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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I love my children, but should I divorce?
Q. My wife of 14 years asked for a divorce. She is still in love with her first love. We have 2 children ages 10 and 13. After a year and long fights she wants me back and says she made a mistake and still loves me. This has happened twice before ...
A. 2 May 2008: When I see a case of divorce, I always try to look at it from the point of view of children first. Children are the weakest in a family, and quite often they don't know how to cope with the events of their lives or how to describe them.
I wil... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend?
Q. is it wrong to fall in love with your best friend- or have a crush on them? by the way i am a girl and my best friend is a girl. help!...
A. 2 May 2008: You're asking a different question here. The question is not whether you can fall for your best friend; that often happens. The question is whether a girl can fall for another girl. No. That's human nature.... (read in full...)
He wrote to his ex girlfriend. How can I trust him now?
Q. I am not sure how to regain trust in my relationship? My fiance was writing to his ex girlfriend a couple months ago, he says she owed him 200 dollars, when I accidentally seen the letter he was wishing her a happy birthday and asking her why she ...
A. 2 May 2008: Ooops! Also, his comment about her being online means they have had their chats. I would have expected otherwise, I guess. Did you know about her existence? Did they stay friends?... (read in full...)
He wrote to his ex girlfriend. How can I trust him now?
Q. I am not sure how to regain trust in my relationship? My fiance was writing to his ex girlfriend a couple months ago, he says she owed him 200 dollars, when I accidentally seen the letter he was wishing her a happy birthday and asking her why she ...
A. 2 May 2008: The story doesn't seem to add up. I know that sometimes people stay friends with their exes, but I assume that this debt, if it exists, is very old. Old enough for you to have met, liked each other, begun a relationship, and engage. I don't think ... (read in full...)
The woman manager at my husband's work is being rude to me. Is there a real problem?
Q. I called my husband's cell phone at a time when I knew he was on break to tell him a friend wanted to come over tonight and ask him what time he was getting off work. The manager of his shop where he works answered (a female) and she said "Bra...
A. 2 May 2008: You do have a point: the fact that she's your husband's boss doesn't mean she can be rude to you. Everyone deserves respect.
And it's also true that he should have stood for you and him. I know it's difficult to tell your boss somethin... (read in full...)
Please help me, my wife wants a divorce, and I don't!
Q. so my wife and i have been together for 5yrs maried for 4. i love her to death i know you shouldnt say that but i do recently she asked me what i thought if she were to tell me i wanted a divorce. i told her she was crazy that she needed help. we ...
A. 2 May 2008: It seems she is very much determined to divorce. Sometimes you need to be brave: holding on to the love that used to exist is like prolonging your agony. I'm sorry to say that this is one of such times. If she wants to go, let her go, as quickly ... (read in full...)
I'm dating her but I don't understand her!! How can I figure her out?
Q. Hello. I've been seeing a girl for about 8 months now, and to be honest, I just don't feel like I know her very well at all. Maybe I'm just being obtuse but, there are things about her I don't understand/know how to deal with, and I'd REALLY a...
A. 2 May 2008: You know what? You've got to be strong this time. Tell her that she can call you when she's in a better mood. And mean it.... (read in full...)
Should I wait for her to break up with her current boyfriend? She loves him but we have a history together!
Q. I dated a girl in college during my senior year for about 6 months. I ended it since I felt I needed to get out and have a crazy time during my last months in college and felt she would hold me back (she was underage). She didn't take it well, since ...
A. 2 May 2008: "tirer la serviette".... (read in full...)
Should I wait for her to break up with her current boyfriend? She loves him but we have a history together!
Q. I dated a girl in college during my senior year for about 6 months. I ended it since I felt I needed to get out and have a crazy time during my last months in college and felt she would hold me back (she was underage). She didn't take it well, since ...
A. 2 May 2008: "throw the towel", sorry. If you want to understand me better, "tirar la toalla", "atirar a toalha".
:-). Zorry. Inglish is not my neitiv tongue.... (read in full...)
Should I wait for her to break up with her current boyfriend? She loves him but we have a history together!
Q. I dated a girl in college during my senior year for about 6 months. I ended it since I felt I needed to get out and have a crazy time during my last months in college and felt she would hold me back (she was underage). She didn't take it well, since ...
A. 2 May 2008: I think that she has told you where you stand: she loves her boyfriend a lot and couldn't leave him. That leaves you out of the game.
On the other hand, let's look beyond her words. She is finishing college and is moving away. That means sh... (read in full...)
I feel horrible and ugly due to my ex cheating. How can I improve my self esteem?
Q. I know this will be silly- but it is how I feel right now! I found out that my ex-boyfriend cheated on me the whole time we were together. He cheated on all his previous girlfriends as well. I also found a mail he wrote to his friend two years ago ...
