A
female
age
36-40,
*oman23
writes:Me and my husband went snowboarding, my feet were very cold, and i stayed in the snow a little longer, than they got to a point that i couldnt feel them any longer so i decided to go put on some more socks on to see if that would help, i notified my husband who in turn was very caring and understanding. I arrived to the car and i saw my shoes and his shoes stuffed with a pair of socks and i took mine and my husbands, which worked in the beginning but then it still didn't work as much. when we left the snowpark, he went to reach for his socks to give them to me so my feet warm up and he got real upset that i took them, he said that was a very selfish thing to do, that i had to think of him, and he kept saying the phrase "alow me to give you, dont just take", i dont know what to say to that, i would give him all of my socks if i had to, i just didnt think about it that way? Help? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (4 June 2008):
 Perhaps his feet were cold! LOL! Sounds like he loves you a lot hun! He was honest enough to tell you how he really felt in the hopes that you would listen! As long as he wasn't purple in the face and screaming like an idiot, he just had one of those moments and snapped! Next time it will be your turn to snap and his to forgive you. Give and take, and don't forget, women have a hard time letting go. Don't give up any good sex over it! Ha!
A
female
reader, woman23 +, writes (4 June 2008):
woman23 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Birdy, what you said it is exactly what he said to me, it is not about the socks, it is about being caring for the other and thinking of him before you, i agree honeslty, but i dont know why it didnt occur to me then. but i do think he made a big deal, and maybe he shouldnt of reacted so strongly, better a comment and a advice for next time.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (4 June 2008):
I had someone once tell me a lovely story about marriage.
Loving someone else isn't about FINDING "That Perfect Person". Loving someone else consists of finding that "person" and Then WANTING to be the "Perfect Person" for them (not in changing yourself, but in EFFORT).
If thinking outside the circle means that you need fresh eyes, then yes, you have been a bit selfish and you need to think about him Before you think about yourself. Socks might be a trivial thing, but how you treat someone else is not. If he starts to feel like you take him forgranted, don't be surprised if he does the same thing.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (4 June 2008):
When you are married, the whole point is considering the other person's needs before your own, because you love them and place them before yourself. If you think about that point, then asking before you take the only pair of socks that he has brought with him is probably the point that he would hope that you would see.
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female
reader, woman23 +, writes (4 June 2008):
woman23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere is other issues besides the socks, he believes that my family is very selfish and that i may have some of those traits in me, i agree that my family acts selfish, but i believe that im not, i know i took his socks but i felt comfortable to do that because he is mu husband and i didnt think of "haha im taking his only pair" the thought of he needing them didnt occur to me.
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female
reader, woman23 +, writes (4 June 2008):
woman23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all of your answers, i do get a clearer picture when you get advice from someone looking outside of the circle that you are inside.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): If you end up with a fungal nail infection you'll have the perfect opportunity to have a go at him for not regularly washing his feet. I hope you don't though.
Mountains and molehills spring to mind here.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (3 June 2008):
Ha Ha Ha Eyes!
You just reminded me of some good underwear stories! I worked in an art department for years with a big, manly guy. He was quite funny, frank and outspoken, and he would come in from time to time and say that he had run out of underwear and tell us "Yeah, I'm wearing my wife's! Look!" - Sure enough, he'd pull the side up out of his jeans - White cotton with little Scottie Dogs and Bows on their little Heads! The next day, sure enough, Little Umbrellas! I hadn't thought of that in years. Another guy in the department told us during this "laundry episode" the tidbit that he went "commando". Well, we used to lunch outside and play volleyball for our break. He bent over, ripped his jeans and pulled out his shirttail to cover up. He went back to work and duck taped the hole in is jeans - from the outside... (the plot thickens). We didn't see much of him that afternoon, but we did hear him - because when he finally stood up again, he "waxed" his butt with the duct tape! Hahahaha! Good times!
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Birdy is right about women holding on to arguments much longer than men. I know that is the case with my wife and I. I would also bet that she is correct that he has long forgotten about it by now. Men tend to get angry faster and cool off faster. Probably has something to do with hormones. Birdy, you and my wife are so much the same. Argument happens - I forget about it in 20 minutes - she doesn't = no nookie for 3 days. I guess I understand her better now. Thanks for the outlook.
