| Latest articles: For all women
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Do I love my ex husband? Sex made it worse.
Q. Ok this one might be a little tough, but here I go! I been divorced for almost 5 years now. I left him becasue I wasn't ready ( I was only 19), I know yes that was wrong of me. So a week ago he moved back to his hometown, where I'm at also. We w...
A. 1 May 2008: I'm not sure I understand your situation correctly.
It seems to me that you divorced your husband a long time ago, you two had your relationships, and then you met again, started talking and had sex. That is more or less clear. Then, you ment... (read in full...)
Do I love my ex husband? Sex made it worse.
Q. Ok this one might be a little tough, but here I go! I been divorced for almost 5 years now. I left him becasue I wasn't ready ( I was only 19), I know yes that was wrong of me. So a week ago he moved back to his hometown, where I'm at also. We w...
A. 1 May 2008: I mean, how has the relationship changed?... (read in full...)
Are all guys put off by their girlfriend's sexual past?
Q. I'm a 19 year old who has been harshly judged by her past. Let's see... I'm now single, I guess. My (ex) B/F left me yesterday, over an issue from my past. Not the first time he's done it. However, yesterday he broke up with me, and today he wen...
A. 1 May 2008: Well, I had a look at your post again and I see the way it was written is confusing. You need to understand, poster, that we can only give opinions on what you write. If what you write suggests one thing, you can't blame us if you think ... (read in full...)
Are all guys put off by their girlfriend's sexual past?
Q. I'm a 19 year old who has been harshly judged by her past. Let's see... I'm now single, I guess. My (ex) B/F left me yesterday, over an issue from my past. Not the first time he's done it. However, yesterday he broke up with me, and today he wen...
A. 30 April 2008: Dear poster, I have many comments for you. Please, don't take this as mere criticism. I want to make my opinions as constructive as possible, and I hope I achieve just that.
In my opinion, if we could blame hormones for all we do, then no one w... (read in full...)
I'm having huge problems with my cold and withdrawn father! Any advice?
Q. hey i dont live with my parents anymore but ive a huge prob with my father and its affected me my whole life. He always lived with us and hes not physically abusive or anything but he is the coldest most withdrawn person. He always expects my mother ...
A. 30 April 2008: Sometimes I think of life as a hand of cards that you're dealt. You can be dealt the best of hands, or a very bad one; but what you do with your cards is what matters.
You had the misfortune of having a bad father. I know it hurts and affects ... (read in full...)
Boys and Men...what do you think about teenage lesbians?
Q. Older men..do you think 'Oh she's just a teenager, it's just a phase..she doesn't really know what she wants'? We had to talk about it in class today and it seemed that most boys thought it 'hot'. I know some guys think that, but what do the othe...
A. 30 April 2008: If I can ANSWER them all, that is.... (read in full...)
Boys and Men...what do you think about teenage lesbians?
Q. Older men..do you think 'Oh she's just a teenager, it's just a phase..she doesn't really know what she wants'? We had to talk about it in class today and it seemed that most boys thought it 'hot'. I know some guys think that, but what do the othe...
A. 30 April 2008: You have asked more than one question. Let's see if I can ask them all.
I do believe a girl can know pretty well she's a lesbian at, say, 14. I guess the attraction for other women, not men, is very clear.
I'm a man, so I don't have any p... (read in full...)
How can I stop my Husband beating me?
Q. How do I stop my husband from beating me all the time? ...
A. 30 April 2008: I don't know what laws you have in Nigeria, but I assume they would be as useful as the ones we have over here, which is to say they wouldn't be very useful, and sometimes would even be stupid.
If you're the average Third World woman, leaving ... (read in full...)
I am conflicted and seeking guidance, preferably from other Christians
Q. I have a serious problem I'm not sure how to explain it fully... I come from a very Christian background and I believe the bible very strongly. I married my husband almost a year ago, and lost my virginity to him on our wedding night. I am a very ...
A. 30 April 2008: Laura1318: I do believe Catholics are Christians. Jehovah's witnesses, by the way, are not: they don't believe Christ is God. But the right meaning of the word Christian is not what people think of when they say it. For example, I bet the ... (read in full...)
Why can't my ex-boyfriend be my friend at least?
