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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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So much drama with this girl...is it worth it?
Q. I know this looks long but the question is short. 2/3 of it is just part of the argument we had that id like you guys to weigh in on. This is kinda a follow-up to my earlier question: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 15 November 2009: :-)...such is life xxx... (read in full...)
How much time does he need to know whether this relationship is the one
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a divorced mom who was marred over fifeen years. I did the on line dating, which was no fun until I met a wonderful older guy a couple of years ago and the relationship developed well. He introduced me to his family members ...
A. 18 October 2009: I wish you the very best of luck and all happiness for the future xxx... (read in full...)
What are the chances she is pregnant?
Q. Alright, so my girlfriend and I last had sex 6 days ago.(We're both 14, by the way, but please don't answer my question like you're talking to a little kid who has to be told about abstinence)After I ejaculated into my condom, I took off the condom ...
A. 10 October 2009: I also want to add that whether your 14 or 40 or 60, irrelevant of age, if your not ready to become a father then it's really important to take maximum precautions everytime. That way you avoid being caught!... (read in full...)
What are the chances she is pregnant?
Q. Alright, so my girlfriend and I last had sex 6 days ago.(We're both 14, by the way, but please don't answer my question like you're talking to a little kid who has to be told about abstinence)After I ejaculated into my condom, I took off the condom ...
A. 10 October 2009: Previous answers are both very good but I have to say I work in obstetrics and studies have shown that teen preganacies are more likely to be caused by pre semen inseminations (mostly due to poor knowledge of birth control methods). It is also NOT ... (read in full...)
I didn't trust her, kept checking on her and now she has left me
Q. Hi , im telling you this story as its ripping my heart out and i dont know what to do , my fiance left me two weeks ago , she said she couldnt take it anymore , the way i spoke to her and that i never shown our son who is now 7 any love , it all ...
A. 9 October 2009: You said she left two weeks ago. Is that really a long enough period of time for you to seriously address your problems and change completely and enough to make her happy, or are you just hoping that you can put on a temporary facade of change to ... (read in full...)
I didn't trust her, kept checking on her and now she has left me
Q. Hi , im telling you this story as its ripping my heart out and i dont know what to do , my fiance left me two weeks ago , she said she couldnt take it anymore , the way i spoke to her and that i never shown our son who is now 7 any love , it all ...
A. 8 October 2009: It seems cliche but there is a lot more to Love thn just saying I love you. I don't have to tell you that lying spying and mistrusting behaviour all stems from control. When one person in a relationship seeks to gain control over the other they will ... (read in full...)
She said she doesn't love me anymore after 8 years, how do I know if she really means it?
Q. ok my girl broke up with me 5 days ago and she wouldnt answer any of my calls or textes. so i sent her flowers and i finaly got a text back which didnt say much anyhow. i talked to her today and she told me she doesnt wanna talk to me because she ...
A. 8 October 2009: It sounds like she is pretty serious about ending the relationship. There could be many reasons why it ended but I would say after 8 years it must be something pretty big.
I know your hurting but you need to honour her wishes and give her space at... (read in full...)
I seem to attract girls who always end up cheating on me, please help.
Q. Im a 16 year old boy, and I know I'm probably too young to really be needing this advice, but I just want some help. I seem to attract women who always end up cheating on me. That or they're awkward relationships that end in two weeks. I don't k...
A. 8 October 2009: There is nothing wrong with you, seriously, relationships are complicated and can be messy and take a lot of hard work. I don't wanna put you down for being young as feelings can be intense but when you are young, your still learning about all the ... (read in full...)
Hurt once, never again?
Q. In my thirties now, I feel I'll always be connected to a friend of mine who was a quick love 4 years ago. We remain friends and sometimes we see each other. He's a good man, but when he's with a new relationship I feel devastated; he broke up with ...
A. 8 October 2009: One can't change how one feels and deep feelings of attachment and love are the hardest to change of all.
Staying friends with an ex is always very difficult if you retain feelings. It's like standing at a window watching what you most desire a... (read in full...)
