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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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He left because I wanted to keep our baby! Now I've had a missacriage, I'm scared and should I get back together with him? How?
Q. Well, here goes nothing, I was pregnant and when I told my boyfriend, he told me to get rid of it and I said no, that I wanted to keep it, then we had a massive argument and in the end, it resulted with us breaking up and him leaving (we used to ...
A. 12 January 2008: I'm glad that you feel I helped you. Take much care and don't hesitate to contact us again if you need more support.... (read in full...)
I treat her like a princess but she keeps breaking my heart. What can I do?
Q. Hey Cupids, Really need your help right now. To cut a long and complicated story short. Met a girl at uni, had a relationship, she broke up with me over the summer. She returned a few months later wanting a casual thing. I could'nt do that, but we...
A. 23 October 2007: JustaGuy, you will earn yourself a lot of her respect if you can stand your ground even if you love her that much. The value of not tolerating any abuse from her, not letting her reel you in, is exactly in overcoming your wish to talk to her. This ... (read in full...)
I treat her like a princess but she keeps breaking my heart. What can I do?
Q. Hey Cupids, Really need your help right now. To cut a long and complicated story short. Met a girl at uni, had a relationship, she broke up with me over the summer. She returned a few months later wanting a casual thing. I could'nt do that, but we...
A. 23 October 2007: I'm with good Eyeswideopen. This girl knows she has you, and she will play with you for as long as you let her. Surprise her this time: don't take her back and tell her she wasted her chances. That is, if she comes your way.
If you want to ... (read in full...)
Me? a Poser?
Q. If you are in a long term relationship, is going into chat rooms posing as a single person classed as cheating? ...
A. 23 October 2007: YES.... (read in full...)
She's messing with my heart
Q. Hey, Me and my girlfriend had to have a little 1 week break from eachother while she went on holiday to Turkey for a week with her family... Fair enough, we said our goodbyes, said we love eachother etc... I missed her, but she said she'd be ba...
A. 23 October 2007: My advice is that you give her all the space she needs. It is always wrong to be pushy in relationships. What she says about "hiding from you for a while" means that she doesn't wish to see you for an intedeterminate period. Let her have her way. ... (read in full...)
He left because I wanted to keep our baby! Now I've had a missacriage, I'm scared and should I get back together with him? How?
Q. Well, here goes nothing, I was pregnant and when I told my boyfriend, he told me to get rid of it and I said no, that I wanted to keep it, then we had a massive argument and in the end, it resulted with us breaking up and him leaving (we used to ...
A. 22 October 2007: I'm sorry about the baby.
Dear, I will be very direct and perhaps harsh. I don't think he would provide the kind of support you need. He ran away the minute he saw trouble. He didn't have any objections to having sex with you, but he did obje... (read in full...)
My wife is cheating and acting like a nymphomaniac with a neighbour. Should I tell his wife?
Q. About a month ago I found out my wife of 11 yrs (we dated 10 yrs before that so thats 21 yrs together) has been cheating on me for the last 3 yrs. I also found out she was text messaging a neighbor and his friend alot and wanting to have sex with ...
A. 22 October 2007: I'm sorry, but I don't think your wife would ever stop cheating. This is not an accident, a moment of thoughtlessness, an impulse; this is three years of cheating, with more than one person. It is very much obvious that she knew what she was ... (read in full...)
Is there hope for us?
Q. Hi all. Could really use a bit of advice from anyone who may be able to help. My ex and I recently split after 2 1/2 years together. Everything has been amicable and we are both still good friends. The only problem is that I want to be more than ...
A. 22 October 2007: You do want to try again, but the question is whether she wants to. She is giving mixed signals: says she wouldn't want through all the problems again, but is still around. Maybe she is afraid that the same old mistakes would be repeated.
If I ... (read in full...)
How do I confront her about her low sex drive? If you want to have sex, wouldn't you find a way, regardless of how tired and stressed you were?? Also she doesn't seem to appreciate me: I cook, clean, pay bills...
Q. So I've been with my fiancee a total of 10 months now. We got engaged about 1 month ago. Things with her are great, except for our sex life. To give you some background, I'm 31, she's 25. She's had quite a "colorful" past, and many lovers (som...
