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anonymous
writes:Hoping someone can help me here. I dated a guy earlier in the year who...I thought wanted more than I could give. He wanted more and let me know it but I let him know that all I could offer was friendship. I thought he was ok with it but he phoned me recently and told me he could not be my friend and that I had hurt him too much. Help...I am confused. I handled things as decently as I could but I still seem to have offended him. Why is he acting like this and what can I do now?? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): Brilliant, wise advice from the other aunts on this page. I agree with all of them. Yes, as Daniel says, this is a case of 'unrequited love' and it really is a painful place for anyone to be. He's in love with you and you can't reciprocate. But no one is to blame because he put himself there, not you. So, what can you do? You can do absolutely nothing. His choice to not be your friend is not your punishment, dear. These are his feelings, he owns them and he deals with it. Being in contact with you will make his situation unbearable. Leave him alone. Respect him and give a lot of space. You did nothing wrong, you were truthful, you didn't play games nor strung him along. Good luck, hun and perhaps in the future when he heals a bit and dates someone else..that may be the time to be friends again. Good luck.
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female
reader, Bunnygirl  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Been on the other side and believe me pushing it doesnt help at all. A letter is a good idea i totally agree with the answer below. Then let him know you are there when needed and back off, relax and let him breathe. If you are meant to be friends in time you will be........
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Very simple: he still loves you, and finds it very painful that he can't be more than just a friend. He is in pain and your presence makes it more difficult for him to move on.
You mention you were honest in treating him, and you take this to mean he shouldn't be hurt. That's wrong. I assume you know unrequited love hurts like hell. This is the real problem. Yes, you are not to blame; if you don't love him, that's it, and I can't but agree.
I see you are worried about losing a friend. That speaks very well of you. But, I'm afraid there is not much you can do. Just as there isn't anything he can do about the fact you don't love him. I'm insisting in this because I am here to help, and, in this sense, I want you to see the heart of the matter, from his point of view.
Maybe your friendship is doomed.
Perhaps it would be good if you wrote him a letter or something, or if you phoned him, and you said you do care about him, but you'll stay away because that's what he needs. That you'll be there if he needs you. And, that you appreciate him as a person and are hurt that he needs to stay away. That could help in the future.
Hope this helps.
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reader, flower girl +, writes (16 July 2007):
 His pride has taken a bit of a bashing because he wanted more from you than you could offer, it's not your fault you were up front and honest and he will get over it just give him time.
Take care.xx.
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reader, HelpingHand7  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 well i think you did all you could do and theres nothing wrong with that give him some time and space, its a good thing that you said only friends because its honest and you wouldnt be leading him on.
hope this helps
message me if you wanna caht
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 July 2007):
 All you can do is what you have done and that is to be honest.
If you told him you didn't want anymore then friendship then there was nothing more you could have done. Maybe it'll be easier for this lad for you not to be friends until he gets over his feelings??
xxxxxxx
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