Q. I am 31 years old and many of you may be wondering what is she doing here? But believe me it gets worse with age....I fell in love with someone who dumped me 2 months ago. I didnt see him for long, only 4 months but found him to be just the kind of ...
A. 30 April 2008: It seems to me that everything was perfect until his family got involved. I would assume he knew about your kid before all this happened, so I would have expected him to say something before. Seems to me he's a severe case of mommy's boy who can't ... (read in full...)
Could it be possible that the hymen stays intact after fingering?
Q. my wife and i were watching a tv show and the question of virginity came up. we started to talk about our first times and my wife said she was fingered for over 2 years before she had intercourse. what i do not understand is she says she still had ...
A. 30 April 2008: Some hymens are very elastic. This is perfectly possible.... (read in full...)
I need an outsiders perspective of family problems disrupting our wedding plans?
Q. Hi, Me and my fiance are due to get married in July. It's now almost May and she wants to call it off. The problem started when we got engaged. My parents started treating my GF different in a big way. It became a big problem and I became dep...
A. 30 April 2008: Please excuse my being blunt; I hope you will appreciate my being clear.
It seems that blowing things out of proportion runs in your family. You seem to have serious conflicts going on, and apparently they come to the surface in disguise... (read in full...)
Please Help Me!! Girlfriend wants a break but says she still loves me, still a chance for me?
Q. Here we go, me and my girlfriend have been going out for a little over a year and things were great in the beggining. But lately she has had alot to do and is always running around. one of my problems is that i get paranoid to easily and she tells ...
A. 30 April 2008: I'm sorry, Kenny Jay, but when a girl asks you for a break, it usually means the relationship is over. For the man, it usually means that he will spare himself a lot of heartbreak if he just stops (that is, if he stops banging his head against a ... (read in full...)
Am I the only one who thinks it is wrong for married guys to flirt too much?
Q. Hey guys, I have a bit of a common problem, I guess. This guy at my work clearly has a 'thing' for me. He also happens to be married. In my eyes this is inappropriate in itself, but someone told me once there is a line. Supposedly some actions ...
A. 30 April 2008: I guess that the line can be drawn in different places.
If it were the man's wife drawing it, I assume she would say no flirting is right. I agree with this, by the way, on this basis: I have eyes, and I have lust, so I can appreciate a woman's ... (read in full...)
I constantly want sex! Is there something wrong with me?
Q. Help! I think im addicted to sex. Me and my bf have a great sex life but i think about sex all the time. Even at work. I suddenly get really horny without anything even triggering it! I masturbate every day (sometimes more than once) and even s...
A. 30 April 2008: We can't help you.
I suppose there is something that triggers that interest. Maybe it will go away on its own, maybe it won't. Do the thinking. Some people wouldn't call it a problem.... (read in full...)
I am conflicted and seeking guidance, preferably from other Christians
Q. I have a serious problem I'm not sure how to explain it fully... I come from a very Christian background and I believe the bible very strongly. I married my husband almost a year ago, and lost my virginity to him on our wedding night. I am a very ...
A. 30 April 2008: I'm not a Christian, but a Catholic. I can tell you this much, though: Christians or not, all of us must take responsibility if we have sex. The fact that his career hasn't taken off is not a criterion to define whether he should be responsible ... (read in full...)
I have mixed feelings about this, will my feelings change if he chooses me?
Q. Hi I am a young 22 yr old single mom. I am very scared because I met a married man who is ten yrs older than I am. I'm not scared because I met him but because when we talked for the first time it was for hours. We have so much in common and he is ...
A. 30 April 2008: I haven't been to such a situation, but I can tell you this much: you are already involved with this man. I won't be quick to cast a stone to you: those things happen. you're not married, and married persons who live in unhappy relationships also ... (read in full...)
Any advice on how I can fix or deal with the pain of fibromyalgia?
Q. If I have "Fibromyagia" how can I fix the pain? ...
A. 30 April 2008: I found this for you:
http://www.medicinenet.com/fibromyalgia/article.htm
Take care.... (read in full...)
Lets just say I need some serious help here...should I tell him how I feel?
