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female
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*tarisrocks
writes:My friend wont let his gf go on the pill in case she gains weight *she a stick so she need a bit of weight* and they use condoms but only 60% of the time. He's 18 and shes 17 ive tried to explain to him that she wont become fat and if she did he should still love her.the thing is i can see them having a baby and her running off and leaving him with a baby he not going uni because of her so he half ruined his life and a kid would top it off i cant speak to the gf as she hates me (all coz i told my friend about her cheating on him) what can i say to my friend?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2007): dont say anything. youve said all you need to say and youve been loyal to your friend, but hes thrown it back in your face. if he screws up his life its his fault not yours. just keep to yourself and let him learn his lesson, even if it is a harsh one.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Research indicates that the new generation of contraceptive pill do not make you gain weight...HOWEVER getting pregnant through unprotective sex might change the body shape somewhat! Remind him of that...if she is cheating then he may have more to worry about that her waist size...STD's have a fondness for spreading around...
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female
reader, stina  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 As I have mentioned several times in previous posts - THE PILL DOES NOT MAKE YOU GAIN WEIGHT!!!Here is what I've written on another post:-----------------A *huge* misconception about the pill is that it will make you gain weight. This is not true and is not backed by any evidence. On the other hand, there have been studies done proving that the pill does not put on weight. Here is a short article: http://www.wnbc.com/health/6433552/detail.htmlAnd here is a detailed abstract from the study (you need to register to get all of the details): http://www.mrw.interscience.wiley.com/cochrane/clsysrev/articles/CD003987/frame.htmlBUT what they have found is that the pill makes women crave food more than usual. THIS is what you have to watch out for. As long as you keep eating healthy, you'll stay the same weight. I would definitly talk to your doctor about getting on the pill if this is all you were worried about.-----------------Okay - now onto the topic of your friend, the fascist boyfriend. His girlfriend has a mind of her own and if she wants to take the pill, then she is free to do so. Has he brainwashed her into doing everything he wants her to do, or has he just fed her lies about the pill? Sorry, but seeing situations like this just really annoys me. It's like we're taking a step backwards in time when the male was dominant in the relationship and the female was not an equal.This girl needs to understand that this is HER body and she can take the birth control pill if she wants to. His reasoning for wanting her to stay away from the pill is completely shallow. You said that you've tried to tell him that he would love his girlfriend even if she gained the weight, but I honestly don't think that would be the case. Right now he's more concerned with her appearance than her welbeing and her future. Is that the sign of someone who is in love with their partner? I don't think so! It sounds like he's only with this girl because he thinks she's hot. It seems to me that he's using her.Since you can't change how your friend treats women, perhaps you could at least show him the website I've linked above. Perhaps it will change his mind and will save his girlfriend from becoming pregnant.BTW - your boyfriend didn't go to Uni because of himself, not because of her. Things can always be worked out when it comes to furthering one's education. He can't say that there is absolutely no way that he could not have gone to Uni because of his girlfriend.Take care.
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reader, Danielepew  +, writes (3 August 2007):
 I'm afraid you have spoken quite a lot. Having kids at their age is not the smartest thing they can do, but, they have been warned. Let them be.
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female
reader, Midge +, writes (3 August 2007):
 Firstly, yes the pill can you put on weight, but some actually have the opposite effect too. So he cant prejudge what the pill would do to her as we are all different and our bodies will react to various pills differently too.
Secondly, dont speak to the girlfriend as your connection is with him, not her. So she will take it as you are butting in!
Lastly, if your friend needs to be told about sex, protection and the consequences, he stands a good chance of becomming a daddy before either he or his girlfriend is ready. Another unwanted child into the world!
He needs to be told that if he's gonna play with fire, he stands a very good chance of getting burnt! Using a condom only about 60% of the time? He is more stupid than I thought! He obviously knows the consequences of not using protection, he surely isnt that stupid that he doesnt know how a baby is conceived?
Pull him aside and give him a swift kick up the arse! Tell him that you are not butting into his affairs but he needs to understand what he is doing is dangerous! Very dangerous! Tell him that his girlfriend going on the pill isnt a full proof contraception either, there is only like a 90% success rate with the pill, the pill packaging will tell you that on the box or the paperwork inside. Also the condom isnt 100% proof either, so if he doesnt want to be a daddy anytime soon, he has to be a man and take extra contraception, both of them use something so that when and if one fails, the other still covers you.
There are so many unwanted kids in this world and I can understand why you want to help your friend, but be careful that he doesnt feel as though you are butting in. It could end a friendship!
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female
reader, Your_Agony_Aunt +, writes (3 August 2007):
First of all, I think people over rate the pill. As your friends' GF is only 17 she can afford to chose one of the other options which has a longer lasting effect, and less hassle than remembering everyday to take the people i.e. implants, injection, coil.And the way you present this to your friend is very important. Make sure you point out all the ADVANTAGES i.e. no periods, or lighter periods.Also ask him would he rather have a baby or peace of mind.It's in his best interest!
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