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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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I'd like to get back together w/ my ex even though she cheated on me.
Q. My ex cheated on me with a womanizer. they were together for 8 months and then he cheated; everyone warned her but she wouldn't listen! I still have strong feelings for her, and (very illogical) would like to get back with her).. However, I don't...
A. 21 March 2008: This is a very convoluted story. What is clear, however, is that she likes to play games. Pay attention to my words: I'm not saying she's a player, as saying that would mean that she doesn't have serious relationships, and I can't say it, though ... (read in full...)
I'm confused about whether he is looking for a visa to stay here or genuinly cares about me! Should I wait some years for him to get at the level I am at in this country?
Q. I don't know, maybe I needed this help; I guess that's why I'm writing this question here. My story is that I am a very attractive young female, in my early 30s, single, I've never been married, and I am still looking for my right better-half. I ...
A. 25 August 2007: I do believe you're very pretty and single. Beauty doesn't come with luck, or with an innate ability to relate to the opposite sex. So you can be lava hot and lonely. I also see that you want a kind of relationship that's very unusual these days, ... (read in full...)
I broached the subject of getting engaged to the father of my daughter and he said he never wanted engagement with anyone, his rejection hurt.
Q. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years has never discussed us getting engaged or married. He moved in with me when our 11 month old daughter was born. The other day i broached the subject of us getting engaged on her pending first birthday and we ended ...
A. 25 August 2007: Your question is about your relationship with this man. You very clearly say that you're afraid you could be rejected again, and ask whether you should talk to him, or wait until he does.
I think you should separate the two issues at stake he... (read in full...)
He chased me for 3 months, now he's backed off
Q. How to respond to a text saying I cant have a relationship I am damned by the devil. 3months and he chased me. I just want to know what happened...
A. 25 August 2007: I'm sorry to hear this. Apparently he doesn't have any interest in you anymore. Don't be sad and try to move on.... (read in full...)
How important is my hairstyle in attracting a woman?
Q. I was just wondering how important my hairstyle is to attracting girls. I'm not that into my hair, it's blonde...not much information i know, but can you help at all? Thanks for any of the help you give....
A. 25 August 2007: I'm not a woman, but, I've never heard women noticing a hairstyle or hair color.... (read in full...)
My 14 years old friend is dating a 23 year old woman
Q. My best friend is dating a 23 year old and he is 14 but he is very mature for his age and he is a very very big 14 do you think that they will wrk out...
A. 24 August 2007: In the long run, no, they won't.... (read in full...)
How can I moan more when having sex with my husband without getting all embarrassed?
Q. i have a question? i am very shy to moan during sex with my husband, i wanted to get some advice to help me open up to moaning for him. i love to have sex a lot just shy to moan. please help me? Tabitha...
A. 23 August 2007: I'm happy I helped.... (read in full...)
She broke up with me cause I WASNT jealous. I cant win!
Q. Two weeks ago today my girlfriend broke up with me after 19months together. We wernt just boyfriend and girlfriend though. She was my best friend. There was nothing wrong with her, her problems with me were that i didnt get jealous (except for one ...
A. 22 August 2007: I beg to disagree with other agony aunts, and agree with the poster of the question. I also feel that this man can't win. I don't find his NOT arguing and his NOT being jealous a reason good enough to dump him. If we follow the line of logic of ... (read in full...)
I discovered my boyfriend has a profile on a gay website!!!
Q. Background: I am living with my boyfriend of 4 years. I am in my 30's he in his mid-40's. He was previously married for 14 years and has two kids. I have 2 kids from previous marriage as well. He is in the military, and last year I left my job, ...
A. 22 August 2007: Madam, I'm afraid that, in the end, you will have to decide whether you want to stay with him, as he is, or you will leave him. This is a tough decision, I know, but I think it will help you if you think of it this way.
Please count on us if yo... (read in full...)
My new guy is not quite divorced yet. Is it ok to date him?
Q. Hi, I need advice. I am currently seeing a really great guy who although he says he is seperated from his wife and at the point of divorce is still living in the house with her. He says they have separate rooms and he is always with me. I don't ...