How much time does he need to know whether this relationship is the one
Q. Dear Cupid, I am a divorced mom who was marred over fifeen years. I did the on line dating, which was no fun until I met a wonderful older guy a couple of years ago and the relationship developed well. He introduced me to his family members ...
A. 8 October 2009: I don't think you can confront him. I think you can only act according to how you are feeling about the relationship. If you arn't getting the green light signals that you expect apart from him saying he wants you in his life forever (thats a pretty ... (read in full...)
Being in a ghost relationship?
Q. Hi everyone! I'm really in desperate need for some advice about the "relationship" I find myself in. I already know that the right decision should just be to abandon it, but we all know that is not so easy when feelings are involved.So here goe...
A. 7 October 2009: Im so sorry for your troubles hunny,
This is a typical case of a one sided love affair. You have developed deep feelings for this man and in many ways he has formed an attachment to you. He seems to have a lot of problems and perhaps they are occu... (read in full...)
So much drama with this girl...is it worth it?
Q. I know this looks long but the question is short. 2/3 of it is just part of the argument we had that id like you guys to weigh in on. This is kinda a follow-up to my earlier question: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 7 October 2009: You seem like a very caring and sensible young man who isn't afraid to step up to the plate. I hope you sort things out...you deserve a good outcome.
best wishes
Aunty Em x a.k.a Angie... (read in full...)
Should I move on or email him? It's an online, LDR.
Q. I have been talking to a 45 year old man (I'm 23) over the internet for about 5 months now. He lives about 13 hours away from me and I plan on moving to the state he lives in, in about 3 months (for college). Hes not married (is divorced). So we ...
A. 6 October 2009: Well I doubt it's the pictures if you look the same in them. Maybe he has a really good reason for not writing back...busy etc. To put your mind at rest I would drop him a line or call him, you don't really have anything to lose by trying. Least ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to sleep with a woman I hardly know?
Q. I meet a woman 2 months ago, through the Internet.We talk over the phone just about everyday. The problem is she wants to spend the night with me.The problem is that I am scared of her showing up un-announced, Is it ok to sleep with a woman I hardly...
A. 6 October 2009: It is simple,
'If in doubt...DON'T'... (read in full...)
So much drama with this girl...is it worth it?
Q. I know this looks long but the question is short. 2/3 of it is just part of the argument we had that id like you guys to weigh in on. This is kinda a follow-up to my earlier question: http://www.dearcupid.org/quest...
A. 6 October 2009: I think she still has feelings for you and thats why shes creating so much drama and guilt for you. She knows your a caring person to an extent and she is playing on it to gain attention. It's a sad thing and she probably is really hurt deep down, ... (read in full...)
My teenage daughters found my husband's porn and our sex life has been replaced with his fetishes!
Q. After 18 years of marriage my daughters found my husband's porn on his computer, they were thirteen and fifteen. They informed me because they did'nt know what else to do. A few weeks later I was checking why insulation was on the floor and found ...
A. 5 October 2009: The way I see it, you have three choices.
Talk to him and try to understand why he has these fetishes and maybe suggest some ways for you to be involved.
Tell him how disturbed and upset you are that things have changed so much and ask him to s... (read in full...)
This married man has really got me confused big time.
Q. No moral judgements please it's to late for that. 30yrs ago i met a married man we had a 3yr affair,i moved away that ended it. now 6yrs ago we catch up again and we have started this all over again,he is still married i am not,the thing is i have a...
A. 5 October 2009: Your a human being who needs closeness and affection. In the absence of a fulfilling relationship perhaps this guy ticks a few boxes and fills a few of your needs. Women seek comfort through security. They need to be able to give and recieve love ... (read in full...)
Which of us is at fault here?
Q. I am really confused at the moment. I am married with three children. My husband is a very domesticated person and is caring. However over the last year things have got worse as we have a child with special needs who needs a special school. I am ...
A. 5 October 2009: Hello there,
It sounds as if you are both close to breaking point with all the pressures on your family. Sometimes we feel we are on a treadmill, going through the motions and slowly sinking into the mud as more and more pressure is put upon us.... (read in full...)
