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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
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This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Two different words who are forced to meet but can't
Q. hey.i am a christian girl,who has everything she wishes for ...that is a lie ,i love a muslim guy(love him more than i ever loved anyone)he is my boyfreind but people just want me to leave him (i have 19 boys chasing after me sendin me cards they r ...
A. 12 October 2008: Dear poster, you're right in saying that moving on is never that simple. But it can be done, specially when the other person just doesn't want to be with you.
I understand your pain. I can only advise you to move on. I have been where you're n... (read in full...)
Can pre-cum get you pregant??
Q. I want to really know.. can you get pregant by pre cum? ...
A. 24 November 2007: I believe Irish49 was right in saying that the girl should not take chances. If I understand the discussion right,
a) "pre-cum" does not contain semen in itself, but it MIGHT contain some semen if the man ejaculated before.
b) "pre-cum" might ... (read in full...)
He's a serial cheater, but he's scared his wife will find out, should I tell his wife?
Q. A bit confused and could use help from some of the great agony aunts on here. I almost started an affair with an attractive and married man I work with but stopped myself as the word is that he is a bit of a player and I would say he is. He has just ...
A. 23 November 2007: No, pgissyd, I'm not a cheater myself, and I'm against cheating.
I'm afraid that we're beginning to have a discussion among ourselves, and we're moving away from giving advice (even if harsh advice, like mine). That would be my fault, and I re... (read in full...)
He's a serial cheater, but he's scared his wife will find out, should I tell his wife?
Q. A bit confused and could use help from some of the great agony aunts on here. I almost started an affair with an attractive and married man I work with but stopped myself as the word is that he is a bit of a player and I would say he is. He has just ...
A. 23 November 2007: Just a quick comment, before anyone goes out to right the wrongs in the world.
Regarding the issue of telling the wife:
What difference is there if the poster told the wife anonymously? The only difference here is, THE POSTER wouldn't get cau... (read in full...)
Can pre-cum get you pregant??
Q. I want to really know.. can you get pregant by pre cum? ...
A. 23 November 2007: I'm with Irish49.... (read in full...)
He's a serial cheater, but he's scared his wife will find out, should I tell his wife?
Q. A bit confused and could use help from some of the great agony aunts on here. I almost started an affair with an attractive and married man I work with but stopped myself as the word is that he is a bit of a player and I would say he is. He has just ...
A. 23 November 2007: I congratulate you on being smart and not falling for this man. You're safe. I think staying away from him is all you should do. As you say, ignoring him is best. Don't get yourself into trouble by telling his wife about his cheating. This is ... (read in full...)
Why has he had the sudden change of heart?
Q. Me and my partner of 3 years broke up sometime last year, I suspect he had met someone because he soon after started dating her. Well, for a whole year we remained friends and every so often he continued to tell me I should move on everytime I ...
A. 23 November 2007: I agree with Frank. He just wants to know that he still has you.... (read in full...)
Does he just want all the perks with none of the restrictions??
Q. I'm 18, and have been "dating" a 27 year old for almost a year. He works with teenagers, and therefore our relationship cannot be public, as he would risk losing his job and ruining his reputation. However, he also refuses to introduce me to his ...
A. 22 November 2007: You're 18, which I believe to be over the age of consent in Canada. So, in principle, there should not be anything legally wrong in his being involved with you. Why is something the matter? I'm afraid it is because you're one of the teenagers he ... (read in full...)
Was my ex hiding something?
Q. Was my ex hiding something? I just broke up with my ex fiance a little over a month ago, but now I keep remembering things that he did that bother me. One time he traveled to Colorado (we were living in new york) to work on renting out one of his ...
A. 22 November 2007: From the information you give, I have the feeling that you posted another question some time ago.
Your question is a good question. In short, I believe he was hiding something, indeed.
Sometimes we get involved in wrong relationships an... (read in full...)
Is it cheating when a wife exchanges expensive gifts and dates another man, even if they never had sex.
Q. A married woman dates a man who is not her husband and for Christmas gives him a gift of a Playstation and two games while accepting an expensive watch in return. She never had sex with this man, but has embraced him and seen him behind her ...