A. 21 August 2007: No, you're not doing the right thing. For you or the guy's wife.
For as long as they are legally married, his seeing someone else is cheating.
On the other hand, dear, I don't think it's convenient for you to date a married man. This is a ... (read in full...)
I want to dump my friend and she is not taking the hint
Q. Hey, I have this friend that I have known for a yearish. And I see her quite a bit but I don't want to keep seeing her because I have other friends that I prefer to hang around with. She keeps calling me up and asking me if I want to hang out, and I ...
A. 21 August 2007: I suspect there's more than friendship here. No friend-friend would continue calling if you were continually busy. She's a friend who wishes to be your girlfriend, and this, I guess, is what you don't like.
You should tell her exactly what you... (read in full...)
How often is "often enough".. ?
Q. How often should a normal guy masturbate a day?...
A. 19 August 2007: As the other posters said, the number depends on you. It's "unusual", rather than "normal", if you prefer masturbation to real sex with a partner.
I have a hunch that you're feeling "abnormal". Rest assured that you're not.... (read in full...)
Is it over or does she really just want space?
Q. I need to know the truth I have made an honest mistake and me and my girlfriend are very understanding about it, but at the same time she has come up with other ideas in her head. She says that she needs a little space and time to think I am trying ...
A. 19 August 2007: When a woman asks for space, you're almost always doomed. Give her that, and maybe, just maybe, she will come back to you. In the meantime, don't get desperate, and try to find things to do that will prevent you from thinking of her. There is ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else been through this?
Q. Hi I am so confused my x once again has stoped talking to me for no reason her x is a woman beater and I have always stood next to her when he was there she still talks to him but won't me I live 5 mins away from her and hate it I have tried every ...
A. 19 August 2007: Obviously she has problems, but apparently she does not want help from you. If you push it, she'll get very angry. Don't try to talk to her and see if she will come your way.... (read in full...)
I think he is a child porn addict.
Q. My boyfriend was out of town last night. I got drunk by myself (mistake) and had a thought that I would go to his apartment and look through some photos that he seemed to be hiding from me (mistake). So after much delay and trying to talk myself ...
A. 19 August 2007: I'm afraid there isn't a good way to look at it.
Let's say the good part first: he is aware of his problem and sought help. This is commendable. Maybe he was abused as a child, and his interest in the pictures comes from this.
Now for the b... (read in full...)
I'd like to get back together w/ my ex even though she cheated on me.
Q. My ex cheated on me with a womanizer. they were together for 8 months and then he cheated; everyone warned her but she wouldn't listen! I still have strong feelings for her, and (very illogical) would like to get back with her).. However, I don't...
A. 17 August 2007: I agree that if you love someone, being a shoulder to cry is very good. A very nice thing to do. But, here I am giving advice to a good man who wants her woman back. So my concern is not the woman, but the poster of the question.
If you beco... (read in full...)
I'm 15 and in love with a 25 year old footballer... is this age gap too big?
Q. Hi, Im 15 years old and have recently fallen for a 25 yr old footballer. He appears to have feelings for me as well, i would like to get involved with this guy if he feels the same way about me, is the age gap to big? I turn 16 in 5 months and ...
A. 17 August 2007: I'm afraid the age gap is too big. He is in a very different stage of life.
I think you should be careful in finding out whether he feels the same for you, too. You're the one at disadvantage here.... (read in full...)
She is not as commited as I am
Q. Hello all. Fairly long dilemma/question, here goes…. My girlfriend and I are now approaching 4 months together. It has been both the best and most depressing time of my life. I am totally in love with her. I fell for her when she had a boyf...
A. 17 August 2007: Yep, some more advice. It's not true that once a cheater, always a cheater. If you feel you can trust her, then, give her a break and treat her as if nothing happened in the past. This is the best way to maintain the relationship.... (read in full...)
I'd like to get back together w/ my ex even though she cheated on me.
Q. My ex cheated on me with a womanizer. they were together for 8 months and then he cheated; everyone warned her but she wouldn't listen! I still have strong feelings for her, and (very illogical) would like to get back with her).. However, I don't...