Have you ever obsessed over your EX wifes/GFs NEW boyfriend?
Q. I know we hear about it on the news or from friends at a get together but why do men after we have blown many opportunities with the a wife/GF, why do we obsess with her. After a divorce or break-up and especially after finding out that that have a ...
A. 27 September 2009: I guess it's called 'sour grapes' or another cliche 'You never know a good thing until it's gone'
I am sorry for your predicament but seems you know what you did and why it all went wrong. Your ex is an individual in her own right and is entitled... (read in full...)
How do I find out if he's single and interested in me?
Q. I have met this guy at a club I go to, once a month. But I met him and another girl who seem to be good friends but i cant tell whether they are dating...they seem to know each other quite well. However, he seemed kinda interested in me?! Im very ...
A. 27 September 2009: You could always ask one of your friends to ask him discreetly. He may enjoy the mystery of who's 'into' him and it beats the ' My friend fancies you' line :-) maybe he's a bit shy? Generally boys prefer to do the chasing, but we live in a modern ... (read in full...)
What do I do about my alcoholic wife?
Q. my question is about my alcohol wife Im married 15 years and the stories or horror stories I never thought that an alcoholic can create so many serious problems, dangerous and destructive. I got to get out of this situation I tried everything to ...
A. 27 September 2009: I am so glad you are going to see your dad, it's the right thing to do.
God's speed and love to you
Aunty Em xxx a.k.a angie xxxxx... (read in full...)
What do I do about my alcoholic wife?
Q. my question is about my alcohol wife Im married 15 years and the stories or horror stories I never thought that an alcoholic can create so many serious problems, dangerous and destructive. I got to get out of this situation I tried everything to ...
A. 25 September 2009: I am so terribly moved by your situation. What an absolute nightmare to be living in. Your very obviously a caring person but your suffering and stress comes through in your words.
Alcoholism is a curse that affects not only the drinker but the ... (read in full...)
I recently lost close family member and feel numb but I know I'm pushing my husband away
Q. Hi there. I wonder if anyone can give me some advice. I have wonderful and supportive husband who would do anything for me. I love him dearly. Recently I have lost a very close family relative and it has really shaken me up. I seem to have gone off ...
A. 16 September 2009: Recovering from bereavement is like recovering from a wound or illness. At first it is all consuming and knocks you off your feet but slowly it begins to hurt a little less each day and your life returns to normal. In this period of recovery it is ... (read in full...)
Tired of being the good girl all the time!
Q. Life is to short to have to worry about if and when the right man would come along. I am a single mother of a daughter that is seventeen. I have always tried to do what was best for her. I never brought her around to many men that I have dated. She ...
A. 12 September 2009: I agree that you should be more open minded about people you meet. Cheating is unnacceptable and there are a lot of people who cheat...but there are also countless others who don't. You may have trust issues from past relationships but when you meet ... (read in full...)
He hasn't called for about a month now, but I'm too proud to call him first!
Q. Hi Guys Here's the deal. I recently broke up with this guy, we have been what you would say best/very close friends before we got intimate. We were close but as with all relationships we had our ups and downs. When we broke up, it was my do...
A. 12 September 2009: I think it would be impossible to guess what he is really thinking but I tend to rely on what I know from years of studying human psychology and examining relationships.
Firstly Guys arn't so complicated. They tend to take things at face value. I... (read in full...)
What should I do with this Capricorn guy? I feel like I'm the only consistant in this relationship!
Q. I have been dating my Capricorn guy for 5 months,everything was just great at the begining and slowly he was pulling away stopped calling txting..etc, unless if i did! second he was like let us be close friends! and thats what he told me that he ...
A. 12 September 2009: I agree with pinktopaz. I don't think it has anything to do with his being a Capricorn. Both myself and my partner are Capricorns and we are both loyal and attentive to eachother but it is more to do with the fact that we want to be together (as I ... (read in full...)