A. 2 May 2008: You don't have to feel ugly or have a self-esteem. The basic truth is that he would have never ever had something with you if you weren't attractive at all.
Relationships are a game for him. That's his loss. Loss after loss, sometime he will rea... (read in full...)
How can I convince him that we both need to get divorced and be together as one big family, and that he has just as much rights to his kids as she does?
Q. I am married ( for almost 11 years) to a man who I thought was my soulmate, but after about 3 years into our marriage he changed. He became lazy and as if he didn't care about me at all. He almost never initiates sex anymore, and we are only ...
A. 2 May 2008: Why don't you combine my post and Ask_Oldersister's?... (read in full...)
How can I convince him that we both need to get divorced and be together as one big family, and that he has just as much rights to his kids as she does?
Q. I am married ( for almost 11 years) to a man who I thought was my soulmate, but after about 3 years into our marriage he changed. He became lazy and as if he didn't care about me at all. He almost never initiates sex anymore, and we are only ...
A. 2 May 2008: I guess we should analyze this situation in parts.
On your side of it, it seems very clear that you fell for this high school boyfriend because your marriage wasn't functioning, and apparently nothing would make it function.
We don't know about... (read in full...)
How can one use somebody for sex and NOT feel guilty??
Q. How do guys (or girls) who use someone for sex, sleep at night? I mean honestly I just dont understand how they can use someone for sex and not feel guilty at all. What makes them think its OK to use someone like that? What goes on in there mind? ...
A. 2 May 2008: There is a way you can use somebody for sex and not feel bad about it. It's called having no heart and no conscience.... (read in full...)
I don't feel like a woman because I have a small chest!
Q. I am 28 years old and am 4'10" and weigh about 95 lbs and my chest is rather small....is that a big deal for men? My husband says he doesn't care and that I'm perfect, but is he telling the truth? He's always told me that he is a "butt" man and I ...
A. 2 May 2008: Breast size does matter to some men, just as the color of your eyes, or the shape of your legs, et cetera, does matter. There are personal preferences, that's undeniable. But your question should not be whether breast size matters to "men" in ... (read in full...)
Casper the friendly ghost! I scare women without wanting to.
Q. Hi all, I am very well educated, strong, hard-working, fairly wealthy and decent looking, in my 50's yet have been without sex or companionship for almost six months. I go to dances and other social events and try to connect and hookup, but I ...
A. 2 May 2008: Poster, your problems seem to be those of a very shy man, only worse. And then, what you said about not understanding modern courting is just right. Many people are indeed confused, or Dear Cupid wouldn't exist.
I think I can only suggest ... (read in full...)
Confusion, mixed signals, what the heck?
Q. So, I told this guy that I've known for 3 years that I like him. What do I do now? Funny thing is, it wasn't even me that started this whole thing. There I was minding my own business, and wham, he blindsides me with a barrage of hi hunnies and a...
A. 2 May 2008: Yes, dear poster, you said it just right :-).
De nada (you're welcome).... (read in full...)
He literally doesn't understand that any relationship takes time to develop and I feel he's rushing me and is turning me completely off...any advice?
Q. Hello, I am really confused about this friendship I have with this guy and hope you can help me. We are both Latino, but he's 21 and I'm 23 and he's an illegal citizen. We go to the same church, but he only speaks spanish while I predominantly speak ...
A. 2 May 2008: The Sister has a point, too. He wants it his way. That's not right among us, either; your family must know this very well. And so does he.... (read in full...)
I'm dating her but I don't understand her!! How can I figure her out?
Q. Hello. I've been seeing a girl for about 8 months now, and to be honest, I just don't feel like I know her very well at all. Maybe I'm just being obtuse but, there are things about her I don't understand/know how to deal with, and I'd REALLY a...
A. 2 May 2008: Bumpy, you're not alone in having a hard time reading women :-). Lazy Guy (another contributor) found an article about how we all fail to understand them.
That said, this time I think I do understand her. Simply put, the divorce is very difficul... (read in full...)
I feel rejected because my ex is with a younger woman. Is he self destructing?
Q. Hello - two months ago I broke up with my 40 year old boyfriend but I hoped it would just be a separation. I haven't contacted him and was surprised that he hadn't contacted me but now I have found out that he is seeing a 26 year old girl. I am ...
A. 2 May 2008: It seems you feel hurt because of two things: because you expected him to return to you soon, but he didn't, and because he's dating someone younger. I understand this hurts. My advice is that you put it behind you. Move on; it's the best thing ... (read in full...)
Casper the friendly ghost! I scare women without wanting to.
Q. Hi all, I am very well educated, strong, hard-working, fairly wealthy and decent looking, in my 50's yet have been without sex or companionship for almost six months. I go to dances and other social events and try to connect and hookup, but I ...
