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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Should he have stayed, under any condition?
Q. My boyfriend was the one who gave me my first kiss. He lived in the neighborhood and hung out with my brother. He was the first boy that kissed me. Years later I saw him out and that was that. Then, about 2 years ago I got sick. I told him to ...
A. 17 May 2008: Why don't you talk to him and apologize if you said something rude? You can tell him you didn't mean it; you said it because of your disease. That would help a lot, I guess.... (read in full...)
His confession about his feelings for me have created a problem for me!
Q. One of my parent’s closest friends (we’ll call him ‘X’)and I enjoy a mutual hobby which has the blessing of his wife and my boyfriend since neither of them enjoy this hobby. (Additionally, my ex-boyfriend was their son. I severed all contact with ...
A. 17 May 2008: I'm not sure why X acts this way regarding his hobby. I do know that his teling you he fancied you was inappropriate in so many ways, like you said yourself.
If I were you, I would keep on with the hobby by myself. And I would just say "hi" or ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's past bothers me!
Q. I have a problem with my GF's past! I am 24 years old and have slept with about 10 people, she is 20 and has slept with 12 people before me! Should this be bothering me so much, is that alot? She told me that everyone she has slept with wasnt...
A. 17 May 2008: I believe in simple reasoning. Whatever your girl's past, you have two options: take her, or leave her. Choose one. Is she good enough to stay with her: take her. Otherwise, leave her. Don't make your life -or hers- more complicated.
I don... (read in full...)
Do you think he was flattered by my compliment?
Q. This guy and I are attracted to each other at work. We are starting to get a bit flirty thru words and actions. Today I said to him that I would miss his sexy voice over the weekend. Do you think he was flattered by my compliment? Is there any ...
A. 17 May 2008: No, there's no reason why he wouldn't be flattered. I would very much be.... (read in full...)
Will it always be this hard or will it get better?
Q. i see all the answers posted on here about the same situation as mine and maybe im looking for trouble asking but want some outside advice.my boyfriend is 14 years older then me and has 3 kids, none of which will go near their dad because he will ...
A. 17 May 2008: Angelsrhere,
Maybe your life in the future won't be as hard as it is today, but it will be difficult. Not so much because you are with an older partner, or with a partner who has kids, but because of the bad connection you have with his children... (read in full...)
I've never met a guy who's wanted this much sex... and I start doubting myself if he's just using me for sex. Men's opinions?
Q. I met my bf about 2 months ago, and I've noticed that he lovessss to have sex. In the beginning of our relationship, we would have sex atleast 5 times a day, and then it eventually went down to 3 times a day, and at the least twice a day. He treats ...
A. 17 May 2008: Rejoice, my dear: your boyfriend finds you extremely desirable and gives in to your temptation as often as possible. He has an itch he can't scratch. He doesn't seem to be just using you for the sex.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have a vibrator at 16?
Q. I'm sixteen and I'm a virgin. I plan to stay a virgin for a long time. I'm writing this because I have simple question to ask. My mother doesn't want me to talk to boys and I've told her that I wouldn't Now the dating/sex age for my family is ...
A. 17 May 2008: No one can fight the desire for sex. Some people can get used to not having any, but they still want it.
I suppose having a vibrator is no worse than masturbating. Which means I think it's OK.
By the way, we all come with a need for sex bui... (read in full...)
He tries to act all macho, but if I tell him I love him - he cries!
Q. How can I get my husband to be more intimate in bed? I know he loves me very much, we have been married for six months and we have sex every night. The sex is good and all but he is killing me, it's like wamb bamb thank you mam! I want eye cont...
A. 16 May 2008: LonelyTwo, let's say it with all of its letters: go kinky and he'll follow you. In the immortal words of Mae West (a lady I never had the pleasure of meeting):
"When a girl goes wrong, men go right after her"
"Give a man a free hand and he... (read in full...)
She broke his heart 3 years ago and now that he's with me she wants him back?
Q. I recently was left by my boyfriend for a long-distance ex who came back into the picture three years after breaking up with him. We were together six months. This is a long one, but to get the best feedback I want to portray as much of the ...
A. 16 May 2008: Luna06,
I did read your post in its entirety. I was thinking about making long comments about it, but that would take too much time, and maybe I wouldn't really follow the thread of my thoughts. But here are my answers to your question... (read in full...)
He tries to act all macho, but if I tell him I love him - he cries!
