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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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Is she going off me???
Q. I have more problems that's making me feel like my Gf wants to split up with me, one second when she's happy when im with her and her friends are around but when its just me and her she looks really depressed , also when i say i love her before i go ...
A. 20 March 2010: I hope your heart heals soon and you go on to love again xxx... (read in full...)
Lost, don't know what to do?
Q. Hi, I've been married for 17 years. There is a 12 year age gap between me and my husband. At first it did not seem to matter, but now he has turned 50 and has no teeth, i'm struggling. I have had 2 one night stands in the past and felt very g...
A. 19 March 2010: Its just the attention your enjoying, After being ignored and down trodden by your older husband.
Be aware that this new man may be using you for sex (he seems to have a colourful past indicating he's had previous bad relationships) I know you... (read in full...)
Is she going off me???
Q. I have more problems that's making me feel like my Gf wants to split up with me, one second when she's happy when im with her and her friends are around but when its just me and her she looks really depressed , also when i say i love her before i go ...
A. 18 March 2010: It sounds likeshe wants to cool off. Relationships when your younger create a lot of pressure and girls are sensitive to this.
Sorry to say but it may not go your way, but to salvage things you could ask her if she would just like to stay friends.... (read in full...)
He told me to move on, he wasn't interested
Q. Hi Have known this guy for the past 4 years - told him how i feel about him from the start - use to phone and speak for hours and chat online nearly every night. He lives about 4 hours from me. Have met up on a few occasions. Over the years w...
A. 17 March 2010: You need to break away from him. I know it's hard as he is probably fulfilling some lonely need in your life but it's scraps from the table and I am sure your worth so much more.
He has made it plain that he isn't interested and probably just cal... (read in full...)
3 weeks till I give birth is it normal for my urine to smell almost like bleach?
Q. i have three weeks left before i give birth and am just wondering if it is normal for my urine to smell.for the last two days i have noticed that it smells something like bleach a really strong and not a very nice smell is this something to worry ...
A. 17 March 2010: You may have a urine infection, you need to go see your doctor or midwife. Also try and increase your fluid intake.... (read in full...)
I want to convince her that I've changed
Q. I want to know if there is anything I can do now to repair or recover my relationship. My girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me 2 months ago and I am completely devastated. She had tried to tell me several times that I wasn't giving her what she ...
A. 17 March 2010: Fight like you've never fought before. Go and see her, write her letters, beg her to come back. She needs the full on 'In your face' kind of treatment...
and if she does come back you better be good to your promise and try hard to not let her down... (read in full...)
Girls is it confidence, appearance, attitude; what?
Q. Girls: does confidence matter more if the guy is generally seen as "unattractive"? I have good days where i'm super cocky, other days where i'm almost shy. As confident as I get and as much time as i spend on my appearance and personality, I get ...
A. 17 March 2010: In relationships:
Men always punch above their weight and Women always punch below it.
... (read in full...)
He refuses to admit he is still talking to this other woman, should I just leave?
Q. Boyfriend texts a another woman and wont stop. I have been seeing him for 2 years. Quite early on in the relationship my phone broke and I put my chip in his phone (in his presence) just to check my messages. I saw many explicit text between him ...
A. 17 March 2010: Good...Now get out there and live your life in peace xxxxx... (read in full...)
We have an open relationship, yet I think he is hiding an attraction to another person.
Q. I have an open relationship with a guy. We both have an understanding that we can date other people and that we have no need to lie to one another because...well its an open relationship. I wouldn't even call it a relationship because we are not ...
A. 17 March 2010: I am glad you learned from this.
In life respect yourself above all others and recognised when your being used. That way you will avoid getting into bad relationships and will have a happier life.
xx
... (read in full...)
Will he be missing me as much as I am missing him?
Q. hello,i need to explain what happened before you can help me!..i work on a militry base behind a bar and i love my job,last sept my dream guy walked into the bar and started to chat..to shorten this tale a little..he was posted in for 8 weeks and ...
A. 16 March 2010: Theres just no way of knowing to be honest. If you want me to guess I'd say no because he's married and men can walk away very easily with little or no emotional attachment...but only you know him, so maybe you should ask him.... (read in full...)
Will he be missing me as much as I am missing him?
Q. hello,i need to explain what happened before you can help me!..i work on a militry base behind a bar and i love my job,last sept my dream guy walked into the bar and started to chat..to shorten this tale a little..he was posted in for 8 weeks and ...
A. 16 March 2010: Possibly!...what are you hoping for from this liason?... (read in full...)
He refuses to admit he is still talking to this other woman, should I just leave?
