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Girls, would you find it insulting for a boy to ask you out by text?

Tagged as: Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 October 2007) 14 Answers - (Newest, 24 December 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

this is a question for girls, would you find it insulting if a boy was to ask you out, say to go to the cinema using a text message? and would you be more likely to reject them?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007):

i think it's quite sweet, well it's nice being asked out and i think there nothing wrong asking out a girl by texting her a message

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007):

I would so prefer to be asked out face to face. I guess it might be more nervewracking but it shows that the guy really does like you and has the courage to say so.

Texting is a way that hides your emotions so girls can never be sure whether the guy really means it or not.

Good luck which ever way you choose. x

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A female reader, desirewhitefire Austria +, writes (23 October 2007):

desirewhitefire agony auntWhat ever happened to traditional courting? Are we such a media focused generation that we can't even ask someone out on a date without the aid of a text message?

Texting someone is cheesy and immature. If you can't even face someone and ask them out on a date, how on earth do you expect to communicate with them during the date? Are you going to sit next to each other and text back and forth? Sounds ridiculous, huh?

Girls like a little romance and when boys are considerate. Ask her out to her face, and hold open the door for her when you go out.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007):

I wouldnt mind 2 b asked out by text to be honest i think its better to be asked out by text because incase the girl lets you down you wont have to go thu with it face to face eni wayy hope evifin goes wel gud luk x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

i dont think so because if that person is shy like i am its kinda hard to build up the courage to ask someone out over the phone one face to face is even worse but in a text message you can build up the courage send the message but if you loose the courage you've already done it and just have to face the consequences

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

Apologies..and error in my posting. Missed one important word!

Change:

"text messaging is pretty cold and a good way to get to know a person you really like a lot better."

to

"text messaging is pretty cold and NOT a good way to get to know a person you really like a lot better."

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007):

I agree with Daniel. Ideally, when you ask someone out, you really should phone them or better yet, ask them out face to face. Especially those first crucial months of dating. You can call them, see them face to face---making a date, spending time with them, actually talking and hearing each other's voice and seeing each other's body language (expressions, the eyes, the smile, etc) What a great and humanistic way to break the ice. When a person text messages to date you, there are so many opportunities and words that can be be misunderstand, to miss that nice feeling of picking up on the nuances or the refinement of live contact. Really...how much meaningfulness and sincerity can be conveyed to another via text messages. I have nothing against text messaging--I think it's okay to text a girl/guy you've dated for awhile to make quick, spontaneous plans by sending a quick hi "let's meet at such and such a place'. But if it's just a new relationship, use the phone or ask someone out, in the flesh because quite frankly, text messaging is pretty cold and a good way to get to know a person you really like a lot better.

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A male reader, Danielepew Mexico +, writes (21 October 2007):

Danielepew agony auntI'm not a girl, but I would recommend that you don't ask anyone out using a text message. You should always say everything important face to face.

On the other hand, if you've been seeing a girl for long, and you two are already used to arranging things with a text message, then that is fine.

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A female reader, Pinkbees09 United States +, writes (21 October 2007):

Pinkbees09 agony auntNope, I wouldn't mind at all. Just make sure not to break up with her with a text message, that really hurts.

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A female reader, broken babe United States +, writes (21 October 2007):

broken babe agony aunti dont think it would matter i wouldnt care i wouldnt id just be happy that i got asked out go for it.

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A male reader, int5 United States +, writes (21 October 2007):

i asked someone out like that due tot he fact the person was shy but they said YES and now things are great! Everyone is different just as we all like different foods,etc. so it all depends

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A female reader, hit-the-road,jack... United Kingdom +, writes (21 October 2007):

i wouldnt find it offensive or insulting no,

but if youre worried about it

you could put before asking them "I would ask you face to face but im a bit shy"

or sumthin like that?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2007):

no not at all girls know that boys get embarrassed about stuff like that so just ask the girl out by text if you dont feel like ringing her or speaking to her in person.

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A female reader, JaffaZ Australia +, writes (21 October 2007):

JaffaZ agony auntHey,

If it's your girlfriend your asking, then that's not a big deal. My boyfriend and I organise things via text or msn all the time.

If you're asking someone out for the first time, it may be better to ask in person. Personally though, I wouldn't mind all that much. My current boyfriend asked me out on msn, and we've been together 5 months now. And msn and txt is pretty much the same thing.

It might depend on the girl, though. Some might not mind (like me) but others may be offended. If you think your girl might be the type to get easily insulted, it might be better to play it safe and ask in person.

Personally, I wouldnt be more likely to reject someone just because they asked me out via txt. In fact, I may be more inclined to go, because I have time to think it over and decide if I want to go. Asking in person puts the pressure on a bit, and so when guys have asked me out in person before, I've said no just to relieve the pressure...

That may just be me though...

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