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This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
28 November 2010: Recently, I found this poem by Maya Angelou. I think it pretty well summarizes how women should feel about themselves. Here it is, in case it benefits anyone. PHENOMENAL WOMAN by Maya Angelou Pretty women wonder where my secret lies I'm n...
Just some fun!
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 December 2008: Something one of my aunts sent me: When I was born, the doctor went to the waiting room and told my father: "We did all we could, but he was born alive". My mom didn't know whether she should keep me or the placenta. Since I was born before ...
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Is he cheating? I'm blonde but I'm not stupid!
Q. My partner and I have been together for six months. We're both late forties and although we don't yet live together, consider ourselves a committed couple. Whilst using his computer I discovered he's been indulging in sexual activities on-line with ...
A. 4 June 2008: See it in a positive light: Now you know very well what to do. You gave him every possible opportunity and he just didn't take them. Now you know how to move ahead, without thinking that "a little more love" would have done the trick.
Now y... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to feel uncomfortable when giving an ex relationship advice?
Q. I was in a relationship recently with a girl, but we split up. We're still friends now, and we still care a lot for each other, so we talk about all sorts. She's moving on and has starting dating someone, and she sometimes asks my advice. In a way ...
A. 21 October 2007: Waterloo_Sunset so rightly said that you didn't have to give her advice as to her love life. She should have known it is not right to ask YOU, of all people, for advice in this area. Now that I see your update, I am all the more convinced that ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get through this?
Q. I've recently gotten in engaged to my fiance' about 2 months ago. We've known each other for about 2 years and lived together for nearly a year. We had a plan to come to the US, (i'm a us citizen) and start a life here. So I've given up my job and ...
A. 19 October 2007: I understand your pain. However, I don't think that jumping onto a plane would really make any difference. She is slipping through your fingers, and you want to know what you could do to prevent this from happening. What needs to happen is that ... (read in full...)
Is this love, or is this friends with benefits?
Q. I was separated and became involved with someone who was a friend. She spent alot of time with me (she was going thru the same thing) and was very affectionate. It seemed like we had something very good happening to both of us and others around us ...
A. 19 October 2007: It feels really awful to find out that someone does not want the same from a relationship as we do. In this case, she offers sex, company, friendship, company, but she doesn't offer love and commitment. That means she is free to go away at any ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to get through this?
Q. I've recently gotten in engaged to my fiance' about 2 months ago. We've known each other for about 2 years and lived together for nearly a year. We had a plan to come to the US, (i'm a us citizen) and start a life here. So I've given up my job and ...
A. 19 October 2007: My sympathies to you. Your situation is very painful. I met a couple who were also trying to get a visa for her, and I know that can be a long and difficult process. I am sure you do love her and care for her a lot.
For her, travelling to the U... (read in full...)
I'm a proffessional hacker, but I don't like what I've found. What shall I do?
Q. I'm 30 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 7 months. I've known him for 6-7 years. We were friends before anything. I moved from one coast to have. But I am highly insecure which causes me to snoop. I ama professional in Computer spyware ...
A. 19 October 2007: It is very clear how he acts and what you can expect from him. If I were in your situation, I wouldn't give the person another chance.
As to the keylooger and the software, I wonder if you used them because there were things that just didn't s... (read in full...)
Why wont my husband be as saucey with me in the bedroom as he has been with others?
Q. I know my husband bought lingerie for women before voluntarily and did kinky stuff like videotaping having sex with them and bubble baths together. I've been with him for almost two years now and we have not done anything like that. The other da...
A. 19 October 2007: I'm with anonymous.... (read in full...)
How can I get her back?
Q. I recently got dumped by a girl I really liked. We was only going out for a week but we liked each other for a long time before. We had a great time together and she only dumped me because she wanted me as a friend. If she liked me once do you think ...
A. 18 October 2007: This girl knows very well that you fancy her, and, as you say, she fancied you, too. During the week you dated, she tried to determine whether you were what she wants in a boyfriend. It seems to me you are not who she wants. It's not that you're ... (read in full...)
Is it selfish of me to feel uncomfortable when giving an ex relationship advice?
Q. I was in a relationship recently with a girl, but we split up. We're still friends now, and we still care a lot for each other, so we talk about all sorts. She's moving on and has starting dating someone, and she sometimes asks my advice. In a way ...