Q. well ill try my best to explain this very complicated matter here: well, i first liked this guy, a red-head, all-american, totally original and classy. and we would talk all the time! ppl would ask if we were best friends or something. and his frie...
A. 30 April 2008: Redhead is into the other girl, so don't try. And the Hispanic guy deserves better than being a piece in a game. If you don't really like him, let him go. Don't use him.... (read in full...)
He pursued me for about two months, then virtually overnight he changed!
Q. I have been dating this guy who is 42. He was very, very into me, and pursued me for about 2 months. He really gained my trust, and I liked him a lot. We started having sex (three weeks ago) and virtually overnight he stopped being on time, ...
A. 30 April 2008: It sure seems like he's had what he wanted. Try not having any sex and asking him why the change. If he gets so upset that he goes away, you'll have your answer and he won't be abusing you anymore.... (read in full...)
Do I love my ex husband? Sex made it worse.
Q. Ok this one might be a little tough, but here I go! I been divorced for almost 5 years now. I left him becasue I wasn't ready ( I was only 19), I know yes that was wrong of me. So a week ago he moved back to his hometown, where I'm at also. We w...
A. 30 April 2008: I think we would need more information here. How have things changed between you two?... (read in full...)
Scared of making a mistake since I am not sure what I want. I love him but am not IN love with him any longer!?
Q. Rite guys.. I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. But I've met some new friends when I went to college and didn't really have any this good at school. I am really ejoying goin out more and am wondering whether I would enjoy being sing...
A. 30 April 2008: Life means taking chances, and taking responsibility for the chances we take.
It is very clear to me that you don't love your boyfriend anymore. Tell him the truth, so he can rebuild his life. And, if you make a mistake, well, accept it.
T... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my boyfriend visits local dating sites? Is he bored with me?
Q. So one day my boyfriend asks me to go onto his computer and check to see if he had gotten any new emails, so I went onto his computer and checked it for him. Also he had his internet up and so I just clicked on it. I noticed that his history ...
A. 30 April 2008: I would add that maybe he asked you to check his e-mail knowing that you would look at the internet history. Maybe he wanted you to know he was checking those sites.
In any case, I don't think that anyone in a happy relationship would be visiting... (read in full...)
I miss her friendship! She stopped talking to me when she found out I liked her...
Q. I liked this girl for 2 yrs we were great friend. She found out n said no n we stopped talkin to me. Been 2 months! Tried talkin but its hard. I wana talk to her but how? Will it ever be the same? I reli miss her friendship but I can't say that ...
A. 30 April 2008: Sorry. It won't be the same. If she felt fine with your liking her, she would still be approaching you. Since she isn't doing it, don't insist. Move on.
If this is of any help, you were brave to take your chances. Be happy for it.... (read in full...)
I made a mistake by writing him a love letter - I feel awkward as our conversations are tense now! What to do?
Q. ok where i work at is a family business which is ran by two brothers who are my bosses one of the brothers has children which 2 of them work in the store as well so they also have authority I've liked one of they're sons for a long time and would ...
A. 29 April 2008: Well, you gave him the letter already, and we can't change that. If it is very awkward, try finding another job. So far, he is behaving decently.
I think you should also try to avoid relationships with people you work with. The workplac... (read in full...)
I found gay websites in my boyfriend's computer, should I confront him? Is he gay?
Q. I found gay websites in my boyfriends computer, should I confront him? My bf is a people person, very friendly and outgoing. We have been dating for a year now, he is 30 years old. A couple months ago I found gay websites on his computer...
A. 29 April 2008: Sometimes the right thing to do is also the most difficult thing to do. In your case, I think you should ask him whether he's gay. Straight men might visit "regular" porn websites, but not gay ones, and certainly not regularly.
And this doesn't ... (read in full...)
Went to a foreign country and slept with 3 male prostitutes. Should I tell my husband?
Q. I had sex with 3 male prostitutes last week while visiting a foreign country with my female friend. I feel so guilty now, and I want to tell my husband. I know he will most likely leave me though and we have two children, one is just 6 weeks old and ...
A. 29 April 2008: Wow. I tend to avoid commenting on the opinions of other posters, but, sorry Carlreeves: Do you really think the important thing here is whether she used a condom? So, if all three male prostitutes used them, everything's OK?
