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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Do you think she wants to take a break?
Q. Hello, I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 4 or 5 years now. She is the sweetest girl and is family oriented and a genuinely good person. We went on trips across the country, hung out every day over summers -- basically did ev...
A. 29 November 2007: Jim, there's a chance you didn't give us the whole picture, and I honestly hope so. It would be best if you could come out of the hell you're going through. Honestly, I do hope the facts of life prove me wrong on this one. I know how happy you ... (read in full...)
?She needs space what do I do?
Q. Hi there, my girlfriend for 5 months now needs space but she says she loves me. It's been about a week now and she texts me I do miss you. Why is that she told me that she needed to be single for a while and be on here own and she can't be my ...
A. 28 November 2007: I'm with Frank B. Kermit in yet another one.... (read in full...)
How long will a guy wait for sex??
Q. So heres just a general question to see what everyones point of view is. How long is a unreasonable amount of time to expect a guy to wait for sex? What I mean is, say a girl isnt ready to have sex with her bf (whether she be a virgin or not) but...
A. 28 November 2007: I believe that everyone has part of the truth. I have it easier than you guys because I came last and can reflect on what you said. Dr. Pete is right: it's best if the two people have similar experiences and expectations. But, this is not the ... (read in full...)
He says I should learn to enjoy touching and cuddling and all the sex is createing too much pressure.
Q. I am 42, just divorced and met this man 20 years older than me. We start to have sex two or three time a day when we are together. I really enjoyed it because my marriage is lack of sex. He said I am wanting too much sex and it is a sign of ...
A. 28 November 2007: As you point out, the core of the problem here is that he can't keep up with your needs. But, instead of just saying so, he sort of tries to make you feel you're unreasonable. This is wrong.
However, if you want to be with him, you will need to ... (read in full...)
Hopelessly promiscuous!
Q. I have a huge problem in relationships. I don't know what to do. When I get in a relationship I automatically start thinking about other girls and who I would cheat on her with. I cant even fantasize about any of my g/f's it makes me sick I have ...
A. 28 November 2007: I'm with rcn. Check why you're like this, and then, by all means, fix it. Cheating isn't right.... (read in full...)
His wife knows about his affair with me, in fact me and his wife go on trips together... is this relationship healthy?
Q. Dear cupid, I am a 23 year old woman that needs help. My boyfriend is 44 and I love him very much. The only problem is that he is married and has been for about 15 years. I know now that he plans not to leave his wife and his wife and I both kno...
A. 28 November 2007: Dear poster, this relationship is unhealthy for all three of you.
Even if his wife knows and puts up with it, this is called cheating. You are harming a person who has done you no wrong. Perhaps you'd see it more easily if you put yourself... (read in full...)
He complains that I'm "too wet" when we make love!
Q. I've just divorced my husband and met this man 18 years older than me. I am 45. This man is very good in bed. I've got turn on without minutes and gets very wet. He complains he couldnt feel anything when I am wet. He talks like its my fault ...
A. 28 November 2007: Again, I'm with Collaroy. You got it wrong this time, Samutsen.... (read in full...)
Do you think she wants to take a break?
Q. Hello, I have been going out with my girlfriend for about 4 or 5 years now. She is the sweetest girl and is family oriented and a genuinely good person. We went on trips across the country, hung out every day over summers -- basically did ev...
A. 27 November 2007: Rcn noticed an important point: if the fighting is the problem, why won't she discuss the root of it? How can your staying away help to solve the problem? Doesn't she see that the problem would come back when the break is over? This is nonsense ... (read in full...)
We have been intimate for 4 yrs yet he is awful to me in public and denies we have a relation. Why?
Q. I have been sleepin with this boy for 4 years but hes awful to me infront of people and denies sleeping with me?...
A. 27 November 2007: I'm with Samutsen and Tom Wilkinson. Leave the man!... (read in full...)
He complains that I'm "too wet" when we make love!
Q. I've just divorced my husband and met this man 18 years older than me. I am 45. This man is very good in bed. I've got turn on without minutes and gets very wet. He complains he couldnt feel anything when I am wet. He talks like its my fault ...
A. 27 November 2007: As both good ol' Doctor Phil and Ponungalungb have said, you're not the problem. I understand that penis sensitivity decreases with age. The nerve terminations are there but they aren't as sensitive as they used to be.
And, I agree he's lucky to... (read in full...)
My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent
Q. My wife wants to sleep with another man and wants my consent. I have always been faithful to my wife, but we have on a few occasions attended swingers parties and through them hooked up and had sex with other couples. We have been married fou...
A. 27 November 2007: Your lifestyle means that either of you can have sex with someone else. I had trouble seeing the difference between her having sex as part of swinging and her having "solo" sex. However, I see your point. This time it looks like she has a ... (read in full...)
