A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my bf for 15 months now. I'm not so sure about how he feels now. He was very loving and always took care of me. I love him as well but I have severe mood swings and a very short temper. I would say the cruelest things...but I never really meant them. He's told me that I abuse him emotionally (when we fight) and push his buttons...but he's pushed me a few times as well....I have to say that it is partly my fault cuz I was just tantalizing him. Anyways, we're in a long distance relationship now and 1 month before I left he became a little distant...always busy with work and just generally changed a little bit. He doesn't compliment me anymore, doesn't really text me, doesn't hold my hands, and spends a lot of time at work. I know he's busy and we live together, so I can understand if he's stressed out by work. However, I just don't feel like he loves me as much anymore. He denies it of course, but he also told me that he can't guarantee me anything after I move away. I said I just wanted reassurance and he said he cannot reassure me anymore and that he's tired because he feels that I'm just waiting for the relationship to fail anyways. He also told me wanted space (when I was leaving in 3 weeks!).I dont' know what to think. I can't talk to him about it cuz he just gets annoyed about it and I don't want to come off as needy and desperate. Some of my friends tell me that he's probably having second thoughts about us, and some say that he probably just needs a little space. He's become a workaholic now (or so he says). Before he said we had to skype every day...but right before I left he said we could skype once or twice a week. I'm so confused.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): No, I don't think anybody should put up with any kind of abuse. That is why I've been working on my issues. I said I am confused because I'm not sure whether to keep trying with him or to give up, whether he still loves me to keep it going or not. That's what I'm confused about. That's all. I know I can only look at things in a positive way and move on with my life. I just needed to get it out. Thanks for your advice.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (4 June 2008):
 I think that he is dealing with the situation the only way that he can. You are leaving in 3 weeks, and have been abusive towards him in the past. So my guess is that he is distancing himself from you, so it wont hurt so much when you, leave/break up.
I dont understand why you are confused though. Do you think he should have put up with your behaviour. Ask yourself!! would you have?
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Or, he's ending it. My rule of thumb is this: if anyone asks for "space", in any way, give it to him/her and just go on with your life. Never return.
Wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, Star_07  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 It sounds like he really does love you and cares about you but does not want to be abused anymore. Maybe he wants his space from you to think about if he really wants to break things off from you or try to work on the relationship. If you dont want to lose him, then you should tell him that you will give him his space and that you are willing to work on your issues during this time. You really should consider counseling or anger management in order to deal with your feelings in a positive way.
Let your boyfriend know that you love him and are willing to change things, even if he doesnt know if he still wants to be with you-that's a risk you would have to take!
Good Luck!
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