Q. How can I get my husband to be more intimate in bed? I know he loves me very much, we have been married for six months and we have sex every night. The sex is good and all but he is killing me, it's like wamb bamb thank you mam! I want eye cont...
A. 16 May 2008: I'm sure you're aware that this is the way our traditions expected sex to be. He is only following what he supposes is the "right" way to have sex. I'm a little amazed that he doesn't know any better by now, but, life is life.
His crying w... (read in full...)
I'm getting married soon but I'm still in love with my ex!
Q. I'm getting married soon but I'm still in love with my ex. I'm twenty years old with a good job and two kids. I met my fiance about a year ago when I was on vacation in the Bahamas. Sparks flew instantly and now we're getting married. We've decided ...
A. 16 May 2008: This is one of those situations when giving opinions and expecting people to follow them seems too easy.
I think you are th eonly person who can decide what to do here. I will try to give you some facts for you to consider.
Your ex is addict... (read in full...)
My ejaculate doesn't seem to spurt very far is this normal?
Q. Hi My wife and I have been married for many years, we have always enjoyed sex. one of the things we both enjoy is mutual masterbation and talking dirty to each other. she has always liked me cumming on her body but resently i cannot spray as f...
A. 16 May 2008: I would only add that porn never shows the real thing. One of these days they will have a man ejaculating twenty gallons of it.... (read in full...)
Does the intensity of butterflies and rapid heartbeat equate to the intensity of your love?
Q. 10 years ago I met a woman that gave made my heart race and gave me butterflies in my belly. We began dating on and off for several months but just as things were about to get serious she had to move away to grad school. The two of us had ...
A. 15 May 2008: Perhaps you never really moved on, and are marrying this girl just because she was there with you. As the "second best" woman in your life.
The first thing you need to do is think very carefully whether you really love your fiancée. You shouldn'... (read in full...)
WHY won't he just admit he cheated??
Q. ok this sounds crazy and i know its all in front of me but i keep doubting my own self.. about a month ago my gf tipped me off that my current bf of about 6months is "talking" to some girl her boyfriend knows and its still going on , but i didn'...
A. 15 May 2008: It does seem he was seeing this other girl, and was not serious about her. That wouldn't change the fact that his seeing her was cheating. If he did cheat, he will not admit he did, because some people don't usually admit what they do wrong.
... (read in full...)
I'm trying to date a girl who says it's too soon after her last relationship.
Q. ok, ive been trying to date this girl, she wants to date me too but she said she isnt ready cause she got out of a 2 year relationship in Feb. understandable i am not pressuring her but my friend also likes her and wants to date her and he has ...
A. 15 May 2008: You don't know what is crossing her mind, so you can't possibly know when she will want to date again. You should avoid becoming a nuisance, so let her be.
If she does date your friend, you will know that she was messing with you, and you will... (read in full...)
I asked if she wanted me to go to Spain with her. She hasn't replied. Was it too much?
Q. Ok i met this girl in march that i really like, im 33 and she is 26. She is a really nice girl, kind, considerate, caring, and is into the same sort of things i like. We have been out on 3 dates, the first two were just a drink, and the third was ...
A. 15 May 2008: This is the sort of things that always make you feel unsure of what you did, I guess.
What you describe is a man with a serious interest in a girl. Someone who would want to be with her. She might not have seen things the same way. Women an... (read in full...)
Shaven or Hairy?
Q. I have been trimming my pubic hair regularly. But am not sure its what guys like. The guy I was planning to have sex with likes it shaven. Should I continue shaving or do guys prefer hairy?...
A. 15 May 2008: Some guys want it shaven, some guys like it hairy, and some guys like to try both. What do you like? It seems you like it trimmed.... (read in full...)
Self medicating with masturbation and hypersexuality to alleviate stress?
Q. In addition to the obvious reasons for masturbating, I do so as a means of self-medicating myself and alleviating the stress and anxiety I feel in my life. I find that my life has only become only more stressful and demanding in recent years and ...
A. 13 May 2008: We don't know your age, but I assume you're a grown man.
I haven't experienced this, but I think you're taking away all the fun of masturbation. It is not intended to alleviate stress or whatever. It is intended only to alleviate some sexual u... (read in full...)
Should married couples seek outside help or try to work it out on their own?
Q. Should married couples get help with their problems from third parties? Or thrash it out at home? One to one using their own brains....
