A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hope someone can help. My boyfriend and I split about three months ago. The reason was that he was seeing someone else on and off. I could not handle it. I had wanted to meet to clear the air but he did not want to. That mean't that much of the ending was done on email. We had broken up another time and he was a gentleman about it and we mean't face to face. I have not wanted to see him but ran into him at a function a couple of weeks ago. He seemed to be flirting with my friend and she told me he asked for her number. She mentioned that she knew his girlfriend and he withdrew the offer of a date. When I saw him he talked on and on about this girlfriend and I escaped. I made the insensitive error of mentioning his propostioning my friend on email and he said he was glad he had made the decision to finish with me and that two mature people should have been able to be friends...implying I am not mature. I had a hand in the fact that this has been a bad breakup but never thought it would come to this. I just want to hide away. I am hoping to never see or talk to him again but want back my dignity. How does a person reclaim her dignity in a situation like this?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 You're welcome. Remember: Walk with your head up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to the many of you who took the time to reply. You have empowered me...thank you :)
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 If it barks like a dog, guess what, he's a DOG. It seems like you still have feelings for him. Don't push the issue of becoming friends.
What dignity because you haven't lost any of it. You, girlie, just had to do what's right. Who wants to be with someone who have been dating someone else on the side off and on at the same time in being in a relationship with someone else?
You'll meet someone who best fits you.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (20 October 2007):
 As far as it goes honey your dignity is still intact. Where his is far gone. Walk away from the conflict with a good heart and best wishes. Tommorrow is another day. May God bless you and "Vengence is Mine sayeth the Lord"
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 Ignore him completely. Its the only way really. If you contact him or keep trying to push the friends thing he'll think you still have feelings for him and still want him but hes moving on which does the exact opposite of give you your dignity back.
dont care too much about what he thinks. i know its hard when you feel like you have been stripped of your dignity and theres not a lot you can do but you'll move passed it and one day realise that who the hell cares what this lying, cheating playing little boy thinks of you? he's the one who should be worrying what YOU think of him and how he can get HIS dignity back.
brooke
xx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 October 2007):
Another OOOOps. Don't be friends with the bastard. He does not respect you.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 October 2007):
Ooops, I forgot: you're not immature. He says this because he wants to bully you. He knows you're in pain, and he adds insult to injury. Don't take that crap from him.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (20 October 2007):
I think your dignity was safeguarded by the fact that you didn´t put up with his seeing another girl. You stood your ground, and I commend you on this.
I also find it very cowardly of his not to break up with you face to face. He was the one at fault, as he was the cheater, but he refused to acknowledge his responsibility.
As to his flirting with your friend, my guess is that he did it because he wanted you to know he was flirting around. Don't give him that pleasure again. If he flirts, let him flirt, no matter who he flirts with. You are not his girlfriend anymore and you have no basis to be upset by it. I know this is because you still have feelings about the relationship, or maybe about him, but, anyways, you can't say anything about it.
Don't feel like you have to hide from him. Your dignity is safe. Walk head up, and if you should happen to come across him again, don't let him bully you. Stand your ground.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (20 October 2007):
 I think the only way to reclaim your dignity is to stay out of his way for a while. The wound of your break up is still too raw for him to see you as a person who deserves to have any opinions on the way he lives his life. This means you two aren't ready to be friends yet. Hopefully you will get to that stage but god knows it's hard when you still have feelings for someone who is moving on, especially when they're moving on with your friends! Send him an email apologising for interfering and tell him you're going to stay out of his way for a while, not because you're not mature enough to be friends but because you're sensible enough to realise that you need a little distance between you before you'll be ready to be friends. Then stick to it and give him his space. It's hard to be friends after a break up. The only way to achieve it is to give each other as much space as possible for as long as it takes. Good luck chick.
CD
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