A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, i'm 19 and i live in the UK. Something has really been eating away at me more than ever recently. It's always crossed my mind ever since i have been growing up as a teenager, but now it's hurting me more than ever. I get on with most people, i come across as confident, friendly and i am told i look good. I have had one girlfriend, whom i didn't get really far with. I didn't even kiss her but i found out she is easy and quite stupid, you can say i found out a lot more about her after we split so i guess i can't class her as a 'girlfriend' really. And i know i am better off away from that type.But this is whats fired my emotions back up recently. Theres this girl where i go on weekends, she is stunning to me and i have known her for quite a while now. With my mind i dismissed her and thought i had no chance, until her mum told me that "she likes me". Of course this put me on cloud 9, but there lies my problem. I didn't even strike up a conversation with her becuase i just can't push myself to these things. And now she's going off with someone else and it's really killing me, knowing that i should of done this and that before and now it's too late. It's not her or his fault and i know the guy who she is in the process of getting with and he's ok. It's my fault that i didn't do anything and i am having to stand by now and watch this happen.I think about her, and the fact that i just can't talk to girls at all, and even when i dream it's stil there in my mind. Now that i have no chance with her there seems to be nothing now to think about, that small chance i may of had made me happy and kept me going. And now theres no-one else and it's driving me crazy, i feel all alone again now and it's making me really upset. Going out and seeing guys do things with girls so easily, it winds me up and even more so when the guys mistreat the girls and the girls fall for it all. They are doing something with ease that i have never been able to, and my friends are the same. It breaks my heart to see that everyone else has moved on and i'm still stuck in the shy frame of mind with girls on par with a 12 year old.I'm even starting to think that i will die alone, but i know that it's stupid. I'm 19 now and i have to start moving into gear with this becuase if i dont it's going to send me over the top.thanks for listening, sorry it's a bit long.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2008): I am so shy too and just like you, I missed out on a beautiful girl whom I knew liked me, I just could'nt talk to her. It sucks so bad!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): Thanks.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 July 2007):
 Your problem is more common than you think. I guess everyone has missed out someone out of shyness. This is not the end of the world and you'll certainly not die alone if you do something about it.
You need to start little by little, talking to girls not interested in you (this is easy to know, I guess). Maybe with friends or something like that. Then, as you gain confidence, you'll find the courage to move ahead. You need to WANT to do it, though.
And, what happens if someone likes you and you get involved with her while you're gaining courage? Well, you'll have made it.
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