A. 13 May 2008: I think one to one would be best, but I wouldn't exclude marriage counselling.
The marriage counsellor can help you see better. However, in the end, you will have to deal with your issues one on one. And the recommendations you get from the coun... (read in full...)
Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them?
Q. A question to the guys: Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them? This is the line that my boyfriend pulled on me and bailed, after HE implied that we're in the relati...
A. 13 May 2008: It would have been good to know the time frame. With this information at hand, I think I can't really know what is going on in his head. Maybe he is "hot and cold", yes. But, in a general sense, sometimes people can stay away from you because ... (read in full...)
Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them?
Q. A question to the guys: Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them? This is the line that my boyfriend pulled on me and bailed, after HE implied that we're in the relati...
A. 13 May 2008: Unbelievably, yes, and this can happen not only with people you're in a relationship with.
Suppose there's a co-worker, for example, who you value a lot, but who might be easily offended by the things you do or say. You will start by treading... (read in full...)
Why do I always put down my husband?
Q. I love my husband. Why do I always seem to put him down? I think that he is the most generous smart lovable good person that I've ever met. He is very shy, not real forthcoming with his feelings or affection for that matter. Doesn't like bei...
A. 13 May 2008: I agree with twist of fate: "You are the dominant partner and you will strive subconcously to maintain that position."
Also, you have some pending accounts with him, which you can't settle because he won't speak.
This should be an easy probl... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts or experiences about relationships between people of different nationalities?
Q. My question is about relationships with people of differing nationalities. I am Australian of english/irish heritage and my boyfriend is Greek but was born/raised in Australia. his brother is married to a women who is half greek and half anglo. ...
A. 13 May 2008: I happen to be the son of people of different nationalities, and I have been in relationships with people of different nationalities, too.
I would say that there is no need for you to worry. There is reason, however, to keep your eyes and, abo... (read in full...)
We both tested positive for Clamydia, does this mean she cheated?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I ...
A. 13 May 2008: You need all your bases covered before you can be sure someone cheated on you. Ask your doctor.... (read in full...)
Have any aunts/uncles here ever met up and got on ok?
Q. I was just wondering (seeing how everyone on here seems to know the rights and wrongs of everything and can give perfect answers to everyone) if anyone had met each other as agony aunts/uncles on here and were now in a successful relationship? ...
A. 13 May 2008: Your question is in the line of "doctor, heal thyself". It seems to make sense: if we give advice to people on what they should do or shouldn't be doing, and occasionally we get angry and treat people harshly, then our relationships should be ... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: I'm afraid that all the answers you will get will be in the line "race doesn't matter". We all know it shouldn't, and we all know it does. In more than one way.
There are, of course, those who wouldn't entertain a serious relationship with you... (read in full...)
How do I do break up without hurting her?
Q. Does it seem like I'm thinking this through rationally, am I being an asshole, or both? My girlfriend of a year says she loves me, and is always good to me. We have fun together, but she never hangs out with my friends, and when she does, she do...
A. 13 May 2008: You can't dump a person who loves you without hurting her. What you can do is break up in a mature manner, one that will spare her as much pain as possible. To me, that way is being frank and honest about what you feel and what she can expect from ... (read in full...)
If I lost her do to my shady sexual history, I'd be devastated! Should I reveal what I've done?
Q. I've recently started a relationship with the most amazing woman I've ever met. Things are better than I could have ever imagined and have ever been with anyone else and I'm certain we are both deeply in love with each other. The problem is that ...
A. 13 May 2008: Here in Dear Cupid it's usually the women who ask this kind of questions. I think the same advice we give to them would work for you.
First, don't say a word. Second, if she asks, tell the truth. And, most of all, think that your value for her ... (read in full...)
Where does your confidence come from? Any tips on improving my self-confidence?
Q. Hi, I know this is going to seem like a really random question but it would really help to have some ideas. I have always suffered from confidence issues and have low self esteem, though I have no reason to feel underconfident or inadeq...
A. 12 May 2008: My guess is that your lack of self-esteem or confidence come from being made feel that you couldn't do anything by yourself, or then from your looking at yourself in very hard or demanding terms.
You need to believe in your own powers. I guess on... (read in full...)
Should I include her in my future or not??
Q. About 6 months ago i met this really great girl through the internet. We met on a dating site, but we were there just to find people to chat with (wasn't strictly at dating site) because we had both just come to terms with our sexuality. An...
