A
female
age
41-50,
*howstopper
writes:Y do MOST men CHEAT? What gives them a reason to have more than 1 women? I no theres alot of reason but whats the MAIN reason? Does SEX plays a BIG role in a relationship? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Of Course, that doesn't explain why 10% of all children ARE NOT biologically the husbands...
*men running out to get DNA testing of their dependents*
Which explains why women are drawn to two different types of men, the good man, and the bad boy. Studies have shown that during most of her cycle, women are drawn to a nice, supportive man, in order to raise their children. During ovulation, when a woman is most fertile, she is drawn by attraction more, and that is when she can be attracted to that "bad boy" type... It's nature's way of mixing up the gene pool and the females way of insuring that one of her children will survive, by giving them the broadest spectrum of the gene pool to select from. Food for thought...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): There is an interesting biological theory which adds to why men and women cheat. All organisms are supposed to try and reproduce, keep the genes going. A basic difference between men and women is that a woman can only pass her genes on one baby at a time, whereas men can have sex several times a day and spread their genes through many women in a short span. Monkeys do this, the dominant male has sex with all the females and fights off all the other males.Women on the other hand, biologically need care and protection when they are pregnant. They are vulnerable at this time, imagine monkeys again who need the protection of a male to fight off other dangers and look after them, you get the idea. Anyway, so there is a theory that a woman will look for a man who will 1- look after her when she is vulnerable and 2- has the best genes to pass on. Sometimes the male with the best genes is not available, so a women will find a reliable mate to stick around, and then look around for someone with better genes, and get pregnant with them.Its a cute theory, doesn't reflect how we are shaped by social and other psychological forces, its obviously not that simple but there is a bit of truth in there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I agree with the sentiment here. Men don't cheat more than women. They even cheat for the same reasons overall. Sometimes it's just cheap sex with men, but there are also millions of men who have never done this in their lives and it's not for lack of opportunity. Some people date one cheating partner after another for their whole lives, while other people have hardly ever been cheated upon no matter how many other people they date. This is not an accident. If you really keep ending up being cheated upon, then after a while you have to face up to helping cause it. whether you're intending to cause it or not, something is at work here. If it's not how you act during the relationship, then it's how you pick your partners in the first place. (If you say "but they pick me!" then that is really still your choice too. Most cheaters make a lot more passes at women than average men do. And you're still probably rejecting some men's passes but not others.)
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Yes, a lot of men are bastards and you apparently pick them up.
Try changing your outlook so you don't attract the player type.
Most of us don't cheat but the ones that do always have a girl on their arm ( and I'm sure you are one of these girls) . So ask your friends for their honest opinions when you meet a guy, if they are truly honest with you they can help you spot the losers in the pack.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Sorry, "the damned bastard wasn't giving HER what SHE needs".
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Having once watched a famous married movie actor spend about two hours trying to pick up a gorgeous waitress (he didn't succeed) I have another thought for this thread.
A sense of entitlement might be a reason to consider too. This man obviously did not suffer from low self-esteem. And since then, I have never been able to watch any of his films without thinking that he was a hound.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (17 June 2008):
The way you asked your questions is biased. It suggests that men cheat and women don't. That all women have enough with one man, only. That there is only one reason for an action: if I eat chocolate ice cream, for example, there can be one reason, and one reason only. All this is far from the truth.
Many people, men and women, do cheat. The reasons are so many. If you were cheated on, dear poster, maybe you should try to narrow your question to why your man cheated.
And, yes, sex does play a big role in relationships. For men and women alike. Where I live, when a woman cheats, the first answer that comes to people's minds is "The damned bastard wasn't giving him what she needs".
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A
female
reader, scrazy +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Like happytochat said, men who cheat are usually insecure and have low self esteem.
They believe that having love from more then one person will make them love themselves and make them happier - but as you can see that doesn't work, it makes things messy when their partner has found out they're cheating.
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A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (17 June 2008):
The thing in common that ALL cheaters (men and women) have in common is insecurity, low self esteem, not much self worth and/or a high need for attention, affirmation and a desperate need for an ago boost!
People cheat because they dont feel happy within themself, there partners love isnt enough, so sleeping with someone else gives them that temporary fullfilment. Its not the partners fault in any way! People who cheat are generally like 'bottom less pits'- you can never fill them up, you can never make them feel good about themself, they have to believe it themself.
Hope this has helped you understand a bit better.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2008): Most men don't cheat. Granted, a lot do, but not most. Also, a lot of women cheat, so it's not solely men who are to blame.
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