A. 18 October 2007: Since giving her advice makes you feel uncomfortable, not giving that advice is the right thing to do. It seems your feelings for her have not yet disappeared in full, and you may end up giving her biased advice. In other spheres of life this ... (read in full...)
I can't see that it's over
Q. have been having an affair with a man who i taught was my soul mate.. we meet on friday night, booked into a hotel and had an amazing loving night.. i have txt him twice since and he has not replied.. should i just move on? its very hard to be like ...
A. 18 October 2007: If his not texting you in this period of time is unusual, then perhaps you should try to get an answer from him. I couldn't tell for sure whether he's gone or not.
However, I would recommend that you examine the relationship. If this is all you ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden, my fiance started giving me gifts. Should I feel suspicious or just accept them and not worry?
Q. Hey. My fiance rarely got me gifts unless if it would be be an occassion like a birthday, christmas, vday. I told him that it would be nice that hecan just evenn come home with flowers once in a while (so one can even have it on the tablein the livi...
A. 18 October 2007: This surely is a change in behavior, which must have an explanation. It could be that he's feeling guilty, but, the information you give is not enough to give an opinion. I would suggest that you do look carefully at this change, without having ... (read in full...)
How do you know if a guy wants to break up with you or not?
Q. How do you know if a guy wants to break up with you or not?? I have been seeing a guy for 3 months, we get to see eachother bout once a wk but lately this has become less and less and i feel that he has withdrawn from the relationship. We have up ...
A. 18 October 2007: I'm afraid he's too much of a coward to let you know you're dumped. As Dapone_1 says, his excuse is very lame. He's not worth your agony.... (read in full...)
Is my husband of 10 years gay?
Q. Hi I have been together with my husband for 14 years; been married for 10. I'm confused. I think he may be a little gay. He goes on about a lad at work all the time and he also is really homophobic. Not sure if that is a good enough reason to th...
A. 18 October 2007: With the information you give, I wouldn't think he is gay.... (read in full...)
She keeps breaking up with me. Are we incompatible?
Q. Wonder if anyone can give me advice? I'm 30 years old and my Fiance has now ended our relationship after 3 and a half years. She was a very independent girl and liked to go on holidays, sometimes 3 or 4 a year. She had a 13 year old kid that I would ...
A. 18 October 2007: Sorry, I believe she is right: you are not compatible, really, and it doesn't seem like you could sustain a long-term relationship. I'm afraid that a second try would only be for the worse. My opinion is that you should move on.... (read in full...)
My bf is a complicated man. I answered if I am what he wants and he never answered me. Am I not?
Q. I asked my boyfriend if I am what he wants. He never answered me. Is it because I'm not and I just happen to be the woman that wants him right know? I love him and I am torn and I dont know how to handle this. He is a complicated man....
A. 17 October 2007: Dear, this is a complicated question, too, and one that he might not be able to answer, or might have chosen not to answer to avoid getting into a maze. In theory, it should be easy to answer: "yes, you are" or "no, you aren't". I wonder what the ... (read in full...)
Shouldn't he be the one getting therapy, since he caused the marital problems? Who is in a denial here? Does therapy work? He said it'd be better if I didn't dig back to our issues...
Q. Am I losing my mind. I am so unhappy in my relationship that the only way to keep peace and not to bring up stuff from the past that affects our immediate future is to talk to people with more marital problems than i have and help them solve theirs. ...
A. 17 October 2007: You have a point here. In plain, blunt words, he is telling you to shut up and forget anything happened. He won't discuss it, which would be a way to deal with the issue, whatever it was, and he doesn't really offer anything for the future. His ... (read in full...)
I went to Japan to vist my gf for our anniversary and her parents say I'm stalking her and will call the police!! I can't even speak w/ her now b/c of them!
Q. im a 17 yr old guy,me and this girl have been together for a year and a half,she went to japan with a couple people from her shcool and 2 teachers,before she went to japan she grabbed me by the hands and said that she wanted to celebrate our 2 years ...
A. 17 October 2007: It seems to me that this girl is NOT 12 years old, but that she is starting her twelfth year at school. I did a little search in Google and found that "Year 12" is the final high school year there. So she must be something like 17-18.
Just ... (read in full...)
Cat's away and mice wanna play
Q. I Need help ! Me and my boyfriend are currently on a break, which was my idea. My reason being was that we were getting in to too many arguments so I wanted some time to myself. But I met this guy the other night, and I really like him, and he feels ...
