A
male
age
36-40,
*teve21as
writes: I found out that about a year before my girlfriend and I became a couple she had several threesomes with her previous boyfriend and other girls. She also was involved in orgies. She became "gun shy" of that scene after her boyfriend left her for one of the girls they had been with. After she left him, she became strictly lesbian until she met me. I knew she was a lesbian but until here recently, she lied to me about having threesomes. I've always fantasized about that but I didn't want to push the issue. Although I did hint about it. After being together three months, for my birthday she was going to set it up with one of her old bi-friends. For some reason or another, it never happened and she hasn't persued it since. It's been a year and a month since then and we have a 4 month old baby together. I really feel left out and I just need to know if I should keep the dream alive or just wake up and live without. I also need advice on how to get her motivated to do this because I know she still has an interest in women.
View related questions:
lesbian, shy, threesome Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, steve21as +, writes (30 May 2008):
steve21as is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy fiance still has interest in women. About a month ago she asked if she could have a girlfriend. The girl in question was a girl I didn't approve of due to her previous history and my knowledge of her. There was a chance of a threesome but I passed it up because I just couldn't see myself lowering myself to having sex with this girl I despized. I strongly believe this girl's intensions are just to be with my fiance because she's a player and almost strictly gay. Most of the time she dresses like a guy which makes me beleive she will only be competition and not a partner. What should I do?
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (30 October 2007):
 You are most welcome hon. Experiment if you must but please remember the vows you will soon take. You can have romance and love without involving a third person. That is why marraige vows say "Forsaken all others" and why you both say "I do" instead of the congregation. The vows are meant to be kept between the two of you.
May God give you both the love and joy you deserve with one another. God bless.
...............................
A
male
reader, steve21as +, writes (30 October 2007):
steve21as is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOn 10/27, I asked her to marry me! She should have no reason to believe I would leave her. I have no intent to hurt the love of my life. I'm just searching for new sexual experences. Thanks to everyone who has commented. I'm so excited that people have taken interest in my delema. Thanks again for taking your time to help me.
...............................
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (21 October 2007):
Just to let you know. Many people who engage in this type of activity often wind up loosing their spouses to the other part of the 3_some. When you consider this, is it worth loosing the person you LOVE just for the moments of pleasure you can have in a 3 ring Circus? I hope you can figure it all out and save what you already have. What God intended. Blessings.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): No winning with this one.
Even though her reasons for this are sensible and deserve to be respected if she wants to keep it this way, the fact is that your lover is being less sexually-open with you than she's been with others in her past and that has to hurt.
Emotions aren't logical. They don't all obey a set of rules to make relationships work out for the best. Good luck with this.
...............................
A
female
reader, Yogichickk +, writes (19 October 2007):
 It has to come from her not from you. She has unresolved issues, not you. Let it go.
"In marriage, your interests and your spouses interests should be considered simultaneously. One of you should not suffer for the benefit of the other, even willingly, because when either of you suffer, one is gaining at the other's expense. If you both care about each other, you will not let the other suffer so that you can have what you want. When you are willing to let the other sacrifice for you, you are momentarily lapsing into a state of selfishness that must somehow be corrected before damage is done. The Policy of Joint Agreement provides that correction.
The Policy of Joint Agreement: Never do anything without an enthusiastic agreement between you and your spouse."
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): I understand her concerns... she is afraid you will do what her other boyfriend did- find someone better during one of the threesomes. She probably wants to know that you won't do that- you need to be reassuring if you want her to consider it. Make sure she knows that she is the most beautiful, sexiest woman in the world to you, and that you want to have a threesome so you can watch HER with another woman, NOT so that YOU can have sex with the other woman or so that you can watch the other woman. Tell her that you won't even touch the other girl, you'll just watch them. She might fear that you are bored with her and wanting to "cheat" on her with another girl, and that this is the best way for you to do it (as you would have her permission).
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 If she doesn't want the threesome, don't push it. Maybe she didn't like it.
If she honestly consents to it, then it's allright. But, if she will do it because you want to, you'll be selfish. The two parties need to get pleasure in sex.
...............................
|