Should a newlywed man still keep pictures of his ex's on his computer?
Q. I am newly married and my husband keeps pictures of him with previous girlfriends on his computer. Do you think he should get rid of them? We are married now so I don't see why he needs them anymore....
A. 27 November 2007: I'm with Collaroy. His ex's are part of his life, and perhaps that is what he wants to remember.
On the other hand, is there anything else in his behavior that makes you feel insecure? The fact that he just married you should be a good sign. S... (read in full...)
I'm 40 and he's 20 years older. My family say he's too old. Is there a future here?
Q. I am 40 just filed divorce and I met this man 20 years older than me. We go dancing every Saturday night and have sex whenever we are together. All my families and friends do not like what I am doing. And they think there is no future as he is ...
A. 27 November 2007: Nothing you're doing is "wtong", in the sense that it's not bad or inappropriate. I do want to say, however, that you may not be in the same stage of your lives. At 40 and just divorced, I bet you want a second chance, a new life, with new ... (read in full...)
Sex is getting boring--how do I tell her that?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for a little over 9 months now, we have sex on a semi regular basis, but im getting bored of the same old positions, ive asked her if we could try different stuff (non freaky things) but she doesnt seem intrested.. i ...
A. 27 November 2007: Why don't you just try new things? Of course, take care these "new things" also go with her tastes.... (read in full...)
She's giving me mixed signals. What should I do?
Q. dear all. thank you for helping me out in the past. but this one i can't get my head around. theres a lady that i like. we met. physical attraction was ok, but everything else was spot on. i have never laughed so much in my life, felt so at ease. it...
A. 26 November 2007: If she's giving you mixed signals, that can be because she is unsure about what to do (most likely) or she is playing games with you (not so likely, but it happens). In either case, you need a clear "yes", or a clear "no". If she won't say a clear ... (read in full...)
After thinking on it for a week, she rejected me. Now she's being flirty! What's going on?
Q. Hi, I asked a girl out and it took her 1 week to say no. then she began flirting with me alot. is she trying to say somthing and what do i do?... thanks...
A. 26 November 2007: Maybe this will seem like awful advice to you, but trust me on this one: Tell her to stop the flirting. If you don't, she will continue to play games with you.
Your intentions were clear when you asked her out. Her rejection was also clear (o... (read in full...)
Is he playing with me? - he "forgot" to say he lived with somebody else and already had a child. He says he loves me.
Q. Hi! I was with this person who wanted to me intimate right away with me after a few dates. I said no. After a while he would call me a few times then one day I stopped calling him. six month later he chased me down after a month we became intimate. ...
A. 26 November 2007: I agree with calamitysil. He is obviously playing with you. Don't let this go on.... (read in full...)
Scared my bi best friend will make a move on me...
Q. Me and 2 of my bestmates strongly think that our other bestmate is a bi-sexual but what im worried about is they they both say she fancies me. I'm fine with gays but its different when its your friend. At the moment her voice is just pissing me off. ...
A. 26 November 2007: I guess what you have to do is wait and see if she makes a pass. If she does, tell her, in a clear and strong manner, that your sexual preferences are different. Once you say this, leave. The message will be very clear. You'll have more chances ... (read in full...)
Should I cut my losses with a guy that doesn't want to commit?
Q. Should I cut my losses? S and I have been dating for several months now. I'm 26, he's 31. We have fun together, we spend a lot of time together and I love him. We do have little quarrels but as a whole it is a great relationship. The only problem ...
A. 26 November 2007: It's difficult to know what this man is thinking. Not all men think the same way. However, I think I can sort of analyze the situation. I'm afraid I can't tell you what to do, however.
As I see it, this is what might be happening:
a) He ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I am pleased for him without him thinking I am jealous and that I want him back?
Q. Me and a boyfriend split up a year ago. I ended it because he was a bit possessive and he wanted me to quit my job. Anyway we tried to remain friends but that didn't work out. He went on a few dates and kept telling me about them. I didn't mind be...
A. 25 November 2007: You can't control what a person thinks. But, you can be very clear and straighforward with people. If they don't get the message even if clearly spoken, that's not your fault.
I think you need to make it clear that you don't care about his havi... (read in full...)
I want to mess with both of these players...
Q. Ok so things are really messed up right now and these two guys(ones an ex and the other is kind of a friends with benefits but not exactly) are trying to see which one i will fall for..the sad thing is my ex has a gf and the other guy is such a ...
A. 25 November 2007: I would suggest that you just stay away from them.
First, in "punishing" the first guy, you will hurt his girlfriend, and she doesn't deserve that. I would think she has enough with the sort of boyfriend she got herself.