I'm emotionally confused,and I tested the water to see if he would come running back
Q. Hey everyone, this site is new to me, so lets see how this works out. I am a gay male and I have been dating my partner for 10 months now, its been the greatest 10 months, complete with roller coasters, emotional confusion the works of a long-...
A. 5 September 2009: I can't relate totally to your situation but what I do know is that when your feeling negative emotions in a relationship, it can make you do all kinds of weird stuff. Thought processes get confused and behaviour changes.
Your BF talking to a guy... (read in full...)
Why risk the chance of pregnancy?
Q. If man know when their are cumming, why is it that their still will cum inside? (Especially when they are avioding getting her pergnant)....
A. 3 September 2009: Because at the point of orgasm, it's very hard for a man to think about such a thing. There are men who will 'pull out' but for many men, the sensation is lost or spoilt by doing this. There is also a risk of pregnancy when a man enters a woman ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated and got someone pregnant -- should I forgive him?
Q. My boyfriend cheated and had a baby. I found out 10 months later by accident Now he wants another chance. I am so torn because I love him but the entire family knew about it and they all kept quiet. They asked me to cosign for a house..this was befo...
A. 3 September 2009: Break up pain is the worst. I don't think there are too many people who haven't faced it at some point in their life. You are doing it to make life better for yourself and avoid being cheated on in the future so you have lots to gain.
Give ... (read in full...)
Unsure if I'm pregnant, do my symptoms suggest that I am?
Q. hey well lets cut to the point if i am pregnant i will be four weeks, i am due on my period today it aint showed up yet but theres still time. the other night for about half an hour i had a pain down below that felt like someone was stabbing...
A. 2 September 2009: I think it would be near impossible for anyone here to guess if you were pregnant or not. A few symptoms is not enough information to suppose such a thing.
Contact your doctor, or a Marie Stopes centre for a free pregnancy test, you could also try... (read in full...)
Went snooping through all of his things and found stuff from his past - do I have a right to be upset?
Q. I need to know if this is a *me* problem that I should work on personally, or if I need to talk to my boyfriend about it too. I'll apologize for this being so long now. I just have a lot to say about the issue at hand. This morning, I have no i...
A. 31 August 2009: I think your boyfriend would be totally devestated if he knew you went through his stuff...it's a pretty despicable thing to do (imagine if he did it to you??? you would think he was a controlling monster, so why is it even ok for you to do it???) ... (read in full...)
My bf cheated and got someone pregnant -- should I forgive him?
Q. My boyfriend cheated and had a baby. I found out 10 months later by accident Now he wants another chance. I am so torn because I love him but the entire family knew about it and they all kept quiet. They asked me to cosign for a house..this was befo...
A. 31 August 2009: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!
You DO need to sort out the co-signing of the house and make sure it has no residual financial implications on you. Then you need to kiss his cheating scumbag butt goodbye for good!!!!
xxxxx... (read in full...)
Should I tell him myself, or just hope that no one else does?
Q. Please help me, I need some piece of mind. Let me explain... in February, I lost a baby, which devastated me and my ex, and although I have two children from a previous relationship, this baby was my ex’s first, so I cannot comprehend the guilt I ...
A. 31 August 2009: I think you need to seriously step back from the whole 'ex' situation and sort yourself out first. He sounds like a complete nightmare to be honest and it seems he is messing with your head so you don't know if your coming or going.
* Tells yo... (read in full...)
We have a sexual relationship only, should he at least have sent me a birthday card?
Q. I have a sexual relationship with this man. We have been seeing eachother for a while, mind you mainly just for sex. It was my birthday the other day and he did not call to say Happy Birthday. I did not expect a gift but I was expecting a phone ...
A. 31 August 2009: Hmm, perhaps(If indeed he does know when your birthday is)he feels that buying you a card is a little too much like taking things a step closer to a relationship. It's a tiny thing but it makes things personal...or you could just assume that he's a ... (read in full...)
Should I believe she doesn't remember her drunk-dial? And that nothing happened?
Q. ok, i was recently in a relationship with shall we say "x", we met online and chatted on the phine for about 3 weeks, then we met and had a really good couple of days together, we really hit it off, then the week after she came to visit me and again ...
