A
male
age
30-35,
*elpB
writes:My mom and I have been very close throughout the years. Up until she started looking at my emails and msn chats. I lost alot of repect for her, but kept her in my heart. Boy loves his mama. We started this online game a while ago, and we played together, which was really fun. My parents always had a shaky relationship, and I knew the day would come when they would split for sure. When they did there was a whole bunch of reasons, but the only one I could pick up was my mom's online male friend, who I'll just call "Prick." Playing this online game, this man wasn't a nice guy, he was rude and cold with everyone around him. I didn't trust or like him at all. A week ago my mom left for the UK a week to have a vacation, and relax. Prick lives in the UK. I talked to my mom, and expressed emotionally that I didn't want her to meet this man. She told me, after I said again and again no to lie to me. She WASN'T going to see him. I felt better about her leaving. Though not trusting her 100%. I kept an eye out via the video game to see if Prick was ever online. He wasn't. A week goes by, and he isn't on, and then I guessed he was with her. Today my dad and me picked up my mom from the airport. I felt so uncomfortable. Should I ask? What will she say? Would she lie? Could she? This was going through my head the whole time in the car. When we dropped her off at her house and my dad dropped me off at ours, he left for abit to do his lotto. I turned on the game.Prick was online.I called my mom, and asked:Me: Just tell me, please.Mom: Tell you what?Me: You know, why was Prick not online while you were gone the whole time?Mom(quietly): I was with him.Me: What?Mom(quietly): I was with him.Me: what are you saying? Speak up.Mom: What else do you want me to say?I just hung up. My mom, she raised me, and taught me life. I feel like I'm not a person, Or I never really matter anymore. What do I do? I feel as if, everything I know, learn, see isn't real anymore. I'm 2 months away from being 18, why couldn't she of just told me straight up? Is it better for a mother to lie to their child's face, than confess? Sorry if things seem unclear in the sorry, I'm a closed person. Me, expressing my feeling about her meeting Prick was the first time in 5 years I opened up to anyone, and I feel as if it never mattered to her anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Hi Hunny
I think my sons would be the same, Every guy that came into my life after there father amd I got divorced was a prick! dick! or tit hun..No one was good enough because they were worried, My eldest was worried I would get treated bad as there father wasnt that nice .I was fighting a loosing battle to keep everyone happy but still young enough to want to go out and meet someone, I didnt hide anything but I certainly found it easier to keep the peace sometimes by trying not to hurt there feelings, Maybe hunny she just wanted to leave on good terms with you...She has told you now love...Its not always easy being a parent sweetheart, I do understand you pain, But all this will pass your mum loves you more than words can say and you sure love her so dont let this get in the way love...You will find a girl of your own one day and want your parents to accept her so learn from this and try not to judge to much hunny...As deep down you have a great mum there by what you have said apart fom this problem your dealing with, Life is full of learning and growing and accepting people for who they are and Im sure your mum didnt intentionally want to hurt you hunny....TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 I honestly understand how you're feeling, and it must hurt like hell, knowing that you always had faith in your mum, only to have her lie to you like that. But please don't let it upset you so much. Just let her get on with her life with this guy, your mum will always be your mum and i'm almost certain ~ no matter how old you are, she will always be there for you.
Now let's look on the bright side, your post really made me chuckle, not about the situation you're in, but the fact that you have named this guy 'Prick', and just now whilst reading Danielepew's reply, I couldn't help but laugh every time he mentioned his 'name' all the way though it.
You sound as if you have a great sense of humour, so don't let all this get you down. Danielepew has spoken some wise words, and you should take note of what he's said.
In the mean time, hon, keep your chin up, don't worry and be happy.
BigSis
xXx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): Your mum should never have lied to you or your dad.
is the game second life by any chance? that things screwed up...
Just try n get over this bad chapter in your life and not ''learn from your mothers mistakes'' but just dont treat your children like she has treated you, never lie to them.
I think you should ask a professional about this, but I'd say the best thing to do is not stay that close with your mom if she's lied to you like that.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 May 2008):
 Dear, I have some opinions to give you.
I was wondering where to start, but I think I will start with your parent's divorce.
I'm sure that the reasons your mother had for divorcing were many more and way deeper than just meeting Prick. I'm sure you're aware of this: it usually takes a long time for a marriage to become so bad that both parties want out. You don't really know what the reasons for the divorce were. When a couples breaks up, it is rarely only one party's fault.
Your mother meeting Prick was just the tip of the iceberg. In your post you make it clear that your parents were already in trouble when you first played with him. So, her reasons for divorce are clearly different, and deeper.
Prick is the man she went to when her relationship failed. Sometime you will feel sad and needy, too, and you will understand this.
You're very clear that you told your mother you didn't want her to meet Prick. I do believe that parents need to take their children into consideration for any decision they make. But, you know, that also has a limit. You'll be 18 very soon. I bet you will leave the home very soon to live your own life. You will have your boyfriends and your love stories. Why can't your mother have hers?
Her relationship with your father is over. Why shouldn't she rebuild her life? It does seem that Prick isn't the man she should turn to, but then we don't really know what he is like or what your mother needed at the moment.
I notice you live with your father. There must be a good reason for that. Mothers usually fight tooth and nail to keep the children. If you stayed with him, something is the matter. Maybe she's not the perfect mother. But please don't ever take sides in the problems that take place between your parents. You can perhaps tell one of them that he or she isn't right about something; but both are your parents.
I have some bad news for you. Your father is likely to be sleeping with someone else, too.
Your mother lied to you. She felt she shouldn't tell you about her visiting Prick. But then she told you. She finally told you the truth, you know, when she could have very easily told you another lie.
I suppose you now believe that your mother is the worst of women. She isn't.
Don't let these things affect you so much as to feel that you never mattered to your mother. That's not true. It only happens that in this particular regard she has a genuine interest that doesn't match yours. I wouldn't be that forgiving if you were a small child, but you've grown already. There's no reason to treat you like a child.
Above all, don't be that quick to judge people. It's better to understand first.
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