A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just recently started talking to this girl, we havnt hung out yet but she has already asked me to come over to her house, is that somewhat of a slutty thing to do? I really would like her to be my GF but it seems shes looking just for sex. Btw im 22 shes 20 Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): Why does everyone assume this girl wants to have sex with you. She's invited you over to her house, she hasn't invited you into her bed. She's explained why, she's tired, she can't be bothered to go out.
I'm the same, I invite guys over all the time. It dosen't mean I'm looking for sex. It's just more comfortable to get to know somebody in a comfortable environment, and I can't be bothered with all the fuss of getting dressed up, putting on makeup to go out for a meal that is worse than anything I can cook at home.
If your going round for sex, I fear you will be disappointed, what you will find is a very tired woman, who just wants to put up her feet with a bottle of wine, whilst she takes time to get to know you better.
"Slutty" - You want to improve your idea of women. This is not a word that I understand. There are two types of women. The sexually adventurous and the more timd and carefull type who has fewer partners. The only sluts I see are the men, who love to put women down.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 She was trying to be nice to you and being etiquette.
I am sorry you see it that way.
There is obviously some chemistry between you two or she would not have invited you over.
Whether she has sex in her mind or not ,
you will have to go over there to find out.
Don't put the cart before the horse.
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A
male
reader, oldfool  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 There is an expression: "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth".
In this situation, it means accepting the young lady's invitation graciously, without making nasty judgements.
I think it might be unfortunate if this young lady had sex with you. Why? Because you would hold her cheap. Just because she seems to be offering herself on a platter (although we haven't actually established that yet) doesn't mean she's cheap.
One day you may find yourself chasing the remote, hard-to-get princess of your dreams. And when you eventually win her, you may find that the "slutty" one, the one you held so cheap, was actually better. Don't make judgements based on how "easy" she was. Value her approaches. They don't necessarily mean she's slutty; it may just mean that she's really attracted to you and wants to hang out.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 So?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): I did offer to take her out but she happened to be busy and offered "How about you come over later" since she doesnt have time atm. I just met her as in 3-5 days or something but we havent talked outside of the phone or txt messege.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 June 2008):
Ehem... Her inviting you to her house is no indication that she wants to sleep with you. Now, if that's what she wants, why should it be awful? A girl wanting to sleep with me? WOW! Maybe we can trade places, and you stay here and I go to her house?
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A
male
reader, WastedLife +, writes (3 June 2008):
Consider yourself lucky! Drop the concept of slutty from your life and recognize that girls have lots of choices in sex - especially at 20, and you are privileged. Go have fun, talk and learn, and if the opportunity presents, then go for it if it feels right for both of you. Waiting is a waste of time, and great relationships CAN and often do start with sex. My most memorable and wonderful one did, and I still care for her. Move from your heart and not your ego and you will be fine. Only an ego would ask questions about "slutty", etc. Treat her well and see where things go.
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A
female
reader, I'llTryToHelp +, writes (3 June 2008):
 According to your question, she asked you over and it SEEMS she wants sex? What did she say exactly? She asked you over to her house too soon? You just started talking today? Yesterday? Last week?
The word slutty in reference to a female always makes me angry. So if you go over to her house, does that make you "slutty" too? If you have sex with her, is she a slut but you're not? Just curious as to how this double standard comes into play so often in reference to girls.
Guys can have sex with lots of girls and be considered manly but the girls they had sex with are sluts with their reputations ruined.
My point is this: Don't be so quick to judge!
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A
female
reader, sarah_s  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 If you haven't gone out with her yet she invited you to hung out at her house it could naturally mean she found some sort of attraction towards you or (and) likes to get to know you better. It's usually always important to get to know the person first until you do want to start having a relationship with them.
Best wishes. Sarah.
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A
female
reader, Lily Moll +, writes (2 June 2008):
She probably just likes you, and isn't being shy about it. Some girls are more straightforward than others. Maybe she wants you to be her boyfriend AND she wants to have wild and crazy sex with you. Rare, I know, but it happens.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (2 June 2008):
If she made it clear that she wanted you to come over to her house to have sex with her then maybe it is a bit "slutty."
But it's the 21st century. Women are allowed to want sex without relationships now.
Be flattered, she thinks you are cute.
If you aren't comfortable with being looked at as a sex object then just don't go round there. Simple as.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, karinana +, writes (2 June 2008):
 That depends. Is she inviting you over for sex or just to hang out? If you want to take it slow, without saying so, just invite her out somewhere public. See how interested in you she is. Take her out a couple times. If she keeps going out with you, I'm sure she wants much more than just sex. If she just wants sex she'll turn down your offers after a while.
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