A. 18 November 2007: Perhaps we should use the word "cheating" only in its narrow sense of sexual intercourse with someone else, and to use "being unfaithful" in a more general sense, which would include the physical and the non-physical aspects. Some people might say ... (read in full...)
She's saying I smother her, but we live miles apart?, is this worth it?
Q. ive been with this girl for 6 months.im 32 she is 30.last week monday and tuesday was great wed and thurs she didnt return calls. thurs she send me an email and tells me she needs some space.she feels smothered and its stressing her out.her dad died ...
A. 14 November 2007: I'm in agreement with Irish49, except in two points. Irish's answer suggests she might come back; I don't think she ever will, precisely for the same reasons Irish is giving. Second, my advice is this: give her the space she is asking for, but, ... (read in full...)
Husband is Deployed, and I'm lonely. Is online relationships and flirting as a coping method...advice?
Q. Im 22 Happily married and have a beautiful daughter whose now 8 months old. My husband is deployed atm, and i find myself very lonely, and i am seeking comfort in online flirting, and i now have 3 friends who think they love me ( all met online). ...
A. 14 November 2007: I'm with Irish49.... (read in full...)
He said sorry for leading me on.
Q. About 6 months ago I dated a guy who was a good friend of mine, but I didn't really like him very much. Eventually I ended up cheating on him and felt so bad about it that I immediately dumped him with no explanation other than "I'd rather just ...
A. 14 November 2007: I don't think he likes you. I think you should simply move on.... (read in full...)
He watches tranny porn - is he gay or what?
Q. My boyfriend and I were in the most loving, respectful and caring relationship for over 3 years. I found he was watching tranny porn and I confronted him on it and said that it didn't bother me (and it didn't - I used to manage an adult movie s...
A. 14 November 2007: Don't go for revenge sex. That isn't good for anyone. Keep your cool and think carefully what you will do.
Remember that this site is here to help people.... (read in full...)
Two different words who are forced to meet but can't
Q. hey.i am a christian girl,who has everything she wishes for ...that is a lie ,i love a muslim guy(love him more than i ever loved anyone)he is my boyfreind but people just want me to leave him (i have 19 boys chasing after me sendin me cards they r ...
A. 14 November 2007: Well, dear, you did your best, while he didn't want to go his half of the way. At least you tried. Now, move on and always be happy.... (read in full...)
He watches tranny porn - is he gay or what?
Q. My boyfriend and I were in the most loving, respectful and caring relationship for over 3 years. I found he was watching tranny porn and I confronted him on it and said that it didn't bother me (and it didn't - I used to manage an adult movie s...
A. 8 November 2007: Maybe your boyfriend is a) a gay using you as cover, or b) a bisexual. He seems to find a gender change attractive. I don't think a straight man would look at tranny porn (I didn't even know it existed; I had to look the word up to know what you ... (read in full...)
I'm in a loving relationship, but I can't stop thinking abou my ex, help me!
Q. Please...im in need of relationship advice! I have an ex of which ive been split from since dec 2005/06. Im currently in another relationship with a guy whom i love dearly, but i just cant seem to get my ex out of my mind. For the past 2 year or s...
A. 7 November 2007: My dear, this is what you need to have in mind:
You have a wonderful relationship here and now, with a man who is everything you want. You HAD a relationship in the past, with someone who didn't give you the respect and love you needed. This man... (read in full...)
I worry about the effectiveness of condoms!
Q. I am just curious how effective condoms are. My boyfriend and I have used them every time we've had sex - however i am still paranoid about an accident. I'd say we're both very cautious and safe about these things, but there's still a chance. so ...
A. 7 November 2007: Do look into other forms of birth control. And stand up for the responsibility if everything fails.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend goes on holidays that I cannot afford, yet he texts me about his wonderful time, is he being selfish?
Q. Ok.My Bf went on holiday to Tenerife.he didnt invited me,but i didnt mind that at first.have very important exam session soon,and no much funds,so would ve been likely not to accepted if he would.The thing that annoys me is his sms from there. ...
