A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am very, very longing for help, any advice that will make my soul go through this terrible happening to me will be heartly appreciated. I was about to marry in 1 week when my fiancee turn back off. He said he can't make it now because he is now in the depression situation. What shall I do with this. I tried all my best to understand him but it is really hard to accept it. I feel so sad, I can't believe he can do this to me. Anybody could tell me how I can over come this situation please, this is now my second post' I don't know where to find my question and the people who care to give me some advice. please help....
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I just can't imagine how much this situation can hurt. It must feel like the world is crumbling down. But, dear, it isn't: the sun will shine for you tomorrow. I don't believe that your fiancé made his mind about not marrying only now; he must have been unsure about it for a long time, and, though the calling off is surely painful, it is better than marrying a man who wasn't sure about it.
Now you know who he really is. Imagine what your life could be like if you had married him! It would have been a difficult relationship and you wouldn't even get to know why. As bas as this is, it's better this way. At least you know where you stand and you're free to move on.
This isn't your fault. It isn't about anything you did, or your personal value, whatever; it's about his own insecurity. Don't blame yourself.
I cannot imagine how hard this must be, but, you need to pick up the pieces and start anew. You were going to marry a man who failed to appreciate your value; now, you have a chance to find someone who will.
Don't think of him or the marriage or anything else. Think of yourself: focus on other thing and time will help you heal.
My heart is with you.
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 Your feeling of sadness is due to someone else letting you down. If you try to think about this from a perspective of control, it may help you. You cannot control other people and what they do, you can control what you do and how you feel about it. I know it's difficult when you trust someone and they let you down. I'm sure you have experienced in the "real world" people do let you down. Now the question for you is what do you want to do? Knowing that you can only control yourself and your emotions, are you going to wallow in self pity or will you come out fighting? Take charge of your life, you should feel lucky that you won't have to put up with being married to a weak man. Go find another man worthy of you. There's millions of men in Europe, and billions in the world. Surely there's a good one for you.
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