Q. Boyfriend texts a another woman and wont stop. I have been seeing him for 2 years. Quite early on in the relationship my phone broke and I put my chip in his phone (in his presence) just to check my messages. I saw many explicit text between him ...
A. 16 March 2010: I hate to be so negative but you have asked him to stop and he has done the exact opposite. He's never going to find happiness with her because shes married and its a whole can of worms but you need to ask yourself what you want, what is going to ... (read in full...)
How do you get over your ex?
Q. Hello there. My question is ultimately how do you get over your ex? I have read so many answers to this question but all fail for me, I've believed time is the best healier, kept myself very busy, exercised, didnt resort to drugs or booze l...
A. 16 March 2010: Putting her aside, it seems like you have gone through several traumatic events in a short space of time in your young life. Serious physical illness often leads to or exacebates any mental health problem (Bi polar for you)and I think this could be ... (read in full...)
I know he is interested in me but why is he still on the dating site?
Q. I met a guy through a dating website and we have been talking for almost two months. We have seen each other several times and have kissed. He calls me at least twice a day and text. When we are together we plan our next meeting. The problem: I am ...
A. 16 March 2010: I would ask him. He may not be seeing your liason as a serious relationship and could still be dipping his toe in the water to see if someone better comes along. He could be maintaining friendships he's already made until he knows how things work ... (read in full...)
Years later and things have changed, I've changed...but she doesn't trust me because of what happened before...
Q. Hi, I have a major issue…… Firstly a little background info. I’m 31 years old and live in Australia. From the ages of 19 to 24 I lived in Europe and other parts of the world. During my two years living in the mediterranean, I was 21 at the time, I ...
A. 16 March 2010: Oh my what a very sad and touching story...I really feel for you.
I am sorry your in so much pain over this. She was obviously affected deeply by what happened between the two of you and for some people that would be enough to destroy trust. Y... (read in full...)
How do I get over an ex?
Q. I have blogged here several times about someone I was involved with last summer and into the fall. I ended it in October of 2009, but some reason I cannot get over it, I still see him when I go out, and we look at one another, I feel his eyes on me ...
A. 16 March 2010: The only real way to get over a break up is to maintain a no contact rule. Delete him from all your social networking sites, get rid of his numbers, his pictures and anything that reminds you of him. Avoid going to places he goes. Hard at first but ... (read in full...)
We have an open relationship, yet I think he is hiding an attraction to another person.
Q. I have an open relationship with a guy. We both have an understanding that we can date other people and that we have no need to lie to one another because...well its an open relationship. I wouldn't even call it a relationship because we are not ...
A. 16 March 2010: He isnt telling you because he basically doesn't have to. You have some kind of crazy non- relationship which sounds like a 'friends with benefits' deal to me. It's really dumb to make verbal agreements with people that you will be completely ... (read in full...)
I feel humilated coz my ex is telling everyone we had sex in a park!
Q. I was dating a guy, and I broke up with him on account of the fact that he cheated on me with one of my friends. When I broke up with him , I stopped talking to him for a while but we became friends again after some time. So later we met up at a ...
A. 16 March 2010: Im not going to judge you. We all do crazy stuff when we are young...and a lot more crazy stuff when we get older (but by then we don't really care what people think).
You seem like a very caring sensitive girl who has been used by a complete... (read in full...)
I want to let go of the man I am having an affair with, but I am obsessed with him.
Q. Dear Cupid, Iam a married women for 3 years and we have a good relationship, i love my husband and care for him, but i meet i man 1 year ago and fell inlove with him. we been keeping our relationship very secret and he also had a gf for so many y...
A. 16 March 2010: Well me personally I don't think your doing the right thing.
Today people seem to want it all and are prepared to lie cheat and decieve those closest to them to get exactly what they want.
I'd say you are in a mess of your own making. Your che... (read in full...)
My ex wont move on....should I stop contact for a while?
Q. My ex broke up with me nearly 4months ago and we still stayed very close afterwards but I realised 3weeks ago that it was not helping me get over him and I was only ended up upset after talking with or meeting up with him even tho we would have a ...
A. 16 March 2010: I also agree with Lexie. Your doing fantastically well to break contact...keep going and never look back.
xxx... (read in full...)
Three years after our split...shouldn't I be over this man?
Q. hi i'm 43 and was married for around 20 years. i separated from my husband 3 years ago but cant seem to move on.. i thought i had accepted his relationship with his cousin but i find i get really upset when we are getting on and just talking and he ...
A. 16 March 2010: I am not surprised your hurting!!!
It's really really painful to see someone you love with someone else...in fact it's torture and makes it so difficult for you to switch off.
If you have children with someone and you break up (as has happened... (read in full...)
I know a Japanese widow, and would like some advice on how to appraoch dating her.