A. 7 November 2007: I believe it's inconsiderate of him to do all this knowing full well that you can't afford to travel and that it will make you feel bad. I find this awful. He sort of puts salt in an open wound. Perhaps he could agree to traveling somewhere else, ... (read in full...)
My wife said she'd be willing to do the "work" for the company; this could lead her to spend the night with the clients. Should I agree?
Q. Hi My job with the company I work for involves looking after overseas clients. They general spend 4-5 days here then go home. Most are married men in their late 40-50s and like to have female company when we go to dinner. So I generally hire a...
A. 7 November 2007: In my old fashioned mind, she's telling you she'd like to have sex with someone else, and is asking you to approve it. This is something that only you can do. We can't help you with this.... (read in full...)
We only just got married, and already things are falling apart, help me!
Q. I just got married about 2 months ago and we are already having major marital problems. We can't seem to get along at all anymore. We have been seeing a counsellor for months (even before we got married) but it isn't helping at all. I don't feel as ...
A. 7 November 2007: Just one more thing, Peppy: see carefully whether the relationship is moving in the right direction. This is a situation that can only improve or worsen; it won't stay the same. If, after some time (say, some months) you see the situation is ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my Long Distance interest since we met and slept together! Was he just using me?
Q. I've been in contact with a guy, writing, texting and talking constantly by telephone. He told me that I was his girl and that it was hard to meet a good person in life and talking of future things we would do together etc. We arranged to meet, ...
A. 6 November 2007: Time will tell. Wait for him to call you. Maybe he hasn't called because he's busy.... (read in full...)
I'm married, never cheated on my husband, and the tests reveal I'm HIV positive. How do I tell him this...?
Q. How can I handle my life? I'm 30 yrs old I have i'm married for 6 yrs now. i didn't have sex with other guys but when i tested my blood i'm positive with HIV, do you recommend to tell to my husband? He will kill himself and I belive him he didn'...
A. 6 November 2007: As I live in a developing country as well, I can tell you that sometimes the people who do the testing for AIDS get all mixed up and don't really know what sample corresponds to whom. In the country where I live, a woman was told she had AIDS, and ... (read in full...)
We only just got married, and already things are falling apart, help me!
Q. I just got married about 2 months ago and we are already having major marital problems. We can't seem to get along at all anymore. We have been seeing a counsellor for months (even before we got married) but it isn't helping at all. I don't feel as ...
A. 6 November 2007: Peppytoon, I do believe you when you say no one gets married to divorce any time soon. And I also believe you were not having these kind of problems, or at least they weren't that serious. I'm sorry to learn that being married has changed things ... (read in full...)
We only just got married, and already things are falling apart, help me!
Q. I just got married about 2 months ago and we are already having major marital problems. We can't seem to get along at all anymore. We have been seeing a counsellor for months (even before we got married) but it isn't helping at all. I don't feel as ...
A. 6 November 2007: Peppytoon, I have a bad feeling about your marriage. You should still be feeling like you were on your honeymoon; instead, you're having horrible problems. I wonder if there is any way to fix this. Of course I think you should try. bit I would ... (read in full...)
I want to get married and have a kid, but my ex who doesn't keeps wanting me back when other men want me!
Q. Help, ive got myself into a pickle. Im a 36 year old women who would one day like to get married and have a baby with the right man.I have no children and have never been married. A lovely 28 year old guy asked me out,he is handsome ,charmi...
A. 6 November 2007: I agree that you need a guy who will treat you right and love you. I just don't think that the 38-year old is that man. Apparently he wants you back the minute he knows another man sets his eyes on you, but dumps you when he feels sure you're not ... (read in full...)
My ex contacted me after a year of silence and is now sending me odd texts!
Q. My ex contacted me after a year of silence. I was stunned naturally but I stayed completeley aloof and agreed to meet him up for drinks this Friday. It was all his suggestion. Oddly, he began laying terms and conditions on me like "I'm not ready for ...
A. 6 November 2007: In direct terms, I believe he wants you back, but he doesn't want you to think you will ever be having a relationship again. He just wants "the benefits", and is testing the waters.