A. 29 August 2009: If you know the 'best friend' is gay then why are you worried that anything happened?? Maybe she was really drunk and didn't know what she was doing?..A lot of people phone their ex or their partner when they are drunk...it's a kind of attention ... (read in full...)
Why is he making me jealous?
Q. Dated a guy for about six months and then broke up. We are trying to remain friends and have had a few coffee dates. I do see him because we would travel in the same circles. He would end up showing up at events and would sit where he would see me ...
A. 29 August 2009: The question is...Do you want him back???
If you still have feelings for him and his efforts to make you jealous are having an effect then maybe you should try to rekindle things. If you like him more than he likes you, then he could be just try... (read in full...)
How can I kick my ex bf out of my place?
Q. Hi :-( I'm a college student in a foreign country.My ex and i are still living together in an apartment that i pay for and the lease is on my name.We broke up about 2 years ago. Our breakup was not a bitter one, since no one cheated or anything...
A. 23 August 2009: You have every right to move on with your life guilt free. You have provided a roof for this man for two years and now it's time to break the deal.
He is living in a country illegally and you could get into serious trouble for sheltering him.
... (read in full...)
One on one dinner with a friend of the opposite sex - yay or nay?
Q. I'm in a great relationship where there is a lot of trust between my partner and I. I have many male friends that I hang out with or communicate with on a regular basis and he has female friends too. This is of course fine. But the other night, a...
A. 23 August 2009: Hmmm we as women know how women are and how they behave to get what they want. It may seem innocent enough but in my opinion, it seems she has other ideas than just a casual dinner.
Firstly she asked you in front of other people. She knew it ... (read in full...)
Did my husband text her acknowledging a lunchtime blowjob?
Q. Hi again everyone. Just an update about the 'situation' and more need for help. I am the wife trying to come to terms with the texting husband and discovered more texts on his old phone, one calling her a 'dirty little minx' but none of ...
A. 31 July 2009: Im confused, did this happen this year or last year? and why are you not going absolutely ballistic at your old man?? Even if it hasn't run to full blown sex...or it didn't at the time, things could still develop if he is still in contact with her. ... (read in full...)
What is acceptable when it comes to your husband looking at other women?
Q. I was wondering what's okay when it comes to your husband looking at other women. I don't mind my husband looking, but I absolutely hate it when he stares (and he ALWAYS stares). I know men will always look, heck, even I look once in awhile, but do ...
A. 30 July 2009: Just say to him 'Honey could you please stop checking put other womens racks, because it's seriously pissing me off'
or
'Im fine with you scoping other womens breasts as long as you don't mind me, from now on, mentioning every hot package that... (read in full...)
Am I right to have pressed charges? And why would he do these things?
Q. Hi I am taking my ex to court, for fraud theft and dwoc, I am due next week to appear. I was seeing this guy for 6 months, we had a lovely relationship, (so I thought) basically he stole money from my bank account by stealing my card. And taking...
A. 29 July 2009: There is no denying it, there really are some truly horrible, deceitful, lying bad bad people out there. There is no explaination why they are like that. You could blame it on a lot of things but nothing makes much difference to how these people ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my husband?
Q. After 32 years of reasonably happy marriage, I suspected my husband was messing around with another woman. I asked him what was going on he told me his feelings for me had changed. He had strong feelings for another woman and she felt the same. It ...
A. 29 July 2009: My heart goes out to you, what an absolutely shitty thing to be going through. I bet your minds all over the place with this.
Its true that a lot of people have brief affairs and then end up back with their nearest and dearest, you could put it d... (read in full...)
Why did she lie to me?
Q. I was dating a girl for a while and when we got together she told me she was single, now I come to find out that she would go back and forth between me and her ex boyfriend. We would be pissed about it but she tells me she wants to be with me and we ...
A. 29 July 2009: So sorry this has happened to you!!!
The path to true love never runs smooth as they say and some people are genuine and others arn't. She lied to you and you have the satisfaction of knowing that you no longer have to put up with her crap!!! ... (read in full...)
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