A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I was in a relationship recently with a girl, but we split up. We're still friends now, and we still care a lot for each other, so we talk about all sorts. She's moving on and has starting dating someone, and she sometimes asks my advice. In a way i'm glad that we're still close but on the other, I find it very difficult to discuss it with her, and I know on one occasion that negative thoughts I've had (which may be just be jealousy) have made her feel the same wayis it selfish of me to point out that it's a subject I don't really want to talk about because I'm uncomfortable with it and can't give unbiased advice? I'm worried that if I affect the way she's thinking and something goes wrong with her relationship that she'll blame me for it and that will be the end of a good friendship.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Waterloo_Sunset so rightly said that you didn't have to give her advice as to her love life. She should have known it is not right to ask YOU, of all people, for advice in this area. Now that I see your update, I am all the more convinced that Waterloo had it right. Your ex was selfish in saying she wouldn't be asking you for advice "because you're no help". As if you had to.
Waterloo was also right in saying that your new girlfriend wouldn't like you to give advice to your ex. Listen to her.
Move on, man. Your ex is abusing your kindness.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (21 October 2007):
 Sometimes you say it best when you say nothing at all. Good luck and God is watching over you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI couldn't bring myself to tell her anything because I'm scared we'll fall out over it. However, earlier today she was texting saying she'd been out with her new man and there was a moment where he said he loved her and she didn't know what to say. I told her that I didn't either and got a response saying she should stop talking to me about it cos I'm no help, so maybe she knows that I can't give her what she needs and that she needs to ask other people's opinions instead. Thanks for all yoru answers though, at least I don't fee like I'm being selfish anymore =]
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (19 October 2007):
Let her know that you don't feel comfortable trying to advise her on a new relationship. You don't have to explain what you feel for her. Just let her know you are her friend and that you hope she is happy in whatever she chooses. You wish her the best. Remember this. YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL WHAT YOU FEEL. I hope it works out for you and God bless you.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (18 October 2007):
She shouldn't be asking you for advice on her new lovelife. No good will come of this triangle.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Why do you feel the need to give her advice? She is an ex! If it makes you feel uncomfortable then tell her you dont want to do it anymore. That way you can move on. If you meet someone else then how would your new gf feel about your spending time giving advice to your ex? Not nice. I would move her on and out of your life.
take care
xxx
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Dear anon
I think maybe it is time your friendship ended, the more you help and advise your ex then the harder for you to move on, it is putting a great strain and burden onto you, especially as you still have romantic feelings for her, but she wont show you the same, that why she is your ex, i think it is time you find some-one else to give you the love comfort that you deserve.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 October 2007):
Since giving her advice makes you feel uncomfortable, not giving that advice is the right thing to do. It seems your feelings for her have not yet disappeared in full, and you may end up giving her biased advice. In other spheres of life this would be called "conflict of interest". My advice: don't give her advice.
On the other hand, in my humble opinion, having feelings for her, even though you broke up, and reacting to those feelings just can't considered being selfish.
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