A. 2 May 2008: I did check about Love-shyness and Asperger's, and I see your problem isn't easy.
It's difficult to give an opinion because, if I understood correctly, not only are you more than shy, but you also have trouble reading the emotional state of other... (read in full...)
Are these signs he might be opening more or that he likes me a bit?
Q. I just made a trip to Japan so I emailed I guy I like and that we kept in touch for a while now, some pictures of my trip. And he said they're were beatiful pictures and that he hasn't had the chance to go there so he hoped I had enjoyed it for both ...
A. 2 May 2008: It seems difficult to say whether he has an interest in you. His first comment, about "both" of you, is perfectly innocent. Then his talking about your being one of his favorite ladies can be interpreted in more than one way.
You need more to ... (read in full...)
Anal sex question...any advice?
Q. This is pretty embarassing for me, but..., I want to have anal sex with my bf but I have hemhroids--is it possible to still have a good time? I've been waiting for them to go away but they've been around on and off for about 7 mo. I know, I should c...
A. 2 May 2008: I think you shouldn't take that chance. You don't want to aggravate your condition or cause you more severe damage. My bet is that you wouldn't be feeling anything anyways. I suppose you would have to use some anaesthetic to avoid pain.... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 2 May 2008: Poster, I think there's an easy way out of your sorrow. Just check when the e-mail messages were sent. If they were sent two years ago, or before you were together, then you have no reason to worry.
Sometimes people are curious about visiting... (read in full...)
Girls appreciate me for my advice and maturity - but why then can't I find a relationship?
Q. Why can't I get a girlfriend? Every girl I meet loves me because of my advice and maturity, kindness and I am reliable but no matter how much they tell me to stay the way I am and that the world needs more nice guys like me I can't get a ...
A. 2 May 2008: Enzian, you're right: most of us men need a crash course in Marketing :-).... (read in full...)
Confusion, mixed signals, what the heck?
Q. So, I told this guy that I've known for 3 years that I like him. What do I do now? Funny thing is, it wasn't even me that started this whole thing. There I was minding my own business, and wham, he blindsides me with a barrage of hi hunnies and a...
A. 2 May 2008: You made me laugh, poster :-), and I love your Spanish :-) :-) :-). I guess you would only need to leave the man alone with the bull, and he would get the idea where to ram his horns :-).
:-) :-) :-)
And yes, you learn a lot if you have a fr... (read in full...)
He literally doesn't understand that any relationship takes time to develop and I feel he's rushing me and is turning me completely off...any advice?
Q. Hello, I am really confused about this friendship I have with this guy and hope you can help me. We are both Latino, but he's 21 and I'm 23 and he's an illegal citizen. We go to the same church, but he only speaks spanish while I predominantly speak ...
A. 2 May 2008: Well, you will get your answer from another Hispanic, but one who has always lived outside of the United States.
I think I must divide my answer in parts.
As you say, you can't know whether he is looking for a green card. Maybe. I unders... (read in full...)
Girls appreciate me for my advice and maturity - but why then can't I find a relationship?
Q. Why can't I get a girlfriend? Every girl I meet loves me because of my advice and maturity, kindness and I am reliable but no matter how much they tell me to stay the way I am and that the world needs more nice guys like me I can't get a ...
A. 1 May 2008: Yes, you're right. You're the typical "nice guy". There is something wrong with you if every girl you meet wants you for a friend only. It means that girls like you but, in the end, they don't find you a good match. That's why they go back to ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 1 May 2008: I guess you're feeling that you have a lot to gain if you stay with him. Maybe; I can't tell you what would happen. You need to think carefully.
Maybe you should tell him what you found out. Otherwise, it will bring you problems in the futu... (read in full...)
Am I a slut? I need to know if this is normal for teenagers to do.
Q. when i was 16 years old i dated my brothers friend,i dint like him that much cause he wasnt that gorgeous and i dint like his nature either..he wanted to have sex with me but i dint agree as i said i dint like him..i did not kiss or make out with ...
A. 1 May 2008: I see no problems here, other than the fact that you should have a more positive image of yourself.... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 1 May 2008: I guess that snooping is the least important problem here. Maybe he is serious about marrying you and all that, but it's still true that he wants sex on the side.
Think what you will do.... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 1 May 2008: I checked the site and it seems to be a very cheap one. Pretty crude, or so I think. There is no question what he wants from it, as the site makes it very clear. You're there, you're "up for a shag".
In my opinion, engaged people shouldn'... (read in full...)
Confusion, mixed signals, what the heck?
Q. So, I told this guy that I've known for 3 years that I like him. What do I do now? Funny thing is, it wasn't even me that started this whole thing. There I was minding my own business, and wham, he blindsides me with a barrage of hi hunnies and a...
A. 1 May 2008: That sure is an evil grin :-). I'm not sure what it means but I'm sure I like it :-).... (read in full...)
