A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for going on 7 years. We just had our first baby 4 months ago. from the beginning of our relationship he has always told me that I was the only person he has ever slept with. When I first started talking to him 7 years ago...I was a virgin...I was looking for another virgin so that we could both experience our fist time together. When I met him I was immediately interested in him. I made it a hardcore point that i wasn't going to let it go any further if he had sex with another women. He told me at the time...and for 6 yrs of our relationship that I was his first. I recently found out that there has been another women that he has slept with in his past. I am so scared...because he lied to me...in anyway he could for 6 yrs...I feel like I can't trust anything he says...Now I can never get back my virginity and share it with someone who wants the same thing...I am so upset.
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male
reader, Dextro69  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 whilst yes he lied to you i take it that he is the same age as you. which means he was about 18 when you met and 18 year old boys(in fact most men) will say anything when it comes to gettig some sex, yes he lied but he also waited a year for you to be ready to do it,
Now with a child in the picture and a wedding comming up he wants to start married life as it should with no secrets.
when you gave yourself to him you loved him and i take it you still do give him a chance to exsplain why he lied in the first place.
after been with you he proberly relised how important the matter was to you but as the lie had been said he kept it up as he had fallen in love with you.
you dont say if it was your fiance who told you if it wasnt then WHY do you beleave the person who did.
A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 Let me ask you this. I know you're hurt, but look at your baby and then imagine your baby either not being their or having different qualities or characteristics than what he/she turned out with. That would be what your decision of not being with him would have changed what you have today.
No, you can't get your virginity back, but when you slept with him, did you love him or was it just sex to you? I'm not justifying his actions in not telling you before. That's wrong, but now you're older and you have a baby to support. That baby is such a precious gift and for being with the same person for 7 years that's amazing. Would you trade that in for a virgin that may not be compatible? I see you as being lucky, all though he wasn't a virgin. I have daughters and I am scared for them. There are more guys out there that dump the girl right after taking their virginity then off to the next one, than there are guys that will be with you for this long.
Stop regretting what you didn't have, and be greatful for what you do.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 He lied, all right, and he lied in a sensitive issue. I understand your anger. However, I can imagine that he lied because he very much liked you and knew that you wouldn't be with him if he said otherwise.
Maybe the seven years you have spent with him will tell you whether he is a valuable partner or not. I think you should be more forgiving.
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