A
female
age
36-40,
*rsRadcliffe
writes:so i'll make this straight to the point, when me and my boyfriend fool around he only gets turned on when he's pleasing me. If I just want to concentrate on him he cant stay hard...it's as if he's not touching me and trying to get me off, he isn't interested in sex at all. He also doesn't seem to like very many things sexually...kissing his neck does nothing for him, Kissing his chest or running my fingers over his body tickles him, running my fingers along the edge of his boxers tickles him...and he's always very dry. It makes it really hard to jerk him off...i'm sort of losing faith in my sex abilities (when I know that I can do a great job, i've been told so but my past few guys) but with him I feel like I have no idea. So what do you do when you're boyfriend is impossible to keep aroused??
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male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 It could be a number of things, none of which have anything to do with you.
For some guys, it is an issue of dominance and control. If they do not feel in control by doing action, they get turned off.
For some other guys, they feel that the woman doing the work, or doing certain acts is degrading to women, and he feels guilty for it. This happens a lot with men that were sexually abused.
If you can find a way for him to feel he is in control, even though you are doing the work, that might do it.
Lastly, have you tried mutual actions...like a 69 where you both are going at the same time?
-Frank B Kermit
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (17 July 2007):
 If there's a problem here, you're not it. He does get aroused, you see, so, this is not a physical problem. His mind is at the root of the issue.
I don't think you're doing anything wrong. Don't blame it on yourself.
I suggest you talk openly to him and ask him what is going on.
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