A
female
age
51-59,
*eresa40
writes: i have started dating a guy, we have been sexual active for 4 months, he can only ejaculate via masterbation and sometimes looses his erection during intercourse. is the problem me, he says not.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2007): Hun, just an added comment to your dilemma. While the male anon below, gives good advice I do disagree with the little 'tip' he gave you at the end of his comments. Your bf is the other half of this relationship and although, you are not the cause of his problem-I really think that disussing it with him should cause him no aversion. In fact, he will want to tackle this head on in order to help the relationship flourish. Don't stay quiet and not say anything. Talk to him, lovingly and tell him you want to help. A good, relationship is based on communicating maturely and lovingly with each other. Sexual problems in a relationship is one that can create division with a couple. Keep the channels of communication open and let him know you understand so both of you can tackle this together. It will build solidarity. He will be relieved knowing he can count on you for support, throughout all this. Good luck and Take care.
A
female
reader, teresa40 +, writes (3 August 2007):
teresa40 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your replies, i feel much better now and wont put any pressure on my man.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): Hi, I’m a horny 23year old and as embarrassing as it can be sometimes even us young guys loose our erections during sex or just cant climax – sometimes for what's seems to be no reason at all! Usually though (for me anyway) its because its someone new and there can be lot of pressure, I think girls tent to expect guys to be “up” “hard” and “coming” just because we’re guys. It’s not a problem but the more “concerned” the girl is about it the weirder it makes me feel. Some girls are just so easy about it, and don’t make a fuss at all which instantly relaxes me with them and it goes away – or rather comes back! Little tip – guys hate talking bout stuff like that, - (just makes it worse!) just act natural. Don’t bother him about it anymore and know that it’s definitely not you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): This is a very common misconception for women whose partners ahve erection problems. It is definitely not you. Some men have a lot of problems with erection, especially when they age. There is a whole whack of reasons, why this could be happening. It could be physical causes, it could be psychological causes. Best thing you can do is research the problem, and possibly advise him on what can be done. Here is a link from a UK site, that is amazingly informative and a very good site. Check it out:
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/impotence.htm
Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, Wildlife dude +, writes (2 August 2007):
Is he taking any kind of blood pressure medication? This sometimes affects a man's erection.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (2 August 2007):
This is not a problem with you. His penis is less sensitive than it used to be, and he needs the strong stimulation of his hand. This can improve with time, however, as he will get more and more used to the sensations a vagina gives, much more diffuse but more stimulating. Don't worry; he is telling you the honest truth.
Is he diabetic? Diabetes is a common reason for this sort of problems, and a hard to solve one.
Sometimes frequent masturbation causes this problem, too, but it goes away.
In any case, this time it's true: it's not you, it's him.
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