A. 12 May 2008: I'm sorry for your heartbreak. It is very clear that you do love her, and you think she is your great chance.
However, she's been very clear: she will never see you as anything but a friend. I think you should not include her in your future. ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling unbelievable lust for this man other than my husband. What are your thoughts on open marriage?
Q. Help! I am married to a wonderful man for 7 years now. We have 3 wonderful kids. I was out with my girlfriend and met this Brad Pitt look-alike from Brazil. He is so amazing in so many different ways. In the heat of the moment i shared with him a ...
A. 12 May 2008: I think you want us to approve your open marriage. That's not for us to do.... (read in full...)
I want her back as a partner, not a friend.
Q. My fiance' and I were together for 4 years. We have split and come back a few times, but recently she decided that it was time to end it for good. She still wants to be friends, but I still love her and wish her back. Is there anyway that I can ge...
A. 12 May 2008: No.... (read in full...)
We both tested positive for Clamydia, does this mean she cheated?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I ...
A. 12 May 2008: Just in case, to avoid any mistakes, I will try to summarize what you said.
You have been seeing a girl for one year. Recently, you two had symptoms, and you two got tested. She was the first to have symptoms, and, a couple of days later, y... (read in full...)
He says he needs space...so why is he seeing someone else?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend told me he needed space and is seeing someone else. He still calls me, comes over, we go to dinner, etc. I love him so much and I don't know what to do. Should I just let him go? My heart seriously hurts everyday that I ...
A. 12 May 2008: I guess you should let him go. By saying he needs space, he has put your relationship in a sort of a stand-by: he can see or go out with anyone, and you can't complain. At the same time, he does things to keep you at arm's length. I think you ... (read in full...)
He was acting like a doormat but now things have changed and I feel like a doormat! Why?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. I know things change as you become more comfortable with each other, but it seems he has totally changed! He was the type of boyfriend that if I told him to jump, he would say how high. If ...
A. 11 May 2008: Very difficult question. You have produced a significant and everlasting change in this man. He used to be a doormat, and would have been one for anyone, but now he has changed his mind and realized it doesn't have to be that way. He will never ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he will confuse my genuine interest in him with my usual attitude! I'm a natural flirt!
Q. I am very friendly with all my work colleagues with some calling me a bit of a natural flirt (to both females and males), however, I am worried that the new work colleague which I like will not realise that I do actually like him. Without saying...
A. 10 May 2008: He needs to see a clear difference between your flirting with other people and your flirting towards him. I think the easiest way would be to tell him something.
Or, perhaps, to increase the level of flirting to a point where he will notice t... (read in full...)
Tested for STI's and came clear. How to inform my ex that I was mistaken?
Q. I was tested for STI's the other day. The doctor done a swab and said she had detected some cells that looked like chlamydia, she gave me antibiotics and told me I needed to inform my sexual partner. She told me I would need to phone the clinic a ...
A. 10 May 2008: I think you were very responsible in informing him about the supposed chlamydia, and now you'd be responsible, again, if you informed him the tests were negative. Let him think whatever he wants. You can show him the official results if he wants ... (read in full...)
I honestly never touched a woman's body while I was away working, and my g/f doesn't believe me.
Q. I've been dating this girl for 3 months, then on the 4th month we decided to live together. On the 5th month i went to Hawaii to work for 4 months (with continous communications, sending gifts and stuff to her). 2 weeks before i finished my 4 ...
A. 10 May 2008: As to the girl, "don't do nuthin'". That's history. Forget about her and all the et ceteras. You didn't see anyone else, but she did, and now she wants to put you in the defensive by striking first. Let her have her man.
As to moving on, you ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 10 May 2008: That could hurt, you know, girls?... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 10 May 2008: I agree with Susan: yes, or vice versa. There's no reason why they should be the same size.... (read in full...)
I don't trust him Am I going paranoid?
Q. hey my boyfriend has had a very bad past. he has had a lot of girls that slept with him and co he was a bit of a player. he was really tempted to luk at girls n touch them and he was a real flirt. ive bin 4 him 4 3 years now and he says that he ...
A. 9 May 2008: I don't think you're going paranoid, dear poster. I think you're simply beginning to realize that your boyfriend's behavior offers little guarantees. You know that he could flirt and touch other girls any moment, which is a way to say that you're ... (read in full...)
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