A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice about my boyfriends ever-decreasing sex drive. He only wants to do it at weekends, I want to do it everyday. We only end up doing it when he wants to and I find this degrading, like he's using me when he wants it. Surely it should be when we both want it? I've asked him about this and he says it hard for a man to get aroused when they're not in the mood and I can understand this but this doesn't excuse the fact that we only ever do anything when he wants to! Surely this isn't fair or normal? Help please!
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (4 August 2007):
 I'm afraid there is a little misunderstanding here.
I'm sure you're willing to keep the fire burning, and I need to recognize you're a very good person. Better than him, maybe.
I would just like to use a part of Duskyrowe's post to show you what I really meant:
"Its not just about sex, its about in the longrun whether you guys are compatible or not. If you really love this guy, and you think it is worth saving this relationship, then I think you guys can maybe come to some sort of agreement,..."
This is what I meant to emphasize you should focus on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for answering my question, thought I'd give some feedback:
To DuskyRowe, I know what you mean and I've tried all these things. These days, I'm just so scared of rejection that I can't try anything, it hurts me too much when he says no when I've put some effort in. You're right though, I've thought about our compantibility and we're not at all. Surely people with such differing sex drives can't make it work? Two people who are close but don't have sex are just friends and I think that's all we can be.
And to Danielepew, if I only wanted it on Saturdays and he wanted it all the other days, I'm pathetic enough to do it all the other days to make him happy. I guess that's the difference between us, I would be willing to get in the mood to keep the fire burning between us.
Thank you for the advice, I think I know what I have to do.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (3 August 2007):
Sometimes the best advice comes from showing you where you stand. Here is mine: What would happen if YOU wanted it only on Saturdays?
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (3 August 2007):
 It is hard for anyone to get sexually aroused, when there partner is constantly nagging them for sex. Have you really sat down and discussed with your boyfriend,and try find some compromise about what you both want from this relationship. Its not just about sex, its about in the longrun whether you guys are compatible or not. If you really love this guy, and you think it is worth saving this relationship, then I think you guys can maybe come to some sort of agreement, when you and him can have any intimacy. I believe its not about the quantity of sex but the quality and if you can balance those two things together, then I am sure things will turn out great. Remember to still court each other like you did when you first met, you know when you couldnt keep your hands off each other, set a romantic setting for your future lovemaking with candles, sexy underwear, massages even bathing together can set you in the mood. Sex doesnt have to be mechanical, but enjoyable Agree? Try these out and see what happens, you will be surprised.
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