And I have cha... (read in full...)
I quit my job to be near her but due to health issues, she suddenly "erased" me from her life. Should I wait for her?
Q. I've known my girlfriend for close to 7 years but we've only been dating for 5 months. She has suffered from depression for a while now and had to move from Miami because of it. We started dating and it was like we had been together for years. Late...
A. 29 April 2008: Well, anyways she has pushed you out of her life.
Many of us men would be much, much happier if we learned to follow one simple principle: if they don't want you there, don't insist. We think it's a matter of trying harder. It is not. It's a m... (read in full...)
I know it was wrong but I looked in my girlfriend's phone and I felt destroyed!!
Q. My girlfriend and I have have been having the time of our lives over the past 8 months. I'm 48 and she's 45. We're both very much in love, and then last week I saw a dramatic change in her. Even in the bedroom she was cold. Something she has alwa...
A. 29 April 2008: I beg to differ, man. She set you up and you're accepting it. It's your life.... (read in full...)
I quit my job to be near her but due to health issues, she suddenly "erased" me from her life. Should I wait for her?
Q. I've known my girlfriend for close to 7 years but we've only been dating for 5 months. She has suffered from depression for a while now and had to move from Miami because of it. We started dating and it was like we had been together for years. Late...
A. 29 April 2008: I'm sorry: you won't be together again. And it's best that way for you. She has changed her mind about being with you, and doesn't care the extent to which she disrupted your life. You don't need such a person.
Saying that she doesn't want to ... (read in full...)
I cant seem to get over the fact that his last girlfriend was a stripper!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now but i cant seem to get over the fact that his last girlfriend was a stripper. Something about it always makes me sick to my stomach. Whenever i think about it or hear something about a ...
A. 29 April 2008: It's called being jealous. Yes, get over it.... (read in full...)
We've been together 6 months and I feel nervous about telling her that I love her.
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 6 months and I have felt that I want to tell her that I love her, this may sound silly but I'm just really nervous so how do I say it to her?...
A. 29 April 2008: Actually, I would have trouble if a person who lives with me for six months can't tell me she loves me. THAT would worry me quite a lot.... (read in full...)
I'm a virgin and have developed a tense brooding state and a sort of unusual complex since my mother touched me sexually!! Please advise.
Q. Hi friends I am virgin guy in my twenties. Please read this carefully and come out with a good solution. I discuss with my family all my problems. I was a bit tense those days due to my job and also feeling alone.There was whitewashing going on...
A. 29 April 2008: It's called incest.
Maybe this is the first time your mother grabbed your penis, but I'm sure that her getting to that point took some time. You have an unhealthy relationship with your mother, and it's her fault. You seem to still feel exciteme... (read in full...)
Went to a foreign country and slept with 3 male prostitutes. Should I tell my husband?
Q. I had sex with 3 male prostitutes last week while visiting a foreign country with my female friend. I feel so guilty now, and I want to tell my husband. I know he will most likely leave me though and we have two children, one is just 6 weeks old and ...
A. 29 April 2008: I think you should sit and think about your life very carefully and honestly, and you should make a decision that you will actually put to practice.
You slept with these three male prostitutes because you don't have a satisfying sex life, and you'... (read in full...)
My boyfriend said he wants space -Help!
Q. Help. My boyfriend said he wants space i leave him alone for a few days then hes textin me sayin he loves me and all that. But then Says Ill Never Change he thinks im a complete bitch. And Doesnt want me no more. I think Somethings up co...
A. 29 April 2008: I think you should let him be. He is giving you mixed signals. Tell him that you need to know where you stand with him, and, also, that you will leave him alone while he figures that out but that, in the meantime, you consider yourself a free ... (read in full...)
Could there be something about me girls realize after awhile doesn't make for boyfriend material? How do I get out of the friend zone?
Q. I seem to be stuck in "friend zone" with all of the girls I know. Most of the girls I've gotten to know in the last few months, though not all, I met through us being initially interested in one another, and then, after a few weeks things dry...
A. 29 April 2008: The Sister knows what she is talking about. It's actually quite noticeable that these words of wisdom come from a woman; they know this better than us.... (read in full...)
