A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my wife and i both work full time jobs.it seems that we have sex only one day a week.always our first day off together.we have the same two days off every week.its always in the morning when we wake up and usually the same way.during the week im able to go back to sleep before work. but she has the afternoon and evening to rest and doesnt seem to.she seems to be ok with once a week. im not. am i being selfish and unreasonable. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Q. am i being selfish and unreasonable?
A. Probably, Yes.
You seem to be very wrapped up in how your dwindling sex life is affecting YOU, and not very interested in how your wife feels about your sex life.
Make sure sex is as enjoyable for her as it is for you.
MOST men orgasm every time they have sex. for MOST women it can often be more difficult.
If all you do is climb on top of her and stick 'it' in and out until you're satisfied i can completely understand why she would only want to have sex with you once a week.
If she knew she would have an amazing orgasm EVERY time the two of you had sex, exhausted from work or not i'm sure she would up for it a whole lot more often.
Remember: sex is useful for two reasons.
1. to make babies
2. for the pleasure of BOTH partners.
Stop worrying about the fact that you're not getting off as often as you'd like and start worrying about why your wife (the person you should love most in the world) is not wanting to have sex with you very often.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (5 June 2008):
 Busy lives, and being up early for work is never a recepie for a sex life. I have to say we tend to have sex at a weekend not in the week.
Everyday things such as shopping, gardening, laundry, hoovering do take priority as does going to work.
It is easy to get cought up in everyday things. So in that case, just make sure the days off are special.
Quality time together is vital.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 No, I don't think it's selfish or unreasonable. I think that you are both run off your feet and tired after working such long hours. If you really want to make her feel like she has the time for sex a few more times a week, perhaps you could open up some free time in her calendar by picking up dinner and doing a few of her chores before she gets home, so that she is free for "other things" *nudge nudge wink wink say no more*. Scheduling a "Date Night" is another idea. Get out of the house and see a movie! A change is as good as a rest! Sometimes hanging around the house just reminds you of work, bills and more chores. Get her out so that she remembers that being a couple is your first priority, not all the other "stuff".
Sometimes when we get really busy, sex is the first thing to go, but it's important not to accept that. It's kind of the glue that keeps couples together, it keeps the intimacy in a relationship and promotes closeness between you, so don't give up trying to find ways to convince her - your relationship is worth it!
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