I must say that I find him odd. You hadn't even tried to conta... (read in full...)
I feel that masturbation change my mood! Is this normal?
Q. Just a very straight forward question, really; Does Masturbation cause your mood to change? Even though it has been months since my girlfriend left me, it still gets me emotional. But I find that I'm slightly more sensitive to the subject after Ma...
A. 6 November 2007: Masturbation doesn't change your moods. But, I believe that it does remind you that you still want sex with her.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend asked for a break, will we get back together?
Q. A few days ago, my boyfriend suggested that we take a break. He said that at the moment, school and work are taking a toll on him and our relationship is stressing him because he doesn't feel he has the time he needs to put into it. He said he ...
A. 6 November 2007: I believe that you should always know where you stand with someone you love. If the person wants a relationship with you, then it should be very clear what kind of a relationship that person wants. And, if s/he doesn't want a relationship, then ... (read in full...)
Our friends brought up the engagement issue, and he says he hasn't really thought about it, should I worry?
Q. Hi everyone. The other day me and my boyfriend were in a takeaway talking to one of our friends and he was asking if we'd thought of getting engaged yet. My boyfriend just didn't say anything and i was looking at him with a bit of a disappointment...
A. 6 November 2007: I agree with Tux. There is also the possibility that he felt ambushed. Why should a friend worry whether you two will engage or not? Maybe he thought you asked your friend to pose the question to him.... (read in full...)
We meet up once a week and it's only sex, but can there be more?
Q. I have known this guy for over 3 years. The last 3 months we've been dating or whatever you want to call it. We both have kids so we only get to see each other once a week but when we do see each other, it's really only sex and then he leaves. I've ...
A. 6 November 2007: When someone can't answer whether s/he wants more than sex with you, most likely s/he just wants sex.
I suppose you had feelings for him and that was why you consented to the sex. You were thinking there would be a relationship. I'm afraid h... (read in full...)
I discovered my dad is having sexual online relationships with over 20 different men. What do I do?
Q. I am 19 and no longer live at home. One day i went to my parents house to visit but they were not there. So i thought i would check my email while i waited. When i went onto yahoo mail, my dad had not signed out of his account and something just ...
A. 2 November 2007: This is a difficult situation. Your father is cheating on your mother multiple times, and then he is gay and uses her as a cover. It's difficult to know whether you should talk to your mother or not. And, once she knew, she would be the one ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her that she might fancy me?
Q. Hi there is a lady who i have really deep feelings for, but she says that she is straight. However ive seen the way she looks at me, and im convinced she feels the same way. How can i get her to open up to me wthout losing her as a friend?...
A. 26 October 2007: When you love someone, it is very easy to project one's own feelings and expectations in the behavior of other people. I'm sorry to say this, but I believe this is what is happening with you. You love her so much that you take her smallest action ... (read in full...)
Do most people "block" contacts once a long distance relationship goes bad? He's asking for space and keeps changing his mind.
Q. My bf of over a year (long distance) turned around and said he needed time alone and space and distance to figure himself out. He cut all phone calls and said it was because he needs distance, and that he didnt see the reason why we should talk o...
A. 26 October 2007: I think I understand your situation. Those little instant messenger icons cause a lot of pain. It would be so easy to communicate with your ex, but you can't. You wonder whether you should delete the icons, which can be thought of as a hint that ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend gay or just open minded?
Q. I was on my boyfriend's computer trying to find a document I downloaded for homework and found gay porn on it. He's said that he had sex with another guy in the past and that he likes having stuff up his butt (ie. toys, etc.). We are crazily...
A. 25 October 2007: Correct me if I'm wrong, but the definition of "open minded" is not the same as that of "homosexual". You can be open minded without being gay or lesbian.
If he has admitted to having sex with another man and to find gay porn a turn on, then he ... (read in full...)
Two different words who are forced to meet but can't
Q. hey.i am a christian girl,who has everything she wishes for ...that is a lie ,i love a muslim guy(love him more than i ever loved anyone)he is my boyfreind but people just want me to leave him (i have 19 boys chasing after me sendin me cards they r ...