The bomb my wife has dropped on me was her telling me that she is not sure she is still in love with me!
Q. My wife and I are working out our problems in our marriage. The bomb that she dropped on me was her telling me that she is not sure she is still in love with me, but she still shows me affection, and we still are very intimate. Is she confused or ...
A. 29 April 2008: In my experience, whenever a woman tells you that she's not sure about you, she's absolutely sure that she doesn't want you. Or, at least, when all is said and done she dumps you.
From your post, I see that you are waiting to see what she does... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a girl to ask a guy for sex?
Q. What do guys think of girls who ask them for sex? I mean would they care if a girl initiated it on a second date? ...
A. 29 April 2008: Yes, it is more than OK. It's welcome.... (read in full...)
When a man fantasizes about doing sexual things with other women, does it mean that he loves his own woman less?
Q. When my husband or a man in a general fantasizes about doing sexual things with other women, does it mean that your husband loves/desires you less, or that he wishes you weren't around so he can fulfill his fantasies? Do men ever have fantasies ...
A. 29 April 2008: He won't love you any less if he happens to notice that Girl A over there has big breasts or Girl B has a nice pelvis. He has eyes and he will notice women, and perhaps he will entertain thoughts about them; but it won't mean he will desire you ... (read in full...)
When a man fantasizes about doing sexual things with other women, does it mean that he loves his own woman less?
Q. When my husband or a man in a general fantasizes about doing sexual things with other women, does it mean that your husband loves/desires you less, or that he wishes you weren't around so he can fulfill his fantasies? Do men ever have fantasies ...
A. 29 April 2008: Oldersister said it just right. There's no reason for you to worry about this. Everyone has private thoughts, and, if you don't show them, that's called respect. It is human nature to notice how attractive another person is; it's a different ... (read in full...)
Sex chatting on the internet to chat to men, is this cheating my husband?
Q. help me..i have a good husband, my problem is i have a high sex drive and i have turned to sex chatting on the internet to chat to men. Is this cheating, what is wrong with me,i feel guilty afterwards, i just so frustrated. Anytime i want sex with...
A. 29 April 2008: Yes, poster, sex chatting to other men over the internet is cheating. It is because you're finding sexual relief elsewhere.
However, I understand you. I can't miss why you have resorted to sex chatting. It is very clear that the sex isn't sa... (read in full...)
I want commitment. Are our differences too great?
Q. My bf is leaving for another country, which has gotten me all stressed up and I was really afraid to lose him. So I try to pressure him to give me a commitment and I think that got him very frustrated. When he did not even plan to spend his last day ...
A. 29 April 2008: I agree with Oldersister (the first time an "older sister" is younger than me) except in this regard: dont' even tell him you're dumping him. He doesn't care. He's leaving you behind and he knows full well you're not going to be back together. ... (read in full...)
She wants a break but I only want her
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for three years, we are just finishing university now and shes said to me she wants a break. We got together at 18 and are both 21 now, furthermore we were best friends for a year before that. She says to ...
A. 29 April 2008: The sad truth is that a relationship can't go in any direction if the two people involved don't want that.
It's very clear that you love her, but I'm afraid that she doesn't feel what you feel anymore. I don't think a girl in love would ask for ... (read in full...)
Why do people think first night sex is cheap and the girl lacks self respect?
Q. Ok guys why do ppl think it is cheap and the girl lacks self respect if they have sex on the first night? I mean after going out on a date and lots of talking? What is the difference between waiting for the second date as some ppl think it is more ...
A. 29 April 2008: I can't really say why people feel that sex in the first date is cheap, whatever. I just want to say that "fully" is not strong enough a word to say how much I agree with Uncle Phil here. Particularly in this regard:
"All this business of waiti... (read in full...)
I know it was wrong but I looked in my girlfriend's phone and I felt destroyed!!
Q. My girlfriend and I have have been having the time of our lives over the past 8 months. I'm 48 and she's 45. We're both very much in love, and then last week I saw a dramatic change in her. Even in the bedroom she was cold. Something she has alwa...
A. 29 April 2008: Just as other people have said, I'm not buying her excuse, and neither should you. It's clear that she has something going on. She's a player.... (read in full...)
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