| A
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Ok, so Im a 15 year old girl and I have major self-confidence issues. You see, Ive got an Ok body but my face is really ugly. I think its ugly and so do other people. Its my nose that makes me ugly - its too big and horrible and makes my other facial features look out of place. Most of the lads I know/have known think/thought Im ugly. A hell of a lot of them have told me that I am, too. It really gets me down. Everytime I look in the mirror, I wish I was someone else. I was I could get a boyfriend, too - at 15 I've only ever had 1 boyfriend and Ive never been kissed. I cant look people in the eyes either because I dont want them to notice how ugly I am. Im jelous of pretty girls, too. My family and friends say Im bonny and not ugly but I dont believe them.I really really want to be pretty and dont want to be someone who never gets a boyfriend. What can I do? Please help xx Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2008):
My answer will be nothing you wish to hear and If it would do something positive to help you see the truth, I could list all of the reasons that set a precedent, giving you permission to feel what you feel, but the truth is we all individually need to see ourselves as beautiful, whole acceptable people that we truly are.
Here is food for thought, when we feel that we are not as good as we wish, we are of a character where we judge in general. For example, you have judged yourself mercilessly and so judging must be a current part of your make-up. So, as a first exercise, I want you to go the mall, make it a very busy mall on a very busy day. Then take several hours looking around at people in the mall, you have to keep notes of people you are viewing so you can look back and remember the traits of couples, I want you to look only at couples that are visually very happy, this is important. Now, notice all of the different types of people, make note of those differences, all of the different sizes of people, all of the people that you know to be pretty and those you see that are ugly in your own eyes and notice that with all of the diverse differences from big and small, short and tall, pretty or not that they are all happy and showing they love each other (remember you are only looking at couples and just those ones that you can see happiness) I know there exist unhappy people in the world but you are not going to concentrate on them now, only happy couples.
This experience can let you see that people with all types of differences who have found love, not only in each another but more importantly in them selves. If you follow this exercise through to the end you will learn a very important lesson, one that you will have to do the exercise to see.
my best to you and please know that in many people's eyes you are beautiful.
A
female
reader, anna92  +, writes (17 June 2008):
 Hey,
I used to be bullied at school because i had a big nose
i hated the way i looked
i was soo unconfident.
but then i got a boyfriend, and i've been with him for YEARS.
he loves me for who i am, and always tells me im the most beautiful girl he's ever met
since then, i've had loads of boys flirt with me, and ask me out.
i agree with the person below, who says you should try make up.
i personally feel that make up makes me look much nicer
and feel so much more comfortable and sexy
just invest in good make up, learn how to wear it well, get a fab haircut / or colour, and im sure eventually you will get someone who loves you the way you are
just dont worry, if you keep looking for a boyfriend you're not likely to find out
let it happen naturally:)
best of luck.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2008): Girl,everyone is beautiful and that includes you.Stop
feeling so sad.Everyone who tells you that you're ugly are
shallow,low life people who think they're better than everybody else when they're not.I think I'm ugly too,But I
don't let it bother me because I'm beautiful on the inside and out,I'm smart and I know that one day I will find that
special someone who will care for me and love me with all their heart.No matter what they tell you,you are beautiful
and one day you will realize that and find that special
someone too.And you'll look back and wonder why you were so
obsessed with having a boyfriend.
...............................
A
female
reader, LIERIN  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 Hallo there!Stop looking at yourself as some ugly creature from the darkness! Everyone has something that they hate about themselves! For example I have a big but and tights! But you know what? Some guys like that! I don't care what people think! I care how I feel and how I make people feel. Be happy! Love each part of your body. Go see a makeup artist, they will help you with tons of stuff. Good make up will make everyone look good! Trust me!!!! Did you ever see the book "Make art with makeup" its awesome. All these pretty ugly females, with acne, big noses, wierd shape eyes .. and stuff, that they thought make them look ugly, and this makeup artist showed hem exactly waht to do, and these women looked like models!!!Make up can fix lots of things. Dont put yourself down for your nose, eyers, lips,butt !!! Are you healthy?Do you have both legs and both hands?Can you see and hear?Do you have food to eat and watter to drink?DO you have a roof above your head?If so, than all is good. Now start thinking possitive. Each morning get up and tell yourself you are beautiful! And if anyone saiz you are ugly, tell them "thank you, I feel the same about you too!" that will piss them off!Good look girl!
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 What you need is self-confidence. If you walk around trusting yourself, and you're a good person, you will find eventually find more than one who will love you to bits. Let me tell you a little secret: your looks are not everything. And your looks will go away one day, whether you want it or not. Who you are, and how you are to your man, that will remain forever. That is what the smart guys will be interested in.
...............................
A
female
reader, daniellexxxx +, writes (2 June 2008):
 First of all noones ugly everyones attracted to someone and others find beautiful women not attractive.
When people keep saying something horrible things over and over again you start to belive it's true and thats when it becomes a problem with self confidence.
You will get a bf and when theres never a a time or place just try to be more confident and look in the mirror and tell your self your not ugly, Cause sweetie your not the bullies are jelouse.
Good luck. xx
...............................
A
male
reader, Uncle Sneaker +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Well, the reason you've not been kissed is more likely because you don't look people in the eyes - so the boys think you don't like them.
You don't have to be Miss World to find a boyfriend, I can assure you of that. In fact, many girls who are really very pretty have great difficulty in sustaining a relationship. It's the ordinary girls, those like you, who find a boyfriend they really like and who really likes them - and keep them.
In fact, you are probably far better looking than you think. Few of us like the look of ourselves in the mirror, and it's very easy to find fault with one feature or another that we think looks wrong when everyone else either doesn't notice at all or finds that particular feature attractive, interesting or simply part of a real character. There's a phrase - "The Girl Next-Door" - which means a real girl who doesn't look like a top model and does look, to men, like the sort of girl they could really spend their lives with.
Don't take any notice of the shallow twits who say you aren't good-looking. They're not important. You are real, and one day they will learn how much that means - by which time it will be too late for them. You will have been snapped up by someone with more sense who sees the real you.
...............................
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 June 2008):
 Oh Hunny,
I wish that I could give you a mirror that made you see how beautiful you are for yourself, but until you love yourself and accept yourself as you are, you're never going to believe your family and friends who think that you are bonny, your only going to hear the mean people that tell you that you're ugly. Right now, your face is still growing. When I was your age, my nose and my ears grew first, and I didn't grow into them until I was a bit older, but they actually did wind up fitting my face and I turned out fine. And lucky you! You have a lovely figure and you like your body - some girls are unhappy with theirs.
If you compare yourself to others, there will always be those who you think are better off, but there are also those who aren't as lucky as you are - the point being that key of happiness in this is to be happy with what you have! And more than this, you have your health, family and friends that love you and think you're bonny and all the time in the world to develop yourself into the woman that you want to become! Start developing your interests and find out what passion in life drives and moves you. There's nothing as beautiful as a face that is animated and full of life, it shows a person who is in love with life and who loves what they are doing! People are drawn to people like this! Develop yourself! I'll bet you will need a big stick to beat all the boys away soon! Smootches, Hun!
...............................
|
