A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:my fiance has broken off with me off and on more than 10times this year, and im emotionally stressed out. on top of this, he continues to threaten especially if i comment on something he doent like.once, i asked him if he is having some internet affair cause he would work 11-14hrs at work plus has gone over 550workhrs overtime this year alone. this led me to suspect something was up since he was anxious to get into work and be staying later at work. if he was 5mins later out the door, it would be disaster the whole day. he said i was wrong, and because of it he broke off with me and said i had very bad behaviour and needed to fix that. so we got back together, he appologized just like i did and wanted to work out. by that time i was feeling awful for what i said, and was walking on pins and needles to make things better. after that, we had many conflicts about minor things (nothing cheated related) and cause he didnt like what i had to say, while he was given the time to be heard he broke off and on many times. it's like if i comment on something the opposite or just have a diff opinion than him(in the past he adored this) now he gets aggressive towards it. plus continues to threaten to have us off.ive felt empty, hurt, played with feelings with how he is like off and on. and so i spoke to him many times, but seems like he doesnt understand that i was hurt by his actions, and that he is stressing me out. there i am to be a perfect fiance with no hurt feelings, while he smiles everyday and tells ppl how wonderful i am while at home it is the opposite of what i hear when there is a conflict or misunderstanding. what do u think of my situation?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 I see you have to agree with anything your boyfriend says; otherwise, he breaks up with you. But, he keeps coming back. I wouldn't believe he seriously wants to break up with you, as his threats really mean nothing, but, as Its-X points out, this is an unhealthy relationship.
You know better than any of us because you're involved with him. But, if I were you, I would leave him. I wouldn't stand hearing threats all the time.
And, his behavior IS suspicious. Maybe it's not an affair, but his avoiding the subject makes it difficult to believe he has nothing to hide.
You deserve a lot better than him.
A
male
reader, blazee  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 heya,
um it sounds like.. this guy is very overpowering.. is he?
if you feel safe in the relationship then ok.. but if you feel a litte bit worried, weather that he is doing anything to you. or even if you feel that your words arent being heard. i would try to brake it off for good, im sure its obvious to everyone who will comment on this that if someone brakes up with you over ten times, he is not dedicated to you fully, and you have every reason to be worried about his actions. braking up with you so many times, it points to the fact that he is not worried about what is going to happen, because he thinks youll always be there for him when he gets back. dont do that, take a stand.
first step was coming on here and stating your point, most people wont even do that=]
go with that, but at the end of the day understand none of us are you and none of us know exactly what is going on, because we are not living your life, not experiencing the events you are.
the final decision has to be from you, not from what people you have never met before think.
good luck with everything, feel free to write back xx
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A
female
reader, Its_X_  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 I don't think this is a healthy relationship and you need to get out of it. No one should ever threaten to break off an engagement because they don't like what you say. This aggression is not good, and if he's verbally aggressive it can later escalate into physical aggression. How you are feeling shouldn't be happening. When you're engaged you should only be stressed because of the wedding. No man should ever make you feel like this. Drop him like you can. You can get out of this. Its never too late and many people end engagements so don't feel alone or bad. Good luck.
Love
X
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