A. 22 October 2007: I wish you the very best.... (read in full...)
Will he ever come looking for me?
Q. Hi when i was 15 i started going out with this boy we were madly in love for about two years in the last 6 months it became very stormy as he had a wandering eye. Any way we broke up and both moved on he has been with his girlfriend about 3 years ...
A. 22 October 2007: I don't think your ex will ever return to you. First, it doesn't sound like he loves you anymore. This is the major obstacle. But, he is enganged, so are you, and you have a child. I'm afraid of using the word "impossible", but I would say it is ... (read in full...)
What does she mean by this?
Q. "sorry just have alot on my mind.. haven't really wanted to talk to anyone lately i guess. tryin to clear my head and concentrate on my test also" "no i don't want you out of my life, i guess i just need a lil space right now" and the night b...
A. 22 October 2007: Now that I have read your update, I can tell you but to move on. Don't waste your time, and don't bang your head against a wall. Spare yourself the heartbreak. It is absolutely clear that she won't be coming your way. And it's so, so good that ... (read in full...)
What does she mean by this?
Q. "sorry just have alot on my mind.. haven't really wanted to talk to anyone lately i guess. tryin to clear my head and concentrate on my test also" "no i don't want you out of my life, i guess i just need a lil space right now" and the night b...
A. 22 October 2007: Let's see:
A) You asked her why she hasn't talked to you the way she used to. She said the reason is she hasn't talked to anyone (which I wouldn't take to mean "anyone" verbatim) and she is concentrating on her test (good ol' "I'm busy"). ... (read in full...)
Should I give him an untimatum?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship since 5 years. He is American and I am Canadian. The first 2 years we spent lots of weekends together. We love each other and we fit perfectly well together. We spoke about getting married early in our ...
A. 22 October 2007: Dream Master does make a point. The sort of contact you have with him is next to nil these days. I understand this has to do with his being in the military, but, the fact remains that you barely see him.
I noticed he didn't answer the question... (read in full...)
Can you give me an opinion to this situation?
Q. So ive been with my g/f for 8 months and everything was incredible til about 2 wks ago, she got very depressed. Were both 25. We never actually planned on being in a relationship, it started as just a friend w/ benefit type of situation. When we ...
A. 22 October 2007: In this sort of situation, you just have to wait and see. Your prospects don't look bad. It's a good sign that she is doing the calling. I would suggest that you continue waiting for her calls, as she was the one who felt pressured and wanted to ... (read in full...)
Did this man give me herpes? What can I do about it?
Q. hi. i have an embarassing question. i have contracted herpes from a complete stranger. my mother is asking whats on my face and i keep telling her its a cold sore. this man randomly came up to me in the subway and statred kissing me, then he ran....
A. 22 October 2007: As for any medical condition, you should ask a doctor.... (read in full...)
How long will it take for this problem to fix itsself?
Q. I am a fifteen year old boy, my foreskin doesn't come back, I believe this is called phimosis. I don't know what to do, I dont want to tell my parents, it isnt a problem, i just feel uncomfortable with it. What can I do, and how long will it tak...
A. 22 October 2007: That is indeed phimosis. It can be corrected very easily, and you should not feel ashamed to tell your parents about it. They won't mind your telling them. By the way, it doesn't fix by itself.... (read in full...)
Girls, would you find it insulting for a boy to ask you out by text?
Q. this is a question for girls, would you find it insulting if a boy was to ask you out, say to go to the cinema using a text message? and would you be more likely to reject them?...
A. 21 October 2007: I'm not a girl, but I would recommend that you don't ask anyone out using a text message. You should always say everything important face to face.
On the other hand, if you've been seeing a girl for long, and you two are already used to arran... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to feel uncomfortable when giving an ex relationship advice?
Q. I was in a relationship recently with a girl, but we split up. We're still friends now, and we still care a lot for each other, so we talk about all sorts. She's moving on and has starting dating someone, and she sometimes asks my advice. In a way ...
