A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I lost my baby 2 months ago and i am finding it very difficult to open up and talk about it with my partner. I'm so angry i can't let it out because I won't stop.He doesn't seem to understand this. can anyone help please? I really need some help (I was 7 months pregnant and had to give birth to my little girl. My partner was not there). He is now keen to try for another child. I am not ready. His mother is a very pushy women and wants another grandchild when they are all speaking to me. I just wanna scream and be with the baby which I can never see again. I feel so down - me and my partner row all the time he works a lot and is always away on business trips. I find it hard to cope and go around the house doing nothing and sitting in her nursery! Please - any ideas?I Feel so alone !! xx Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bubbloo24  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Yes I agree with the previous answer, you can seek help and advice through help lines and support groups, there are many women out there just like you who find it difficult (understandably) to try and pick themselves up from such an upsetting situation. You will be able to make friends and you won't feel alone, coz hun, you're not alone.
Some great advice from tuatara, you should listen to what she says, I don't think I have anything to add to that.
You will be in my prayers also. God will support you, help you and guide you to what you need to do now.
Please remember, you're not alone, you will find others just like you and people who can support you through this tough time.
My heart goes out to you, it truely does, and I hope that you can find some sort of comfort soon.
Take care xxx
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Hi Sweetie,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your child. That is devastating. I think that you have been through a lot, and it can't be easy for you right now in particular if this would have been around your due date. No one can tell you how to cope or grieve or what you should be feeling right now, but I don't think that holding it in is going to do any good for you either. If you speak with your Doctor, there must be a support group that you can attend. If not, would you consider counseling of some kind? Just to have a forum to vent and cry, and get some support while you are in this much pain. Your husband is probably grieving too, perhaps that is why he is throwing himself into his work. He is probably walking on pins and needles when he can be home, because he doesn't want to upset you. Would it be possible to schedule a long weekend or two away from the house together?
Your Mum-in-Law is probably saying all the standard things that she thinks are a big comfort, but they probably sound like blows right now - the same things that everybody says - These things happen for a reason - You're young, you can have more children - I'm sure that you've probably heard these and more like them that just feel empty. They don't say it with that intent, people just feel clumsy and awkward when something tragic happens, and they stumble and don't know the right words to say. It was probably a blow to her too, it was her grandchild, and I'm sure that she just has stuck her foot in it but did mean well.
Is your Mum nearby? Maybe you could spend a few days with her as well. Please try to get out and get active, it breaks my heart to think that you are sitting in the nursery all by yourself. You are a strong young women facing a personal tragedy. Allow yourself some time to grieve, it would be abnormal if you didn't feel this way. If you could find someone through your Doctor to talk with, it might be a great help to you. You'll get through this, and the pain will start to get better, I promise. You can write if you need a shoulder, I'll be here.
Big Hugs.
XXX
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 June 2008): I cannot even know how diffuclt this has been for you and I am so sorry your going through all of this. I really feel for you and will keep you in my prayers.
You have been through an awful lot and it seems alone. I want you to have some help with all of these overwhelming emotions. You are grieving and totally understandable, totally normal. You will handle this for as long as it takes and no one can tell you to snap out of it or move on. It to me is way too early for you to have this type of pressure. Can you get support from others? Your family, friends and perhaps I think a councellor? Most of us would need some extra care and attention now and perhaps for some time to come.
Sometimes people can't handle things well. Can't handle loss or know how to 'be' after a loss. It could be that your partner and his family think having another child will somehow right a wrong or replace the child you both lost. It could be this is how they are handling it and they don't understand how hard this is for you.
Please seek some help and guidance now for yourself. Maybe you could tell the family that your not coping too well, which is understandable and could they please just back off and understand that it is going to take you more time to get well again.
Honey, this is such a new and difficult period in your life to handle now. Give yourself as much time and care as you need. Ask your doctor to help, ask anyone you can think of to help get the others off your back. Give yourself a break.
I think you have done really well handling all of this pressure and I am sure that you will just get stronger and better in dealing with things in time.
God bless and take care.
xxx
...............................
|
