A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:some educated answers would be great here!! I'm with a women with whom I make love with, literally for hours!!! Its great. The other day shehad an orgasm through penetration, and I was shocked to learn that that was only the second time that had happened in her entire sexual history.We've had sex maybe 6 times so far, and usually I can get her to have an orgasm via oral. but Its really tough to get her to have it through penetration. It seems like a miracle that it happened the other day, and I'm not sure what I did right. Are there any "methods" or ways I can ensure orgasm in a difficult partner- other than oral?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 You sound like a very considerate lover; I think that you should just keep doing what you're doing, and talk about what pleases both of you when you're together.
Two tips from me. One, keep in mind that only about 25-30% of women reach climax through intercourse alone. That leaves the majority requiring some type of clitoral stimulation, either manual or oral, to achieve orgasm. Two, think of her clitoris not as something to be dismissed or ignored, but rather as her very small counterpart of your penis. If your penis is not stimulated during sex, would you climax? Most likely not, right? So be sure to continue the stimulation of her clitoris.
It may be that the orgasm during intercourse she experienced was the result of some really good lovemaking combined with clitoral stimulation during intercourse. So figure out ways to include that stimulation during intercourse, either manually or with the angle of your bodies together.
Good luck, don't put too much pressure on her or yourself to achieve the same result every time, and by all means, continue to have fun and explore each other's bodies!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your warm hearted answers! Greatly appreciated!!!
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (5 May 2008):
 Just keep doing what you're doing. If you can give her an orgasm orally, that's already more than satisfactory, considering that some women have great difficulty achieving orgasm at all. If you can give her an orgasm through penetration, just consider that the icing on the cake.
Now that she knows what it's like to have a vaginal orgasm, it'll be easier for her in future, not least because she's in a better position to tell you what you're doing right. But don't apply pressure. If she doesn't have a vaginal orgasm, just let her have it orally and let her know just how excited and happy you are that she's having an orgasm (the fact that you're up close when she's having it is a big plus!)
Anyway, it sounds to me like you must be a pretty fantastic lover, and your sexual relationship can't fail to get better!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Not sure mate it depends a lot on her mood, my partner used to get so exited she would squirt and have multiples now im not sure whether we're just a bored couple or not but on the odd occasion usualy after ive done something she likes during the day or days prior she still goes off. look after her emotions first and she'll come any which way you do it
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A
female
reader, Rhian2020  +, writes (4 May 2008):
Hello,I think that you're putting too much pressure on giving this woman an orgasm. Your partner isn't difficult, everyones bodies are different. I recently read in a magazine that some women never experience an orgasm in their entire lives. I think you should just concentrate in enjoying this loving sexual relationship you have with this woman. Take the time to get to know each others bodies and don't put too much pressure on giving her an orgasm as it will stress the both of you out and then your sexual relationship will suffer. You're clearly a considerate man as you want to give her more orgasms. Just learn more about what she likes in the bedroom and then her having orgasms will come naturally.Good luck.xx.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 May 2008):
 There have been many articles on this topic here in Dear Cupid. I think you can search for them. I guess that the general lines are as follows
1) your willingness to try to please her
2) openness to discuss what each person likes or dislikes
3) her willingness to know her own body and see what makes her tick.
Not having orgasm with penetration only is common for many women. Being this willing to please her maybe is not as common. You have the winning cards; use them. You will enjoy it.
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