad. When it comes to my boyfriend, I can't figure out what he wants anymore. He's one of those people who HATES to hurt others. We fell in love 2 years ago. We hit it off so well. We could talk for hours and he was certain I ...
A. 5 May 2008: He may have felt it wrong to carry the "burden" of the relationship. His not showing emotions now that you're leaving can be understood in a different way: he is hurt that you're leaving for so long, but can't complain, so he shows no feelings ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend an ABUSER?
Q. I am confused about whether of not my bf is abusive. Please tell me what you think. We haven’t been dating for long (just under 2 months) so part of him is still putting on the perfect guy act I think, but I feel that maybe these little things that ...
A. 5 May 2008: Dear, I didn't even finish reading. I was sure about this with just a little of what you wrote.
My sincere advice: RUN FOR THE HILLS. Don't waste another minute with him. He will make you miserable.... (read in full...)
I've always liked him too, but I have a boyfriend! What to do?
Q. Please help me, im so confused. Ive been with my bf for nearly a year but even though i love him dearly we have drifted apart a bit, and i dont feel like he loves me anymore. I got talking to an old school friend (male) who moved miles aw...
A. 5 May 2008: I think you should clarify where you stand in your relationship: whether your boyfriend loves you, whether he wants a relationship with you, whether YOU want a relationship with him, et cetera.
And then, after you get that sorted out, you can ... (read in full...)
I feel powerless about arguing about his other dates as I am just a friend... with benefits! How will these feelings go away?
Q. Im utterly in love with someone i know isnt going anywhere and never will, it started off as a one night stand two years ago and then a few more since then we have become the best of friends going everywhere together holidays to festivals constantly ...
A. 5 May 2008: It is very sad, but the feelings won't go away if you are near him. And he won't ever make you the One.
The only advice I can honestly give is that you forget about this man, and get him out of your life. Don't give in to bitterness, don't le... (read in full...)
She did consent to what we did. But she was drunk as I, too, was. I feel tremendous guilt!
Q. There's this girl I've known since I was little and deeply care for and respect. This weekend all our friends went to a party and we came back to my place drunk. We slept on my bed and did pretty much everything except sex. I feel so guilty I don'...
A. 5 May 2008: The big lesson is that you should make sure that none of you has drunk too much to make things move into a grey area.... (read in full...)
I want us to live together but how can that happen if he is reluctant to even see me?? He says he feels pressurised, I think he is not used to being in a serious relation!
Q. I've been in a relationship for nearly 2 years now. He's 23 and i'm 22. I met him online and we met almost instantly despite me living in Manchester and him in London. 8 Months in to the relationship I decided to move down here to be with him. ...
A. 5 May 2008: I think we should be responsible when giving opinions. If there are gaps in the information, we shouldn't assume anything.
I think there can be more than one explanation for his making himself unavailable, but, whatever it is, it seems so bad. ... (read in full...)
What is the strangest place to have sex?
Q. Sorry for all the questions on here but I enjoy hearing everyone's comments on things, it makes you look at everything so much differently. The world is so diverse it is amazing. But as for my question. Where is the wierdest place any of you...
A. 5 May 2008: Right, Wizard!... (read in full...)
What is the strangest place to have sex?
Q. Sorry for all the questions on here but I enjoy hearing everyone's comments on things, it makes you look at everything so much differently. The world is so diverse it is amazing. But as for my question. Where is the wierdest place any of you...
A. 5 May 2008: In a mangrove forest?... (read in full...)
What am I doing wrong that I can't get a girlfriend?
Q. Hi... I'm 20 almost 21 and and I have never had any girlfriend, nor have I kissed, hugged, touched hands... etc, etc... And it's driving me insane!... when i see the couples on the park i just turn around... I'm on med school, I speak 5 langua...
A. 5 May 2008: Paisano, you're what they call a "nice guy" in English. You're doing MANY things the wrong way. Your question comes up very often and I found a link in which women tell you what you're doing wrong.
Here it is:
http://www.he... (read in full...)
How do I convince her she needs to grow up and work on this relationship with me?
Q. Dear Cupid.... I have been with the same woman for 4 years and we are still living with her mother If anyone out there knows how tough that can be I sympathize. I can never get her to admit when she has done something that hurt me because ...
A. 5 May 2008: Oops! This is not against you. I think you're a great guy who just needs a little shaking to react.... (read in full...)
How do I convince her she needs to grow up and work on this relationship with me?
Q. Dear Cupid.... I have been with the same woman for 4 years and we are still living with her mother If anyone out there knows how tough that can be I sympathize. I can never get her to admit when she has done something that hurt me because ...
A. 5 May 2008: Yep, I can understand you, wounded. My father has a saying that is very true for some mothers: "life gives you only one mother, but sometimes it seems it gave you many. And then they become mother-in-laws".
In this case, however, you don't ha... (read in full...)
Am I the only one that has breasts like this? It makes me insecure!
Q. I have a question. I am insecure about my breasts. I have large breasts which men love, but the colored part around my nipple seems realy big to me compared to other breasts i've seen. Does it matter. Do men prefer one or the other? Am I the only ...
A. 5 May 2008: Boobs are boobs, yes, but that is a hell of a lot :-).... (read in full...)
I had a sex-only relationship but now I want more. I'm lost. What should I do?
Q. I have a sex only relationship wit this guy. I got the idea he didn't wanna be all serious so I told him we can just call each other for those reasons. Before I didn't wanna go to the movies or dinner wit him cause I just go out an relationship now ...
A. 4 May 2008: I'm always against hints. By their very nature, they can be interpreted in more than one way.
If you're confident enough to have sex with this guy, I think you shouldn't feel afraid of telling him that you want a relationship.
You need to g... (read in full...)
I've always gone for "bad boys" so should I give this "nice guy" a chance?
Q. I'm a single woman in my fifties. I would really like to have a partner, and have had various relationships over the last few years. The problem is that the guys I usually go for are the ones who have a spark of danger about them. And I have got ...
A. 4 May 2008: Adding and substracting everything, the end result is that this guy isn't attractive; you're only positive that he won't mistreat you like the other guys did. That should be important, but it's not enough as basis for a relationship. Physical ... (read in full...)
It's too much. He keeps flirting with me and I know he has a girlfriend. What should I do?
Q. He's a coworker and his GF works there too but in another department. We had usually being friends but mostly work things, we had never interested in each other, in fact I never even considered him before. But lately, he has change with me, I didn't...
A. 4 May 2008: He took your asking about his girlfriend as a sign of interest. What he said, in his own peculiar way, was that he wants to marry his girlfriend but wouldn't mind cheating on her with you.
If you want him to stop flirting, tell him you have not... (read in full...)
Do you think he wants a relationship with me or not?
Q. I've been in a relationship with this man for 10 months. We have similar marital histories so there was a lot of understanding between us. He has never said he loved me though I believe he has strong feelings for me. He would mention our old age. we ...
A. 4 May 2008: Either he isn't sure of having a relationship with you, or he knows what he wants but is aware it's not what you want. Like adinl said, don't call him again. Not because we love the chase (if the prey is too difficult, we settle for another) but ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one that has breasts like this? It makes me insecure!
Q. I have a question. I am insecure about my breasts. I have large breasts which men love, but the colored part around my nipple seems realy big to me compared to other breasts i've seen. Does it matter. Do men prefer one or the other? Am I the only ...
A. 4 May 2008: You're not the only one with areolas like that.
Some of us like big areolas (I had a friend who had a thing for them), some of us like them smaller, and some of us like them all the time, whatever their size.
Don't worry.... (read in full...)
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