A
female
age
41-50,
*licia
writes:I still can’t seem to let go of the fact that the man I truly loved and gave my whole entire life and being to and made future plans and left me for the mother of his unborn child. I keep wondering whether this child really is his or whether she just didn’t tell him about it to trap him. She told him of the pregnancy after they had broken up for a few months and he was with me now and the minute she found out that if she kept the baby he wouldn’t be with her she decided to keep it which to be honest with you I resent her for. We could have been happy and she took it all away and I just cant get over it. I want and need him to come back for my life to be back on track otherwise I am having thoughts of going back to my now married ex who has asked me to be his mistress and since at this point I feel I deserve to be hurt and used by men… why not give them the satisfaction. Maybe feeling worthless and used will help me cope with the fact that I was left because I wasn’t worthy. I’m not meant to be happy. I have to have him back. Please help.
View related questions:
mistress Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, imapeppergirl  +, writes (14 September 2008):
I understand what your saying because I am also in love with a man I can't have. Take it from someone who knows trying to hold on to someone who doesn't want you isn't worth the time you put into it. Don't do anything to punish yourself. That you don't deserve. If he left you then he did you a favor. As hard as it is you have to let him go and find someone better. You do deserve it. And if you don't believe I understand. I have spent the last 16 years in a relationship with someone who got married right after we started seeing each other. He always knew all the right words to say to keep me in denile but when push comes to shove he would rather be with the other women. I gave up my entire life so that I could prove to him that I would be there for him. I feel sometimes like not having him in my life is like not breathing but I have come to realize that I am worth a whole lot more than what he is willing to give me. And so are you. Don't ask for more pain. Find someone who is willing to fight to keep you.
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (18 July 2007):
 Sorry...the song is called "Gold" by Beverly Knight...
Listen to it....
...............................
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (18 July 2007):
Alicia...where is your self worth? You should not base another person to "make" you feel happy, you should be happy with or without someone..period! You do not have to have a man in your life to "make" you happy...wake up!
He made a decision to be with her, right or wrong, it doesn't matter now, he did it and you need to move on and let time heal your pain. It is NOT the end of the world. If he wanted to be with you whether or not she was pregnant, he would. He chose not to...his lose then if she did do it just to "try" to get him back. That doesn't mean there relationship will work out, he just feels he needs to be there and she did it to win him back. She won, but if he was smarter and realized that he no matter what wanted to be with you, he would.
And why would you want to be with a married man to "just" be his mistress?? Where does that get you? All your doing is feeding him what he wants and yes, all he does is just use you. Leave your ex alone and be strong! Everyone is meant to be happy, it's the choice we ALL make in life that makes it or breaks it. And by you "feeling" as if that is what you need to do, you are adding fire to the fuel to make it last longer (your pain) then to realize you are worth gold! Move on, he is not the only fish in the sea, and IF he truly wants you, he will come back and realize he goofed up. Meantime...you move on. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are wonderful, you will meet someone new and you are not meant for someone to walk all over you...because you are NOT.
Someone had me listen to a song called "Pure Gold"...pull it up on UTube and listen to it....and if you have to...100 times.
Take care...this to shall pass....
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 I can't agree with you in that you need to give "satisfaction" to men who want to use you. I don't think you would agree, either, if you were not in pain. At the moment, you want sex without commitment as a way to forget the man you love. But, sex is useless for this purpose. You will only get hurt and people will treat you like dirt, because you will allow them to. Absolutely bad idea. You are a woman with intrinsic value.
You say you resent the other woman for keeping the baby. Well, that's her choice. Whatever your ideas about abortion, no one has ever said that another woman, currently involved with the baby's father, has the right to decide over an abortion to be performed on the man's ex. This is not right. The baby is absolutely innocent in this matter. What's more, the child will be the victim of the mess his/her parents have created.
I'm afraid the man you love doesn't really love you. He had broken up with his previous girlfriend, and goes back to her when he finds out she was pregnant. Of course the baby is important and he should look after the two. Many people will agree that he's being responsible. But, that also means your feelings are not that important to him.
My advice is, move on. This man is not for you. I know it hurts, but, this is reality. I don't think you can get any help if we don't bring the bare facts.
...............................
|
