A
female
age
36-40,
*isti Hdz
writes:I have a question, I am 24 and my husband is 34, I know that he has passed the age where sex is a must, but I am just barely reaching that age, and my sex life is terrible. It never lasts longer than 10 minutes, what can he do, I refuse to cheat on him but something has to give, how do I tell him this without breaking his pride?
View related questions:
sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, :):):)  +, writes (4 May 2008):
At 34, your man is far from past it!
I understand you dont want to hurt his pride, so you should be as responsive as possible about the things you do like so he will learn what turns you on and what doesnt.
Lengthen sex by participating in more foreplay. 'jumping head on' into sex is the main reason for sex to be over quickly.
Spice things up in the bedroom, try things you never have before and I'm sure he'll be desperate for more action!
P.S. Well done for sticking by him, hes lucky to have you.
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Sex is never really a must, but a desire. His desire should not be declining at age 34. I think that mine just started ramping up when I got divorced at age 34. I wanted it 3 or 4 times a day on the weekends, but my girlfriends liked it less often. Some women even say that their sex drive peaks in their 40s.
By lasting only 10 minutes, do you mean that he ejaculates in 10 minutes, or do you mean that he loses interest in 10 minutes. If he loses interest then it sounds like he has a psychological or hormone problem. If you mean that he cums in 10 minutes, then there are many ways to prolong the enjoyment of sex. First there is foreplay - kissing, cuddling, licking and kissing the body and oral. These can last 10 minutes to hours if you want. My wife and I normally do these things for 20 to 30 minutes. She can have multiple orgasms with oral, but is usually exhausted after 3 or 4. Then we get to the intercourse. When I was younger, I would only last about 10 minutes, but she could have another orgasm with intercourse if I licked her ear, which is very sensitive. Changing psoitions will lengthen the time before he cums. I am 63 now and still have a strong desire for sex and we do it several times a week. There is no reason for him to have a low sex drive at 34 unless there is some psychological or physical reason.
Even if he only lasts 10 minutes the sex session could easily last an hour with foreplay, intercourse and afterplay, shich consists of much the same as foreplay. With oral, you could have multiple orgasms before the intercourse begins. Most women seem to have their most intense orgasms with oral sex anyway. My wife and another woman who I dated after my divorce had great orgasms with oral, better than with intercourse.
If you haven't talked to him about this problem then you need to. Bring it up gently so that he is not defensive and gets depressed because he believes that he is a poor lover. I learned most of the lovemaking things that I know today starting at the age of 34. My divorce made me desire to learn what a woman wants and made me want to be able to make her happy before I had my enjoyment.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 Dear poster, I found these links. I think the opinions given here are great. You can do a more thorough search, I guess.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-to-young-men-about-young-women.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/its-the-same-old-routine-every-time-.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-was-not-quite-supportive-when-i-told.html
Take care.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 May 2008):
Dear poster, I don't know about ages when sex is "a must", but I am quite sure that most men 34 years old certainly want it, and very often. So, his age isn't the reason why you have this problem.
I saw your other post, and I'm glad I did, as I can have a better image of what goes on with you two.
You mention that "it" never lasts more than ten minutes. I assume "it" means "lovemaking sesions". And I think it's pretty safe to assume that sex isn't satisfying for you.
This is indeed difficult to tell to some men. It shouldn't, however. All of us should be willing to learn from our mistakes, and learning from mistakes in bed should be a priority, I guess, so we and our women could enjoy it more. And our pride should never be in the way of recognizing what we don't excel at. Much to the contrary, thinking that you're good at everything should indeed affect our pride.
Frankly, I don't see how he can improve unless you talk to him. I also have to say that he isn't the only responsible for your having pleasure. I will search for some excellent posts on this regard, written by women, for you to check.
You seem to have a big problem here. Try to deal with it little by little.
And then, don't cheat. I know you don't want it, but, you know, cheating is never the solution to the problems that lead you to cheating, whatever they are.
Take care.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Sex is still a must for almost all men...and while 34 may seem old to you, relatively speaking it is young. You are going to have to say something....perhaps suggest one of those desentsitizing creams for him, if that is the problem...
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): 1. try out new things2. have sex after a long period of time-this makes sex last longer!!!3. tell him to give you oral b4 sex and tease him a lot before sexxxx
...............................
|