A. 17 August 2007: I think you are getting this wrong. Of course you have a say in whether a relationship is resumed or not, but, since you already love her, it is she who will decide whether she wants you back or not.
If you become a shoulder to cry on, in the h... (read in full...)
My ex contacted me again and we met up. Now I feel worse than the day we broke up!
Q. Hello everyone, It's now been two months since my girlfriend ended our relationship. While I thought I was finally beginning to get over her, I've felt as bad or worse than I did since day one of the breakup. I just feel at a complete lo...
A. 17 August 2007: You don't mention what she's been saying in these conversations, nor why she wanted to meet with you. It would be good if you updated us on this.
However, I think I can give you some advice. You're feeling this way because you want her back. Y... (read in full...)
I cum quicker when I am having intercourse than when I am alone
Q. it's weird, because when i play with myself it takes me quite a long time to come, but if i'm having sex and i start to play with my clit, then 1-2 minutes later i have an orgasm, lol. sounds stupid but why is this? is it becuase i'm having my ...
A. 17 August 2007: I think the reason is, your partner. You love the contact.... (read in full...)
I am sad cause guys dont notice me
Q. Hey! Im sad cause most off the time guys just dont notice me and I am really getting mad cause for almost 3 years since i have had a single boyfriend and i sometimes even think that i will never have one!! So I need some advice please!!! Thanks...
A. 17 August 2007: I assume you speak Spanish, and, since I happen to be near you, I will be speaking some Spanish with you.
We all have that fear when we're your age. But, the moment comes when we get the attention we deserve. Don't despair.
Todos tenemos... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend become "serious"??
Q. Has my 'boyfriend' become serious??? asked my boyfriend indirectly of course when we had been dating for three months where our relationship was going, he replied that he liked me, but was not sure if he wanted anything serious because he didnt...
A. 17 August 2007: I'm with Tellulah. Wait for a little while and see if he gets serious.... (read in full...)
I think I can give her mulitple orgasms, but she seems scared of it
Q. Hi, I was wondering something about when I'm going down on my girlfriend. She says I've made her orgasm by fingering, and past oral adventures. But she has said with all of them that at one point, she starts to feel tingling all over her body, ...
A. 17 August 2007: The tingling is pleasure. The good kind of it.... (read in full...)
I'd like to get back together w/ my ex even though she cheated on me.
Q. My ex cheated on me with a womanizer. they were together for 8 months and then he cheated; everyone warned her but she wouldn't listen! I still have strong feelings for her, and (very illogical) would like to get back with her).. However, I don't...
A. 17 August 2007: It's not illogical for you to still have feelings for her. That is called love. However, , first things first: Are you sure she wants to come back to you? Apparently this was not just a short adventure for her. It ended when the other man ended ... (read in full...)
I worry I will never find someone to love me
Q. hey everyone. im 15 and im worried that i wont get a boyfriend that actualy likes me for me. im not the prettyest kind of girl and not many people give me a chance in life. im worried that when im older i wont be able to start a family with some...
A. 17 August 2007: Don't despair. Life is long and you will find someone who will appreciate you for who you are. When I was your age, I used to believe the same thing you believe now. Happily for me, things changed; I just had to wait some time.
By the way, who... (read in full...)
I feel I've wasted 10 years of my life by being with this man. What should I do?
Q. He has failed to commit. I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for ten years, but now I like to take it further but he is not willing to. I have given him an ultimatum failure of which we separate but he is demanding sex first before he ...
A. 17 August 2007: Don't give in and stick to your word. Ten years do sound like enough time to know whether you want to commit to someone or not.
I may be wrong, but I have the suspicion he already knows he will be leaving you, but is trying his hand at a little s... (read in full...)
He wanted to be with me forever! ...But apparently he just "doesn't do long term relationships." I'm heartbroken!
Q. i was seeing this guy and we split up after 2 weeks, because of his ex-wife (they split up 9 years ago)we kept in touch and after 2 weeks he text me and said he realised he couldn't live without me and to be honest he thought he was in love with ...
