A
female
age
36-40,
*hantelle
writes:i am really not good at keeping guys who like me. I always seem to like them way to much and scare them off i think. I try to play it cool but then end up texting them all the time, cos i really like them. there is a guy that likes me and i have been seeing him when i have been out at the weekend. I haven't text him at all, and he seems quite intrested as he asked me out for a drink the other night and i went with him. i want to tell him that i really like him, but scared if i do and don't take it slow it will scare him off and nothing will happen. whats the best way to play it.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 Hi Chantelle, I bought a book by the relationship guru Tracey Cox the other day called "Hot Relationships" in my local book store. This girl certainly knows her stuff, Im 1/2 way through it and can't seem to put the book down . Its like she and I are on the same page, I have done things like constantly text and ring guys, and you know what it shows you are needy. I don't now and the guy in question depending on what sort of guy he is chases me now and can't get enough. Sometimes they get back to you if they are not busy, cos work can stress them and the last thing they want is a girl constantly texting and ringing them. If he really likes you and you feel you wanna get close, ie telling him how you feel, I would wait to see what happens in your relationship before you tell him how you feel, it could backfire. So enjoy the lovely dates you go on with this guy and have fun be yourself, then he will see that you are worth the effort. Let me know how you got on hun ok. PS Buy the book and you may have him eating out of your hand lol.
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 And, I will add, don't feel bad about yourself. How to behave in a relationship is a learning process. Just fear not learning enough.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 The fact that you recongize this about yourself is the first step. Some women never realize they come too strong and scare men away. Now you just have to learn how to change your behavior so you don't seem so desperate. If you text him, don't text again until you get an answer. Don't just keep texting and asking if everything is alright? A sure sign of a clingy woman and men hate clingy women. Here's a book I'd recommend you read, it's called "Why Men Marry Bitches" by Sherry Argov. It'll open your eyes to a whole new way of approaching and dealing with men. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, chantelle +, writes (2 August 2007):
chantelle is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you so much for both your answers....they both make loads of sense. I think will just play hard to get...but as you say act myself ant the same time, then if he does like me, he will have to make the effort, and then i will see if he really does like or not!
thank you so much!!
xxxxxxxxxxxx
Ps i can be a bit scatty at times, cant believe u got that from my question!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2007): from a guy,You sound a bit scatty and quirky, which are good qualities in girls I think!A bit of crazyness is interesting but don’t be clingy! Whatever you do! Girl above is right with the play it cool, but at the end of the day you can only be yourself. So don’t try to “play games” we ALL hate that, guys and girls and it’s so obvious when someone is messing with you. That’s likely to just weird him out, if your all keen for him then turn cold suddenly.Just have a sense of humour about how you always seem to come on too strong and don’t worry about it. Instead of talking and texting about how much you like him use actions, mannerisms – guys are “physically intuitive” unlike girls who are just plain Physic. We understand body language better than words – yes we’re stupid!
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A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (2 August 2007):
 I think what you need to do, is do what you do but the other way round.
Don't do it too much or you'll push them away - but a guy loves a chase and a challenge, play hard to get for a while and think that you're worth being chased and I'm sure a lovely guy will come along willing to take up the challenge. I used to be like this so I know!
When you feel that you should text them say to yourself " nope. He's gonna text me and only then will I reply" or just send a message saying " hey, hope your having a good day" or something like that - something that he won't mind replying to because seeing texts like " I MISS YOU SOOO MUCH I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU XXXXXXXX * a million kisses*" will freak him out.
Play it cool girl, you can do it ;)
xxx
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