A. 21 October 2007: Waterloo_Sunset so rightly said that you didn't have to give her advice as to her love life. She should have known it is not right to ask YOU, of all people, for advice in this area. Now that I see your update, I am all the more convinced that ... (read in full...)
I love her, but I'm haunted by this memory, what should I do?
Q. Well I'm a male and my issue is pretty bad I've been with this girl for a year and she's pregnant with my baby the problem is that a year before I got together with this girl she met a person off the internet [my space] now the first day she met him ...
A. 21 October 2007: I'm sure you find it difficult to deal with the fact that she slept with that friend of yours and everybody knows. Maybe you feel like you'll be everybody's fool. But, the good you saw in her is there to stay, and this is what you should focus on. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay?
Q. Ive been together with a guy for a month now,its long distance about 3hours away on a plane,we met when i was on a vacation and we shared intense chemistry. HOwever he said he doesnt see that this relationship might work and he is not ready for a ...
A. 21 October 2007: If he doesn't think the relationship can work, and he has issues with his former girlfriend, I wouldn't recommend that you keep trying with him. Long-distance relationships require a lot of commitment, and you need to be sure that relationship is ... (read in full...)
Extremely happy with my bf, but I still enjoy other male attention. Why?
Q. hiya, i dont know whats going on with me. i am extremely happy with my boyfriend of 7 months, but i still enjoy other male attention. i really feel my bf is the one, but i enjoy others giving me comments e.g. on my myspace site, or previous ...
A. 21 October 2007: It's fine to enjoy the attention from other men, but it would not be right to act on it.... (read in full...)
Can men have an orgasm and not ejaculate?
Q. This is something ive always wondered. I know when men cum they ejaculate but can they cum as in have an orgasm and not ejaculate and can they have orgasm after they have ejaculated? Theres no particular reason i'm asking it just soemthing i've ...
A. 21 October 2007: It is possible for a male to have an orgasm without ejaculation. This happens when someone whose gonads are not producing semen yet. I don't think it is possible to orgasm without ejaculation once semen is produced.
Also, if a man has many org... (read in full...)
I want to "lose" it
Q. I am 18, a sophomore in college and STILL a damn virgin. All my friends have lost their virginity, this is effing ridiculous. I am wanting to just go out and find some random guy......
A. 21 October 2007: Friend Tom is really your friend. Listen to him.... (read in full...)
How does a person reclaim her dignity in a situation like this? He says I'm not mature enough to be friends with him after the break up...
Q. Hope someone can help. My boyfriend and I split about three months ago. The reason was that he was seeing someone else on and off. I could not handle it. I had wanted to meet to clear the air but he did not want to. That mean't that much of the ...
A. 21 October 2007: You're welcome. Remember: Walk with your head up.... (read in full...)
How does a person reclaim her dignity in a situation like this? He says I'm not mature enough to be friends with him after the break up...
Q. Hope someone can help. My boyfriend and I split about three months ago. The reason was that he was seeing someone else on and off. I could not handle it. I had wanted to meet to clear the air but he did not want to. That mean't that much of the ...
A. 20 October 2007: Another OOOOps. Don't be friends with the bastard. He does not respect you.... (read in full...)
How does a person reclaim her dignity in a situation like this? He says I'm not mature enough to be friends with him after the break up...
Q. Hope someone can help. My boyfriend and I split about three months ago. The reason was that he was seeing someone else on and off. I could not handle it. I had wanted to meet to clear the air but he did not want to. That mean't that much of the ...
A. 20 October 2007: Ooops, I forgot: you're not immature. He says this because he wants to bully you. He knows you're in pain, and he adds insult to injury. Don't take that crap from him.... (read in full...)
How does a person reclaim her dignity in a situation like this? He says I'm not mature enough to be friends with him after the break up...
Q. Hope someone can help. My boyfriend and I split about three months ago. The reason was that he was seeing someone else on and off. I could not handle it. I had wanted to meet to clear the air but he did not want to. That mean't that much of the ...
A. 20 October 2007: I think your dignity was safeguarded by the fact that you didn´t put up with his seeing another girl. You stood your ground, and I commend you on this.
I also find it very cowardly of his not to break up with you face to face. He was the one ... (read in full...)