A. 17 August 2007: I think we might never know why it ended like this. But, don't agonize over it. You will break your head trying to find an explanation, and you could even ask him for one, and he won't give you anything to grasp. Don't put yourself through all ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend physically abuses me
Q. I really need help....I have been with my BF for 3yrs nearly and i just dont no wot to do. At 1st we would argue but he would blame it all on me, he'd make me feel really small from the things he would say to me and i found it hard to say stuf...
A. 17 August 2007: Dearest, you cannot tolerate the hitting. That alone is enough for me to say that you should try to put as much distance between him and you as possible. This isn't going to change; it will only get worse and worse, and who knows what will happen ... (read in full...)
She is not as commited as I am
Q. Hello all. Fairly long dilemma/question, here goes…. My girlfriend and I are now approaching 4 months together. It has been both the best and most depressing time of my life. I am totally in love with her. I fell for her when she had a boyf...
A. 17 August 2007: Being cheated on is a risk you need to run if you're in a relationship. And, of course, you cannot expect anyone to say s/he will cheat on you; but, for obvious reasons, you can expect people to say they won't.
However, I don't like what you... (read in full...)
My girlfriend doesnt want me to talk to girls - EVER
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 11 months already (14 of this month, which has just passed), and I truly and deeply love her to death. 5 months into our relationship, I moved from Daly City, CA to Tracy, CA and here's where the problem ...
A. 17 August 2007: I'm fully with hlskitten. What if you asked her not to talk to boys, ever?... (read in full...)
I think I can give her mulitple orgasms, but she seems scared of it
Q. Hi, I was wondering something about when I'm going down on my girlfriend. She says I've made her orgasm by fingering, and past oral adventures. But she has said with all of them that at one point, she starts to feel tingling all over her body, ...
A. 17 August 2007: I think she is afraid of the thought of letting go.
However, if she doesn't feel like having multiple orgasms, don't try; you'd be forcing her to do something she rather would not do.... (read in full...)
I discovered my boyfriend has a profile on a gay website!!!
Q. Background: I am living with my boyfriend of 4 years. I am in my 30's he in his mid-40's. He was previously married for 14 years and has two kids. I have 2 kids from previous marriage as well. He is in the military, and last year I left my job, ...
A. 17 August 2007: I'm very sorry for you, madam. This must be very heartbreaking.
I cannot decide for you. Our role is to help, and we don't have full knowledge of what goes on, but here's my take.
Let's not judge him for being gay or bisexual. The t... (read in full...)
She's paying for dates and he's not initiating sex... what does it all mean?
Q. My friend would like me to find out if it is good sign that she has been going out with this man for a month, and she nearly always pays for him and her, or just her portion of what they do on a date? In other words he rarely pays for his share or ...
A. 17 August 2007: This is not usual. I think your friend is being used.
First, I wonder why he doesn't feel bad that she is paying all the time. Some women like to pay, some don't; but a man who never pays doesn't sound like a good man.
Then, he's obviously n... (read in full...)
Should I apologise to her for worrying too much about her not returning my messages, or should I just wait until she sends me a message?
Q. Hi everyone! Last month I met this girl in a restaurant in which we were both working (at that time) and we had a great time, she said she'd never had this much fun in her life. So, a few weeks ago, we exchanged phone numbers and expressed how we...
A. 17 August 2007: Trust me on this one: WAIT!
You don't have to apologize for being interested in her. This was the reason why you were exchanging messages and agreed to be more than friends. Why is it wrong now?
Since she had the time to tell you she is ... (read in full...)
Am I being messed about or does he like me?
Q. theres a boy who i really like, and i think i love him. well, we've been friends for a few years now, and i know him from school. i still see him quite a bit, but whenever i do see him, we end up doing sexual things. he knows i really like him,...
A. 17 August 2007: You are being messed with.
He knows you "really like him", which, to me at least, means he knows you love him; he replies he doesn't want a relationship, but then has sex with you. And then he ignores you.
You deserve a lot more than this u... (read in full...)
All of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts school.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and am almost back from a one year long distance relationship. What is bothering me is that all of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts ...
A. 16 August 2007: André, you've been asking questions for a long time, since you are away from your girlfriend. I don't think that a person whose relationship were going smooth would ask questions about it, in the tone and about the issues you discuss. So, my take ... (read in full...)