Q. Hello, I would be grateful for any advice on the advice of starting dating a (Japanese) widow. We live in London, England, and she has been living here 20 years. Her husband died 10 years ago. I am in my late 40s, she is about 5 years older. Many...
A. 15 March 2010: Depends how well you know her but why dont you get to know her as a friend first and then if things go well ask her out to dinner.... (read in full...)
Closeness with my ex boyfriend...
Q. So my best friend is my ex-boyfriend, who I am still in love with. We have known each other for 3 years, and I had just gotten out of a bad relationship when I met him that he helped me get through. About a year and a half into our friendship, we ...
A. 15 March 2010: The longer you refuse to face whats happening and the more you linger on trying to talk to him about things he, quite frankly, appears to care nothing about...the longer its going to take you to get over him.
Seriously you dont need to talk to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be her carer as her health worsens so I broke it off with her!
Q. I just ended a relationship with my girlfriend (we been together 2 years, had our ups and downs but shes a good person). She recently found out she has a serious heart condition and will probably end up in a wheelchair and dependant (her health has ...
A. 13 March 2010: It is a selfish act but I can see your reasoning. She has a tough time ahead of her and needs support. Although I agree it is hard to give support when you put your own needs first, I hope you broke the news gently.
She is calling because,... (read in full...)
Is he is a potential abuser who would be like this with anyone?
Q. Hi, I met this guy via the local community (he is a community beat policeman) when I was having some problems and he asked me out for a drink so I went. He seems quite nice in some ways if a little 'weak'. However apparently he has quite a temper ...
A. 13 March 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/am-i-overreacting-or-is-he-a-bit.html
I think this question has already been asked and answered by several people.
Hope the link helps you find the answers people were good enough to leave.... (read in full...)
Her text wasn't meant for me. Who was she texting?
Q. My girlfriend says she always goes to bed around 9pm because she works all week and is always tired by then. She never answers any texts off me after that time and always waits till morning to reply. We were supposed to be spending the day...
A. 13 March 2010: Could be innocent enough. Maybe she just got into the convo with a friend or whoever and it went past her regular bedtime.
You could just casually ask her who she was chatting to so late. She will either be up front, lie or tell you to mind you... (read in full...)
Should I end this 8 month marriage?
Q. Hi, I think its time to end our marriage. I have been married for about 8 months now and everything seems to be falling apart and my love for my husband diminishing. I feel like he is a chronic liar and does not treat me the way I want. Im now d...
A. 13 March 2010: To the anonymous lady who wrote 'CHANGE FOR HIM'!!!
Im sorry but I think thats dumb advice
Are you asking the poor girl to become a doormat to be abused??
So she rushed into a marriage without finding out how the guy really was...a mistake t... (read in full...)
How do I deal with workplace cliques? Need help please!
Q. by my work colleagues? Im a quiet person i have been on night shift for nearly 2 years but now due a management decision I must go back to day shift,i am a bit annoyed but accept this, I will work as required, i like my job! I am nice to my w...
A. 13 March 2010: I know it's not easy to make friends in the workplace, especially in a female dominated environment. I too work in a hospital and people are definitely cliquey amongst certain groups.
I am quite a reserved person and I found it hard to fit into... (read in full...)
He got married last April but has added me on Facebook again! What is he playing at?
Q. last year my ex fiance contacted me via facebook stating he wanted to be friends-there was a lot of bad history so i was happy to clear the air. then he started doing weird stuff like only contacting me early in the morning etc and showing off his ...
A. 12 March 2010: Whatever he is doing, it's messing with your head and taking up your valuable time. I think the act of displaying ones wedding and life to any kind of ex fiance is extremely cruel...you must feel like he is rubbing your nose in it.
I can understa... (read in full...)
Concerned for my sister...
Q. I am very concerned about my sister, Margaret. She is addicted to prescription pills which she has been on for 20 years, unknowingly she didnt realise the pills were addictive. My concern is her partner and his mother. I dont have a good feeling ...
A. 12 March 2010: If your sister isn't married to this man then he has no claim or entitlement to her money or property. The common law husband/wife status no longer exists in England so it wouldn't matter if he stayed with her for 50 years, he still wouldn't be ... (read in full...)
Closeness with my ex boyfriend...
Q. So my best friend is my ex-boyfriend, who I am still in love with. We have known each other for 3 years, and I had just gotten out of a bad relationship when I met him that he helped me get through. About a year and a half into our friendship, we ...
A. 12 March 2010: Why can't you just be a couple if you mean so much to eachother??
Your spending all your time together and performing sexual acts on eachother...most people would call that a relationship.
Your in love with him, but is he in love with you?
... (read in full...)
When is close, TOO CLOSE?
