| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: This is a question for all the men. Why do you guys disappear? Like, after a few dates, few phone calls, emails..then, just vanish into thin air? for all the baffled women out there, whats up guys? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Though I can understand the poster's disappointment at the man's vanishing, I agree with the Wizard. Some times people dump us by vanishing. We should learn to accept this and move on.
Sometimes, people disappear for reasons other than disliking you. So, their disappearing for a short period might mean nothing. People do have lives, jobs, things to take care of. But, if you find they just reappear if YOU insist, and if you notice they just respond to what you say and then make a quick and graceful exit, then I think you should stop trying and just move on.
And, I agree with the Wizard again: Girls do it, too. I may add "they do it all the time".
Take care, poster.
A
female
reader, Deema  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Nice to hear a mans point on The Rules. Seemed to wrok for me, and I did it without even realising - my daughter bought me the book, and I was already in a relationship with the man who is now my husband. I was very unsure of having any relationship, so kept him veery much at a distance, even dumped him couple of times cus wasn't sure. Sent him crazy, couldn't understand why till I read the Rules. Seems harsh when you first read it, but it definitely DID work. Glad to hear I got that right. Thanks YOS. x
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Hi,
I would say you are simply meeting the wrong type of men. Which is something you will have to look at.
You do not mention if you sleep with them early on in a relationship. If you do a lot of men will simply dump you once they've carved out that extra notch in their belt.
But I am of the belief that if a man will do this to you anyway then you are better off finding out now that he is of this personality type rather than when you have a couple of kids and he starts harping on about your past boyfriends.
Ask your friends, do they like these guys you meet? Ask them to be honest with you , do they think you always go for the same type of man? Friends are often the best source when it comes to finding out what you are doing wrong.
Most likely you are just going to have to start changing the "type" you go for.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 June 2008):
 Deema's suggestion is good, as a guy I can tell you that 'the rules' work. Although sticking to them 100% is probably impossible, the closer you get the better.
They are vanishing because they're not looking for a relationship, just sex, most likely. You don't say, but either they're getting what they want (sex), and then disappearing, or thinking that they're not going to (easily) get what they want, and move on to an 'easier' target.
Date a guy for a while without getting too close, or revealing too much. Mystery, romance, 'the chase': you'll have the double advantage of both getting him to want you more, and weeding out any guys who are just looking for a quickie.
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A
female
reader, Deema +, writes (16 June 2008):
Try reading The Rules hun, it gives a lot of answers to al this stuff. Its by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. Be great to hear what the guys say though.
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