To the poster - I don't think you did anything wrong. Perhaps you should have told him as soon as you saw him so that he would not have been surprised. I think that would have been the best thing to do. I wouldn't expect you to go and find him and ask before you took them.
Birdy, I think that you are completely correct in your reaction to the money thing. That is much more serious than a pair of socks. My wife and I both warn each other if we take maney from the other before a problem arises.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Sorry Hun, but I'm with the husband. Selfish, you thought only of yourself, you didn't think about him being cold too.
But no matter. You've appologized, and should now be safe and warm and cuddled up in each others arms. No problem, mistakes are made all the time.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (3 June 2008):
 This reminds me of the time, during last couple months of my first pregnancy, I was forced to either wear my husband's briefs or buy expensive maternity underwear. I opted for his. Got behind on the laundry one week and lawdy Moses did the shit hit the fan, you'd have thought I'd been secretly draining blood from him. Maternity underwear was amazingly cheaper for my subsequent pregnancies. Men go figure.
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (3 June 2008):
My favorite thing (NOT) that my husband and my kids would do was treat my wallet like a bank! I'd have a full grocery cart at the cash and open my wallet to find out that someone had taken all the money! (and that's always mortifying and embarrassing because it looks like you are broke...) After a few episodes like this, I read the riot act and afterwards, my purse was sacrosanct - "HAND'S OFF" - and NO one ever opened it again but me. They learned to bring it over to wherever I was and then they asked if I could give them some money.
Thought this story might be applicable...
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female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 It wasn't selfish, you were cold and you needed them and he didn't then. To freeze numb because he wasn't around to ask just then, THAT would have been silly. He is your husband, what happened to "in better and worse"?
I agree with Deema, it must have been something else that triggered his reaction. Ask him about it, or just leave it. Hopefully it was just a one-time thing due to a temporary bad moment of his. Those things happens.
Don't feel bad over this, you didn't do anything wrong borrowing his socks to warm up.
Wish you all the best!
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female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (3 June 2008):
Well, he had a point. Asking is the right thing to do first. If the situation was reversed, you would be miffed too. Hopefully, he wasn't screaming or blowing it out of all proportions, 'cause that would be a bit wrong over a simple pair of socks. How you deal with issues should be in proportion with the actual issue that's involved. If he just was cross for a while and then let it go, that's fine. You should let it go too. Don't hang on to old arguements.
AND, just incase you haven't noticed yet, as women, we tend to hang on and stay pissed longer, and guys just blow up and in twenty minutes, they've forgotten it! That's probably the better reaction over a pair of socks, and your still upset enough to write us! Take an example from the male of the species and learn to drop the small arguments once they have ended - your health and you relationship will be better off! I know, I would be mad a week after an arguement with my husband, and he'd be happy as a lark! I'd even forgo sex, now who exactly was I punishing? Only myself! Learn to pick your battles, the small ones aren't worth it and that's no way to win in the long run.
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female
reader, Love_is_all_youu_need  +, writes (3 June 2008):
 I must admit, I found the question title rather funny!
But once I read your post, i could see the seriousness of the issue. Don't worry about it, You haven't done much wrong really - You took his socks... it isn't a crime! I take it that your husband is a bit on the sensitive side? Just tell him you're sorry - it should resolve the issue. Gud luck! xx
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female
reader, Deema +, writes (3 June 2008):
 I think the issue here is not the socks at all. I think something else is going on in the relationship and the socks is the final straw, and I think thats why you are bothered by it. A while ago I went bananas at my husband for treading paint all over the carpet when he was working in the house - bu the paint wasn't the real issue at all. At the time I felt he wasn't respecting my wishes about several other things and the paint was the final straw that made me blow my top. So what are the other issues going on here? If they're not going on for you, then you have to ask him what made it his final straw. If thats really not the case, then do you really want to be with a person who gets so neurotic about a pair of socks?
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 June 2008): Honey, it looks like you're dwelling on the past and both making something out of nothing. It was a pair of socks, come on. All you need to do is explain that you were cold and didn't think straight, I'm sure if he loves you that he'll just accept it. It's not kids in the playground stealing sweets any longer, you're adults so don't cling onto this.
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