A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need people's opinions on this, so please help if you can.....i went out for 4 months last year with this guy lets call him A. I was head over heels in love with him, even though we didnt have the greatest relationship, anyway i lost my virginity to him...and a week after he told me he was really sorry but he was getting back together with his ex. I was so upset about this, and never spoke to or saw him again....so i dont think i was ever really over him even though i tried to convince myself i was.I got an email from him completly out of the blue being really lovely etc and saying he owe's me an apology and that he wants to meet up with me, i told him last yesterday i would ring him but when it came to it i couldnt bring myself to dial his number....all my old feelings are coming but and i dont know what to do...please help x
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou everyone for your advise and opinions, i sent him an email today saying that i didnt want anything to do with him. x
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (4 August 2007):
 Words fail me about a guy like this!! First he dates you,takes away your virginity, then dumps you like toy that he has got bored with.
My love, you are not the first person he will use for his own gratification, and you sure hell won't be the last. He is already repeating history with this other poor lass too.
Find yourself a decent lad, someone who values,cares and respects you. I have a daughter a similar age to you and if a guy ever did this dispicable thing to her, I would kick him in the privates and tell him not to go anywhere within a 10 mile radius of my daughter.
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A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 You're very young, so I don't think that your decision here will severely impact the rest of your life unless you get pregnant or get some STD that there's not a cure for. If you go back to him, what you will get is an education about life and love. Some things you should know. You've already felt this, "it hurts when you split up with someone you love." "It hurts worse, I think the second time." You will always have special feelings for the person you lose your virginity to, that's a normal feeling. Don't be in too much of a rush to "grow up". After 18, you will have your whole life to deal with "issues". Enjoy what you have left of your childhood, be happy and love life, and try to always carry that feeling with you. If your going to have sex, always, always, always use protection. It's just smart.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): heres whats probably going through his head. he broke your heart for another girl, but u must have seemed pretty easy to lose your virginity to him. so now hes broken up with his "ex" and he wants you back. he probably did the same with his ex. he is playing the 2 of you. i reccomend you get out of it before he gets another girl involved. hope this helped and good luck. :D
XxXxX
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A
female
reader, maria3 +, writes (3 August 2007):
Dont do it. your instinct has already told you not to. Its a bad idea as you will get hurt. It may only be a chat here and there but it will tear you apart again, and again. Leave it and get on with your life. Even if he says he wants to get back dont get back with him he'll hurt you again as blokes know if they can do something once they will do it again and again and they keep testing how far you will go and what you'll put up with till it drives you mad!!Bit like how children test there carers patience. Girls need advice from loads of different sources its how we deal with problems in our lives I can relate to you in that way.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 My dear, my advice is, stay away from him. He doesn't respect or love you.
When you're confused, you need certainty; you need to know what you can expect in order to act wisely. I believe you need STATEMENTS.
Here you can have mine: He may have used you the first time. We don't really know whether he really went back to his ex or not, but we do know that he had a lot of interest in you for four months and then, after the sex, he dumped you. This is not a decision you come up with in ten seconds; he must have been thinking about it for a long time, and then it came to him after the sex.
Now he is back. You don't really know what he is thinking or why he is coming back. He sure owes you more than an apology, but, you know, he hasn't really given it. And then he waited for at least seven months to give it. Hmm. I suspect he is offering the "apology" to get you to see him and then try is luck with you again.
If I were you, I wouldn't e-mail him or ring him. Your instincts are so right. Don't let people think they can call you and then ask you to leave whenever they want.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 August 2007):
My dear, my advice is, stay away from him. He doesn't respect or love you.
When you're confused, you need certainty; you need to know what you can expect in order to act wisely. I believe you need STATEMENTS.
Here you can have mine: He may have used you the first time. We don't really know whether he really went back to his ex or not, but we do know that he had a lot of interest in you for four months and then, after the sex, he dumped you. This is not a decision you come up with in ten seconds; he must have been thinking about it for a long time, and then it came to him after the sex.
Now he is back. You don't really know what he is thinking or why he is coming back. He sure owes you more than an apology, but, you know, he hasn't really given it. And then he waited for at least seven months to give it. Hmm. I suspect he is offering the "apology" to get you to see him and then try is luck with you again.
If I were you, I wouldn't e-mail him or ring him. Your instincts are so right. Don't let people think they can call you whenever they want.
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