He says he has "expectations of me" that I NEED to live up to!!!
Q. My husband and I remarried five years ago after a divorce and two year seperation. I came from a very abusive background. Now, I'm a survivor and live my life much happier. I don't think I've changed much, except that I am much happier with ...
A. 16 August 2007: I see your husband doesn't complain about you about the rest of the relationship, just about the sex. So, it's obvious that sex is the problem here.
I think you used a very good word to describe what he wants: he wants you to bend to his wish... (read in full...)
I'm probably asking the most unaswerable question! Why are guys so hard to understand????
Q. Hi everyone, I'm probably asking the most unaswerable question! Why are guys so hard to understand???? I've been seeing a guy for a few months and we have a great time together. But he is moving away soon for a job opportunity. I didn't realise ...
A. 16 August 2007: It's a well known fact that women and men speak in different ways, and that's why we men find it so difficult to understand women, and women have difficulty understanding us. But I must add that a great deal of confusion sets in when a person loves ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to get over someone and make them miss you at the same time?
Q. Whats the best way to get over someone whilst making them think about you! me and my bf been split up 2 months (im so gutted) A lot of people might say go out with friends etc but thats not convenient as i work unsociable hours.. I jus...
A. 16 August 2007: I'm afraid you are not over someone if you still want that person to miss you.... (read in full...)
I want to know whether you think he has strong feelings about me or is just messing me around?
Q. Dear Agony Aunt, I am so stressed and confused I don't know what to do the problem is I've fallen in love with someone who unfortunately is my third cousin who is also 6 years older than me and lives abroad. I really love him I am so mad about him ...
A. 16 August 2007: Very hard to say. Apparently he does have an interest. Also, I don't think he caught you half-naked just by accident; maybe, but I doubt it. Maybe he sends you love poems, and then friendship poems, because he isn't sure how you would take his ... (read in full...)
I'm really confused about this guy I like... I can't read his signals.
Q. I'm really confused about this guy I like. I think he likes me, he is always trying to make me laugh, I catch him staring at me loads. If we are out in a group he always looks over at me but when we are on our own he gets nervous and seems to get ...
A. 16 August 2007: Hard to say. Maybe he does. Since you're part of the same group, isn't there anyone else who could give you a clue?... (read in full...)
All of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts school.
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and am almost back from a one year long distance relationship. What is bothering me is that all of a sudden she started to talk about the future and how things are going to change once she starts ...
A. 16 August 2007: Frank is right: she's obviously telling you she'll dump you. The worst part here is, you're expected to act as if nothing were happening. I say, don't wait for her to "officially" give you the bad news. If I were you, I wouldn't try to get her ... (read in full...)
I discovered my boyfriend has a profile on a gay website!!!
Q. Background: I am living with my boyfriend of 4 years. I am in my 30's he in his mid-40's. He was previously married for 14 years and has two kids. I have 2 kids from previous marriage as well. He is in the military, and last year I left my job, ...
A. 10 August 2007: In my opinion, he is gay but he won't admit it. It will not escalate, but in the sense that he's gay already and he will continue to do the same things he's been doing. Not that I'm being judgmental; I just think what I said, he's gay but won't ... (read in full...)
He chased me for 3 months, now he's backed off
Q. How to respond to a text saying I cant have a relationship I am damned by the devil. 3months and he chased me. I just want to know what happened...
A. 4 August 2007: From the other side of the fence, I can tell you this much: He got bored of chasing you. And now he's upset. I'm honestly not sure whether you should respond to that text message.... (read in full...)
How can I moan more when having sex with my husband without getting all embarrassed?
Q. i have a question? i am very shy to moan during sex with my husband, i wanted to get some advice to help me open up to moaning for him. i love to have sex a lot just shy to moan. please help me? Tabitha...
A. 10 June 2007: You can only overcome shyness about anything by deciding not to be shy anymore. So, in short, if you want to moan for him, do.
Now, why are you shy about moaning? Ask yourself. This is the real heart of the matter.
Why is it important for... (read in full...)
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