Do I love my ex husband? Sex made it worse.
Q. Ok this one might be a little tough, but here I go! I been divorced for almost 5 years now. I left him becasue I wasn't ready ( I was only 19), I know yes that was wrong of me. So a week ago he moved back to his hometown, where I'm at also. We w...
A. 1 May 2008: I'm not sure I understand your situation correctly.
It seems to me that you divorced your husband a long time ago, you two had your relationships, and then you met again, started talking and had sex. That is more or less clear. Then, you ment... (read in full...)
My wife wants to be painted nude. Is this normal?
Q. Hi my wife would like to have a nude painting done of her and is quite turned on by that fact that people will see it. is this normal or what...
A. 1 May 2008: "Normal" is sometimes a tricky word. I'm sure she wants people to see her naked. I'm not sure if this is "usual".
I suppose she should take into consideration that you find this disturbing.... (read in full...)
Confusion, mixed signals, what the heck?
Q. So, I told this guy that I've known for 3 years that I like him. What do I do now? Funny thing is, it wasn't even me that started this whole thing. There I was minding my own business, and wham, he blindsides me with a barrage of hi hunnies and a...
A. 1 May 2008: I have to say I made a mistake in my opinion about this man.
I thought it was clear he was a player, but also a person capable of more elevated thoughts and actions. He's obviously not. This is not a man who first checks what effect his actions ... (read in full...)
Do I love my ex husband? Sex made it worse.
Q. Ok this one might be a little tough, but here I go! I been divorced for almost 5 years now. I left him becasue I wasn't ready ( I was only 19), I know yes that was wrong of me. So a week ago he moved back to his hometown, where I'm at also. We w...
A. 1 May 2008: I mean, how has the relationship changed?... (read in full...)
How can I avoid having an affair with this woman at work?
Q. I'm married and have a baby but I've been attracted to this woman at work for a few years, and I believe she is attracted to me as well. I don't plan on breaking my marriage vows, but I can't get her off my mind. Any suggestions on how to stop ...
A. 1 May 2008: I would say it should just take the decision not to get involved with her.... (read in full...)
I was shocked when my friend told me she was no longer a virgin.
Q. Yesterday my best friend told me a secret. She told me that she wasn't a virgin anymore. I was in total shock. I thought she knew better than to do something like that. I don't know how to explain it, but ever since she told me that she wasn't a ...
A. 1 May 2008: You should do nothing. That's her business. ... (read in full...)
Are all guys put off by their girlfriend's sexual past?
Q. I'm a 19 year old who has been harshly judged by her past. Let's see... I'm now single, I guess. My (ex) B/F left me yesterday, over an issue from my past. Not the first time he's done it. However, yesterday he broke up with me, and today he wen...
A. 1 May 2008: Well, I had a look at your post again and I see the way it was written is confusing. You need to understand, poster, that we can only give opinions on what you write. If what you write suggests one thing, you can't blame us if you think ... (read in full...)
Are all guys put off by their girlfriend's sexual past?
Q. I'm a 19 year old who has been harshly judged by her past. Let's see... I'm now single, I guess. My (ex) B/F left me yesterday, over an issue from my past. Not the first time he's done it. However, yesterday he broke up with me, and today he wen...
A. 30 April 2008: Dear poster, I have many comments for you. Please, don't take this as mere criticism. I want to make my opinions as constructive as possible, and I hope I achieve just that.
In my opinion, if we could blame hormones for all we do, then no one w... (read in full...)
Do I love my ex husband? Sex made it worse.
Q. Ok this one might be a little tough, but here I go! I been divorced for almost 5 years now. I left him becasue I wasn't ready ( I was only 19), I know yes that was wrong of me. So a week ago he moved back to his hometown, where I'm at also. We w...
A. 30 April 2008: I think we would need more information here. How have things changed between you two?... (read in full...)
Confusion, mixed signals, what the heck?
Q. So, I told this guy that I've known for 3 years that I like him. What do I do now? Funny thing is, it wasn't even me that started this whole thing. There I was minding my own business, and wham, he blindsides me with a barrage of hi hunnies and a...
A. 29 April 2008: Tisha-1 is a great agony aunt and a dear friend, and I very often see things the same way she does. This time, however, I beg to differ with her. I won't disagree for the sake of disagreeing.
I think Tish is right, in her second opinion,... (read in full...)
Confusion, mixed signals, what the heck?
Q. So, I told this guy that I've known for 3 years that I like him. What do I do now? Funny thing is, it wasn't even me that started this whole thing. There I was minding my own business, and wham, he blindsides me with a barrage of hi hunnies and a...
A. 28 April 2008: It seems to me that he was trying to have something with you, but not exactly a relationship. I don't think a serious interest in a woman begins like this, as a game. Or at least that's not how I would express a serious interest in a woman. And I ... (read in full...)
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