Cheated on and lied to. I feel I might never have forgiven him and don't feel womanly enough for him. Confused!
Q. I have been married for a little over 3 years. We have been together since highschool, we were each others first in everything. I love him and think the world of him. about 5 years ago he cheated on...when he was really drunk and hanging out with ...
A. 20 October 2007: His having been drunk at the time is no excuse at all. He cheated, period. And he sure regrets it, but he did it. He shouldn't have done it. I suppose he did this because he was curious what it was like to be with other women, but this is ... (read in full...)
Since she cheated, I feel I've been too clingy in fear of something bad happening again. How can I curb this issue?
Q. Hi there I'm a male, 25. I have been with my girlfriend (she is 24) for about 10 months or so. Several months earlier, she had cheated on me (with her ex) and it really hit me like a truck. I think I was feeling a wave of depression for a...
A. 20 October 2007: You are insecure about what she is up to. Your clinginess comes from a wish to control what she is doing. Deep down, you don't trust she wouldn't cheat again.
Which is a good question. Why did she cheat with the previous boyfriend? It seems li... (read in full...)
He can't have a meaningful discussion without disagreeing with me and then breaking off. What do you think of this situation?
Q. my fiance has broken off with me off and on more than 10times this year, and im emotionally stressed out. on top of this, he continues to threaten especially if i comment on something he doent like. once, i asked him if he is having some inte...
A. 20 October 2007: I see you have to agree with anything your boyfriend says; otherwise, he breaks up with you. But, he keeps coming back. I wouldn't believe he seriously wants to break up with you, as his threats really mean nothing, but, as Its-X points out, ... (read in full...)
I feel used and can't give away my virginity again.
Q. I have been with my fiance for going on 7 years. We just had our first baby 4 months ago. from the beginning of our relationship he has always told me that I was the only person he has ever slept with. When I first started talking to him 7 years ...
A. 20 October 2007: He lied, all right, and he lied in a sensitive issue. I understand your anger. However, I can imagine that he lied because he very much liked you and knew that you wouldn't be with him if he said otherwise.
Maybe the seven years you have spe... (read in full...)
Is cum and sperm the same thing?
Q. what does itmean when my boyfriend says "can i cum in your fanny" does it mean can he jus have an orgasm without a condom on? is it the same as spunk? is it al the same stuff? can cum get me pregnant if it goes in me or is it just sperm that gets ...
A. 20 October 2007: "Cum", "spunk" and semen are the same thing: semen. He is asking whether he can ejaculate inside of you. I think it would be very wrong to let him do it. You are too young to become pregnant. I think you should also wait a little to have sex, ... (read in full...)
I'm debating on whether to remain friends with him or not.
Q. I met this guy about a year ago. Just a usual hi and by thing. He would come over to my place of employment every so often because he's a friend of one of my employees. Then I met this young lady who just recently graduated from college and...
A. 20 October 2007: I don't think it's right or convenient to entertain thoughts about a married person. You have eyes and the attraction might be there, but you know it's not correct.
On the other hand, you cut him off somewhat bluntly. I don't think you have a c... (read in full...)
Does he have feelings and care for me?
Q. The other day i went to see a guy i love on his birthday. We spent the afternoon together and when we were sitting in his room he was staring at me so intensely for ages. He finds it very difficult to show emotion and when we were saying bye he ...
A. 20 October 2007: It seems he does have feelings for you. If you like him too, go for him.... (read in full...)
Is is ok that my guy watches porn? It makes me unconfortable.
Q. I've been dating this guy for a long time now and we're thinking about getting married one day(I only mention this because I don't want it to seem like just some little relationship). Well, I know for a fact that he still watches porn. Something i ...
A. 20 October 2007: We find a post like yours only every so often. So many women complain that their men watch porn, and they all feel just like you.
His watching porn doesn't have anything at all to do with you. If he is any serious, I don't believe he thinks y... (read in full...)
Once in a while he says he wants to sleep with me. Does he really want me?
Q. This is one long story. Ok here goes. He knew I fancied him for a long time but one of his good friends liked me and I was close to him, so he kept away. Then in May/June and July my crush and I got v.close. People spoke about us and all. We neevr ...