Q. I'm coming here, because I have no where else to turn and I'm in serious need of advice. I found this site and am hoping I can get some insight here. I am married, have been for over 10 years. My husband and I got married under less than perfect ...
A. 12 March 2010: I think you need to take the high road here. Yes he's going out of his way and becoming very close...whatever he's thinking at this stage should not concern you. If he comes to you as a friend then take it at face value and treat him as a platonic ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting or is he a bit odd??
Q. Hi, I met this guy via the local community (he is a community beat policeman) when I was having some problems and he asked me out for a drink so I went. He seems quite nice in some ways if a little 'weak'. However apparently he has quite a temper ...
A. 11 March 2010: If he looked like Freddie Kruegar would you wanna continue to date him?
Amazing isn't it that we can't ignore ugliness on the surface but weird, creepy, abusive, derogatory, cruel, sly and agressive behaviour...we go into denial and pretend ... (read in full...)
I want to leave my marriage to pursue another as I am NOT happy...
Q. My husband was unfaithful to me when I was pregnant nearly 8 years ago and right up until I found out when my child was a toddler. We worked through things, have amazing sex now, he genuinely cannot get enough of me, I am early 40's but I have ...
A. 10 March 2010: When your husband cheated on you all that time ago, it killed something inside of you. He obviously thought he could make it up to you but when trust has been destroyed, not much can be done. When you know inside your heart that you are unhappy, ... (read in full...)
My guy has no time for me...
Q. My guy has no time for me! I'm wondering what I should do. He genuinely has just become very busy and we have dated for 7 months. He first said he loves me a few months ago and we say it during all our conversations or when we are together. We hav...
A. 10 March 2010: I think you've got it made and Rabbit is exactly right. He is showing you he loves you by building rooms for you and your kids into his life. You need to work with him and if that means you only get your cuddles after midnight then so-be-it for a ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has become increasingly distant, am I just being overly sensitive?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, and in the last 2 months he has become increasingly distant. We used to be together pretty much all the time, and when we werent together we spoke or texed frequently. We used to see each other 2 ...
A. 10 March 2010: Im not sure it's always best to press blokes for answers they are absolutely not ready to give you. Men tend to clam up in order to resolve their issues.
I know your in a state of confusion and feel your heart is breaking but pushing him might ju... (read in full...)
I'm enjoying the chase but I how do I get things to progress forward?
Q. I recently wrote about being in a deadend relationship for the past 10 years. I have know this guy for 26 years. Been together 10 and have a 7 year old. Never met his mum or family. Do not live together. I have had enough. does not communicate ...
A. 10 March 2010: Your in your 40's and unmarried. If you like the new bloke, why don't you ask him out on a date. If he says no then you know he's not interested but if he says yes then see what happens. As for the father of your son, well if the relationship cannot ... (read in full...)
Is this too good to be true?
Q. I have been dating a man for about a month, he told me that we was falling for me almost immediatly. We seem to share the same world view, he tells me he's been looking for his mate for two years. He is divorced since 2001. He has opened up his ...
A. 10 March 2010: I agree with Lexie. It's far too soon to be talking about marriage. I too met a guy a few years ago and he was the same, like an excited puppy and totally into me. He was talking about marriage after only a few weeks and seemed to be offering the ... (read in full...)
Why do I get attached to women so easily??
Q. Why do I get attached to women so easily?? I met someone and we only dated a few times, but enjoyed many conversations on phone and online. when she said she did not want to see me anymore, i could not let go because i had got so attached, and got ...
A. 9 March 2010: It's hard to say why you get so attached so early. Maybe your the kind of person who has very high expectations before you get to know women. Without knowing if you have had successful relationships in your past, it's hard to pinpoint...maybe it's a ... (read in full...)
What is he up to? Does he sound dodgy to you?
Q. Help!! A man contacted me from a dating site that i am listed; we sent friendly email back and forth for about one week; this man never asked about me or my life be just talked about what he wants in a woman and he also disclosed that his prev ...
A. 9 March 2010: Im actully gobsmacked that you even need to ask if he's dodgy?? Can you not see it?
The internet if packed to the brim with 'nutwedges' and 'weirdos'
Do yourself a huge favour and delete him.... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him understand that this bitch is a psycho and that I am not the one in the wrong.
Q. Hi, I'm after advice re my ex. I dumped her about a year ago but we stayed in touch and I thought we might get back together a few weeks ago but I changed my mind cos I met a woman at work I quite fancied. I was angry with my ex because I asked ...
A. 9 March 2010: It would be so brilliant if we here at DC could get in touch with your ex and your son. Firstly to extend our sympathy to them both, tell them that even though we don't know them that we actually care about what they are going through and offer them ... (read in full...)
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