A
male
age
51-59,
*onpf
writes:Hi all. Could really use a bit of advice from anyone who may be able to help.My ex and I recently split after 2 1/2 years together. Everything has been amicable and we are both still good friends. The only problem is that I want to be more than friends.I suspect that my ex also wants more than this but because of the bad times we had last year, is scared to try again in case everything repeats itself. We talk all the time about what went wrong and we both know that between us we have addressed all the major issues and that circumstances which caused alot of the troubles have changed, but she just seems so scared to try again.She has told me that there is no way she could go through all the pain again and that she needs to move on. However, we see each other very often. When we walk together she always wants to hold my hand. When I hug her when she's feeling down, she hugs me so hard and doesn't seem to want to let go. She tells me she loves me and misses me. She texts and phones everyday.My question is simple. Is there any hope for us?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2007): It is difficult to know what she is thinking, especially without knowing the troubles your relationship endured.She obviously seems scared to become more involved with you than she is at the moment. It will be fear of going back to how things used to be and getting hurt all over again. Again, difficult to know if it will be more until we know what hurt she is trying to recover from.She is showing signs of deep feelings and closness with you however, so maybe it will take more time for her to feel safe with your relationship.The fact that you are communicating so well is the start of a new beginning perhaps, continue with this. She is scared but 'what of?'
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 October 2007):
 You do want to try again, but the question is whether she wants to. She is giving mixed signals: says she wouldn't want through all the problems again, but is still around. Maybe she is afraid that the same old mistakes would be repeated.
If I were you, first of all I would try to show that old mistakes wouldn't return. And then I would ask her whether she would come back.
I wish you the best.
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