A. 17 October 2007: In my humble opinion, when a woman asks for a "break", or "space", the relationship is in serious problems: she wants out. It is clear to me that you no longer love your boyfriend. Tell him so. After you break up with him, you will be able to go ... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend?
Q. How can I help my best friend? He is dating a biploar girl with many issues. They have been fighting about him wanting some alone time, that she is always coming to him at his apartment, and he told her he love her and took it back but now he says ...
A. 17 October 2007: I'm with Irish. Even if you don't have any romantic interest in him, let them be. The relationship is theirs to sustain.... (read in full...)
My fiance travels abroad a lot and I don't feel much prioritised as I should be!
Q. Someone help me to understand how I can cope with my situation. Im 24, and my fiance is same age as me. He travels a lot abroad with work, and this bugs me a hell of a lot. He isnt really present much in the relationship as what he used to be. ...
A. 17 October 2007: I'm with Tommy7. Also, I must add that he needs to travel. Otherwise, he'll be out of a job.... (read in full...)
How can I find if he went with a prostitute?
Q. I think my bf of 4 years has cheated on me with a prostitute.I asked him, he denied know but I im having a problem believing him so. How can I go about finding out?...
A. 17 October 2007: From your information, he may have had sex with a prostitute. They were available and he might be hiding information about money. However, I think this could happen at home, too. There are prostitutes in every country. The fact that they are ... (read in full...)
I'm waiting it out to see if he calls me.
Q. An ex is calling to let me know that he has arrived safely to his out of town worksite. He says he wanted to let someone know that he was ok and how to get in touch with him in case they needed to. Strang thing is he had already called his best ...
A. 17 October 2007: It seems like he still has some feelings for you. He wants to talk to you, and he wants you to be informed should something happen to him.
If you broke up and you don't want him anymore, don't wait for his call. Let him call (just in case) an... (read in full...)
Could these be signs of pregnancy?
Q. Hey i need help please!! Okay you get asked this everyday im sure. But please be a little patient with me im 16 years old and scared to death. Ok me and my boyfriend have had sex WITHOUT protection, VERY stupid thing i know but it happened and...
A. 17 October 2007: Sorry. I meant "remove the doubt by getting tested".... (read in full...)
Could these be signs of pregnancy?
Q. Hey i need help please!! Okay you get asked this everyday im sure. But please be a little patient with me im 16 years old and scared to death. Ok me and my boyfriend have had sex WITHOUT protection, VERY stupid thing i know but it happened and...
A. 17 October 2007: Yes, this could be the signs of pregnancy. But take the test to be sure. Pharmacies sell kits for testing at home. If those are positive, then you can go to a clinic and confirm the results.
It's no use worrying about whether you are pregnant... (read in full...)
I am reposting this, please help, I'm concerned.
Q. i had posted this yesterday....................................................................i i am an american citizen. i met an australian man over the internet last year and things progressed with our relationship rapidly. like we were soul ...
A. 17 October 2007: I didn't see the other post, but I can sort of reconstruct what the other agony aunts and uncles responded.
It seems this man has a very hard time trusting you. I can understand that he was hurt before, and I know that human feelings don't wo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to masterbate in front of him.
Q. Just a quick question. Before having sex once, my boyfriend was fingering me and he slowly guided my hand down and basically told me to sort of rub myself. I've never done that in front of anyone before so I was kinda uncomfortable and didn't. He ...
A. 17 October 2007: I do believe that his mentioning is a hint indeed.
If you do think you'd like to do that, who can tell you it wouldn't?... (read in full...)
I found out my husband has been watching gay porn!
Q. I just found out that my husband of 13 years has been watching gay porn on our computer when I go to bed earlier than he does. I'm completely floored and haven't talked to him about it yet. We do have sex but not as much as I would like. I don't ...
A. 17 October 2007: Straight men don't usually have an interest in gay porn. Since he watches it often, I'm pretty sure he has this inclination. At least, as one poster says, he could be bisexual.
This will be a hard issue to tackle. If you ask him about his inte... (read in full...)
I don't regret having sex with him, but I'm confused
Q. A month ago i broke up with my long term boyfriend. There wasn't a real reason but i believe it was down to his jealously, as i had just started a job where all the people i work with except 1, are male. The break up wasn't ugly, even though i...