A. 20 October 2007: I'm with Peoriaman and dearkelja. Be careful.... (read in full...)
What exactly does "taking a break mean"?
Q. What exactly does "taking a break mean"? She still calls me and talks to me and wants to see me and says she loves me. Very confused. Please help....
A. 20 October 2007: Taking a break also means that, after sorting out what she is feeling, she may decide the break will be permanent. Sorry, I don't think it is intended to protect the person being told about the break, but to protect the person who asks for it.... (read in full...)
Is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?
Q. is it ok for your boyfriend to be smaller than you?...
A. 19 October 2007: Yes. Don't worry about heights. Tall women are great.... (read in full...)
How do I get my g/f to go back to having threesomes?
Q. I found out that about a year before my girlfriend and I became a couple she had several threesomes with her previous boyfriend and other girls. She also was involved in orgies. She became "gun shy" of that scene after her boyfriend left her for ...
A. 19 October 2007: If she doesn't want the threesome, don't push it. Maybe she didn't like it.
If she honestly consents to it, then it's allright. But, if she will do it because you want to, you'll be selfish. The two parties need to get pleasure in sex.... (read in full...)
How do I confront her about her low sex drive? If you want to have sex, wouldn't you find a way, regardless of how tired and stressed you were?? Also she doesn't seem to appreciate me: I cook, clean, pay bills...
Q. So I've been with my fiancee a total of 10 months now. We got engaged about 1 month ago. Things with her are great, except for our sex life. To give you some background, I'm 31, she's 25. She's had quite a "colorful" past, and many lovers (som...
A. 19 October 2007: I have heard many stories about women's sex drive diminishing at times, and then regaining strength, but, if I were you, I would also like to know what is behind her low sex drive. What if this is not a normal variation, but the sign of a major ... (read in full...)
How do I have him back without feeling stupid if he refuses the reconciliation?
Q. i recently split with my boyfriend over some thin stupid really but things were said and now i want him back i dont no how to do this without lookin stupid if he knocks me back...
A. 19 October 2007: If you want him back, you need to tell him, and then run the risk of being rejected. Sorry, there is no other way. If you don't want to do this in person, perhaps you can send him a letter, or e-mail, or a text message, whatever. But, if he ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get through this?
Q. I've recently gotten in engaged to my fiance' about 2 months ago. We've known each other for about 2 years and lived together for nearly a year. We had a plan to come to the US, (i'm a us citizen) and start a life here. So I've given up my job and ...
A. 19 October 2007: I understand your pain. However, I don't think that jumping onto a plane would really make any difference. She is slipping through your fingers, and you want to know what you could do to prevent this from happening. What needs to happen is that ... (read in full...)
Is this love, or is this friends with benefits?
Q. I was separated and became involved with someone who was a friend. She spent alot of time with me (she was going thru the same thing) and was very affectionate. It seemed like we had something very good happening to both of us and others around us ...
A. 19 October 2007: It feels really awful to find out that someone does not want the same from a relationship as we do. In this case, she offers sex, company, friendship, company, but she doesn't offer love and commitment. That means she is free to go away at any ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get through this?
Q. I've recently gotten in engaged to my fiance' about 2 months ago. We've known each other for about 2 years and lived together for nearly a year. We had a plan to come to the US, (i'm a us citizen) and start a life here. So I've given up my job and ...
A. 19 October 2007: My sympathies to you. Your situation is very painful. I met a couple who were also trying to get a visa for her, and I know that can be a long and difficult process. I am sure you do love her and care for her a lot.
For her, travelling to the U... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to feel uncomfortable when giving an ex relationship advice?
Q. I was in a relationship recently with a girl, but we split up. We're still friends now, and we still care a lot for each other, so we talk about all sorts. She's moving on and has starting dating someone, and she sometimes asks my advice. In a way ...
A. 18 October 2007: Since giving her advice makes you feel uncomfortable, not giving that advice is the right thing to do. It seems your feelings for her have not yet disappeared in full, and you may end up giving her biased advice. In other spheres of life this ... (read in full...)
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