Second, you d... (read in full...)
During sex..He went limp. Ideas?
Q. I've just recently started dating a guy, and the first time we had sex, it was great, it was a little short lived, but great none-the-less. But yesterday.. the house was empty.. we were having plenty of foreplay.. i.e kissing necks, chests, s...
A. 25 November 2007: Have you ever heard about "performance anxiety"?... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 25 November 2007: And just another thought: perhaps your husband is away on purpose, and he wants the distance between you two to grow until you make the decision to leave him? I don't find it normal that a husband would leave his wife to fend for herself.
Take ... (read in full...)
Can't stop thinking about a girl who is proud to be a heartbreaker.
Q. Okay, so I'm looking for advice here, or at least some opinions of people who can relate. I'm totally nuts over a girl who I barely even know, and I have no idea why. I went on a few dates with her several months ago, and she cut off contact with...
A. 25 November 2007: To be honest, the only explanation I find for this is a) sex with her must have been of a superior kind, or b) she suggested it would be and you're dying to remove the doubt.
My advice can't be other than this: if you know for a fact she's ba... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 25 November 2007: Dear Confused Poster, your case is indeed a difficult one.
Entertaining thoughts with this new man would be wrong. Morally, but also in practical terms. Giving in to him would be like lighting a match and letting it fall; you would know how... (read in full...)
Can masturbating cause a yeast infection?
Q. can masturbating cause a yeast infection? ...
A. 25 November 2007: I'm not sure about how yeasts are transmitted, but, I agree with love-him: if your hands are clean, no.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I have an open relationship because we're so far apart but it's making me depressed
Q. Me and my girlfriend started an "open" relationship about a month ago. We had an intense relationship this summer and I fell in love with her. I went back to school at the end of the summer, and she stayed where we met. When we parted, the ...
A. 25 November 2007: I think you need direct and clear opinions.
A) Yes, you should consider this over, because it is. It was a summer fling indeed. If she were interested, she'd be coming your way. Instead, you're away from each other, communicate "occassi... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 25 November 2007: Just a comment. Perhaps the poster has already tried to discuss the subject with her husband. If the poster can tell us that her husband is away "for months at a time", and "up to six months", then this is a problem that has lasted for years. I ... (read in full...)
Out of nowhere, my internet boyfriend started picking fights with me and acting like I did something wrong when I didn't. Please help, I'm confused!
Q. I fell in love with keith 2 yrs. ago. we never met since it was on the internet. we talked everyday from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. daily then he'd go to bed for work....on his days off we'd talk then and at 11p.m. til 3 or 4 a.m. then 1 day he was angry. didn...
A. 25 November 2007: It seems he has found himself a new girl. Just as with any other relationship, my suggestion would be that you wait and see whether he e-mails you or wants to chat again. When he does, ask him what is the real matter. If he won't e-mail you or ... (read in full...)
I'm dating an older man who isn't really interested in sex and only does it because I still am, what should we do?
Q. I am 42, just divorced and met this man 18 years older than me. We only see each other 3 days a week but we have sex everytime we are together. This man said he just does it to please me. He has a low sex drive and sex is not important to him ...
A. 25 November 2007: I'm younger than either of you and have never found myself in such a situation, so perhaps I'm not the best person to give an opinion. But, I think it is easy to see there is a big difference between you two. At first sight, the difference seems ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend met another woman who began texting him constantly and telling everyone they are dating, I don't know who to believe
Q. I am having major trust issues right now. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. He met another woman this past september and she instantly began to text message him 10-20 times a day. He told her to stop and that he had a girlfriend. She ...
A. 25 November 2007: If your boyfriend hasn't done anything to encourage her behavior, then I suggest you hire a lawyer and send him to ask this woman to stop. That should be enough.... (read in full...)
My husband cheated on me for five years but says he'll never do it again, opinions please?
Q. my husband cheated all five years but now he's saying he'll never do it again.what do you think?...
A. 25 November 2007: If a partner of mine told me this, I would find it difficult to believe. Maybe I wouldn't believe it.
There is always a reason behind cheating. In his case, this reason lasted for at least five years. This wasn't an impulse, but a the consciou... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and he's 17, would dating him make me a pervert?
Q. ive recently started liking my cousins friend, we chat alot over msn and text.. we totally understand each other, the only problem being hes two years my junior, im 19 and hes just turned 17.. is this wrong, and will people think im perverted? my ...
A. 25 November 2007: I don't see why you think such a relationship would be "perverted". What if he were two years your senior? If you and this guy make a good match, go for him.
I also don't see why it is your cousin's business whether you are with this guy or n... (read in full...)
During a break in our relationship, my boyfriend got a girl pregnant. How do I deal with this?