A. 17 October 2007: You should be very careful. He broke up with you, for bad reasons, and now he is saying he won't have a relationship. It may well be that he just wants the sex.
I think you should not consent to any more sex before he tells you, in a very cle... (read in full...)
I really like him. Should I carry this relationship on?
Q. i really like this boy and he likes me but he says he takes certain lessons just to be with the girls should i carry this relationship on?...
A. 17 October 2007: Yes, you should. As Tommy7 says, he is looking for a girlfriend.... (read in full...)
Is he trying to be unfaithful to me?
Q. what does it mean when my boyfriend looks at match.com and saves profiles in his favourites?...
A. 16 October 2007: It means that he's looking for another woman. Don't let him do this to you.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend keeps XXX photo's of his ex on the computer
Q. hi there my boyfriend of 1 year has xxx photos of his ex girlfriend he deleted them from the computer when i found then as i was very upset about it then 5 months ago but the other day he has put them back in a hidden file what do i do i am 41 and ...
A. 16 October 2007: I'm with rammsteinfan and Irish. I believe he should have gotten rid of those pictures long before he even started a relationship with you. You need to give every person a fresh, clean start.... (read in full...)
Could my husband be cheating?
Q. iv been told rumors that my husband is having a affair i dont want to believe it i love him so much his always told from the beginging that if he met some one else he would leave me he wont give me sex i havent had it for 3 months he as now told me ...
A. 16 October 2007: Rumors can be either true or false. It is hard to take them seriously, and then it is also hard to dismiss them easily. Sometimes they turn out to be true. But, I wouldn't go on rumors alone to determine whether someone is cheating or not.
... (read in full...)
Does he want his cake and to eat it too?
Q. i meet a guy and we got on great , i felt a connection between us bin sigle for a while and dont trust men but got on as if know him for yrs , we meet a few times and texted each other , we ended up sleepin together,he still textes , and we meet up ...
A. 16 October 2007: I'm with Flowergirl.... (read in full...)
Is he cheating? I'm blonde but I'm not stupid!
Q. My partner and I have been together for six months. We're both late forties and although we don't yet live together, consider ourselves a committed couple. Whilst using his computer I discovered he's been indulging in sexual activities on-line with ...
A. 16 October 2007: I'm with Happytochat. This is cheating. He told you a stupid lie about his computer. His running the antivirus proves he's the kind of man who would make up and elaborate lie, and act on it. OF COURSE he has done all that himself!
I don't th... (read in full...)
Should I cheat to get some satisfaction?
Q. Hi there! Can you please give me some advice... I have been with my boyfriend for over 4 years and love him so much, but he doesn't do it for me in the bedroom, as he justs wants a quick 5 minutes and then he is done. Apart from that, everything...
A. 16 October 2007: Amen, Flower Girl.... (read in full...)
Is she being honest with me?
Q. To make a long story short, I an engaged to be married in March '08 after 2+ years. I am divorced, she's never been married. My fiancee started a new job 5 months ago, and made a male friend at work. They went out September 7, they both got re...
A. 16 October 2007: Gnu, I don't think the "other man" would tell you that he slept with your woman. Of course he had to deny anything happened. You can't expect him to look for trouble. Remember, he is a married man, too. His answer is no good.
Your girl is ... (read in full...)
I found out about her cheating and she says it will never happen again, but can I believe her?
Q. I met my girlfriend over a year ago and found out that cheated on me 11 months in I only found out because I saw her chat log on her computer there was only one and it basically said she preformed a sex act on him. I looked further back and ...
A. 16 October 2007: Poster, you don't need to apologize for the long post. We know it takes long to explain what a person feels.
You have raised a very good question yourself. How can this girl pass from a) "knowing the relationship would be over soon anyways,... (read in full...)
She said we should be friends but neither of us is making the effort.
Q. Me and my girlfriend broke up 2 months ago. We were together for 3 years, bought a home together, talked about marrage and children. Then one day says she fell out of love. I did the no contact and it worked she was calling all the time. Now she ...
A. 16 October 2007: There's something I don't quite get. You were together, then you split; you were friends, but now no one is interested in keeping the friendship. Where is the problem?... (read in full...)
My husband needs to read or watch lesbian porn to get aroused. Is this a behaviour problem, or just a sexual preference?