A. 24 October 2007: Perhaps a point that everyone is missing is that the poster lives in Lebanon, where religion is taken a lot more seriously than in the West, and where religious boundaries mean a hell of a lot more than here. Just remember what has been happening ... (read in full...)
Is there a way to increase the length of my penis?
Q. hi, i was just wondering iif there are any ways to inccrease the length of your penis....
A. 24 October 2007: At your age, nearly every boy worries about his penis not being big enough. This is a concern you will grow too old for.
I will add that maybe your penis will still become larger, as you're very young. If it doesn't, I wouldn't recommen... (read in full...)
She says she'd never cheat on me.
Q. Hi i am a 28yo Male who has been in a live in relationship for 1 year. I was cheated on in my last relationship and I found out early on that my current girlfriend had cheated on her last boyfriend and one when she was in her teens. My proble...
A. 24 October 2007: I'm with Collaroy... (read in full...)
I masturbate every day, and now my semen is a lot less thick than it was. Will it return to normal if I stop?
Q. Hi, I m 16yr old, And Im masturbating since I was 13. When I turned 15 it was like a daily activity for me, And now I m addicted to it. I want to get rid of this habbit. And Now when I masturbate my cum is not that thick and sticky like it was b4. I ...
A. 23 October 2007: Dr. Phil, he may be having a laugh at us, yes. I have actually seen some posts which are unmistakable bad jokes. In this case, he might be a very uninformed guy.
For the poster: masturbating does not damage your testicles.... (read in full...)
I treat her like a princess but she keeps breaking my heart. What can I do?
Q. Hey Cupids, Really need your help right now. To cut a long and complicated story short. Met a girl at uni, had a relationship, she broke up with me over the summer. She returned a few months later wanting a casual thing. I could'nt do that, but we...
A. 23 October 2007: JustaGuy, you will earn yourself a lot of her respect if you can stand your ground even if you love her that much. The value of not tolerating any abuse from her, not letting her reel you in, is exactly in overcoming your wish to talk to her. This ... (read in full...)
I masturbate every day, and now my semen is a lot less thick than it was. Will it return to normal if I stop?
Q. Hi, I m 16yr old, And Im masturbating since I was 13. When I turned 15 it was like a daily activity for me, And now I m addicted to it. I want to get rid of this habbit. And Now when I masturbate my cum is not that thick and sticky like it was b4. I ...
A. 23 October 2007: I believe that the bottom of your question is whether your semen will be "spent" because of frequent masturbation. It won't.
Semen is produced every day by your gonads, so the amount of semen of your ejaculate will return to what it used to be if... (read in full...)
I insisted I was sorry and he accused me of harassment. Was it?
Q. please help, i've been unhappily married for the last several years, just recently ive met someone ive fell for, nothing has happened yet but fot the past five months we had been sending each other very pesonal text messages, just recently i ...
A. 23 October 2007: As Checkup_Man says, he sounds very immature and incapable of accepting an apology. I wonder how he can claim that an urge to apologize is harassment.
Don't worry about him and move on.... (read in full...)
Are men biologically incapable of forming close emotional bonds with anyone, including wives, girlfriends, etc? Is it the release of oxytocin?
Q. Are men biologically incapable of forming close emotional bonds with anyone, including wives, girl friends, etc.? I've read and heard in the news a lot lately about how the neurotransmitters (oxytocin) released by the brain in women to bond wi...
A. 23 October 2007: I wonder how men can get heartbroken if they are "biologically incapable" of forming close bonds. Something is the matter with that science.... (read in full...)
I treat her like a princess but she keeps breaking my heart. What can I do?
Q. Hey Cupids, Really need your help right now. To cut a long and complicated story short. Met a girl at uni, had a relationship, she broke up with me over the summer. She returned a few months later wanting a casual thing. I could'nt do that, but we...
A. 23 October 2007: I'm with good Eyeswideopen. This girl knows she has you, and she will play with you for as long as you let her. Surprise her this time: don't take her back and tell her she wasted her chances. That is, if she comes your way.
If you want to ... (read in full...)
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