A
female
age
41-50,
*isti Hdz
writes:Okay one quick question. If you are a married woman, and you have sexual relations with another woman is it cheating?
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male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (6 May 2008):
The best way I know to decide this one is personal. A committed lover will know whether or not he/she is uncomfortable with the idea of his/her mate knowing exactly what happens, regardless of the source, or if he/she knows the partner would be if he/she knew, then it is dishonest at the intention level, and therefore cheating. Just my two cents. My personal feeling is that I am OK with a girlfriend having a female lover(but not male). Women I have known would be aware of that, and could decide accordingly. That is just what I feel, and everyone else needs to feel it out for themselves.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): while i would consider going to a strip club cheating many do not...however is he giving her oral?no thus it isnt a very good example between that situation and the one you have said here.
way to go irish have to say i completely agree with what you said.
-michael
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Irish is so right.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Amen, Irish.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): I have to say...in my opinion, I disagree with the whole 'open marriage' perspective. I think that is destructive and a insult to the true meaning of what a 'marriage 'really is. Poster, why would someone be be married if they are going to 'open' it up to other sexual partners? I find it hard to fathom that many people 'choose' to go into a blessed, serious unions as partners, (for life), swear an allegience to each other in front of family, friends and god, (in some cases) but do not understand the deep meaningfulness of marriage committment to ONE person, nor do some of them have the strength, the givingness and caring for their spouses to just ....simply resist sexual temptations. So yes, a wife having sex with another woman and her husband experiencing lap dances at some strip club does warrant being called ...cheating in my books. There is a big emotional disconnect all related to that 'me me, I want what I can get' mentality so many young folks, nowadays. Marriage is "we we..how can we build a life, a family".
All of us are not always content in our marriages and it's a challenge, good times and bad...but it's those challenges is what makes the connections of marriage run deeper into our souls, than just simply 'love.' It's the commitment, the full trust and huge efforts that is much, much more important. It's the respect, the comfort and happiness that comes through, in the end after these challenges.. Having a cheat/fling/affair with anyone..male or female or a lap dance... is just short term pleasure for oneself and pleasure is self-involved. Not the commendable character trait of what makes a good marriage partner. I would say. Happiness is other-involved. So therefore, when one's marriage is a promise of fidelity that two people remain trustworthy and behave in an honorable manner, then yes, if one or both partners "chooses" to step out of the boundaries of their marriage with another person and cheat...it is wrong. Agree or disagree-I really don't give a hoot. This is my opinion and I stand by it. Good luck and take care.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 If your husband is being sexually satisfied, in a hands on physical sense, you don't know about it, don't expect it etc...it's cheating. It's not being honest.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (4 May 2008):
Well hmmmmm...........it ain't walking the dog............
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A
female
reader, Misti Hdz +, writes (4 May 2008):
Misti Hdz is verified as being by the original poster of the question First of all thanx for everyone's inputs, but I have not done it while in my relationship but I wanted to ask. And I do not agree with everyone. You all say that any sexual encounter with someone is cheating, but I don't believe that. If my man decides to go to a strip club with some friends and one of them buy him a lap dance, it is sexual but he's not cheating. Or is he?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): Yes, of course this is cheating. Cheating is having a sexual encounter with someone other than your partner.
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (4 May 2008):
Of course it is. Is there something making you think perhaps its not? I dont see how anyone could justify doing something sexual with someone other then there partner and not think its cheating.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): We are becoming a society that is so mixed up and confused.
YES! It is cheating and if you did this, then you've cheated
In this new world age of high tech and all this other BS, I don't agree with everything that is NOW considered cheating,
but eating another woman's pussy or just letting another woman eat you is cheating!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): We are becoming a society that is so mixed up and confused.
YES! It is cheating and if you did this, then you've cheated
In this new world age of high tech and all this other BS, I don't agree with everything that is NOW considered cheating,
but eating another woman's pussy or just letting another woman eat you is cheating!
...............................
A
female
reader, asian tealeaf +, writes (4 May 2008):
 yes dear, anything that involves oral, anal, vaginal, is cheating, anything that u feel guilty about cuz u know ur wrong is usually cherating, anything that involves sneaking behind ur partners back, even if theres no sex but its a date is and can be taken as cheating. unless nur partner has absolute full awareness of everythoing that is going on, and is in consensus w the situsation at hand....is cheating. so to answer ur question, yes, its cheating, whether with the same sex or not. for all ur love etc should be devoted to ur partner..er.... unless ur both swingers. but, another answer for another time.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Simply: yes.
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A
female
reader, pieinthesky29  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 Of course it is! Cheating is cheating.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2008): umm what wouldnt make that cheating??just trying to understand the logic..last i checked doing anything sexual with anyone other then your partner(some say unless your partner says it's okay as in a threesome or something personally though i still consider that cheating)is cheating plain and simple
-michael
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (4 May 2008):
I think it is.
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