Q. I feel like I'm alone. I haven't found another woman who shares my heartache. Here's the problem in a nutshell... my husband can only get aroused reading, watching or talking about lesbian sex. Before we make love, he prefers to read lesbian porn ...
A. 16 October 2007: This is a difficult problem, and it seems like it will not be solved. Like you said, now it's all or nothing for him: either his way, or no way. He won't even agree to occasional sex in the traditional way. The complication here is that his way ... (read in full...)
My husband needs to read or watch lesbian porn to get aroused. Is this a behaviour problem, or just a sexual preference?
Q. I feel like I'm alone. I haven't found another woman who shares my heartache. Here's the problem in a nutshell... my husband can only get aroused reading, watching or talking about lesbian sex. Before we make love, he prefers to read lesbian porn ...
A. 16 October 2007: I had never heard of such a problem before, and it seems indeed hard to tackle. As to whether this is a sexual preference, it obviously is. Some people would define "sexual preferences" as "behavior problems", so it is difficult to avoid being ... (read in full...)
Is it him or me?
Q. Should I be worried that I found porn in my boyfriendds things? I've been living with my boyfriend for almost two years now. I feel like we have a pretty great realationship it has it's ups and downs just like everyone else. I was cleaning our...
A. 16 October 2007: Many women come to this site to ask for advice on porn. I have noticed that many of them feel that their males will think less of them because they will inevitably compare them unfavourably to the women they see on the screen, or the magazine, or ... (read in full...)
What's good for the goose is good for the gander, right?
Q. Me and my girlfriend are in a a slight situation. She won't give me oral (or fellatio) yet she insists i give her oral saying it will satisfy us both. I told her unless she gives me oral I won't give her oral. Ws I right, or am I just thinking...
A. 16 October 2007: In this case, yes, what is good for the goose is good for the gander, provided you don't understand it as "if I give you this, then you MUST give me that". Giving someone pleasure because you want to, without expecting anything in return, IS indeed ... (read in full...)
Are there any good women in the world?
Q. Are there any good women in the world? Everywhere I look they always seem to be horrible. Doesn't help when the last 2 girls I dated were snidy even though they dumped me after 3 and 1 dates respectively. I was nice to them. ...
A. 15 October 2007: For all my grumpiness, I am absolutely sure there is plenty of good women in the world. I have had the luck to meet several of them, and they will be forever in my memory (forever meaning "as long as I live").
There is obviously a problem ... (read in full...)
Sufficating my boyfriend.....
Q. I have a slight problem... I've recently been getting to know this guy, who I'm really falling for big time! He's always complimenting me, and is just the sweetest thing =] but I've always had the problem in relationships that I become really cli...
A. 15 October 2007: Dear Clingy, I believe that your problem is that you're a bit insecure about your relationships. If you felt comfident about yourself and the other person's feelings, then you wouldn't need to be so close to him all the time. The problem is a ... (read in full...)
Is she being honest with me?
Q. To make a long story short, I an engaged to be married in March '08 after 2+ years. I am divorced, she's never been married. My fiancee started a new job 5 months ago, and made a male friend at work. They went out September 7, they both got re...
A. 15 October 2007: As to calling the other man's wife, I wouldn't if I were you. That is their relationship, for them to define.
I agree with Dazzerg in that there are issues in this relationship. And, maybe the poster is to blame for this, though my experien... (read in full...)
Is she being honest with me?
Q. To make a long story short, I an engaged to be married in March '08 after 2+ years. I am divorced, she's never been married. My fiancee started a new job 5 months ago, and made a male friend at work. They went out September 7, they both got re...
A. 15 October 2007: I'm afraid she's not honest with you. I couldn't trust her if I were you.
I feel a lot of reservations about her behavior. This is the kind of "borderline" behavior that, at the very least, doesn't contribute to trust between partners. She stay... (read in full...)
I found out about her cheating and she says it will never happen again, but can I believe her?
Q. I met my girlfriend over a year ago and found out that cheated on me 11 months in I only found out because I saw her chat log on her computer there was only one and it basically said she preformed a sex act on him. I looked further back and ...
A. 15 October 2007: I think it would be good if I gave an opinion on the summary of your relationship that you have brought up. Maybe it would help yo to make up your mind whether you stay with her or not.
If I get you right, you met this girl 11 months ago. Sh... (read in full...)
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