Q. i just learnt that the man i am in love with, who has separated from me for 3 months during which we were still fostering a relationship, has made another girl pregnant during which time he would have been going out with me. i know this is not a ne...
A. 25 November 2007: If I were you, I would end the relationship and find someone else.
It's hard to stand our ground with people we love. We want to forgive and forget, because we want to think problems are just temporary and they will go away. But, no matter h... (read in full...)
My mum found out my dad has a mistress and we don't know what to do now, dad doesn't know we know about it yet
Q. My mum recently just found out that my dad has a mistress outside and is devastated. She came to talk to me about it and asked me what should she do. My dad still doesnt know that she knows. My mum is the kind that cant get over even those small is...
A. 25 November 2007: Maybe this is not the advice you expected, but I think this is not a problem you should deal with. It is your mother's problem to decide what she will do about it. She's the wife, not you. I assume you don't like or approve your father's ... (read in full...)
She takes my love for granted and gets mad if I broach the subject, what should I do?
Q. Hi, I've been seeing this girl for roughly 5 to 6 months and loved her so much but now it seems like she just makes me miserable and she just takes advantage of my love. She sort of takes it for granted. The worst part is if i try to talk about it...
A. 25 November 2007: If you can't communicate with her, and the relationship has to be her way or no way, then I think you should leave her. I also have to say that, when you wonder whether you love a person, then it's likely you don't. Move on.... (read in full...)
My ex has just died and I don't know if I should go to the funeral, as it might upset his family
Q. My Ex boyfriend has died, I loved him very much but he never gave anything back. should I go to the funeral? his parents have only just found out he was gay, his did not take it very well. do you thunk me going to his funeral will cause more upset....
A. 25 November 2007: In my opinion, if the family won't take it well, then you must not go. Avoid problems in tense moments such as this.... (read in full...)
Confused......
Q. I am married with three children. I have a very demanding job and work long hours. My husband is away abroad for months at a time-sometimes up to six months. He claims it is business related but I feel ignored and used. I have to pay all the bills, ...
A. 24 November 2007: As is often the case, I agree with Eddie. I think, however, that there is something to add here.
It seems clear that you don't feel your husband appreciates you or even cares about you. You're fighting it all alone, and then somebody comes wh... (read in full...)
She's got me hooked
Q. I met a new work colleague 14 months ago. I noticed her intelligence and quirky sense of humour straight away, although I wasn’t immediately attracted to her. During the passing months I have come to realise she’s such a beautiful person in every ...
A. 24 November 2007: I'm with Eddie. No matter how good she is, she's taken. Move on.... (read in full...)
Can pre-cum get you pregant??
Q. I want to really know.. can you get pregant by pre cum? ...
A. 24 November 2007: I believe Irish49 was right in saying that the girl should not take chances. If I understand the discussion right,
a) "pre-cum" does not contain semen in itself, but it MIGHT contain some semen if the man ejaculated before.
b) "pre-cum" might ... (read in full...)
He's a serial cheater, but he's scared his wife will find out, should I tell his wife?
Q. A bit confused and could use help from some of the great agony aunts on here. I almost started an affair with an attractive and married man I work with but stopped myself as the word is that he is a bit of a player and I would say he is. He has just ...
A. 23 November 2007: No, pgissyd, I'm not a cheater myself, and I'm against cheating.
I'm afraid that we're beginning to have a discussion among ourselves, and we're moving away from giving advice (even if harsh advice, like mine). That would be my fault, and I re... (read in full...)
He's a serial cheater, but he's scared his wife will find out, should I tell his wife?
Q. A bit confused and could use help from some of the great agony aunts on here. I almost started an affair with an attractive and married man I work with but stopped myself as the word is that he is a bit of a player and I would say he is. He has just ...
A. 23 November 2007: Just a quick comment, before anyone goes out to right the wrongs in the world.
Regarding the issue of telling the wife:
What difference is there if the poster told the wife anonymously? The only difference here is, THE POSTER wouldn't get cau... (read in full...)
Can pre-cum get you pregant??
Q. I want to really know.. can you get pregant by pre cum? ...
A. 23 November 2007: I'm with Irish49.... (read in full...)
He's a serial cheater, but he's scared his wife will find out, should I tell his wife?
Q. A bit confused and could use help from some of the great agony aunts on here. I almost started an affair with an attractive and married man I work with but stopped myself as the word is that he is a bit of a player and I would say he is. He has just ...
A. 23 November 2007: I congratulate you on being smart and not falling for this man. You're safe. I think staying away from him is all you should do. As you say, ignoring him is best. Don't get yourself into trouble by telling his wife about his cheating. This is ... (read in full...)
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