A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been close friends with this lad for about 18 months and have always been sexually attracted to him and we have always had a sexual tension between us. The night of my 21st birthday I slept with him (obviously I was very drunk!)and slept with him a couple of times (under the influence of alcohol)and then he told me he thought we should stop as not to ruin the friendship, I agreed with him.6months later for no real reason we started sleeping together again, this time a lot more regularly and friends knowing about it etc. Obviously by now my feelings towards him were growing so after much soul-searching built up the courage to tell him. He told me that to him I am a best friend, he thinks I'm gorgeous, loves me to bits, but it's just sex.Now he knows how I feel and I know how he feels the sensible option would be to stop sleeping with him-but I havn't. I like him. A lot. It feels like by sleeping with him I can 'keep him'. Please any advice would be a huge help. Need to know what you would do to stop the temptation-stop seeing them? Have it out with them? thankyou
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007): I know what you are going through, I am having the same problem now, just a little different. I have this guy that is just sex and when we got started he told me that after his last girlfriend he doesn't want to date for a while. Which I was fine with. Unfortunaly, I have started to imagine that he may like me for more. But I have been ignoring a lot of the signs that he truely doesn't want more. Its the gaps in time where we don't talk for a few days, and thing like that. If he wanted more he would call more.
I also I had sex a few times with a friend of mine. I had an easier seperation. As with any just sex relationship if one of the parties finds someone they want to get serious with the just sex relationship you have ends. This is what happend to me. You sound more attached so do be careful.
Tonight I am telling my just sex I talked about first that this isn't the relationship I want, that I want a boyfriend. I am going to tell him that I know that he doesn't want that and that is fine but I no longer want to continue this just sex relationship because it is not making me happy. I would advice you to do the same. I know where you are coming from and I have put a ton of thought into this before.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 Ditto.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 There is nothing but unhappiness and pain down the path you've chosen. He was upfront and honest with you, it's just sex. If you think you are "keeping" by using sex you're sadly mistaken. You are being used pure and simple. Stop the sex, keep the friendship if you think you can handle it but if you can't then stop all contact and move on. That is is only way you will find peace of mind.
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